Chapter 36 – Sakura & Allendra

Time & Again – The King of Fukkatsu

'Inner Refection.'

Things had changed since the last time I had been here. Like a cloud hovering in front of the sun casting a grey shadow over the mountain, the temple had been struggling to survive. People had been challenging the will of their God in the face of Jacousta and Draven's tyranny. But now like a sleeping garden, the temple had come back to life – the cloud moved on.

I stepped off the river barge and looked up to the skyline as the dirt road led up to the temple in the distance. The hills were greener and wild flowers bloomed on the side of the road despite the changing season. As the welcoming wind blew across my face I felt like I was home.

I took my time walking up to the temple, savoring the freedom of new discovery. This time I would be the one to decide my fate. Not Allous, not Li and not anyone else. If I were to return to the castle, then that would be my decision. If I was to return to the future – that would be my decision as well.

I passed villagers and pilgrimages alike as I made my way up the sloping pathway. I nodded in greeting as they passed. I took note of the offerings being carried on the backs of villagers and smiled to myself seeing that that too had improved. Like a well oiled wheel the temple and the surrounding area seemed to be working in harmony once more.

Feeling puffed I stopped on the side of the pathway and let others pass me by. I could feel the blood pumping beneath the surface, my face flushed as the breeze cooled me down. Like the temple I had changed too. My strength was slowly coming back but as with everyone that faced the ravages of time – I hadn't been left unchanged and I seemed to move a little less spryly than I did several years ago.

Looking up at the mountain I watched the wind ripple the green grass and smiled as the sunlight seemed to dance through the grass. It was like watching slender fingers sliding through supple fur.

Further ahead of me I watched as an old man led a small pack horse up the path while his young companion started playing a hauntingly beautiful tune on a Hocchiku while he sat on the back of the pack horse. As they passed men wearing sugegasa hats dipped them in greeting.

Feeling refreshed, I continued up the dusty path and before I knew it I too was in the court yard of the temple. People were tying their mounts to the posts and organizing their offerings as I stepped into the shaded receiving area.

The strong smell of incense greeted me and like a balm to the soul I breathed it in deep. At the purification fountain I dipped the ladle into the water and washed both my hands before stepping aside for the others to begin their purification. I made my way into the offering hall and laid a small pouch of money on the table before calmly making my way into the prayer room.

Through the sweet fog of the incense I looked up at the shadowed alter where candles burnt brightly. Stepping forward into the room full of people praying I bowed, clapped my hands and then sank gracefully to my knees and bowed my head as I prayed.

I lost myself deep into my thoughts; I didn't hear nor see the other travelers come and go. I lost all trace of time as I sunk deep into the place that I had been taught so long ago to find when searching the answers in one's heart and mind.

Sunk so deep in my conscience I found myself in a comforting darkness. But as quickly as I found it the darkness was forced back into shadow as a bright, golden circle started to appear. My thoughts almost too erratic to separate and make sense of, I watched as Tori's face flashed before my eyes and a bright point appeared inside the circle. I watched fascinated as the line was drawn and Julian's face, followed closely by Oswaine then Kane's and lastly Layla's appeared. When it was done there was a five pointed star inside the golden circle.

Before I could even begin to wonder at its meaning a sun appeared with my father's essence beating at its heart while a moon formed and I could feel Li's presence reaching out to me. Lines connected to so many people flashed and formed inside the circle until it was complete and my breath caught at the beauty of what I was seeing.

I was reaching out to grasp that otherworldly magic when I was jerked harshly from the vision by a voice beside me.

" Excuse me, miss are you ok? "

" Huh? " I blinked several times to clear my eyes.

" I asked if you were ok? " a young woman dressed in the clothes of an acolyte asked.

I brushed away the hair on my forehead as I tried to grasp desperately onto the last tendrils of the vision. " Yes I am fine. Thank you. "

" It was just that you haven't moved for so long that the others were starting to worry but – " she stopped and stared hard for several minutes. " You bare the mark of our Lady. But that could only mean… " her eyes widened and she gasped. " May the Goddess be forever merciful! Usako get Allendra! The Chosen has returned! " she called excitedly over her shoulder.

" That isn't necessary, please. " I begged but it was useless. The young woman excitedly held out her hands and helped lift me to my feet; wobbling as circulation was restored to my limbs. I was led passed the staring eyes of travelers and excited acolytes who had heard her outburst and before I knew it, I was standing inside a beautifully decorated room while I waited for Allendra to arrive.

" I was just a child when you were here last my Lady. " the acolyte gushed excitedly as she smiled at me. " There are so many stories about you. I can't believe that I get the chance to meet you once more. " her eyes were alight with happiness.

" Er – and your name is? " I asked awkwardly.

"Yōkina my lady. I am honored to serve you in any way. " she replied bowing her head gracefully.

" Yes well, I am sure that won't be necessary. " Could the ground please just open up and swallow me?

"Yōkina are you bothering The Chosen? " the stern voice came from the entrance of the room. We both jumped and looked at Allendra as she stood in the doorway hidden by shadow.

" No Allendra I was just – "

" She was just telling me that she remembered me from when she was a child. " I replied smiling ruefully. From the way Allendra's eyes slightly narrowed I knew I hadn't managed to hide my discomfort from her. She knew that I didn't like being the center of attention and even though she couldn't quite understand it – she respected it.

I watched as Allendra thanked Yōkina and sent her on her way. Yōkina glanced at me once more before she hurried from the room and I couldn't help the feeling that I had just kicked a puppy. I could never really understand the hero worship whenever the young ones looked at me. Yes I had been in battles that shaped this country and that bards sung about, but to me I had no more shaped this land than a man armed with a small trowel.

I glanced back into the shadows and met Allendra's gaze. What does she see when she looks at me?

" So you have come. " she began as she moved into the room. The candle light revealed a tall, proud and graceful woman.

" I have come. " I replied softly trying to smile. Allendra shifted slightly like she wanted to come closer but froze and I frowned puzzled at her hesitation. " Have I come at a bad time? "

" No " Allendra replied but there was no warmth in her response. We stared at one another for a moment and then Allendra ran her hands down the front of her gown nervously. " I had heard rumors that you had returned but I wasn't certain if should believe it. "

Then it hit me. With everything that had happened since my return, I had forgotten that Allendra and I had not seen one another since Hektabah had cursed me and sent me back to the future.

" It is not like you to doubt what your instincts tell you. " I replied softly, chidingly.

" In most things I don't. But I have learnt that you cannot always believe what you feel. "

" Allendra – " I stepped forward wanting to wipe that sad, yet uncertain look off her face but unsure how to accomplish such a thing. " In truth I came here seeking your help and friendship but I must be honest and admit that I am unsure how to proceed when you look at me like I am a stranger. "

" You have been gone a long time. " she replied softly.

There was so much that wanted and needed to be said; the words flying on invisible threads around us, moving too quickly to pick just one and begin. My hands clenched at my sides and I felt the frustration build up inside me. How to fix this?!

" You look tired. " Allendra suddenly spoke drawing my gaze. " I can arrange a room if you are wanting to stay? "

" I'm sorry! " The words out before I knew I was going to say them. The room was silent except the flickering of the candles.

Allendra blinked and looked as surprised as I felt at my sudden outburst. She opened her mouth but I cut her off before she could say anything. " I should have sent word that I had returned a lot sooner than this but there has been so much happening and before I knew it – " I sucked in a breath and made myself meet her startled gaze.

" In all these years I have wished that I could have known what Hektabah was up to so that I could have warned you, but I was foolish and fell for her charm and kindness. I have wasted many years blaming myself and yes, even Allous for what happened. It has taken a long time to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing that I nor anyone else could have done to prevent what Hektabah did to me.

" I am sorry if my coming here has upset you. I don't know what happened after I was sent back; I came here thinking that our friendship was the same as it was all those years ago. Believe me I am sorry. " I finished softly looking away.

" How could you blame yourself? " Allendra asked after the silence became heavy once more. She lowered her head slightly and pinned me with her gaze when I opened my mouth to speak.

" It was myself who introduced the two of you. I, who brought her into the home of the Great Wolf. The ramifications of my actions have caused a rift between one great culture and the other, separating our people and causing conflict where none should exist. Because of my ignorance I have caused great pain to many people. "

" Allendra - "

" Please, " she held up her hand for silence and bitterness entered her eyes. " Let me finish. It is I who owes you an apology. Whatever punishment you deem necessary I will accept. I have prayed for this day so that I could make amends. It is the least I can do. "

I stood there in that shadowed room and realized that there had been more victims to Hektabah's scheme that day other than Li and myself. Here was a woman who had guided me, taught me everything that I knew with such passion and conviction in her faith that I hardly recognized the woman before me who doubted everything that she was and stood for. My scars were on the outside but hers where hidden deep within.

" So you want retribution for your part in Hektabah's deception? " I asked. Allendra tensed and the nodded slowly, unsure. " Your punishment then is forgiveness. " I replied calmly and watched as Allendra frowned in confusion. " I am afraid that you are stuck with me as a friend – that is, " I swallowed nervously. " If you will accept me as your friend still? "

" But that – " Allendra began.

" Sorry that's the deal. " I shrugged my smile a little wobbly. " Take it or leave it. " When she continued to stare at me in bewilderment, I crossed the room and held out my hand to her smiling. " Well? "

I watched as she gingerly held out her hand towards my own, but it was shaking. I gripped it firmly and shook her hand. Then before my eyes her eyes glistened and tears started to slip slowly down her face; then we were hugging and crying at the same time.

When we pulled apart it was like seven years just melted away. We were older and more cynical of the world around us, but we were friends once more. We sat down and filled in the missing years with tea, gossip and stories of what had happened since Hektabah had played her hand.

I was disturbed to learn that in the days following my disappearance, the back lash of Hektabah's betrayal had all but cleaved Fukkatsu from The Midmoon Mountains. Li had never mentioned what had happened and I had never asked but Li, full of grief, had embraced his anger and directed it at Allendra and all but banished her from his land.

She hadn't been back since.

I stared into the dregs of tea in the bottom of my cup as Allendra's words tapered off into the silence. My brain raced with thoughts that belonged to a future world. People who believed they were being suppressed especially with their beliefs tended to rise up in outrage and war was eminent. For a country that had already been devastated by one war, it didn't need another.

Thinking of the things that Suboshi had already mentioned, it was enough for myself to become concerned.

I looked up when Allendra spoke. " I am surprised that your Wolf isn't here. He usually tends to be wherever you are "

" Not this time. " I replied somewhat snarly; yes I could be snarly if I wanted. In fact the whole situation with The Wolf required me to snarl. It was either that or cry and I refused to do the latter.

" What has happened? "

" With all respect, " I sat the tea cup down and shifted in my seat. " I don't particular want to discuss that subject at present. But I can assure you that you will only have to put up with me this visit. Is that room still available? "

Eyes slightly narrowed Allendra watched me before replying. " Of course. We are in the middle of preparations for the Winter Solstice so things are going to be a bit chaotic around here. Your help would be appreciated. "

" Naturally I will work for my keep. " I inclined my head in agreement.

" I do not expect you to pay for your keep Sakura. But your gathering experience and knowledge of the rituals will serve. I would appreciate your help. " Allendra replied. " We are low on herbs for the Solstice night, stalls need to be built for those who travel this way to sell their wares and we need more hands than what we have. Your visit, regardless of the circumstances, is a
blessing. "

" Then it is settled. " Sakura put the cup down on the table and smiled. " Show me my room if you please, and then I will get straight into what needs to be done. "

Allendra met my eyes for a moment and I could see the questions she was itching to ask but when I failed to say anything more, she inclined her head and led me out of the room. After showing me the room in which I was welcome to stay, we headed on down the hall where Allendra began to fill me in on what I could begin to help with.

So we collected herbs for the temple, for the seasoning of the food and around the festival site. A small group of men of all ages had come from the nearby villages to help build stalls for merchants to sell their wares, while the young ones ran around the forest gathering fire wood for the bon fire on the night.

As the days passed, I found myself going further and further into the forest to be alone. My thoughts churned with anger and sadness and within the chaos I was alone. Thoughts of Li and Suboshi swirled around and around inside my head and within moments like these, I was ready to scream in frustration. Suboshi meant nothing to me. That revelation coming to me within the solitude of the forest where I could finally think. I knew this, but my body betrayed me with the nervous fluttering every time I thought about the kiss.

Li, it would seem, was the problem. His reaction to witnessing Suboshi kissing me was uncalled for. The anger and resentment towards me hurt. The way he acted was like he believed I had purposely run away to hurt him and that was what confused me.

Yes I act impulsively, yes I tend to end up in situations that could be avoided but that is who I am. I follow my heart and if someone or something needs help I am there. Li knows this but why – why did he -?

Throwing my basket down on the ground I sat down on a fallen log and cursed men to hell and back.

Meanwhile….

The production at the Taoko Farms was going along well. As Li looked over all the reports and spoke with the men and women tending them he was relieved that something seemed to be going well. They would at least be able to start transporting some of the produce to the areas that were still struggling and hopefully with any luck, many more would be able to make it through the colder months.

His head throbbed as it had for the last several days and desperate to ignore it, he pushed on with the work around him. But it wasn't so simple. He kept seeing that bastard leaning down over Sakura and kissing her like he had a damn right to. His hands clenched and his headache bit at him and he swore as he tried to get passed it all.

But he couldn't.

His damn heart felt like it had been stomped on and his temper didn't help. Why would Sakura encourage another when she knew that he was wanting to claim her for his own! How could she look at him wounded and hurt as if she had no idea why he wanted to tear that bastard's head off?

He had come here to get away from her and the chaos inside his head so he could think but that wasn't going to happen. He paused reaching for the pitcher of water next to him when he heard the horse galloping up the dirt road into the farm.

He heard a greeting called out and then footsteps heading towards him where he had made space for himself inside a small shed and looked up as a messenger stepped into the light and bowed deeply.

" My lord I was sent here with a message for you. " he promptly held out the missive and waited until Li had accepted before speaking once more. " I will water my horse while I wait to see if you wish to reply. " he bowed once more and then turned and walked away to tend to his horse.

Li opened the note and read the short note from Oswaine and then started to read the letter underneath. He got to the end and then tipped his head back and sighed wearily. Sakura' s note, found back in her room according to Oswaine, stated she had gone to clear her head at the Temple; she made sure to point out that where she was going less he think that she had run off to be with another stranger. She didn't know when she would be returning.

Li swore under his breath and then rubbed the back of his neck trying to ease the tension there. How the hell had their relationship taken such a bad turn? He was meant to be working his way up to asking her to stay with him for the rest of their lives, but instead it looked like he was losing her.

The bastard's face leaning down over her flashed into his head once more and he jumped up with a vile curse. He stormed outside and waved towards the messenger.

" Give me a minute and I will ride back with you. "

Allendra stood in the open hallway that looked out into the gardens beneath, the cool wind teasing her hair. Beneath her, acolytes and volunteers were busy with getting everything ready for the Solstice in just over a week. Help was hard and far to find, that's why work was slow but she wouldn't begrudge those that came to help every year. Sometimes if they were particularly lucky pilgrims that travelled to the temple would stop for a few extra days and help. But since the break with Fukkatsu, they were getting less and less travelers and willing help each year.

But the festival would go on regardless for this year she had much to be thankful for.

Her gaze shifted and locked onto a honey haired, emerald eyed woman who was walking into the forest and her gaze narrowed slightly. While she was eternally thankful for the forgiveness that Sakura had bestowed upon her so honestly, Allendra knew something was troubling the young woman. Allendra had tried broaching the subject with her and was shut out though it was given with a small smile. Clearly something had happened and Sakura didn't want Allendra to know.

What troubled her more was that she couldn't shake the feeling that that something was someone. She watched Sakura disappear once more into the forest and hoped that whatever Sakura was looking for came swiftly to her. Allendra had seen the same lost and confused look in her own eyes many a time to recognize it.

Shivering in the sudden wind, Allendra hurried on to her chores.

The sunlight filtered down through the trees and Sakura sat up and looked at the scene before her and then looked down at the sketch in her lap. Beside her was a small pile of sketches that she hoped would sell at the Solstice festival. She hoped that if it became known that they were drawn by the 'Chosen' that it would bring a few extra coin for the temple. It was shameless endorsement but if it helped the temple she could live with it. At worst, she could always add them to the sacred bonfire.

She finished the small sketch and sat it with the others, setting the small stone on top as a paper weight. The wind shifted and tangled with her hair and brought with it the sounds of the hammering and construction, the raised voices of the people visiting the temple and the laughter of the acolytes as they played with young children in the sun.

She sighed and looked down at her vellum and stared a moment before she softly cursed at the outline of the Wolf. Without thought her hands shifted and flowed and within moments intense, soul-drawing eyes stared back at her. Her heart fluttered and she cursed and looked up to the sky. She paused to draw a deep breath and closed her eyes to try and find some semblance of peace.

All around her the leaves rustled in the soft wind, birds sang and other creatures rustled in the underbrush. Above her the fluffy, white clouds drifted past leisurely.

But peace alluded her.

Sighing regrettably, she opened her eyes, the emerald dark green reflecting the bright sky above before she gathered her sketches and rose to her feet. She put everything into her small satchel and settled it back into place before she turned and headed back to temple.

" Ah you are back. "

Sakura looked up as she placed her satchel on the small table in the room and met Allendra's gaze as she stood in the doorway. " You have need of me? "

" More like I was hoping you would spare a moment this afternoon to sit with me in the garden and enjoy afternoon tea with me. " Allendra asked, eyebrows arched in question.

" I can do that. " Sakura smiled as she pulled the sketches out and sat them down.

" What are those? " Allendra asked as she reached out and picked them up.

" They – " Sakura jerked as she tried to reach for them but Allendra was sifting through them murmuring in surprise. Sighing she reluctantly explained what she wanted to do with them.

" You would do that for us? " Her eyes widened in surprise.

" Allendra any way that I can help, I will. "

" I thank you on behalf of all of us. " Allendra replied softly.

Sakura sighed and shook her head. " Please don't thank me. They may end up lighting the bonfire yet. "

" That may be but I think you will be wrong. " she murmured frowning as she flipped through the pages once more.

" Something wrong? " Sakura asked pausing in the process of removing her cloak.

Allendra stopped looking at the sketches and looked up and met her gaze. " When you came here a few days ago you were deeply troubled and you didn't want to talk about what ailed you. I respect that – " she held up her hand when Sakura went to cut in. " But I would be remiss in my duties as High Priestess and as a friend if I didn't ask you once more what has happened to bring you back here again? "

When Sakura met her gaze stubbornly Allendra sighed. She walked forward and gently placed the sketches down on the small table beside them so that they were fanned out. " There is a wound that is obviously festering and you need to do something about it. " she indicated the sketches that showed battles of blood and death, dark eyes and devastation.

" You think that – " Sakura began and then barked out a choked laugh. " What do people want to buy when it comes to souvenirs? It isn't pictures of flowers and mundane things it is of what shaped this land. I want to make money for this temple nothing more. What better way to do that than by showing them the memories that they have only ever heard about but not seen? "

" You can claim to know what people want Sakura, " Allendra began stepping closer. " But what about what you want? " she shifted the pages and dark, tortured eyes stared up at the both of them. " Or what you need? "

Sakura's sucked in a gasp her eyes wide. Allendra smiled sadly and patted her friend on the shoulder. " I will be in the garden in half an hour. I hope you join me. " When Sakura nodded slightly Allendra sighed and stepped back. " I would still be honored to have those to sell if you don't destroy them beforehand. Blessed be Sakura. " she turned and walked out the room.

Half an Hour Later…

It was getting late in the season but there were still a few blooms that were determined to perfume the cool air. The stone bench was still warm from the sun and Allendra tipped her head back and let the breeze and the sun work their magic on her frazzled nerves.

On the outside she was calm but inside her emotions churned. A few days and her world had been tipped upside down once more. She breathed in deep and held it before slowly letting it out. She opened her eyes and watched the clouds drift by.

Allous I sit here in your garden and I stare at your creations and I try to find comfort and peace but my mind is conflicted. I knew to expect fewer patrons to our festivals this year and the ones that have come before. I accepted that as I accepted my failure in what happened all those years ago. Failure is to be expected as none are perfect but….

Allendra stared at the young acolytes that sat together in small groups laughing as they did their studies as well as others that like her, seemed to want calm before the storm picked up again and preparations became chaotic.

I know that I have been shrouded in darkness these last several years and I know that most of that was my own doing. I recognize and accept that as another failure but one that I know I must have gone through to reach this point in time where forgiveness is given.

Allous I have prayed and prayed to you for redemption and yes I have cursed and screamed at you in my darkest hours. The simplest of teachings is that there are no coincidences, only inevitabilities. If that is so, then that means our lives are already mapped out for us and we must simply walk the path that is before us. But then how can free choice be made?

I know that your Chosen is made of something I am not and thus her actions are dissimilar to my own. Her words and actions are like a ripple in a pond and without them we are all stagnant.

" Your tea is ready Allendra. " a soft voice murmured to her left and Allendra turned to see one of the acolytes smiling at her.

Such a warm and simple smile but not simple in the emotions it stirs. Such kindness brings joy and peace and begets friendships that can last a life time. I see that when I see Sakura while she works with everyone. One small ripple that can span oceans.

" Thank you Meiko. " Allendra smiled as she accepted the cup of steaming tea.

" You are most welcome Allendra. " Meiko replied smiling brightly as she sat the tea pot down next to her. " Is the Chosen not joining you this afternoon? " her smile faded and was replaced by a worried frown.

" I had hoped that she would but perhaps she is held up. " Allendra replied casually.

" It is indeed a blessing that the Chosen has returned to us. Surely it is a sign from our Divine Lady, Allous herself! " Meiko gushed, happiness tinging her cheeks.

Allous I have received forgiveness and I cannot hide the relief and the happiness that it brings. Light once more reaches me in the darkness where I hide; with that forgiveness I must ask - no must beg, for yours. Please forgive this stupid daughter who thought she was sworn to you in all things. To follow faithfully and without question. I did not turn from you but I hid hoping you could not see me for the atrocity that I committed against your own.

Please I beg you to let your warmth and love reach down and touch me once more. I am scared and cold Allous and now there is one who needs me more than ever.

"Yes I believe that it is a blessing that Sakura is here amongst us once more. "

" She seems rather sad to me. " Meiko replied and then blushed. "Forgive me High Priestess! I did not mean to be so rude. "

" Do not fret so my dear. " Allendra replied with a sad smile of her own. " As a priestess it is our responsibility to those that we serve to notice such things. But we must not be judgmental either nor assume. "

" I do hope that it isn't something too troubling. " Meiko stated softly watching the others laugh and study. " So that she may smile and be full of life like before. " she smiled when Allendra blinked in surprise.

" I am sure that whatever is troubling our Chosen it will sort itself out sooner rather than later. " Allendra replied sipping the hot tea.

" I hope so. " Meiko replied standing up and clasping the small tray that the teapot and cup had been on. " Because I cannot help but feel that a bad omen is on its way when she looks like that. " she bowed and walked quickly away.

Is that it Allous? Is that what troubles her? I could have sworn that it was the Wolf King that was putting that look on her face but no, I must not assume. But how can I dismiss it when my heart tells me that it is so? That something has happened between the two to cause conflict.

Oh please Allous do not let it be another vision that you have bestowed upon her that causes such grief. Has she not suffered enough?

" May I still join you? " came a soft voice and Allendra jerked in surprise to see Sakura standing beside her.

" You came. "

" You did invite me. "

" Yes but I thought – "

" That I wouldn't come because you tried to pry? " Sakura asked as she sat down. Allendra nodded jerkily. " Truth is I thought about not coming. " she smiled tiredly at Allendra before looking ahead to the garden. " But you were right. I came here for a reason and part of that reason was because I needed to think and clear my head. "

" I… see…. " Allendra stared down at her reflection in the cup.

" I owe you an apology. " The wind pulled at her hair and Sakura pushed the strands away and closed her eyes as the breeze danced across her face. " I came here to hide and to lick my wounds so to speak. "

Her emerald eyes pinned Allendra's gaze as she continued to speak. " I had forgotten about the past and that I have not seen you since Hektabah. " She ignored Allendra's wince. " I came barging in here hoping that I could pick up where I left off and not take into account your feelings or whether or not you wanted me here. "

" I – " Allendra began.

" I owe you an apology because I shut you out when you tried to help. I used the idea of what people would want to try and ignore what has been on my mind. Thinking about it all made me realize that after everything that has happened, me shutting you out would be like a slap in the face and that I haven't forgiven you at all and I can't have that. " Sakura stated vehemently.

" I – "

" I am sorry Allendra. So much has happened since I last saw you and I don't know where I end or begin anymore. " Emerald eyes flashed with pain. " Have you ever been so lost and confused that you don't know what to do anymore? "

Allendra let out a strangled laugh. " That has been my life for the last seven years. "

Sakura sucked in a deep breath while her eyes seemed to search for the answers that she sought in Allendra's tortured gaze. In the end her shoulders slumped and she ran her hands through her hair before she hung her head as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

" There is so much to be sorry for. "

" Have you forgotten it was I that – " Allendra began before Sakura cut her off.

" I am not talking about that and besides I told you that there is nothing that you need to feel sorry for. Nothing at all. "

" What about ashamed? " Allendra asked quietly and Sakura's head whipped around and stared at her in shock.

" Allendra….. " she breathed in horror.

Allendra shrugged and then sipped from her cooling tea. " How could I not? It was because of me that the world lost its Chosen and the Wolf lost his mate. "

" Don't say that. " Sakura snapped her eyes flashing. " I am not his mate. " she all but growled causing Allendra to gape in surprise.

The garden seemed to quieten as the softly spoken words surrounded them and Allendra searched her friend's eyes her suspicion raging inside her.

" Tell me. " she finally spoke quietly.

Sakura sucked in a breath turning her head away but Allendra continued to stare at her, determination a raging beast inside her.

Tell me so that I may help….

Meanwhile Across the Country….

The forest was quiet except for the jangling of harnesses coming from a small party deep in the shadows. Horses stomped their hooves eager to get going. A mare shook her mane in annoyance at being kept waiting.

" Are ye sure about this lad? "

" Yes. I need you to stay here and hold down the fort with the others. "

" At least take Tori or Julian with ye. "

" You know as well as I do old man that they need to stay here and keep everything running smoothly. The men I have with me will be fine. "

" Our lord will be safe in our hands Lord Oswaine. " One of the three knights behind them spoke as they all bowed with their fists clenched across their hearts.

Oswaine made a disgruntled snort and looked back at Li standing beside him. " Ye keep yer eyes open and remember yer training. "

" Have faith in your men old man. " Li laughed softly.

" I don't bloody care as long as they do their job. " A glare was directed at the three and then pinned Amber eyes once more. " I don't care what happens as long as ye get their safely and sort this mess out! Och, the lass told ye that my health isna what it once was and what do ye think this is doin' to me havin' both ye and the lass gallivanting across the country unprotected! "

" Oswaine – " Li began.

" No ye listen to me pup. " Oswaine growled. " Ye don't come back here until ye sort this mess out with the lass. Ye hear me? "

" I can't exactly drag her back here Oswaine you know that. " Li replied grimly.

" No but ye can work that temper of yers out and while ye are at it let the lass have a couple a good shots so she knows that ye know that ye have been an ass. "

" Old man. " Li growled angrily, eyes flashing.

" Don't ye argue with me boy. " Oswaine growled back. He stepped closer and his big fist grabbed hold of Li's tunic and pulled him closer so that he could glare into his stubborn king's face.

" Don't let that temper of yers ruin the love that ye have for the lass. " Amber eyes widened in shocked surprise and Oswaine searched the gaze of his king before he released him and nodded towards his waiting horse.

" Fast travel with ye all. Stay safe. "