Reminiscence

Chapter 15 (Final)

It's a deja vu experience for Kate Beckett when she awakens on Christmas morning. Her eyes blink rapidly against the morning sunlight that shines unobstructed through the large living room windows of her father's cabin and she finds herself burrowing further under the blankets, shielding her eyes and curling into the warmth of the sleeping body next to hers.

The sleeping body of none other than Richard Castle, of course, and without the help of a needle and some very potent medication to knock the two of them out this time. No, they managed it all on their own this time, someway, somehow. No sense trying to make sense of the past two days in a sleepy haze though. It was time to let her mind rest and just feel, just be. With him.

They'd not even bothered closing the shutters and curtains the night before. Too content to move, too worry-free to care. Just satisfied with the new discoveries that this newfound dynamic was slowly unfolding for them. Sleeping together but not sleeping together. Just being together.

Finally, finally together.

No longer will they be just friends or partners; they're more. Maybe they haven't found the correct label for it, maybe they won't for a while, if any label is necessary at all, but one thing is for certain: They're more than they were yesterday and, she thinks, a little less than they will be tomorrow.

Oh, Castle would either be proud of the poetry in that one if she'd said it out loud to him or call her out on the cheesiness of it.

The relationship between them—personal, professional, all aspects of it—has been growing and evolving for years but now...now the romance of it is just beginning. The real love. It's thrilling and terrifying, but on some level they'd known it was inevitable. It's been a long time coming, and now it's about damn time.

Even waking up with her cheek nestled into his broad, warm chest though, with an arm draped over his abdomen while his are both curled about her waist and behind her back, the change was still sinking in for her. Just a little bit.

If it weren't for the fact that her most recent memories were so vivid, she'd think that she were dreaming. Even were that not enough, the rise and fall of Castle's chest, the sound of his slow, even breaths and the scent of him surrounding her, those were intimate details of this man that no dream of hers has ever accurately emulated. Could ever accurately emulate.

She's certainly dreamt of him enough to know the difference between imagination and reality.

When she kisses the column of his throat, starting at the bottom and working her way up as he makes a low, guttural sound in his throat in response, she realizes that no dream could ever compete with the reality of being with him, and she never wants to be stuck with only the illusion of being with this man ever again.

"You stealing kisses from me while I'm asleep, detective?" he grumbles awake, though his irritation is all for show. He's smiling and ever-so pleased with the wake-up call. Nope, no complaints here.

"Mm," she hums in confirmation, as her lips make their way along his jawline. Once they reach the shell of his ear, she whispers to him her little secret that's sure to both tease and excite him:

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Is that right?" he asks in surprise, his sleepy eyes opening wide. It gains him both another hum and a little laugh in response to his question.

"Good," he says then, turning slightly to tug her body close to his, nestle his chin and nose into the hair draped about her shoulders. "I love the smell of cherries in the morning."

Kate laughs, pushes him off her with flat palms against his chest. He falls back onto his side, slides his arms down to allow his hands to curl around her hips.

She could so get used to mornings like this. With him.

"Good morning to you, too, Castle," she says on a laugh.

Bending down over him, an errant curl of her hair dangles down into his face and he lifts a hand to brush it back, rises to meet her in a kiss.

"I must've been a really good boy this year for Santa to leave such a special present in my arms this morning."

Oh, yes. She could definitely get used to mornings with this adorable man and his goofy grin.

"Santa must have been watching, finally taken you off the naughty list," she grins into his lips.

Castle snorts a little laugh causing Kate to look at him curiously.

"What?" she asks, expecting him to churn out some innuendo in regards to the mention of him being naughty but he waves her off.

"Oh, nothing. Just...funny, is all. Hearing talk of Santa coming from the woman who stopped believing in jolly ol' St. Nick at age three. Clearly you didn't have this place yet, since it does indeed have a chimney."

"No, they bought it when I was six. And really? Are you still dwelling on that?"

"Yes! Santa Claus is a time-honored tradition of Christmas magic passed through the generations! It makes me sad that you never got to experience it."

"Can't miss something you never had, Castle."

"Yeah, I know. But still."

She can't help the quirk of her lips into a little smile when she sees that he actually appears to be a little pouty at the thought of her Santa-less Christmas mornings as a child. It's rather sweet, and for a second, her mouth gets ahead of her brain.

"You know, just because I never believed in Santa doesn't mean I'm not opposed to—" She catches herself before the rest of her words tumble out. She falls silent.

They're slowly diving into it, this new, unlabeled dynamic. Now would not be the time to jump straight into a conversation about children. Even if it was discussed with a certain someone yesterday, albeit not at her behest. But knowing Castle...

"Opposed to what?" he prompts, as expected, his curiosity clearly piqued and eyes swimming with intrigue. He watches her, brow raised, fingers tugging at the hem of her shirt, urging her on, to come out with it.

Kate's mouth twists and she debates it, but his expression screams that he's not letting this one go. He always wants the full story. Has to have the full story.

"—opposed to...keeping with tradition." The words come out quietly, but the impact is just as strong. Castle swallows hard, digests the words as they hit him.

"You mean...future generations."

She nods slowly.

"Letting your own children believe."

"Just because I missed out, doesn't mean they should." She flusters after the words spill out of her, quickly adds, "I mean, if I have any, of course. Who knows, right? But I could experience it, I guess. That...magic. Through them."

Magic. Skepticus Maximus was talking of magic.

Oh, Kate. How things have changed.

"You will," Castle says adamantly, taking her hands and giving them a firm squeeze. "Someday, Kate. You will. And so much more."

"Yeah?" she asks, her lips turning up with a shy smile, her cheeks painted with a tinge of pink.

"I'm sure of it." His face betrays his voice as a red flush comes over him, too, when he smiles up at her, just now realizing the depth of the conversation, what he basically just admitted to her and what she's disclosed to him in a roundabout way.

It's another one of those terrifyingly good feelings that sweeps through their whole being, sets every nerve-ending alight, leaves their heads spinning.

Someday. Children. Together.

This is a topic that would be considered far too soon to be discussed by normal standards, not that they really are discussing it directly, but theirs is not a normal relationship by any means, so maybe this is okay. Maybe this is them, too.

They're still on the same page, right? No one is freaking out. No one is running.

She realizes after seeing the smile break open on his face that she's smiling, too.

Smiles that speak volumes, much more than words ever could.

"You hungry, Castle?" she asks, breaking the silence with the need to affirm that yes, they are okay. That neither of them has freaked the other out yet.

"Little bit," he replies, and she can hear the relief in his voice. Relief that they're still good.

"What do you want?"

"Don't worry about it," he replies, then moves to sit up, intent on standing. "Get dressed. I'll take us out to eat."

"No," she says firmly, pressing him back to the floor with her index finger to his chest. "It's Christmas morning and you've been nothing short of amazing to me the past two days. My turn, and I want to make my partner breakfast."

"You made me breakfast yesterday."

"So? I'll make it again. What do you want?"

"Fine. Pancakes. And scrambled eggs."

"Okay." She moves to stand and he catches her wrist.

"Bacon. Hashbrowns. Strawberries and whipped cream to make Santa hats on the pancakes. Oh, and hot cocoa with whipped cream on top, a little cinnamon dashed in..."

"Don't push your luck, partner." She rolls her wrist out of his grip, pushes back on his chest to knock him down but his leg comes up at the last moment and hooks across her back, tugging her forward on top of him. She lets out a breath that is half sigh, half laughter and he kisses her, lingers.

"I'll help," he says, bumping noses with her.

She smiles, kisses him back.

"Yeah, you better."

Castle hands Kate the keys to the Ferrari and lets her take his car by herself to pick up her father at the hospital. She asks if he's sure and he nods emphatically, insisting she give her father a luxury cruise back home in style with his daughter.

Just as Kate pulls away from the driveway, Castle pulls out his iPhone and dials Alexis.

"Hey Dad." She picks up on the second ring, which leaves him to assume that she must not be preoccupied with anything else this morning.

"Hi Pumpkin. Whatcha up to?"

"Gram and I were just about to head out and grab a few things for tonight's dinner." His daughter pauses, and her tone goes softer, anxious. "You'll be home, right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss Christmas with you for the world, you know that."

"How is Kate's dad doing?"

"Great. She just left to go get him."

Alexis' tone turns curious, concerned. "You didn't go with?"

"No."

"Did something...?" she edges cautiously, and Castle barks out a laugh.

"No, no. Everything is fine, Alexis," he pauses, lets out a heartfelt sigh that even he recognizes as being more than a little girly. "I'll give you the full scoop when I get back, but I wanted to run something by you before I head back home."

Jim is already packed and waiting for her, seated in a wheelchair in the lobby with discharge forms completed.

"It's Christmas," he explains when she quirks a brow at him as she steps off the elevator. "I already screwed up two days. Don't want to waste anymore time that could be spent with my little girl."

Her face instantly softens and she almost has to bite back a tear when she leans down to wrap her arms around him for a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

Jim moves to stand and waves off the nurse standing by who was intent on wheeling him down to the parking lot.

"I'll be okay from here, thank you," he tells her.

"You sure?" Kate asks, instinctively moving to his side to brace him incase he becomes unsteady on his feet.

"I may be your old man, Katie, but I'm not decrepit yet," he says with a smile. His daughter grins back at him.

When they enter the elevator, she says, "Good. Because I have an awesome present waiting for you downstairs if you can handle it."

Jim studies her curiously and she gives her father a wink and a grin.

"Still have a thing for Ferraris, Dad?"

She doesn't let him drive, of course, but her father thoroughly enjoys the ride back in the comforts of the Ferrari's 262 cubic inches and 460 horsepower. Jim's always been a bit of a car buff, and being his only child, it was yet another shared hobby and interest between father and daughter, though the love of baseball has always taken precedence over sport and muscle cars.

"Hell of a car you've got there, Rick." Jim says as he steps out. Castle is making his way down the driveway to greet them and he's beaming.

"You're welcome to take it for a spin anytime," he tells Jim with a pleasant grin.

"I'll definitely take you up on that sometime, after they clear me for driving, of course," the older man says, clapping a hand on Castle's shoulder while he shakes his hand with the other.

Kate is all smiles seeing the two of them interact. It warms her heart knowing that her father approves of the man in her life. He'd never been close to any of the others before. Not for lack of trying; Kate just never saw fit to bringing many of them around family when she was an adult. Most of her relationships never lasted long or went far. Even Will and Josh, the more serious of her prior relationships, barely saw her father but once or twice and very briefly. And not once did they ever fall so naturally into step with each other like the ease at which Castle has.

Not that that's any surprise. He charms everyone.

Except, well, Gates.

"What's so funny?" Castle asks her with a bemused grin. She realizes then that she was not only spacing out about the two men in front of her but apparently chuckling to herself, too.

"Not important," she says back to him. "Come on," she gestures to her father. "Let's get you settled, Dad."

"I'm fine, Katie," he tells her when she links her arm with his, still not trusting him to walk by himself. She levels him with a look, points up at the roof and he groans. "Yeah, yeah."

Kate doesn't waste any time treating her father to a homecooked meal given all the hospital food he'd had to endure for the duration of his stay. It's only after she's finished cooking (her father's favorite: biscuits and gravy) that she realizes that Castle isn't within eyesight anymore.

"I think he's out packing stuff into the car," Jim offers with a knowing grin and a thumb pointed back in the direction of the front door.

"Oh," she says simply, moving to pull out a chair and sit beside her father until he sets a hand on her forearm, stopping her.

"Go to him." And when she looks at him curiously, "I don't need you on standby while I eat. Spend some time with him before he leaves."

"Dad, I've spent nearly every waking hour with him for the past few days and I see him almost every day at home. It's fine, really."

"You say that, but things are different now, right? You said so yourself."

Kate's lips twist to the side and although she doesn't want to admit it, he's right. Things are different, and she really does wish Castle wasn't leaving quite yet. This thing between them is so new, so fresh. It hasn't even been 24 hours since that kiss in the snow.

But he has a family to head home to. She knows that. His mother, his daughter. She's taken enough of his holiday time away, even if he himself said days before that he didn't have plans with them until today.

"Go on, Katie." Her father gives her a shove and a nod of his head and with a huff, she finally relents.

She's standing just outside the front door, leaning against the molding with her hands clasped behind her back when he looks up and spots her. He gives her a light smile and it's immediately reflected on her own face.

"Everything packed up?" she asks, nodding at the Ferrari.

"Just about. Kind of bummed though. There's one thing I have to leave behind."

Kate tilts her head, gives him an odd look when she sees plenty of space left in the car. He starts making his way toward her, hands in his pockets

"You still have room left. What is it?" she asks.

His hands come out of his pockets as he approaches and they go to her hips, tugging her gently towards him. She instinctively grips the fabric of his jacket in response.

"My heart."

Kate lets out a breath and leans into him, her forehead touching to his jawline. His lips find her skin, soft and warm. So it would appear she's not the only one reluctant to part from this so soon. It makes her feel a little bit better with that knowledge. Only a little.

"Come home with me," he blurts out suddenly. "You and your dad. We can all spend Christmas together, the five of us."

"Castle."

He sighs and she runs her hand down his cheek in a gentle caress that makes him close his eyes, breathe through it. Father-daughter time. That's what she was coming up here for. That's what he needs to go home for with his own daughter.

"Right. It can wait. This can wait," he capitulates, relinquishing his hold on her, as if not touching her will make it easier to leave in the end. He's doubtful, but what the hell. Worth a shot, right?

Kate gives him a glum look as he pulls away and then she chases after him, reeling him back in.

"I'll bring it back," she murmurs softly to him, sliding her hand up his chest.

"Huh?"

"Your heart, Castle." She lifts on her toes, nose brushing along his cheek. "I'll bring it back home to you."

Then her lips meet his, sealing the promise.

"Sounds like you had an eventful three days, kiddo."

Castle smiles at his mother sitting across the room from him at the bar with such a genuine happiness that it seems to exude from every fiber of his being.

"Yeah," he says, then turns back to stirring the gravy he's tending to in the kitchen, giving it a wistful gaze. "Yeah, I did."

"So, when's that lovely detective of yours coming back to the city?"

"Probably tomorrow night. She's back on shift on Tuesday."

"I see."

Her tone is a little flat and, he thinks, disbelieving. He turns back to her.

"Okay, what aren't you saying?" he asks her, lifting an eyebrow.

"It's really none of my business, dear."

"Please, that's never stopped you before, Mother."

Martha lets out a little chuckle and recomposes herself.

"Honestly, Richard, I'm just surprised you let go of her so soon."

The spoon he's stirring the gravy with clinks against the pan when he releases his hold on it. Martha watches him silently, seeing the way his features have drooped a bit.

"It's not like I wanted to. I just didn't have a choice," he admits.

"It's not like you to give up without a fight though, kiddo."

A laugh bubbles out of him causing his mother to stare at him curiously.

"Oh, I haven't given up on anything. Hell, in a brief moment of weakness, I asked her to come home with me," he grins sheepishly. "And I've probably texted her thirty times since I've been home."

"You invited her for dinner?" Martha asks in surprise.

"Mhm. I asked Alexis if it was all right with her when I called this morning. Assuming Kate would even agree to go."

"Which she didn't."

"It's okay," he tells her with a smile, and it's an honest answer. "She doesn't see her father often, and the whole hospital stay threw a wrench in all of their plans this weekend. It's better this way. She gets some alone time with him."

Martha smiles at her son affectionately.

"You've grown, Richard."

He counters with a grin of his own. "I know. Scary isn't it?"

A knock on the door interrupts their laughter.

"More carolers again?" he says, and Martha waves him off to stay on kitchen duty, heads for the door.

Who she finds on the other side makes her break out into a joyous smile.

"Oh, Kate! Jim!" she exclaims, pulling Kate into a hug. "Oh, you look gorgeous darling."

"Thank you, Martha." Kate gives the older woman a shy smile. "I-I hope we're not interrupting anything."

"No, no. Not at all. Richard's just finishing up the final touches on dinner while Alexis is on the phone with her mother. Please, come on in."

Kate slides off her coat revealing a deep red, slim fitting evening dress with a boat neckline and slight ruffles of fabric that trail down the bodice and skirt. Dressed to kill, or in the very least, knock the man in the kitchen off his feet a little.

"Richard!" Martha calls out animatedly as she makes her way across the entryway and toward the kitchen. "You'll never guess who is joining us for dinner."

Castle turns around and once he catches a glimpse of Kate rounding the corner, his breath catches in his chest and he drops whatever he was doing—he honestly can't even remember anymore—immediately.

"Katie said you had invited us for dinner and I couldn't let her refuse," Jim says, nudging his daughter with his good arm. She turns and gives her father a scowl.

"You're making it sound like I didn't want to come."

Castle steps towards her, eyes raking up and down, taking her in.

"Hey," he says, still having some trouble keeping his brain in sync with the rest of his body.

"Hey yourself," she replies, looking up at him through her eyelashes. Finally he breaks into a grin and it makes her heart melt.

"Just couldn't stay away, huh?"

He moves closer still until his hands can reach her, wrap around her waist. She lifts her hand to clutch onto the lapels of his dress shirt.

"That a complaint, Mr. Castle?"

"Hell no. Not after last night and this morning." One of his hands traces up her side, along the the fabric of the dress clinging tight to her skin.

"Oh, for God's sake, Richard. Do I have to bring out mistletoe or are you going to kiss that girl already?"

Castle lets out an exasperated sigh while Kate starts laughing.

"Don't worry, Martha," she assures the older woman, lifting a hand to cup her son's cheek, her thumb reaching out to play with his earlobe. He grins down at her, knowing full well where she's going with her line of thought.

Kate looks at him, seeing his cool blue eyes shining back at her with all of his love and affection for her visible in them. He tugs her waist flush against him.

"No mistletoe necessary," she finishes while Castle gives her a knowing smile before he dips down to seal his lips to hers.

END