It was another global meeting.

Canada was sitting quietly, not being noticed (as usual); France was in the process of stripping, and trying to get England to do the same; England was trying his best to evade him and sincerely hoping France wouldn't start dancing on the table; America was gorging on hamburgers; Italy was eating pasta; Japan was sensing the mood and refraining from speaking; Spain and Greece were sleeping; and Germany was twitching.

"Alright! Is everyone here?" Germany thundered.

England, glad for a reason to ignore France, signaled to his assistant to start attendance.

"Poland?"

"…What?"

"England?"

"Get France away from me!"

"France?"

"Ah, you look lovely, mon amor."

"Canada?"

"Here."

"China?"

"Ai ya!"

"Russia?"

"Here."

"America?"

"Your hero has arrived!"

"Italy?"

"Pasta!"

"Greece?"

Snore...

As England's assistant continued on, England drew pictures of his imaginary friends on his paper, France (still unclothed) tended to his hair, Italy chanted "pas-ta, pas-ta, pas- ta," under his breath, Canada wondered what he could do to get noticed, Greece and Spain slept more, Poland spaced out, China pet his panda, Russia wondered what the best way to avoid Belarus was, Japan puzzled over Western culture, and America ate more hamburgers.

Suddenly, noises were heard outside.

Thump!

"Nevada! Get off me!"

"Sorry!"

"Crushing…..me…"

"No one cares, New Mexico."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Arizona."

"Why thank you, Nevada."

"Can we hurry up, please?"

"Fine. Jeez, calm down."

America paled.

Japan, curious, stood up and opened the door.

Two girls and a boy stood there.

The three looked alike, with sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and a light tan.

The first girl had a brown bomber jacket over a light blue collared shirt and a brown pleated skirt. She had on tall boots, too, and glasses like America's, and looked to be thirteen.

The boy had on a tee-shirt with jeans and a very simple leather jacket and converse high-tops, and seemed the same age as the first girl.

The second girl had a black aviator jacket zipped up over a gray pleated skirt. A silvery scarf was draped around her neck, and aviator goggles were perched on her head. She looked about fifteen.

America seemed to know who they were. He was choking on his hamburger.

The girls exchanged a look.

"It was New Mexico's fault!" they proclaimed in unison.

"What? No, it wasn't!" the boy protested.

Aviator jacket clicked her tongue sadly.

"Denial!" she sang.

"Shut up, Nevada," he grumbled.

Nevada hit him.

"Arizona…," he whined.

Arizona rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Mex, she does that every day. You'd think you'd get used to it."

America finally managed to swallow his hamburger.

"Ari, Neva, what's going on?"

Arizona tactfully changed the subject. "Why do you assume it's us who come up with all the plans? Why not New Mexico?"

"Because New Mexico never wants any thing to do with your plans. You drag him along anyway. Now answer my question."

"….Well, we wanted to tell you that you forgot your speech. Then Texas brought it to you, but we were bored, so we kept going, and then New Mexico tried to stop us, so we may or may not have drugged him, and why does that man have no clothes on?"

She said this all very fast, without taking a breath.

New Mexico tried to edge out of the doorway, but Nevada grabbed his ear to prevent him from leaving.

America, clearly exasperated, asked another question, sounding mildly afraid of the answer.

"How did you get past the security guards?"

"What do you mean?" Nevada asked innocently.

"The security guards. Dude, if I'm not mistaken, you and Arizona are outfitted with more explosives than Russia during the cold war."

"I thought that was impossible," chimed in Germany curiously.

"I did too, until I saw them get mad at Mexico. Carnage, man."

"Guards? Oh, you mean the charming gentlemen out front? We just slipped them some sleeping gas and climbed in through the window. In fact, they should be waking up right about-"

A variety of curse words and loud noises came from down the hall.

"Busted," hissed New Mexico.

Arizona and Nevada rolled their eyes and hit New Mexico upside the head, perfectly in sync, as if they had done the same thing many times before.

"Let's go," Arizona said in a business like manner.

After the three had left, the nations turned to America for an explanation. He ignored them, instead dialing a number on his phone.

"Hey, D.C.? You know Ari, Neva, and Mex are here?"

Several voices could be heard on the other line.

"Okay, right. Rundown, please?"

One voice was audible to everyone in the room. "Cal's in her state, Ari locked her brothers in a closet, nothing new, Hawaii's asleep,-GEORGE HELP ME, MAINE, IF YOU TEASE MONTANA ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T STOP HIM FROM HURTING YOU-Alaska and Tennessee are having a drinking contest, and everyone else is here. I think. "

"Dude, Arina is, like, six. Yes, I know, she can out drink anyone-"

The voice on the other end muttered something.

"I don't care if a senator bet on her, I told you to keep her away from the vodka. Right, talk to you later. Love you."

France wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Love?"

America rolled his eyes. "Washington D.C. is my son, dude."

England paled. "S-son?"

America beamed. "Yup. My little capitol can calm even Kansas down."

"I think you owe us an explanation," Germany said wearily.

America smiled cheerily. "Well, I have fifty kids at my house. If you want to get technical, I have more, but the native nations consider themselves, like, nieces and nephews, and the other territories don't stay with us. I think they fear for their health, and I don't blame them, what with Ari, Cal, Neva, and all their explosives."

At the announcement America had fifty kids, most nations paled, passed out, or wondered how the heck he had so many children.

"Well, biologically speaking, they aren't mine, but still. It's kinda complicated for some of 'em, cause, like, Hawaii's mother was a country, and I guess Alaska's biological dad is Russia-" he made a face "-and Nevada, Arizona, Texas, California, Utah, and most of Colorado-we're still not sure how that worked out-were taken care of by Mexico, until Texas rebelled."

Mexico made a face and mumbled about ungrateful brats who had no idea what he'd done for them.

"But yeah, so, like, they're my kids now, and while most of them can take care of themselves, Delaware holds a grudge like you wouldn't believe if you mess with his younger siblings, and Arizona sees it as her responsibility to take care of her younger siblings and New Mexico. And man, can she fight. And I don't take crap from anyone when it comes to them."

Suddenly the bubbly American looked very intimidating.

A loud boom and the cackles of a madwoman reached them from down the hall.

Arizona and Nevada reached the door, dragging an unconscious New Mexico between them.

"Um, will he be okay?" Japan asked hesitantly.

Nevada waved a hand dismissively. "He'll be fine. Happens all the time."

"Arizona," America said sternly, "Did you lock Utah and Colorado in a closet again?"

Arizona made a sour face. "They were separate closets. Besides, they were being jerks."

"You still shouldn't do it. Anyway, aren't you three gonna go soon?"

New Mexico made an injured face as he stirred. "When we haven't even introduced ourselves properly?"

America sighed. "Remember when you were the rational one?"

"Anyway, I'm José Jones, personification of New Mexico, forty-seventh state, third of the four corner states. By the way, how did I get knocked out?"

"Because you were an idiot who forgot to duck when I threw that rock. Roxanne Jones, but call me Roxy if you must. Personification of Arizona, forty-eighth state, fourth of the four corner states. If you mix me up with any of my idiot brothers, I will quite probably strangle you."

"Nevada Jones, personification of Nevada, thirty-sixth state."

America, Arizona, and New Mexico looked at her expectantly.

She scowled. "Okay, my name is actually Esperanza Jones. But if your idiot of a father named you Esperanza, you would lie about your name too. Besides, Arizona has a higher Hispanic population than I do, and she gets a perfectly fine name."

"It's a lovely name. Anyway, we've been having this arguement for seventy years."

Arizona cut in. "Let's please not start this again."

Nevada shot her a dirty look.

"Last time you had this fight, you started speaking Spanish and couldn't revert back to English. It took me, Texas, Penny, and Massachusetts to calm you down. Granted, it would've been easier if Penny and Massachusetts hadn't helped, but still."

Someone's phone went off, playing American Idiot loudly.

Arizona held up a finger. "I'd better take this. Yes,my darling idiot of a brother?"

Loud yelling came through on the phone. "Can't, Colorado. I'm kinda in a foreign country right now."

Colorado sounded curious, though no one could make out his words.

"I have the right to remain silent. Bye." Arizona ended the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket.

"Actually, Ari, we're in a foreign country. I'm not sure you actually do have that right," New Mexico noted.

She made a face. "I'm still not calling Colorado back."

America frowned. "Remind me again why you hate Colorado so much."

"He's a fucking bastardo! Just because he's the oldest of the four of us doesn't mean he can tell me what to do!"

New Mexico rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's probably because you two have such different landscapes."

Arizona's eye twitched. "Cierra la boca antes de que asar el culo lo siento!"

America frowned at her. "Arizona. Idioma."

Spain blinked. "You...you speak Spanish?"

America nodded. "I can speak a lot of different languages, dude. Partially because America's got, like, a gazillon different language speakers, and the rest I learned from the states."

After America announced he had fifty kids, most of the nations had gone into shock. England had passed out, not that anyone seemed to care.

Germany was the first to fully recover. "Well, I think someone will have to meet all these states. We will send a representitive. Any volunteers?"

Russia immediatly raised his hand. "I will do it, da?"

Every nation shuddered. Poor children.

"I've got a better idea. How about England, non?" suggested France.

England didn't protest, probably because he was unconsioucs.

Germany nodded. "Fine. America, England will come by in two days."

"Hey! What about Mattie's kids?"

"Who?"

"Canadia. Mathew Williams. You know, my brother?"

"It's Canada, Al," a quiet voice said.

Nevada gave a huge grin. "Uncle Mattie's here?"

New Mexico gave her a strange look. "He's a country, isn't he?"

She ignored him, running to give Canada a hug.

"How've you been? My housing market's still in the crapper, and so is everyone's economy, except Cal's-I have no idea how she does it-but that's nothing new, so how're you?"

"I'm fine..."

"Wait, isn't Nevada a southwestern state?"

"Yeah, but she visited Uncle Mattie with Michigan and Wisconsin once. She's been obsessed with snow ever since, even though she's a desert state."

There was a minute of silence as everyone watched Nevada yammer away in Canada's ear, with the latter being a mix of amusement and discomfort.

'Anyway, the meeting's over, right?" asked Arizona.

Germany looked around. None of the nations seemed capable of accomplishing anything.

"I guess so," he sighed.

"Cool!" America cheered.

Arizona grabbed Nevada's arm and dragged her away from Canada.

America stood up and followed his three children out.

"Dibs on flying!"

"Nevada, last time you flew, you nearly gave Wisconsin a heart attack."

"Ah, but Wisconsin isn't here, is she?"

"That's beside the point."

"I'm still flying, Dad."

...

France stooped to revive England.

"Wake up, Angleterre."

The British man slowly opened his eyes. "W-what's going on?" he slurred. "I swear I haven't been drinking."

"Non, of course you haven't. You simply are going to interview and get to know America's children in two days time."

France left the room so fast, you could only see a blur, which disappointed England. Now he had noone to yell and vent his frustrations on.

Darn.