Note: I do not own Big Time Rush

After a long day of begging on the street, which again, for the straight week I made no money or food, I came back to my "Home" and I crawled into my sad excuse of a bed, which was really only a worn out mattress with a thin, torn blanket. I picked it up from the side of the road a few months ago. It was better than what I had to sleep on before, so I had no complaints.

My mind then began to drift, to what it always does. How I got to be where I am today...

If you had told me a year ago, I would be living in an abandoned house and rummaging through trashcans for my next meal, at the age of sixteen no less, I would have laughed in your face...

But that is what my life is now. Sadly.

All because I thought my family would love me no matter what. I was fifteen and I had finally decided I would come out to my parents. Figuring that they would support me, but boy, was I wrong...

~Flashback~

"Kendall please tell me this is one of your jokes." My mother sobbed out. I knew just by that, this was not going to end well...

"It's not mom...This is just a part of who I am." I replied. Trying to sound like I wasn't scared, but on the inside. I was terrified. Badly.

"Do you know what this will do for our families' image, if this gets out?" My father yelled out as angry as I have ever heard him.

My family was one of the wealthiest in Good-view Minnesota. My mom being one of the most successful lawyers in the state and my father being one of the best surgeons'. It was kinda hard to not be in the public view. But I never thought it would be more important then me. At least not till now.

"You can't help who you love, dad. Please don't hate me I love you guys." I said, my voice trembling. I couldn't believe this.

The fear in my voice was something I was not use to but I couldn't help it. This was not going how I thought it would. Not at all..

"I am sorry Kendall, but we have no choice. Not when you are...one of those things." My mother said, staring burning daggers at me. It hurt more then anything.

"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered out, not even trying to act like I wasn't scared or hurt.

"From this point on you are no longer a member of this family." My dad told me, his voice was so cold. A tone he had never used with me. Ever.

"P-please don't do this! I am your son." I said, as tears started making their way down my face.

"Not anymore." My mother snapped harshly. As if I didn't mean anything to her anymore.

"You are not to take anything with you. As of this moment you are fully cut off. We will have the guards check you before you leave, to make sure the clothes on your back are all you leave with." Dad said, staring me down like I was some revolting creature. Not his son, which I guess I'm not anymore anyway...

"You're really going to do this to me?" I whispered not believing how cruel they were being to me. This was supposed to be my family.

"You did this to yourself. You are the one who chose to be a fucking fag." My mom said, hissing each word with more and more venom. I had never heard my mother being this mean.

"I-I didn't choose this." I stuttered out, trying to reason with them. But knowing in my heart, my now shattered heart, I couldn't. They already made up their mind.

"And I wouldn't bother trying to get a job. You know your mother and I have friends in high places, and we will be getting in touch with them soon, to make sure every business knows not to hire a disappointment like you." My father spat out in disgust.

"But if I don't have a job, how will I survive?" I said, eyes wide as can be, with tears running down my face. Now I was beyond terrified. If I couldn't work...I would die. Not that they cared it seemed.

"That is your problem now, not ours." My mom said, shrugging her shoulders.

I then turn to my baby sister, Katie. We had always been extremely close. I figured she could help me. Or I at least hoped she would.
"K-Katie, say something. Help me please!" I said, holding back the sobs that were threatening to come out. I wanted to leave with some dignity.

Even though I was desperate now, I knew mom and dad would never say no to Katie.

But rather than help me, she delivered another blow to my heart. Making it shatter even more.

"Kendall you disgust me, I want nothing more to do with you." She said coldly, turning her head to the side, so she didn't have to look at me.

How could Katie have said that to me? She was my world and now she hated me too, just because I was gay.

"I think it is time for you to go now, before we have the guards toss you out. We better not catch you here again, Kendall, and don't you dare contact us. Ever!" Dad told me, more like yelled at me.

I looked at them all my eyes filled with tears. My own family was disowning me over something that I had no control over.
"Good bye, you little fucker!" I heard my father yell out, as I ran out of my now former home.

~End Flashback~

I have not seen any of my family members since that day.

Also true to their word, no place would hire me.

So now I survive by digging in trashcans for food. I refuse to steal food or anything. I just didn't have the heart to do that. I was lucky enough to find an old abandoned house for me to stay in. It has no electricity, but it helps to keep me a little warm in the harsh Minnesota winters. Which I was grateful for.

School was like hell on earth. I no longer attended the private school I once had, but now a public high school. Which where, I was either ignored because I was not worth anyone's time. Or I was bullied, because of my appearance.

My shoes were old and ragged. my shirts and pants all had at least one hole in them. Or maybe two. I stopped counting a long time ago. But it was all I had, I found them in trash cans around town.

This, along with being tall and thin, made me an easy target for bullies.

My biggest tormentors, however, where three guys. Logan Mitchell, James Diamond and finally Carlos Garcia.

They were filthy rich jocks, who ruled the school. To them, I was a insignificant speck of dust here for their amusement.

James was tallest of them all, about 6ft. He had hazel eyes and light brown hair, along with his perfectly tan skin. He is one of the vainest people I have ever met, though. Always with a mirror in his hand, and a comb in his pocket. He has girls constantly throwing themselves at him and he loves every bit of it.

Logan was the second tallest of them, around 5'6. With short spiked black hair and brown eyes, unlike James, he was pale but it worked for him. He is really smart and has a smart mouth to go with that big brain of his.

But he was also a huge dick, who had a new girlfriend every month.

Carlos was the shortest of them, by an inch, he was about 5'5. He had short black hair, with amazing chocolate brown eyes. He also had caramel colored skin that glimmered in the sunlight. He is a huge adrenaline junkie though, who loves doing stupid stunts. His voice, when it is not throwing insults at me, is soft and angelic.

He would be utter perfection, if he was not such a jackass.

I don't know what I ever did to make the three of them hate me. But they do, every day they find some way to hurt me, rather it being physically or mentally. Some days, I just want to end my miserable existence, it is not like anyone would miss the poor homeless gay kid. But then I think that if I end it all, it is giving them what they want and I will just not do that.

I will just tough it out the best I can, finish school, then go after my dream of being a singer.

At that I pulled my blanket up over my head and tried to get some sleep.

I was going to make it, somehow...

Authors Note

Okay, so this is my first ever mutli chapter BTR fic and I will try my best to make it. Carlos James and Logan will be OOC for a while but there is a reason, I promise. I would like to thank the following people you guys are awesome and helped inspire me to start writing BTR Fanfics. ImprecantesStellam, BaronofDenmark, Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, OutsiderRushheart, moon-soon, Mavk4444, HatersHateRushersElevate.