Insecurities can kill this relationship.

But they said it was healthy so I go on with it. I didn't fight it. I actually accepted it. It sunk in the bottomless pits of my heart. It controlled me, my insecurities became me.

And no one is noticing it….

"Are you listening to me?" Aqua said while glancing back at me.

"Hands on the wheel!" I shouted while she hastily faced in front. I sighed and looked outside the windows.

"Why don't you give it another chance? You still have a week to think it through." Her voice echoed on my mind as I leaped out of her car. I steadily walked to the hallway greeting no one -if there is someone to greet that is.

"Morning sweetie!" He greeted me while placing his arms on my shoulders. I pinched his hand to make him let go of his hold on me. "Ouch" he said.

"Could you greet me normally next time?" I begged him. It was embarrassing. I don't want anyone to see us like that.

He gave me a wide smile and stared completely at my eyes -melting my heart. "I can't. You're extremely special to me to be greeted just like anybody else." Once again, he rendered me speechless. How can someone be so romantic at a time like this?

"How many girls have heard that from you? A 100?" I said, trying to not let him know how happy I am about his comment but in my mind I was screaming, yelling, squealing and rolling on the floor.

He turned around- seemingly disappointed on my reaction and started to walk again. I shrugged it off and followed him. How childish can he be? It was just a joke. We entered the room and his swarming fan girls greeted him with 'good morning'. Their voices were so annoying but the thing that I annoyed me the most was he's actually enjoying it. I raised my head up high and went to my seat. Again, he didn't notice it. How heartless!

I opened my notebook and tried not to let anyone know I'm jealous which I'm completely am. I flipped the pages of my notebook one by one while looking at them every now and then. Then he started to move to his seat, I guess he has enough of tender, love and care from them. I smiled while his fan girls whined.

The class started after a few minutes. Same old, same old. Nothing's new. It actually felt like their decaying my brain rather than improving it. After the class, he immediately went to my seat. Finally, the love I deserved but I tried to keep it cool. I smiled and looked at him –calmly.

We've known each other since elementary.

"I HATE YOU!" I said as I stomped on his feet so hard that it could be in pieces any minute now.

"Shut up UGLY DUCKLING!" He shouted while leaping on his one foot while his hands are on the other. "You will die WITHOUT A HUSBAND." He added, crying from the pain.

"Don't say that when we both know that YOU'RE the one marrying me someday." I turned to him with a confident smile.

Those days were the days when my silly crush turned into something called "Love". People might say it was too early for me to fall in love but then again EVERYONE IS. To make the long story short we started to go out during the middle our first year in junior high- which was last year ago. That was the time I felt this kind of feeling.

"Now you have a boyfriend, you should apply makeup when going to school." My friend said to me.

"Don't wanna!" I said acting like a child. "Besides I'm okay just the way I am." I humbly said.

She sighed and grinned. "You're just saying that because Sora likes you. You think you're perfect just the way you are because someone can fall for you even in THAT state." She looked at me head to toes. "You wear our uniform incorrectly, you play with the guys and come back in sweat and dirt and to top it off you sit like no one is seeing your panties." She said lecturing me once again.

"Is that it Selphie?" I yawned and looked at my finger with a sign of being bored.

"Kairi, it's not just because you're dating. it's also because you're not acting girly. You need to mature." She tapped my shoulder and gestured to look beside the door. I saw Sora with a bunch of girls. My heart starts to beat fast. It was….. jealousy.

At first I'm not paying attention to that kind of nonsense. He deserved to hang out with girls… right? Then it starts to bug me. I felt that anyone could steal him from me and I stood no chance with those girls. They're girly, they look like a model out of a magazine and it seems that Sora was having fun.

All of those feelings built up within me. I started to change bit by bit without me noticing. I lose my boyish style. I stopped playing with the boys. I started to wear my uniform properly. I changed so much that when I looked at the mirror I can't see the red hair girl with a baseball cap, sweatshirt, shorts and sneakers. All I see is a girl with a shoulder length hair wearing a one piece dress and sandals.

It was awful.

But after months, I came to accept it. However there are still times where I wear my uniform like before- it suits me better.

"Hey!" He patted me. I sighed. Back to reality I guess.

"You know KAIRI's attire doesn't suit her doesn't she?" His fans tried to pick a fight on me again.

"I like her when she was covered in dirt and sweat LIKE A PIG." Another one his fans added.

I sighed and took my bag. I ignored it naturally. I went on my way out of the classroom when I noticed Sora is not following me. I turned to him. He was thinking.

"Now that you think about it I never see you act like that anymore. WHEN DID YOU CHANGE Kairi?" He asked obliviously.

He never noticed?

I've done so much for him yet HE DIDN'T NOTICE.

I'm like this for almost half a year yet…..

He never noticed.

I looked down and run as far as I could. I could hear them laughing on how weak I am. But those laughs can't get to me. I'm so hurt that I felt it was the greatest pain I ever encountered. My mind started to wander off. I started to think that he really didn't love me to not notice such a big change.

I HATE HIM!

"I'm glad you changed your mind." She said as I saw her reflection at the windshield- she was very happy. "You will like our dorm. It is full of interesting people. However you will just have to travel here to our hometown a lot."

"Don't worry. Enroll me at the nearest school." I said looking at the drops of the rain in the windows.

She accidentally hit the brakes from shock and looked at me. "WHAT? You love your school right?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

I need to move on. I need to move far away to completely forget him. To completely forget how much I love the person who don't share the same feelings as I do. How he didn't notice the effort I did for him to see I'm a GIRL too and I'm actually his GIRLFRIEND.

And how I'm completely hurting…. because of HIM.

It's over between us.

[Author's Notes]

I can't help it :)

I know I'm writing Weeping Lilies and it will be finish in 3 chapters. BUT STILL I want to write this badly. It is something related to my life. But not completely because I never been to a relationship. The thing that happened to me was I thought that my first love and I have a chance to being a couple THIS TIME. I thought it was my second chance with him. I actually declined his proposal on being his girlfriend even though I love him (during his first try). Reason? I'M NOT READY YET!

I know it was not like this. But after a few chapters it will :) However I'm not going to tell you my story anymore on the following author's notes. It's embarrassing. Besides it's not worth mentioning. Actually you will figure how it will end because the ending of this story is similar to mine. :) AND I DIDN'T MAKE THIS STORY BECAUSE OF THAT. I just want everyone to know a bitter PART of love.

For those who are reading Weeping Lilies, I changed my writing from THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW to FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW. It was actually easier than I thought :) I will write my stories like this from now on.

Title: No More Second Chances

Pairing: Kairi and Sora

NEXT UP: Roxas, the one who is right for me!