This is pretty crazy, just based on what happened in my strange dream,the first part however I made up to set some background to the story. Be warned, it's weird, I think I allowed my mind to wander off a bit too far whilst I was asleep :l

I don't own Doctor Who.

The wonders of a Perception filter

They were at a meeting; a conference if you like. He's strolled into that room full of the highest authority people on the planet and was more than a little shocked to see River Song sitting up there near the head of the table looking rather, wait… Uncomfortable?

A while later and some president of some nation or other was wittering on about something rather important but highly irrelevant as to why they were there and the Doctor hadn't paid the least bit of attention, instead he kept a close eye on River. She hadn't looked at him once, not once and it was slightly worrying. Even more worrying was the fact that she seemed to be breathing rather unsteadily and once or twice he noticed her grip the arm of her chair so forcefully, it made her knuckles turn white.

The Doctor watched again as River winced, sat upright in her chair across the room trying very hard to not look as though she was in pain. Something was not quite right, it had been staring him in the face ever since he entered the room… Something huge… No one else seemed to have noticed but he'd been watching her since they arrived. Something was wrong, very wrong. Another half an hour into the discussion and she excused herself from the room calmly but quickly, looking flustered.

And then it hit him, the first conclusion he came to was indeed the correct one … Of course, the twinges becoming less few and far between, the deep breathing, fingers gripping chair in a death grip, the subconscious hand brushing across her abdomen soothingly. It almost looked as though she was in labour and if he didn't know any better, he'd say they were contractions – but that means, she couldn't be, could she? Oh! He left the room after her, not bothering to excuse himself, sonic screwdriver in hand, he ran up the stairs behind her two at a time. How could he have missed it? The perception filter that he was sure she had placed on herself to hide her protruding stomach was the thing he had sensed upon entering the room.

The corridors upstairs were long and the ceilings high, she could have been in any one of the number of rooms in sight, although his sonic screwdriver was able to pick up her whereabouts pretty easily by detecting the perception filter. He picked up his pace a little faster and saw her at the end of the corridor dart into a room by the right. When he entered, he saw her perched on the edge of the bed, hunched over and taking long slow breaths. Now that he knew what to look out for, he saw it, heavily pregnant River looked up at him through puffy eyes. The perception filter no longer hiding the evidence of the new life that was stirring inside her, it was a rather disturbing but at the same time overwhelmingly enchanting sight.

''There was no need to follow me, I just feel a bit queasy that's all''

''There's no use in lying to me, I know what's happening and so do you'' it took her buy surprise how quickly he had apparently caught on and she shook her head at the same time she gritted her teeth together when another wave of pain shot through her abdomen, ''River, your pregnant''

''Not if I don't want to be'' The Doctor looked at her in disbelief, how could she be so stubborn at a time like this?

''Just look at your stomach. Properly, properly look, you know it's there''

''No-,''

''Just trust me and look now'' she did reluctantly and her swollen stomach did not surprise her,

''No, no, no'' she wept, ''I'm not supposed to be'' She closed her eyes tight, if she didn't want to see it and she tried hard enough then she wouldn't, ''how did you know?''

''Perception filter. You only saw what you wanted to see, he or she's been there all along and you knew that but didn't want to believe it and I want to know why?''

River grunted in pain whilst clutching her stomach as she stood up, trying and nearly failing to keep her balance, ''Kovarian. She would know. She always knows and how was I supposed to cope? We never meet in the right order – plus I'm in prison, it wouldn't be fair bringing a child into that'' she started walking around the room, the pain was too much to bear to be just sat down,

''It's too late for that River, it's a life. A living, feeling life that's already been created. You can't just make it not happen''

''There must be another way-,''

''There's not. I'm sorry…'' he trailed off apologetically and felt his hearts drop at the sight of her in pain, his River in agony as she padded around the bed, '' you're going to give birth soon''

''No'' she bit out, bent double and nearly collapsing to the floor. The contractions were getting closer now, more intense. She could handle it before, felt as though she was in control but now her body was doing its own thing and it frustrated her even more,

'''No' what do you mean 'no'? You're in labour!''

''I don't want to!''

''Well, you should of thought about that before you got pregnant!'' she gave him a sharp look and he realised how ludicrous that sentence sounded. After all, it was half his fault…

''I'm not having a baby! I don't want to be someone's mum!''

''Too late…'' he repeated again and stepped forward reaching his arms towards her stomach and she felt it, ''this is real''

''Make it stop, please make it stop''

''I can't. This is going to happen and there's nothing I can do about it''

She shot him a filthy look and almost told him he could of done something to prevent it all those months ago but instead came out with; ''how long have you known?''

''I sensed something from the moment we arrived – how did you even end up pregnant?'' he asked before he could stop himself, ''actually… Don't answer that, silly question…'' He didn't understand though, they were always careful because River was right, they didn't meet in the right order and no child should have to be brought up that way and he had an inkling that River didn't want children anyway, always saying she wasn't 'parent material', he disagreed, he thought she'd make a brilliant mother but then there was madam Kovarian… Perhaps River was right after all but there was no time to be thinking about that today, ''River, this baby is going to be born now, whether you like it or not-,''

''No, it's not because it's-,'' the rest came out as a scream as another contraction hit and he rushed over to her, pushing her none to gently to the floor before she collapsed,

''It's going to come out sometime so it may as well be now'' he crouched infront of her, rubbing the side of her leg, hoping he was offering some kind of comfort and she shook her head and whimpered, ''River, this baby wants to be born''

''But I don't want this baby''

The Doctor paused feeling slightly hurt but pushed it away, she was in pain, of course she was going to say some things she didn't mean, or he hoped she didn't mean… ''I feel like I should be offended by that, kind of am a bit…''

''Why?''

''Well, because it's my baby in there too you know,'' then it dawned on him and he panicked, ''it is my baby in there isn't it?''

''Of course it is you ridiculous idiot!''

''Right, good. Well then come on, get on the bed. This floor can hardly be comfortable'' he gently pulled her up by her arms and supported her weight, guiding her to where she would be more comfortable,

''What are you doing?'' River asked alarmed, the most important people on the planet were sat downstairs and he was leading her to the bed where she hoped he wasn't going to try and do what she thought he was going to try and do – He had no knowledge of how to deliver a baby, or anything medical for that matter! The title 'Doctor' never seemed as ridiculous as it did now.

''River Song, do you trust me?'' he asked when she was finally sat upright at the bed head,

''Always'' was the answer without hesitation,

''Good, then open your legs''

''What!''

''Just do it'' the Doctor sighed, pushing her knees apart and she did giving him another foul look, ''There's nothing,'' he said through gritted teeth, ''down here that I haven't seen before… Except a baby, Ahhh okay, okay… Never done this before''

''No, no I don't want to!'' she wept shaking her head again and she attempted to sit up,

''River'' he lent up, holding onto her knees so she wouldn't try to get up, ''you can do this, you can, but you have to trust me'' she cried again and he lifted her head up, ''hey look at me, I'm your husband''

That sentence alone gave her the strength she needed and every time she wept, or felt like giving up or cried 'I can't do it', he would remind her, and she would bear down even harder. The pressure in her head was unbearable and made her feel light headed and weak and her hips may as well of been wrenched apart for all the good it was doing. She had to admit, the Doctor was brilliant. Sure he panicked more than was necessary and he himself at times looked like he was going to pass out but he kept going, giving her reassuring words over her clotted cries and screams as she gave birth to their child. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and was thankful he was no longer wearing his 'idiotic' bowtie because she may well have strangled him with it.

She was on the point of exhaustion, getting clammier and sweatier and more tired by the minute. The contractions were complete and utter agony and she swore if they were ever to have sex again, she would tie a knot in his bits.

''Good girl'' he praised, rubbing her knee encouragingly, ''one more push come on, make it a good one!'' And she did, and she screamed collapsing back onto the pillow when a baby's cry filled the room.

Well, there you go :)