Summary: The Doctor returns to a place that was once a home, but it's not the same and never will be. Sherlock and the Doctor know this, but that doesn't mean they can't try for something new and different. Can lost love bloom into a friendship or will past feelings get the better of them?

Let's Waste Time Together Again

I

An Unwelcome Return

Sherlock walked into his room fully aware someone was in there. Who that someone was he didn't know.

Who it turned out to be...even he would never had guessed it.

"Hello Sherlock," the Doctor said. He pushed off the wall he was leaning on and walked towards Sherlock but stopped halfway. He looked up at Sherlock and rubbed his arm. "It's good to see you."

Sherlock quietly shut the door, he didn't want John waking up and firing questions about who this was. Sherlock wasn't in the mood to reply with witty remarks and lies.

"You've changed."

"...yeah."

"You should also leave."

"Sherlock."

The Doctor approached but Sherlock took a sharp step back. This hurt the Doctor more then he thought it would. He could see Sherlock fighting back tears as much as he was. He knew coming here would be painful. Where ever the Doctor went there was pain.

Always pain.

"I'm sorry Sherlock."

"Why did you come here?" Sherlock asked, his voice portraying more emotion then he would've liked. Sherlock wasn't a man of emotions, at least that what everyone thinks. Even Sherlock himself. This man however, this man, this alien, the Doctor...had changed that. "You left."

The Doctor's hearts ached. He did leave.

"I did and I'm sorry."

Sherlock scoffed. "Sorry, so you came back to say sorry? Yeah, you really need to go. Now."

"Sherlock just let me explain."

"Explain? Okay, explain to me how all the time we spent together, everything we did, everything we shared, meant nothing to you as you up and left in your precious TARDIS leaving me behind here!"

With each word Sherlock stepped towards the Doctor who he now looked down upon.

"Besides, you're not the man I feel in love with. I was eye level with him."

"I've changed appearances and some in personality but my feelings for you haven't."

"Mine have," Sherlock turned away.

Sherlock's words struck the Doctor hard. He knew that things wouldn't be the same if he came here and he knew coming here would be painful for both of them.

"Why did you come here?" Sherlock asked again but kept his back to the Doctor.

"I've been running. Doing so much running and I've finally stopped. Everyone thinks I'm dead Sherlock. You Sherlock, here, this was where I stayed the longest. This was my home." The Doctor watched as Sherlock's shoulders moved with every deep breath he took.

"This hasn't been your home in seven years."

The Doctor shut his eyes, praying the tears wouldn't fall. He sniffed and let out a sigh. He absentmindedly fixed his jacket. "I'm sorry for coming here Sherlock. It was wrong of me. I'll show myself out." He walked pass Sherlock and opened the door. Without turning around he said, "I just want you to know I might be a different man, maybe even a bad man for what I did to you, but I love you and always will."

The Doctor left and shut the door almost silently behind him. Sherlock let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and sat down on his bed. He pressed his palms to his eyes and let out a strangled breath.

He cried himself to sleep that night.

They both did.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

John watched Sherlock stare into space as he ate his cereal. After a good three minutes John felt he had had enough.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He had noticed Sherlock's eyes rather red this morning. "You're awfully quite this morning."

"Yeah..."

"You're not mad at me are you because I wanted to sleep in my room last night, are you?"

Sherlock let out a chuckle, "Course not," he said. "You're new to the whole boyfriend thing anyway."

John nodded his head, he was. However something caught him in that statement. "You are, too...right?"

Sherlock looked away. "Of course, we're both new."

He was lying. John can see that as clear as day. He wanted to engage in this, to ask questions, but the look on Sherlock's face stopped him.

It was pained.

"I'm going for a walk," Sherlock suddenly announced and left the flat in a flash. John, who's brain was still processing the words Sherlock had spoke, sat there and said okay to no one.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

"Why didn't you whisk me away like all the others before me?"

The Doctor who was watching the ocean turned around at the question.

"All your companions before, all your friends, you told me how you went on all these adventures with them. How you traveled time and space saving worlds and everything. Why didn't you ever take me?" Sherlock walked up a leaned against the railing of the dock. "We could've done so much."

"You were different from everyone else. For once, it wasn't me meeting someone and taking them on the adventure of their life. It was the other way around."

"So why did you abandon it all?"

"I was scared. There was so much behind me that could've come at any moment and destroy everything. When we got so close, I was so afraid of losing it all, like I have before."

"So you willingly left it."

"I left to erase myself. To clear up my past that had so much unfinished business."

"Did you?"

"Everyone thinks I'm dead, so yeah, I think so."

"But you did die."

"In the process, yes I did."

Sherlock listened to the sound of the waves crashing against the dock. It was a cloudy morning which cast a gray look on the ocean. A stormy look.

"You know we can't go back to what we were."

"I know."

"And we can't start anew."

"...I know."

Silence between them lasted a bit until the sound of distant thunder cracked above them.

"I should be going then." The Doctor pushed off the railing to leave.

"No." Sherlock suddenly said. "I want you to stay."

"Sherlock I-"

"You have nowhere else to go. There's a basement flat where you can stay in my building."

"Sherlock..."

"Just..." Sherlock turned towards where the infamous blue box stood a few feet away, "find an appropriate spot for your trailer home and stop by and we'll talk with Mrs. Hudson." Sherlock straightened himself and began to walk away.

"Sherlock!" Said man stopped but didn't turn around. "Thank you."

Sherlock took a deep breath and walked away.