Hi there. Miss us? Yes. I suck. I know I do. No excuse... other than the whole I'm writing 3 other WIPS, lost my mojo, got pregnant, and headed Gisela's fundraising compilation. No biggie.

But really, if you've stuck around this long, ya'll deserve a fuckin' medal, because seriously... I would've flounced my own ass a long time ago.

There's about 2-3 chapters left.. maybe... it's definitely winding down...

SM Owns. PC and I own Gamerward and his orgasm-inducing capabilities.

Oh, and this it totally UNBETA'D. Seriously.

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Three months.

Three months of Edwardy bliss.

Life was good. My job was awesome, Edward was wonderful, and even Rose had calmed down considerably. Ever since I sent her the Purple Package, it's like someone took out her bitch module and replaced it with Rose v2.0. She actually showed up at my job on a weekday after the Purple weekend with Emmett. It went a little something like this...

"Bella, Rose is here to see you!" Jessica announced as she popped her head into my office. "Oh, my God, hasn't she been like, a total bitch to you?"

I stopped typing, because really, the idea that Rose would come by for a friendly visit with her brother's girlfriend is ridiculous and for a moment, I consider hiding under my desk like George Costanza. But I can't.

Be the bigger person, Bella.

"I'll be right there, Jessica and yes, she's been a total bitch. With my luck, she's here to complain about a product in the Purple Package I sent her. She probably used the warming vaginal lubricant on her face or something," I mutter as I straighten out my suit jacket in the mirror before flipping my hair back and walking into the lobby with my chin held high.

I was expecting Rosie the Lion. What I got was Rosie the Pussycat.

Her fingers fidgeted and as soon as she heard me approach, her eyes, once accusing and judgmental, now shown brightly, and yes... almost twinkled.

She approached and I greeted. "Rose, what can I do for... OOMPF!"

The woman hugged me. Icequeen Rose Cullen was hugging Bella Swan.

Quick. Someone record this.

When she finally stepped back from her death grip hug, she smiled at me and said the three little words I never thought she would utter in my general direction.

"Thank you, Bella."

"Uh... Who are you, and what have you done with Rose?"

And then she giggled. She motherfucking giggled.

The Purple Package, Bella. I can't thank you enough... Emmett, he... you know... was really curious and excited and stuff... and... I never thought he'd, you know... want me like that, much less want to try any of that stuff, but holy shit..."

I shook my head because I was both disgusted and mildly curious about this.

I guess I picked the right profession, yes?

"Rose, honey, I'm so glad you liked it, but I thought you hated me..."

"Oh, Bella. I did. I so did. I'm very protective of my brother, and I always had high hopes for him. He's so smart, Bella, you have no idea. And he was always kind of a geek back in the day. A lot of girls used him. And then when I found out you did... what you did, well... I kind of figured you were a money hungry slut. No offense..."

"None taken."

"But Emmett actually showed me some of the stuff you write, and I have to admit. I misjudged you. I'm sorry."

"Uh huh. Um. Okay. Apology accepted. I hope you know Edward is everything to me. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded. "Yes, I know. I just want him happy. You make him happy. I was too uptight to see that."

"Okay. So," I hedged, "What did you try? Because that was a big box."

Rose blushed. Shit, I was totally in alternate universe.

She leaned closer to me and looked around, no doubt trying to keep some level of decency.

Look around, sister. I work for a sex toy company. Leave the decency at the door.

"I was a little shy using some of the stuff in there, you know, Emmett and I don't know each other long enough, but I gotta say... the loved the Nipple Nibblers," she whispered, biting her lip.

"Wild Raspberry?"

"Buttercream Icing."

"Ah."

We talked a few minutes more and I gave her some samples to take home. And that was that.

I was off Rose's shit list.

Since then, Rose and Emmett have become my little guinea pigs whenever a new product comes out. What better research to write my splendid little product descriptions than getting reviews from people I know?

And I made sure Edward and I were trying a few things out too, much to his glee and my ever-loving self.

Which is what Edward and I were doing one Sunday afternoon in his bed.

I surprised him with a special order Wonder Woman corset and panty set that was worth every damn penny to see the look of overwhelming lust on his face.

And worth the two... no three... ah hell, I lost track of how many orgasms he'd bestowed on me.

Apparently, he had a thing for Lynda Carter when he was a kid. It was a pretty impressive trigger for him.

After passing out from sheer delicious exhaustion, I awoke a couple hours later to an empty bed and gaming sounds coming from the living room.

We've discovered that making me come makes him want to kick some ass with any of his shoot 'em up games. Sounds like today's choice is Assassin's Creed 3, which I surprised him with the other day.

I'm a good girlfriend. He made damn sure I knew it.

A buzz from my cell on the nightstand snapped me out of my post-coital haze, and when I saw who it was from, it was enough to make me panic.

Jasper. My brother.

Hey sis. Heading out to your neck of the woods for business this week. I'll be there on Wed. U free? -J

Shit.

Edward didn't know about Jasper. I mean, he knew I had a brother, I just never got around to telling him what my brother does. What if he gets mad at me for not hooking him up with him before? I mean, having a contact like Jasper could help Edward immensely. Why the hell didn't I ever tell him about Jay?

I take it back. I suck as a girlfriend.

With a heavy sigh, I reply.

That's great! There's actually someone I want you to meet. He's kind of important. I'll try and get the day off. -B

HE? Hmm... I guess it'll be time for me to bring out the big brother guns, eh? ;) -J

Shut up and don't you dare. He's a good guy. I have a feeling you'll both have a lot in common. -B

I'll be the judge of that. Love you. See you in a few days! -J

Oy. How do I tell the man I love, who happens to be a gamer and a budding game designer that my brother works for one of the top gaming companies in the country?

I might need the Super Girl corset and panty set this time to distract him.

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A/N: Nipple Nibblers actually exists. There come in different flavors. Adult toy research... the things I do for you people ;)

Here's the corset/panty set B surprised E with... RAWR. thlog wp-content / uploads / 2012 / 10 / Wonder-Woman-Corset-And-Panty-Set . jpg

Next up, PC brings us Jasper the dapper big brother. How will Edward handle B not telling him her brother had connections? Will he meet Alice? I have no friggin clue... but I have a feeling PC does, don't you bb? *nods* Til next time! Stay classy, fandom!