This is my imagination of the next time Beckett meets with Dr. Burke to continue her therapy. I'm hoping that she starts moving in the right direction and starts to find happiness. She deserves it and well Castle deserves it more because we all know this man deserves a metal for waiting for her. But she is SO worth it.

Dr. Burke is sitting in his dimly lit office opposite of his patient Kate Beckett. She is actually sitting in the chair and looking at her doctor in an almost, 'please fix me look' on her face.

Dr. Burke begins his questioning, "So last time you were here you said you were ready to focus on the future and learn how to put the past behind you. Are you still ready?"

"Yes. I don't know where to begin, but I am ready," she says.

"Kate, for starters you said that you didn't want to let your mother down. Do you feel that by not continuing to solve her murder, you are letting her down?"

"Yes." she says quickly.

"Why?" asks Dr. Burke.

Kate looks out the window and into the clouds. Then she looks at the statue next to the chair. She begins, "Well, I feel it is so easy to give up, to just walk away. Castle is right. We have no leads, no suspects or anything to go on. We're back to square one. I've been through this twice now and I hate having this feeling of failure."

"Kate, you do realize that your mother would never look at you as a failure? You've set out to do everything you've wanted to do as a detective. You haven't let your mother down in any way. And maybe walking away will help you cope with your personal life." The doctor says looking at Kate as her head is down looking at her hands.

Kate looks up, "My personal life? What are you referring to?" in a defensive tone.

Dr. Burke senses her tense up.

"Kate, don't get defensive. You haven't told me much at all about your personal life. We've mostly been dealing with your mother's death and you being shot. You came in here once outraged that Castle, your partner, was smitten with a lady helping on a case you were working on. Those are feelings Kate that need to be dealt with."

Kate was caught. She hated admitting that anyone was right, but she knew that she was totally caught. The same way she caught Castle when he hazed Alex Conrad for wanting to spend time with her. Busted.

She answers, "I know." She shrugs her shoulders and jumps up from the chair. Now a bit tense she says, "I don't know where to begin."

"Ok, that's honest. Now you said it was complicated. What makes it complicated?" the doctor asks calmly.

Kate sits down on the edge of that chair. "I think it is complicated for both of us."

"Ok, explain to me why it is complicated for you. Only for you right now," Dr. Burke adjusts himself in the chair.

"I guess I should start from the beginning." she says.

"Okay. If that will help."

Kate stands up and walks around the chair. Now standing behind the chair facing the doctor, "We've had a connection for awhile now. He does make me feel alive and he has really made my job as a detective more enjoyable. But…"

Kate hesitates and comes back around to sit in the chair.

Dr. Burke says, "But? Go on."

"But, I'm worried about a couple of things. Mixing business with pleasure, a thousand things run through my mind, that Captain Gates will kick Castle out because we're together and I want him there. Then I think well in order for us to be together maybe it would be best if he wasn't around. I mean, I was a detective before he came along. But he is good at find the missing pieces in a case." Kate finally looked up from her rant and looked at Dr. Burke.

"Do you think that your relationship would come between your ability to solve a case together?" asked Dr. Burke.

"No. We've fought before already, I mean, got into an argument, but each time we are more determined to solve the case. Our clearance rate hasn't dropped at all, except when Castle was gone to the Hamptons for the summer." 'Goodness', Kate saying to herself. She rolls her eyes while biting her bottom lip. She can't believe that she just said that out loud and admitted it to herself. They were a good team together whether they had an argument or were getting along. Also, she could never stay mad at him for very long. Another thing that she knows about him, but is glad Castle hasn't picked up on it yet.

Dr. Burke is reading Kate's face as she is having this conversation to herself in her head. "Why did you just roll yours eyes when you said that?"

Kate looks at Dr. Burke. He wasn't supposed to notice that. Once again being caught, Kate begins, "Well, Castle went away that summer with his ex-wife. Castle has been married twice and he's been a bit of a bad boy. I'm more of the one and done type of girl. I'm scared and holding back because I want to know what failed in his two previous relationships. I mean, along with all of other hangs ups I'm holding back."

Dr. Burke just continues to listen. Kate is sharing which is more than what she has done in any session.

Kate pauses thinking back, "It was tough when I saw them walk away together to the Hamptons for the summer. He had invited me to go to the Hamptons for Memorial Day weekend. I was caught off guard when he asked. I guess that our paths were just not aligned at all. I didn't see it. Then Tom, someone that I started dating, a detective from robbery, asked me to do go with him for the weekend."

Dr. Burke watches Kate relax into the chair. "Where are you going with this?"

"Well, Castle knew I was dating Tom and he knew that he had asked me for the weekend." She pauses, "Oh my God, that is why he said that he was going to stay for the whole summer in the Hamptons! Esposito was totally right." She pause, "Anyway," looking at the doctor and noticing his confused look on his face.

"Well basically, I didn't realize it until it was too late. Castle couldn't watch me be with another guy. It was just one of things that I felt a connection, but I didn't jump at it. Everyone else saw it and I knew it and hid from it. So then he made plans with his ex-wife to spend the summer in the Hamptons to finish his book. As I watched them walk off that day, that is when I realized that I didn't like seeing him with someone else either."

Kate continued, "I knew something was wrong the morning we solved the case. He didn't bring me coffee and he always brought me coffee. Everything was off from there." Kate smiled and put her finger to her lip. She was thinking about all of the things that happened that day and wished that the end result of the day was different that day.

Dr. Burke asked, "So what happened after that?"

"Well, nothing happened. He said he would return in the fall. And well, he did end up coming back, but it was to help solve a case that his friend had been killed. Kate paused," but, the truth was I wanted him to come back and work with us. I was just upset that he didn't call all summer, however how could I be mad at him? I didn't call him either."

"And he's been there ever since?" asks the doctor.

"Yes, he has." Kate says and let's that ring in her head. He's been there ever since.

"So basically you've told me previously he began working with you because he killed off the main character in his series of books, right?"

"Yes. Derrick Storm." Kate says quickly puzzled as to where the doctor is going with these series of questions.

"Okay and he is now writing Nikki Heat based novels."

"Yes."

"Based on you?"

"Yes."

"How many was he contracted for?"

"Three more books after Heat Wave" Kate is still wondering where he is going.

"And what book is he on right now?"

"The last one, you know? I don't even think he has been writing, but he just had his book signing for Heat Rises. I guess he's been busy." Kate caught herself. She was thinking of saying something else, but she stopped. She thought about this for awhile. Castle is coming to the end of the series, but there is plenty to the character. He could get signed to write more books.

Dr. Burke noticed Kate still in thought, but he asked, "Really? So why is he still following you around to crime scenes?'

"Well, if you asked me this last year at this time I couldn't have answered that question," she says.

"What about now?"

"I probably can help with that answer. On the day I was shot…actually can I start with the day that Captain Montgomery got shot?" Kate looked at the doctor. She had told him about that day and most of the shooting stuff during the routine conversations she had with the doctor after the shooting.

"Okay. Yes, go ahead."

"Castle and I got into a huge argument. He wanted me to walk away from my mother's case. He said we couldn't win this one and I would end up dead. He said everyone associated with this case is dead. So he asked me to think about the people that I love and care about me, like my father, my boyfriend…"

"Boyfriend?"

"Yes, I was dating someone at the time. His name was Josh."

"That's interesting." Dr. Burke said looking at Kate. She just looked back at him confused as to what was interesting about it. "Well, you never mentioned him until now and even though you mentioned him he didn't seem that important to you just now."

Kate looked out the window and nonchalantly looked back at the doctor, "Well, I really liked Josh, but that wasn't enough. Our schedules didn't work out and he was always gone. It was hard to get attached to someone when they were never around."

The doctor was even surprised himself when he came out with this. "And Castle was always there. Do you think that is why he sparked your interest?"

Kate looked confused again. Dr. Burke then said, "I'm sorry. I went off the subject with Josh. Go back to the day that Captain Montgomery got shot and the conversation with you and Castle."

Kate was still confused about the doctor stating that Castle was always around. Another thing Katherine Beckett has already noticed long ago, but she wasn't really ready to admit. He was always there, meddling in her personal life. He had this ability to keep her out of her head so much that she was just now realizing all of the little things that made him so important to her.

Then she began again, "Well, I asked Castle during that conversation. What about him? Meaning how would he feel is something happened to me? I mean, he was so concerned for how everyone else felt, so how would he feel if about it?"

"Oh, and what did he say?"

"He said of course I would be upset if something happened to you. You are my partner and my friend. And…."

Kate paused. Dr. Burke said, "And. Go on?"

"And well, I jumped in and said 'Oh that's what we are? Then he said that he didn't know what we are, but he knows that he doesn't want anything bad to happen to me."

Kate finished. She looked at Dr. Burke and hoping that is all for today. Isn't the time up she was thinking. She didn't want to go into details about the kiss and almost dying in the freezer. She thought they talked about enough already.

"Why do I get the feeling you are leaving something out?" Dr. Burke was on to her.

"Kate, you are doing really well, but you need to share more. If you aren't comfortable with me, then do you have a friend that you could share with? Maybe not the PTSD, but you should talk with a friend about Castle."

"Yes, I've thought about that. Lanie, she's my friend. I've shut her out a lot. It started with my mother's murder and then this time because I was shot. Actually, I was afraid to admit something between Castle and me. She's been a great friend and I think I will talk to her about Castle."

"Great. That's all for today."

"Thank you for your time Dr. Burke."

Kate made her way out of the doctor office to the parking garage. She climbed in her car. She thought about everything that she and the doctor talked about. She was surprised at all that she was able to get out and surprised at all the revelations that came with it. As she made her way to the precinct, she thought about having this conversation with Lanie. It's time to let Lanie back in. Maybe she can help she thought.

Stay tuned for the next chapter. I'll have it up soon! Thanks for reading and please share.