A/N: This is my first attempt at a real Psych story. I really don't know where this came from, but I kind of love it. The first chapter's a little rocky, but stick around and I guarantee you'll be glad for it.

I don't own the characters, just the plot.

"He doesn't trust me; he never listens; he's violent, antagonistic, combative…."

Carlton Lassiter clenched his jaw, trying to figure out how, exactly, he'd gotten himself into this mess. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor, refusing to make eye contact with either the judgmental doctor or the man seated next to him on the couch.

"Lassie, you're not even listening right now, are you?"

He knew it had started with a case.

"I'm telling you, Gus, just go with it."

"Shawn, the last time you said that, I ended up in a goat corral covered in butter."

"I can almost guarantee that won't happen again."

The two walked into the Santa Barbara police station together, Gus giving Shawn one of the glares he could only muster when he knew Shawn wasn't looking, Shawn pretending he didn't see the constipated look Gus was giving him. It had been a slow day at the office, and Shawn was bored.

He had read in the paper today that the police had a new case, something about a married couple being murdered. The details of the article had been scarce, but Shawn was almost sure he'd find something vision-worthy in the file on Lassiter's desk. As he turned off to go hunting, he let Gus continue down the hall without him, saying something about lactose intolerance.

After spending about a minute spinning in Lassiter's desk chair, he opened the file and scanned through it for anything he could use. It was thicker than he had thought, containing details on four separate couples. Crime scene descriptions, coroner's reports, victim files…. Wait a minute…. Buzz seemed to come out of nowhere as he watched Shawn flipping through the file. "Shawn? I don't think Detective Lassiter likes other people sitting in his desk chair."

"Buzz! Hey buddy! I was just going through this file Lassie gave me. He wanted me up on the details of our new case."

"Detective Lassiter brought you in on the Couple Killer case?"

"Oh my god. Who came up with that name? It's terrible!"

"Detective Lassiter did."

"Right, well, anyway, of course I'm on the case. Come on, Buzz, it's not like he would just leave the file out in the open, right?"

Buzz frowned. "I guess not."

"And who has solved every case he's ever been given?"

"Well, you have, but—."

"But what, Buzz?"

"Why would Detective Lassiter call you in on this? He doesn't really seem to like having you around."

"Buzz, come on, a smart guy like you must know that that's just an act, right? Being all grouchy and screamy like that is how Lassie let's people know he cares!"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Well, he must really like you, then."

"If he didn't, why would I constantly be working with him? He's the head detective, Buzz. If he doesn't want my help, he doesn't have to work cases with me."

McNabb nodded, smiling the smile that told Shawn he had won. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, it'd be pretty weird for him to keep agreeing to work with you if he really hated you as much as he's always saying."

Shawn nodded, thinking on the truth of the man's words. "Well, I'm late for a meeting with the chief!"

"I thought she was meeting with Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara."

"About our new case, Buzz. They can't have this meeting without me!" He pushed the file into Buzz's arms. "Do something with this for me, will you?"

Shawn walked a little way down the hall, stopping short of the open door to Chief Vick's office, waiting for his cue. He wasn't waiting long. "…that chucklehead Spencer and his dopey sidekick!"

Shawn rounded the corner a beat later, his eyes closed and his hands up to his temples. "I see a case!"

The chief sighed in that long suffering way she had. "Mr. Spencer—."

Shawn held up a hand, silencing the chief's objections. For the moment. He opened his eyes and began to speak in a loud, childlike voice. "Two by two, hands of…agh! Ring around the rosie," Shawn sang, skipping through the back of the chief's office. "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down." He threw himself against the floor and continued to scream.

Gus entered the room as Shawn rolled back and forth across the floor. "There you are, Shawn! I was talking to you for like, five minutes, before I realized you weren't following me anymore."

"I'm seeing couples, married couples, being killed at the same time and found in separate locations." Shawn was lying on his back, staring up into the cold eyes of Carlton Lassiter.

"Spencer, get off the floor!"

Shawn could barely hear the chief talking with O'Hara on the other side of the room about how the locations had never been made public, and that there was no reason for Shawn to know that the couples hadn't been found together, or that any of the murders had been related. Time to bring it home. Shawn rolled over onto his stomach, throwing himself back into a standing position. "There's something else, something strong. I need a doctor," Shawn intoned in his very best 30s gangster voice. Falling to his knees, he reached out a hand and shouted, "Run, Forrest, run!" Shawn collapsed once more onto the floor, panting wildly as Gus moved to help him up.

Shawn waited a moment to see who would take the bait. Juliet snapped her fingers. "There was a Dr. Forest listed in one of the victim files."

"Which one?" Vick snapped.

Juliet shook her head for a moment, until the memory returned. "The Hunter file."

"You mean the Gibsons," Lassiter corrected, looking over at her from his position across the room.

She shook her head. "No, it was in the Hunter file, I'm positive."

"This could be the connection we've been looking for," Vick said, something approaching a smile playing across her face. "Mr. Spencer, good work. Consider yourself on the case. Lassiter, read them in."

The head detective practically growled at the pair, but said nothing. Shawn and Gus exchanged looks of triumph. Even if he didn't quite know what was going on, which was nothing all that new, Gus knew when to take the win. They followed Lassiter out into the hallway.

When they finally caught up with the tall detective, he was already speaking. "…couples found murdered on opposite sides of the city. Coroner's report said the couples died at approximately the same time, though no one has been able to tell exactly. So far we've found four couples over the course of the last month: the Hunters, the Gibsons, the Fords and the Richardsons."

"Please tell me Keith is okay!"

Lassiter rounded on them. "This isn't a game, Spencer. This is a case."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Shawn said, patting Lassiter somewhere between the shoulder and the chest. "Murder, mayhem, the whole nine yards, got it." Lassiter growled deep in his throat, and Shawn saw his hand drifting toward the gun on his belt. "Come on, Lassie, it's still early! You can't shoot me yet." Shawn smiled wide and patted Lassiter on the back. "Let's go check out that Dr. Forest!"

"No." Lassiter stood stubbornly in the middle of the hall until Shawn and Gus returned to him.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Gus asked in bewilderment.

"I mean no, we're not going anywhere. O'Hara will check out the doctor. You two clowns are staying where I can see you while I check the files of every victim for any reference to this Dr. Forest of yours."

"And why do we need to be here for that?" Gus asked.

Lassiter smiled his most unsettling smile for them, his eyes narrowing. "I want you close by for when this cockamamie story of yours doesn't pan out, so I can tell you personally to take a hike."

"You know your problem, Lassie?" Shawn ignored the glare. "Trust issues," he informed the older man, nodding. "That, and you could really stand to loosen up." Lassiter jumped as Shawn reached up to grab his shoulders.

"Park it," Lassiter told them forcefully, pointing to the bench in the admission area. He walked over to the desk guard on duty. "If they move, shoot them." The detective stalked back to his desk across the building.

Shawn tried and failed not to laugh when Lassie started yelling about who, exactly, in the hell had been messing with the files on his desk. He hoped Buzz would at least get a head start.

Like I said, bear with me. It'll get fun.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated, especially in these early stages while I try to get everything locked down.