...Hey, guys. ;;vuv
Wow, I haven't updated this thing since I was a freshman... And I'm a senior now, haha. Dang...
The other day I kinda remembered that this thing was still up and unfinished, and I reread it (Oh sweet jesus my writing was awful) and... I feel like I need to finish it.
Which is what I plan on doing.
So... Here we go! Chapter nine!
This chapter's pretty tame, and not nearly as depressing or god-awful as the last ones... But don't expect it to be like this for long, heheh. I've got ideas and tricks up my sleeve. c;
Sorry to keep you guys waiting... for over two years... ;w;

That night was magical. Honestly.

I'd never been in such an intimate position and I didn't think I'd mind too much if it were to happen again.

Of course, I didn't say this. I still have to work on voicing my feelings, and that went for other things, too.

Not just sad feelings or self-hurty feelings.

It's all my feelings. I have a lot of work to do.

But anyway. I'm not gonna get into all of that self-improvement stuff because I kinda just wanna talk about Gilbert and how we kissed last night and how I'm currently laying in my bed with him.

We didn't go very far last night – I mean, our feelings kinda just came out, and I swear I'm not a prude, but… I dunno, I'm just not ready for that stuff, y'know? I think you all know I'm a very emotional person at this point and with my emotions not all in check at the moment, doing a very emotionally-taxing thing in my current state probably isn't the best idea.

Not to mention I don't know how to feel about Gilbert seeing me… well, naked.

Yeeeahhh, that wasn't happening. Not any time soon, anyway.

Moving on…

We fell asleep after a lot more kissing and now, it was morning. Almost time for school.

I turned onto my side to face him (He'd been pressed up against my back during the night) and gently shook his shoulder to wake him.

Have I ever mentioned how Gilbert was a heavy sleeper? It took me five minutes just to get a groggy groan out of him. We weren't up that late….

"Gil," I murmured, and when he just grunted tiredly in response, I sighed and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his forehead, then his eyelids, then his nose.

That got him up.

"..Huh..?" he grumbled, and I couldn't help but smile a little at how adorable my boyfriend was.

Boyfriend. We're boyfriends. Dang.

"C'mon, we have to get up or we'll be late." I said to him, and he just pulled the covers over his head and grumbled something along the lines of me being 'cruel' for waking him up so early.

The response only got an eye roll from me.

He's like a little kid, I swear.

"Gil, c'mon." I said again, this time a little sterner, and sat up. Gilbert whined (Yes, whined) and sat up as well, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. I could tell he wasn't happy, but he seemed to cheer up a little when he caught sight of me sitting beside him. Just a little. He still looked a bit grumpy.

But it didn't matter. The fact he looked happy to see me still made my heart flutter.

"Wh'time issit?" he asked groggily, and stretched his arms above his head. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand.

"Seven-thirty. We woke up just in time."

"Birdie, I hope you know I'm not a morning person."

"I'm aware. C'mon, get up. I'll make us breakfast."

Except that didn't happen. By the time we were both showered and dressed, Al had already claimed the kitchen and was currently making something that looked like eggs and toast. I inwardly groaned.

Don't get me wrong, Al was a surprisingly good cook for someone like… well, him. He was just… so messy. And I'm usually the one who has to clean up his messes.

And yes, it is very much possible to make a mess out of eggs and toast.

"Morning Ma-…" he greeted in a sing-songy voice, but cut off in the middle of his sentence when he saw Gilbert standing beside me.

Welp.

I probably should've told him that Gilbert had stayed the night…

"What's he doing here?" Al asked me, disdain showing clear in his voice and expression. Al was very vocal about his dislike for Gilbert.

Gilbert only smirked though. He never did seem off-put by Alfred's hostility. I mean, I don't blame him, since Alfred isn't usually a very violent person in the slightest, but he could get scary when he wanted to. When he did get scary it was usually because something had happened to me (The few times he actually noticed something happening, anyway. He's protective when he remembers that, hey, I'm still kind of here).

Gilbert opened his mouth but I cut him off, because I just knew he was gonna reply with something snarky and then Al was gonna get mad and there would more than likely be eggs splattered against the wall and I would have to clean it up, and I kinda wanted to avoid all of that.

"He stayed the night. To make sure I'd be okay." I cut in quickly, and Al just shot my boyfriend a distrusting look; then me, a look that was borderline pouting.

Jesus…

"But Mattie, I can take care of you just fine! That's what heroes do! They don't need other people to help." Aaaand he was glaring at Gil again.

I just sighed. Once again, I cut Gil off, knowing exactly how he was going to reply and knowing exactly how Al would react.

Let's just say it wouldn't be good.

"Al, really, it's okay.. A little help doesn't hurt." My voice kinda got quiet at that last part. I guess I was trying to tell both him and myself that.

Well, I know help isn't a bad thing. I mean, all I've wanted for the longest time is for someone to notice me and give me a hand and help me deal with all of this, but now that I have the help, and from several people at that, it's just… weird.

I'm not used to it.

But anyway.

"We have to go, Al. I'll see you later, eh?" I told my brother, trying to appease him. It seemed to work a little, but not much.

He sighed.

"Yeah, alright… I'll meet up with you at lunch, 'kay bro?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

I pulled Gil out of the kitchen and out of the house before he said something that would probably get him punched, and we made our way to school.

Gilbert offered to buy me breakfast before we went to school, but I refused, saying he could go get something if he wanted to. I'd already missed too much school and I didn't want to miss anymore.

Of course, Gilbert wasn't as concerned about his attendance as I was mine, so he walked me to school and left to go get him something to eat.

(But not without giving me a kiss goodbye first. I blushed like an idiot but I can't deny that it made me happy.)

Anyway.

School started off as it usually did. I was almost late for first period, I was ignored throughout first period, and soon first period ended. Second period went by about the same way.

As the day passed I constantly found myself rubbing at the bandages on my arms that were hidden by my hoodie. I didn't have a reason to cut, especially since today had been one of my better days so far, but I just… I wanted to cut.

I needed to.

But I kept myself from doing it. I knew Gilbert would be upset if he found out I hurt myself again while he wasn't with me, and if I can't stop for myself, then I was going to try and stop for him.

He caught up with me during lunch. A smile instantly came to my face when I saw him sitting in his usual spot at his usual table. He looked up and saw me, then stood and made his way towards me.

As he made his way up to me, I saw Al giving him dirty looks the whole time. He was sitting a few tables away with Arthur and Francis. I didn't see Antonio anywhere.

Good.

"Birdie!" Gil called, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders when he reached me. I smiled but blushed a little, still not really used to the PDA stuff. I could practically feel the glare that Alfred was sending us- er, Gil.

"C'mon, I brought you some lunch." he told me, as happy and cheery as always.

I blinked.

He… brought me food?

"Oh, Gil, you didn't have to do that…" I murmured, but smiled a little, actually deeply flattered.

He bought me food. Wow.

He just shrugged and led me over to the table. As I got closer I noticed Romano was here, as well as Ludwig and Feliciano. The latter was currently draped over the blonde teen and was crying about something. Ludwig looked uncomfortable. I felt kinda bad for him.

"But it was awesome of me to do it, right?" Gil boasted, somehow perfectly pulling off his smirk-grin combo.

"It's what awesome people do! They buy food for other awesome people! That's like.. double the awesome. You can't go wrong with that!"

All I could do was chuckle. Gil could be a bit much at times, but it was endearing.

"Ah, that's a good point." I went along, smiling some. I took a seat beside him and he gave me my lunch (Dammit, I couldn't get over the fact that he got me food…), then he opened up his own lunch and we both dug in.

This was probably the most peaceful lunch I'd had in a long, long time.

So of course it had to be ruined.

Just when I thought I'd burst from happiness, Antonio stepped into the cafeteria.

I immediately froze. Gilbert noticed and wrapped an arm around my waist. If he was trying to reassure me that I'd be okay, it worked. Kinda.

I ignored the gawking expression on Alfred's face that appeared when Gil put his arm around me.

….I didn't tell him we were a thing now, did I? Welp…

I didn't worry about that, though. I was too preoccupied staring at the kid who mercilessly beat me to a near pulp on more occasions than I could count.

But, thankfully, he was too preoccupied with something else, too.

Just as Antonio walked in, Romano stood and made his way over to him, clearly fuming.

Which wasn't a new thing, really. Romano was always upset about something.

The two got into a shouting match over something so trivial it'd be a waste of time to explain. Something about their relationship. And it seemed to be a one-sided argument. Antonio wasn't yelling, instead trying to calm the other boy down, and Romano was yelling enough for the both of them.

A few minutes into the fight Francis came and slid down beside me at our table. Again, I tensed up. I stayed quiet, but Gil spoke up.

"What're they fighting about now?" he asked Francis, and Francis just sighed in that overly-dramatic way he did sometimes.

"Ah, something to do with Romano seeing him around other men, I do believe."

He heaved another sigh and leaned a little closer to me, but didn't look at me. Instinctively, I leaned against Gil to get away from him.

"Perhaps it isn't my place to speak, but Romano seems to have him on a bit of a tight leash, huh? There's nothing wrong with flirting with other people~" he purred.

I wanted this guy away from me. I was half tempted to get up and leave.

"As long as you don't act on it, what's the harm~?" Francis shot me a wink and Gilbert frowned and brought me closer to him. He seemed to be a bit annoyed by his friend's behavior – and understandably so.

"Hands off, Franny. Birdie and I happen to be in a committed relationship, and we don't need you sticking your pervy nose where it shouldn't be." Gil snorted, half teasing and half serious.

Although, I really hope he was more serious than anything. I had a feeling he was.

Francis just pouted and reluctantly backed off with yet another dramatic sigh. He held his hands up defensively.

"Ah ah, I understand, mon ami." he appeased, and just as he said that, a sharp smacking sound resonated through the whole cafeteria.

Everyone went silent.

Antonio held a hand up to his now reddening cheek as he watched Romano storm off.

The expression on his face was so pitiful even I felt kinda bad for him.

Antonio shot a look our way – I knew it was directed at Gil and Francis but I shied away from it anyway. I couldn't help it.

He looked… really upset. He turned away and hurried after the fuming Italian.

And just as that.. scene, came to an end, the bell rang for everyone to go back to class.

Gil and I both stood, and he pecked me on the cheek. I blushed and a nearby teacher warned us to keep our hands to ourselves.

I still smiled, though. Nothing could phase me right now.

"I'll catch up with ya later Birdie, alright?" he said to me, and I nodded.

His usually carefree expression took on a more serious look.

"You gonna be alright?"

Once again, I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I promise. Get to class, eh?" I grinned a little and nudged him, and the seriousness fell from his face and he grinned as well.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, and was off, Francis in tow.

I watched them go, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Alfred coming my way.. only to be dragged away by the British kid he was sitting with.

I never thought I'd say this, but god bless Arthur.

I made my way to my next class. The day was halfway over and… I felt okay. I usually felt awful at this point but right now I felt very content.

Until Francis showed up again.

My mood kinda dropped when I saw him searching for me. The only reason I knew he was looking for me was because his face lit up when he saw me, and he made a beeline to get to me.

"Mathieu, mon ami, I must speak with you." He said when he got up to me. He stepped a little closer to me than I felt comfortable with, and I took a step back.

"I-.. Francis, I-I can't, the bell is about to ring.." I replied weakly, and.. he looked a bit serious now.
It was weird.

"But Mathieu, it is important-"

"I have to go, I'm sorry."

I hurried to my class.

I didn't want to know what he had to tell me.

Francis… was never serious. And when he was, he was never like… Gravely serious. Not like how he looked just then.

It kinda scared me, honestly.

I knew it meant that whatever he had to tell me, it wasn't good.

And I didn't want to hear any bad news. Today was a good day, and I wasn't about to let Francis ruin it.

I made it to my class almost as soon as the bell rang. The teacher didn't notice me enter, which wasn't unusual.

I couldn't really find it in me to care about that right now, though. I didn't want to know what Francis had to tell me… but I still found myself wondering what it was.

I tried to push the thought from my mind.

Today was a good day.