Title: Dammit Janet
Author: caz251
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: Pg-13
Character/Pairing: Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood.
Summary: Owen Harper-Sato and his wife are ill-impressed at what Jack and Ianto have been up to in the hub.
Spoilers: general spoilers
Warning: slash, blood drinking

AN: Written for cliche_bingo Prompt: dancing

AN2: Set in my Vampires of Torchwood verse after CCTV.

Owen Harper-Sato was annoyed, no that was an understatement, he was furious. His autopsy bay was a mess, his computer had been wiped of its files, and Toshiko's computer had been completely trashed. His wife was to say the least hysterical and ready to kill the culprits, despite them already being dead. Said culprits were sat in nothing but boxers in the water fountain, throwing little bits of water at each other, and generally acting like children. He didn't know what had happened to his Sire and his mate, but neither of them were acting in any manner that he recognised of them. In the time that he had known them both hi Sire had been rather flirtatious and mad sometimes, but this was pushing it. His Sire's mate on the other hand was the epitome of prim and proper and this just seemed so far removed from his normal behaviours. He knew that there must be something affecting them, Ianto would never distress Toshiko in this way, not if he could help it, she was his best friend.

While he wanted to find out what had happened to them and why they had been acting as they had his first priority was of course his mate, calming her and helping her get some systems back online. He could deal with his domain later once Toshiko was functioning at better capacity than she was at the moment. He quickly began cannibalising what was left of his computer and Gwen's old station and began to try and piece the parts together with Toshiko's surviving components. He would never be as talented as his mate however and had to admit defeat rather quickly. Luckily by that stage Toshiko had realised that the situation was salvageable and had immediately set to work to recreate her old station and get herself working in the technological world once more.

Once she had started it didn't take long, Owen simply followed her directions to the letter, something that he had been much better at since Jack had turned Toshiko into a vampire and she confronted them about being mates. That was one evening that Owen didn't like to remember much, even if the outcome had been in his favour in the end. His mate was one scary female vampire, one that he never wanted to cross again. He hoped that Jack and Ianto had a good reason for their actions otherwise he wasn't going to risk himself in an attempt to stop Toshiko from attacking them.

After getting Toshiko's station back online they had searched through the CCTV to find out what on earth had happened only to watch Jack and Ianto playing the most intriguing game of strip poker, crossed with I Spy and trivial pursuit they had ever encountered. From the CCTV it was impossible to work out the rules, who was winning or even what the point was, but it was clear to them that whatever was causing the madness in the two vampires had started before they began such an insane game. Going further back on the CCTV it was to find them coming out of the cells after having been down spending time with Janet, their resident weevil.

Owen cursed as he realised what had happened, knowing that it was definitely not an excuse that would cool his mate's ire. 'The aliens made us do it' excuse never worked well, especially not when it involved Toshiko. He really didn't think that shifting the blame onto Janet and the properties in her blood would make her any more lenient on Jack and Ianto, and to be honest he didn't mind too much as long as he wasn't dragged into it. He made them all blood wine for a reason, if Jack and Ianto were too out of it or stupid to have a drink only to then snack on their long-term resident in the cells it was their own fault and they deserved whatever fate his wife dealt them.