It was New Year's eve. Time for a new expectacy and hoping for a better life in the future. It was worth to spend our time with person we cared–person that we loved. New Year was a special time that only happened once a year, and I'd make sure it was worth the time. That's why I tried really hard to make a special present for my love. I would give the whole world for him if he asked me to, but he only asked for a nice dinner with me instead.

Only two of us. Alone.

We had been dating for four years now, and what's special about New Year? Usually I'd decide to go out with Francis and Gilbert, but not today. Not when my love was willing to spend precious time with me. And not when it was our anniversary.

"Bastard?"

"Hold on, Lovi. I'm still preparing the table."

New Year's eve was our anniversary, I remembered clearly that time I kissed him under the fireworks, held him firmly, and swore to never ever hurt him again. I asked him to be my everything, my boyfriend. To be the love of my life. I looked at him straight into his eyes, there were no emotions there. He just stared back at me. I stood there, holding him still.

Then I remembered he sniffed, tears fell down from that beautiful honey eyes, he sobbed and buried his face into my chest. I thinked that my life was ruined until Lovino nodded silently and whispering 'yes' lowly. It took time to process his word in my brain, and then it clicked my mind. He made me became the happiest person in the world. I hugged him, kissing away his tears. I felt a single teardrop running down my cheek, but it wasn't from sadness. It was from happiness.

I promised him for a date the next day, he blushed and pushing me away. I just chuckled and pecked his lips, gave him a lift to his home. After that I kissed him in front of his door, Lovino wrapped his arm around my neck and our making out session was getting caught by Lovino's father who sent me a grin.

That was the happiest moment in my life.

Being his friend was all that I ever wanted, being his lover was all that I ever dreamed.

I finished the last touch of our table, lit the candle up. I smiled widely, "Lovi, you can open your eyes now!"

Slowly he opened his eyes, he gaped at the sight. "It's... not that bad," in the darkness I could see a small smile tugging on his lips. That was all I wanted as a 'thanks a lot, Toni!'.

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Cold. Was Lovi ill? Maybe the fireplace could help him later. "Happy Anniversary and Happy New Year, Lovi~"

"Yeah. That too," Lovino rolled his eyes and took a seat. So cute. "What?"

I shook my head, grinning. "Nothing!"

I cooked us pasta with a lot of tomatoes for the sauce. Sure, pasta was Lovino's favorite food all the time beside tomato. There was a vase on the middle of table, I decorated it with red carnations and plenty of daisies. Lovino loved flowers, he was just so stubborn to admit it. Oh, how cute. I loved candle-light dinner, it was really romantic and lovely. I guessed Lovino'd not admit it, but I was pretty sure if he enjoyed our dinner.

The moon light slipping through the curtain, Lovino's skin looked glittering yet so pale under it. I wonder what happened to him. Maybe it was from the cold. "Do you want me to close the window? It's pretty cold after all."

"No. It's okay," Lovino sat silently. He didn't touch his food even his wine while I already ate half of mine. He just looked at his food and then sighed, "Hey, bastard?"

"Yes?" I looked at him worriedly, he hide his face from me but I could see his cheeks dusted pink.

"Thanks," he mumbled, now his face as red as tomato. "Stop looking at me, pervert!" he yelled–embarrassed.

"But I AM your pervert, Lovi~" I sang and Lovino burried his face into his hands.

"Shut up."

I hoped this night getting better until I heard a knock from outside. Well, an unwanted guest... or maybe two.

I groaned, not liking the time our guest came. I gave Lovino an apologetical look and walked to the front door. I had an idea who were there.

I openned the door and smiled. Not surprised, Francis and Gilbert were standing there, grinning, "Hey Toni! Let's celebrate New Year! There is a new bar at–"

"Sorry, Gil. But I'm eating with Lovi right now," I cutted him before he got annoying.

I saw Francis and Gilbert gaped, their eyes widened. They shared a look that I didn't like, and then whispering each other. I had a bad feeling about it. I hated it when they pretended Lovino like he was nothing. They congratulated me when I told them that I had Lovi became my lover, but everything changed since three years ago. They always gave me a sympathy look when I talked about Lovino, and they kept telling me thing that I hated the most.

"Seriously, mon ami," Francis sighed in frustation. "You need to forget him," he said like nothing had happened between us.

I frowned. Not liking his tone. "What was that?" I shouted, not caring about being nice now. No one said about him like that. No one could said that. Even it was my best friend who said that.

"Yeah, face it, Toni! Your ex-" I slapped Gilbert right on his face before he could finish his sentence.

"HE IS NOT MY EX!" I screamed. I didn't care if my neighbours could hear that.

I could tell Gilbert was mad, he glared back at me. "Lovino is already died! DIED! YOU NEED TO MOVE ON!" he shouted at my face.

Francis nodded slowly, he was only the one who could control his emotion now. He looked at me straight to my eyes before said, "He got an accident three years ago, Toni. He saved your life, and then he... passed–"

"LIAR!" I slammed the door shut, it was cracking a little but I didn't care. How could they said something so mean about Lovino? I heard a faint footsteps and sound of a car engine, let them go for now. I had a bad headache, my body's hurt, everything was blured. I closed my eyes, tried to focus on one thing.

Then it hit me. I saw white, someone pushed me from behind, a loud horn's sound, and then nothing. When my vision was cleared, my white shirt already tainted with red, and laying in front of me was the last thing I wanted to see in my life.

Lovino was smiling, his whole body covered in red. Beautiful yet painful. He mouthed 'I love you' to me before everything went black.

I screamed when someone put his hands on my shoulder. I looked up at him.

Lovino was there.

He was alive.

He looked at me with those worried eyes, and suddenly I pulled him close to me. I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go. "Lovilovilovilovilovi," I repeated it like it was a mantra, whispering and kissed his cheek. This was the first time I cried in front of Lovino, I didn't want to lose him.

"Lovi?" I called him. He didn't answer, just looked at me with no emotions. "Lovino?"

"What?" his voice only a whisper, but I was glad to hear it.

"I love you," I said still holding him.

Ding... Dong...

The clock already at 12. New Year. I smiled at him, a sound of fireworks echoed through the room. I leaned forward, kissed him slowly. His lips cold against mine. It tasted like icy tomato. I could feel his cold arms wrapped around my neck. His body was really cold. I didn't mind as long as he was here with me. "I love you..."

Lovino smiled a little, a single teardrop running down his pale cheek. Maybe I was dreaming. Lovino's body was half-transparent and I knew that his legs never touched the ground. He never ate the food I cooked for him for three years, and I couldn't even hear his footsteps. But he was alive. He didn't die like the liars told me. He was there, in my arms, leaned to my hug. "Me too, retard... me too..."

You must know how hard I tried to write this. I'm sorry if there are a LOT of grammatical errors, English isn't my first language. :'( I feel bad for making Lovino died in this one... but it's my early New Year present for all of you since I don't celebrate Christmas~ Have a nice holiday! :)