This is a new Mergana fanfic I'm starting! I thought of this and decided to write it. :) Sorry for the very short first chapter, but I promise they will get longer. I just needed something to start with (the part of the story I'm bad at doing). Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

DISCLAIMER: I sadly do not own Merlin. :(

Merlin didn't know what to think of life. It was definitely confusing and unfair. Arthur made sure of that ever since he stepped foot in Camelot. And now Morgana was making it a living hell for him. He never wanted to hurt her, but she left him with no choice. Yet, it was the hardest choice of his life. It pained him to put the poison in the water, to hand it over to her, to let her drink it, to see her suffocating. Merlin had held Morgana in his arms as her life force had started to drain, and all the memories flooded back. He had tried so hard to help her, but she thanked him with betrayal. He gave Morgause the poison to cure Morgana, in hopes that she would still be the sweet caring woman he had once knew.

And then Morgana came back to Camelot. Merlin wanted to believe her forgiving words, and he nearly did. But then she revealed that she had changed. The betrayals hit him like a stone to his head.

Merlin walked down the hall to Arthur's chambers as his mind went crazy with thoughts. As he started to reach Arthur's doors, he heard a loud crashing sound.

"MERLIN!" he heard the young prince yell.

"Yes, Sire?"

"What stupid object have you knocked over now?" Arthur demanded to know.

"I assure you, Sire, I have not knocked down anything." Merlin said quite confused. He walked into Arthur's room to see that a ton of stuff was knocked over and messed up. "Arthur, you should take a look at this."

Reluctantly, he strolled into the room. "What happened here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Merlin replied quietly, looking at all the mess. There was almost no doubt that Morgana did it, looking for information to help Morgause take over Camelot.

"Well, looks like you have some extra cleaning to do," Arthur said to him with a mischievous smile.

"Sire..." Merlin started to protest, but stopped, knowing it was a lost cause.

Arthur walked out of the room saying something about being done by the time he gets back. Merlin started to do his bidding.

By the time he was all done, he was exhausted. He slowly walked over to the Physician's Chamber. The second he got there, he collapsed onto his bed. Merlin took out his magic book and flipped through pages. Tired as he was, he willed himself not to sleep. No matter how hard he tried to keep his eyes from drooping, his eyelids just got heavier by the minute. Soon enough, he drifted into a deep sleep.

Merlin was standing in the Lady Morgana's chambers, being mistaken as Gwen. Then he standing by her, watching Mordred, healing him, feeling his love for Morgana increase by the second when she talked of magic. Then he was by her, hearing of her troubles, wanting to help. It was as if his times with Morgana were flashing back to him. He saw himself poisoning her, seeing her again in the forest, talking to her about the good of magic, how he understood how she felt, risking everything to heal her from the fall he had caused. Each memory brought him pain, sorrow, love, and betrayal. He felt as if everything was his fault. And it was.

Merlin never wanted to wake up. It felt so good to be by Morgana again. He could feel the love he once had for her. But he had to wake up eventually. Arthur was going to start throwing a fit when he sees him taking a nap. He thought about Arthur's room. Morgana was definitely up to something. So he woke himself up. He had to find out what Morgana was up to.

Please review! It is a proven fact that people write faster when they have reviews! And I promise the next chapter will be longer. It will be from Morgana's P.O.V.!