Title: No One Alone On Christmas (Oneshot)
Rating: NC-17/M
Characters: Kurt, Puck, Burt, Carol, Finn, Rachel, and Puck's Mother and Sister
Character Pairings: Puck/Kurt, Burt/Carol
Summary: Chrismukkah Fest on LJ gift…Kurt didn't like that every aspect of his life seemed to have been taken over by Finn and Carol – including the usual Christmas plans; which is staying home and celebrating together. So when his dad finally tells him that if he can't be a part of the family and embrace new traditions, he can just stay home…Kurt thought he'd be miserably alone for the whole three days. However, Christmas is the time for magic and miracles right? This is a story about learning the true meaning of being a family.
Spoliers: Through The Christmas Episode in Season 2
Word Count: 15,502
Disclaimer: As much as I'm sure we all wish and dream we do, I don't own Glee. Further, I would like to apologize to anyone from Fremont, Ohio. I am sorry to say I have never been there, and know nothing about your area. So I tried to keep descriptions to a minimum in case I got something wrong, and offended someone.
Genre: Slash, Family Fic, Humor, Romance/Angst, and Christmas Joy
Warnings: Language and M/M Sexual Situations
Author's Notes: OMG this story felt like it would NEVER end! Every time I set my word count goal, I'd wind up surpassing it by like a thousand. Also, I wrote this for LJ's Puckurt Chrismukkah fest, so that's why I'm so past Christmas for posting it here. I hope people still have enough Christmas jollies left to read this. *looks around anxiously* LOL Anyway, can we just pretend Kurt never went to Dalton, Karofsky stayed expelled, and Blaine kinda-sorta never appeared?...We can? Great! I honestly stepped out of my usual for this, as I am a big bottom!Puck, person; but I hope it's good. :D

.

Kurt will never admit it, but he's seriously jealous of his new family.

His new family that seems to want to leave him and his feeling completely out of consideration.

He can't even begin to think about how many times he's put up with Finn's choice of movies for their after Friday night dinner; which is either a slasher or horror film filled with a bunch of disgusting gore and scantily dressed women showing their breasts.

Puke.

Or Carol's Tuna Noodle Casserole that she puts corn in. Yes, corn.

Just…gross.

And the fact that his dad just acts likes this is all okay. That the fact that they have come in and wrecked everything in a matter of months, is perfectly normal…pisses him the fuck off.

Which brings him to why he's sitting (moping) in his room, reading (staring at) his assigned book for English Wuthering Heights, ignoring all sounds from upstairs.

It was like his dad was purposely torturing him.

A cabin?

Go to a cabin for Christmas Eve and Christmas day?

Is he insane?

They always stayed home. Always. Even that first one after his mom died. They stayed home, put up a tree, decorated the house, made cookies and eggnog and played games and…he wanted Kurt to be fine with breaking this tradition because they had a new family. What Kurt wanted to know is what was wrong with the old family?

So, he's sitting pretending to read, pretending not to care about the joy he's not a part of, and pretending to not here his dad come in the room with a sigh.

"Son," he starts, taking his hat off and coming to sit on his bed, "are you sure you don't want to come with us? We're going to go skiing." He adds with a hopeful smile.

Kurt doesn't even look up, "No."

Burt sighs again and puts his hat back on his head with a frustrated sort of noise. "I just don't understand why, Kurt. The family is going to celebrate Christmas without you. Doesn't that bother you at all?"

Growling, Kurt pushes up, "Doesn't it bother you at all that your family also includes me, and I never have a say in anything that goes on? Doesn't it bother you at all that you are breaking tradition by going on this little…vacation? Doesn't it bother you at all that I'm not happy? Does it, Dad?"

"Now wait just a second, Kurt!" Burt says standing up and pointing a finger in his direction. "You don't have a right to get in my face and yell at me over this, when you haven't made any effort at all to embrace Carol and Finn into our lives. Now I haven't said much about it, but this is getting ridiculous!" Burt shouts, causing Kurt to look completely shocked. "Carol and Finn have done their best to integrate themselves into our lives, but you treat them as if they're a nuisance. Hell, Carol made Tuna Noddle Casserole and you acted like it was the most disgusting thing you've ever seen!"

"That's because it was," Kurt shot back. "She put corn in it. Who puts corn in Tuna Noodle Casserole?"

"Your step-mother that cared enough to fix you something for dinner does. And as a good person, you would at least have acted appreciative of it, but no. You refused dinner and stomped off, leaving her wondering what she did wrong and I had to listen to her cry for over an hour!"

Embarrassed, Kurt says in a considerably smaller voice, "Well I didn't mean to make her cry."

Not acknowledging that statement, Burt continues, "The bitching and moaning like a spoiled five year old is enough, and you know what? You should stay here, since apparently the family that loves you isn't worth spending time with on Christmas."

"Dad, but…" Kurt tries, eyes blinking rapidly. His dad had never been so harsh before. What was going on? What did Carol and Finn do to make it where Burt doesn't listen to him anymore?

"No, Kurt," Burt says through gritted, "Carol is my wife and Finn is your step brother. They are a part of your family whether you want them to be or not. And you seem to have forgotten the meaning of being a family is entirely! So, you shouldn't come and spoil it for the rest us, unless you can somehow remember in the next three days how to act like a person who loves the people who loves and accepts him."

Kurt choked on his tears. This wasn't supposed to happen, his dad was supposed to call the whole thing off and stay!

On a weary sigh, Burt whispers, noticeably sad, "I'm so disappointed in you."

Kurt is left wondering when his life changed without his consent.

~K&P~

Christmas time sucked.

Noah Puckerman has always thought that. Because A) he's Jewish and doesn't celebrate it but still has to put up with annoying fuckers like Santa Claus, and B) because it means he's alone while all of his friends are off with their families doing shitty family things.

Puke.

He does family things too. In fact, he's doing a family thing right now – listening to his baby sister's god awful music from Hannah-what's-her-name and not saying a damn word about it.

But Puck is a social creature. Being cut off from social things is like cutting him off from oxygen or… something equally fatal. How could anyone expect him to be okay with being pathetically alone? It was fucking unnatural! Hell, he had even completed his Holiday assignments already! (Not that he would say that to anyone, he is a badass and doesn't do homework no matter how much his life sucks.)

He wonders if this is what dying slowly feels like: staring at his…well…sort of white ceiling, being deafened by a Disney mutant, and cut off from the realm of the living. He had a sudden urge to check and see if men in white lab coats were outside of his house, because he was going to go insane, he was sure of it!

So to say he was overjoyed to hear his cell phone ring, would be an understatement. However, if anyone asked him such a question, he'd vehemently deny it. He still had some pride, after all.

"Go for Puck," he said as calmly as he could into the phone.

"Puck," Finn's voice filtered through, "I have a favor to ask of you, dude."

Sitting up with a huge smile at the prospect of getting out of his house, he rushes out, "Okay!" Then realizing how excited that sounded, he cleared his throat and tried again, "I, mean, what's up?"

"It's Kurt, man; he's not coming with us to the cabin we rented up in Fremont. Apparently, Burt and him got into a big fight." His best friend sounded all sad and shit.

Puck sighed, and asked, sounding very suspicious, "Well, what exactly do you want me to do about it, Hudson?"

"Umm," there was a pause, "I was kinda hoping you'd check on him, you know…make sure he's okay being alone over Christmas?"

"Ah, hell to the no," Puck replies with a scoff, no matter how lonely he got, he would NEVER resort to that!

"Puck," Finn groaned, "this is my brother we're talking about, dude!"

"Step-brother…" the irritated teen corrected.

"Whatever, I would do it for your sister."

Puck snorted, "I'd never ask you to babysit my sister. She's ten. She can take care of her fucking self, and you're step-brother is seventeen or something…he's certainly able to take care of his fucking self!"

"Look, I'm not asking you to babysit him, Jesus. I just want you to check in on him every once in a while. Make sure he's okay, you know? I'm worried about him. He seemed really upset." And yes, Puck noted with an amused smirk, that was a hint of a whine.

He snaps out of it quickly though, "It's still no. If he's seriously that suicidal, slip him some happy pills or give him a bottle of jack. He'll be fine."

"I can't believe you're being so heartless on Christmas, Puck."

"I don't celebrate Christmas, douche," Puck replied with a minor growl. "I'm Jewish, remember?"

"Then I can't believe you're being so heartless on…what's your Jewish version of Christmas again?"

Puck groaned and slapped his forehead, falling backwards on his bed, "It doesn't matter, and the answer is still no."

"Fine, I didn't want to resort to this, but you owe me, Puck! You knocked up my girlfriend and made out with my other one, so either you check on Kurt like I asked you very nicely to do…or I'll-I'll smash your Xbox!"

Puck's eyes narrowed to slits, "You wouldn't have the balls."

There's a scoff, "Wanna bet? I gotta lot of pent up anger when it comes to you, bro." Puck considers this as Finn's voice almost turns sing-song, "I wouldn't try me."

There's silence as Puck rolls his eyes and rubs his forehead. He couldn't believe Finnessa was blackmailing him! "Fine," he snarls, "I'll poke around your house for a few days. Ya happy?"

"Very, thank you." And damn if the bastard wasn't smug.

"Yeah, you're fucking welcome. Now fuck off."

Finn laughs. "Merry…Kwanza?" he tries.

"It's Hanukkah, Finn. I'm Jewish, it's Happy Hanukkah! Did you seriously not pay any attention at all to Rachel? I mean, really."

Then he hangs up. Grumbling again at his sucky life as he grabs his coat and truck keys. Time to check on the resident gay boy.

~K&P~

The doorbell ringing was certainly not something Kurt wanted to care about. Anyone that mattered was gone and he was alone. Alone. A state in which he was fine being in, because being alone meant he answered only to himself. He didn't need to listen to his dad's rants about how he wasn't a part of their family, didn't need to think about how he was seventeen and still hadn't had a boy pay attention to him (Besides Karofsky, but could anyone blame him when he said he'd rather forget about that fugly bastard completely?), didn't need to dwell on how or why his life sort of sucked.

No.

When you're alone, there are possibilities!

And he's going to ignore the fact that those possibilities included, for him anyway as he's not that adventurous, baking a variety of cookies that are horribly bad for him and drinking far too much eggnog than could be good for anybody's sanity.

So with that in mind, he goes to the front door, annoyed at having his "alone time" interrupted. Even though secretly, he was kind of glad it was.

And to his surprise the very last person on the face of the earth he would have expected was standing there, looking bored and about ready to bolt. Noah Puckerman. Honestly, Kurt would have guessed Santa Clause before his former bully.

"Puck?" he asks, and can't help that it sounds slightly disgusted. "What are you doing here?"

Puck, for his part, was stunned as well. Stunned for many reasons, in fact. The first one being why in the fuck he allowed himself to be talked into babysitting (he didn't care what the fuck Finn said, this is what it was) Kurt Hummel: his former victim and current nuisance that kept springing up like whack-a-mole. The second one being, Kurt Hummel – the whack-a-mole nuisance – was standing on his front porch with red rimmed eyes, messy hair, flour covered clothes, openly agitated expression plastered across his face, and generally just giving off the vibe that he really was on the verge of offing himself (even if he didn't know it himself yet). The third of these eye opening discoveries that had left him stunned, was that he actually…cared…about it.

"Holy shit," he thinks to himself, looking away suddenly, "I have concerns about Finn's fairy brother. What the fuck?"

Kurt narrowing his eyes and leaning against his doorframe, trying to give the impression that he was getting bored, sighs, "Was there something that you wanted, or are you just here to stare at me for uncomfortably long minutes on my already seriously shitty afternoon?"

That snapped the darker skinned jock back into the present, as he shot his eyes over in the other boy's direction. "I was just…" His first instinct was to tell Kurt that his idiot step-brother had called him, practically begging like a pussy, for him to keep his brother company for a few days; but something held him back. He didn't know what it was exactly. It could have been how pathetically miserable the teen looked. It could have been how Finn had hinted that the pathetically miserable looking teen had gotten into an argument with his father and probably was looking for a hug. It could have even been the three day old burrito he had eaten for breakfast that morning, messing with his head making him think he gave a shit about any of it. But whatever it was, something in his chest area (he would never say in his heart for fuck's sake) was constricting about his appearance, and he kinda-sorta wanted to be the one who made it better.

And not because dumbass Finn told him to.

What? Noah Puckerman was many things, first and foremost of that being a badass, which meant that he was the hero that would take the glory. Not anybody else, okay?

So swallowing and clearing his throat, ignoring Kurt's now extremely pissed expression, he says, "I was just in the neighborhood. Thought I'd, ya know, check-in on you guys and see how your Christmas was going or some shit."

"You don't celebrate, Christmas, Puck. Why would you care?" He snaps a little more harshly than he had intended. But the bigger jock had, unknowingly, prodded at a sore spot that he was trying to bake enough cookies to forget about.

Taken aback by the tone, Puck says a little gruffly himself, "What? Am I not allowed to check-up on my friends?"

Kurt scoffs and pulls away from the doorframe with a shake of his head. "We aren't friends, jackass." That causes Puck to flinch slightly, which made Kurt flinch inside as well. He didn't know why he was lashing out. He had been doing just fine before the boy had knocked on his door and wasted five minutes of his life then proceeded to make him remember why he was trying to create a self-induced sugar coma. So yeah, he was a little touchy. "Unless, of course, the friend you were talking about is Finn; because in that case, I hope you like cabins. He's up in Fremont with my dad and his mother. I'm sure, by now, getting all cozy and talking together about how wonderful it is to be spending time together without me." He was talking at a rapid speed, making grand gestures with hands and making it hard for Noah to keep up with the train of thought. When he tried to say something, Kurt cut him off. "Maybe if you hurry, Noah, you can get there and add in how much of a fag I am, and then all of you can have a great big laugh!"

"Whoa," Puck rushes out before Kurt can continue and walks forward to try and put a comforting hand on his shoulder or something. "What's gotten into you? Your dad loves you!"

Kurt pushes him away, way more forcefully than he would have expected Kurt being capable of. "If he loved me so god damn much, don't you think he would be here, and not in another city with the new family?" He bites out.

"Well," Puck falters. He didn't know what to say to that, as he didn't have the full story; and judging the counter-tenor's semi-manic eyes, he figured any words he said better be chosen carefully.

"Well?" he mocks and laughs to himself to keep himself from crying. "Well that's great." Throwing up his arms dramatically, he lets off a noise that's sounds like a half sob. "Even my former bully who has no father thinks mine that claims to adore me should be here and not leave me alone for the most important holiday of the year!"

"Hey," Puck protests, starting to get angry at Kurt for bringing up his dad so flippantly. He had no right. "Don't start talking about my dad! You don't know anything about me, Hummel."

Snorting and turning to Puck with a mean expression, just wanting someone else to hurt as much as he was, "Face it, Puck. Your dad didn't love you. That's why he left you. It's just like mine."

Growling, feeling exposed for the first time in years and not liking it at all, Puck replies, "Shut the fuck up! You should be kissing your dad's feet for how wonderful he treats you. So you're alone on Christmas. Big fucking deal! Grow the fuck up and realize the world doesn't revolve around you. Maybe that's what your dad wants you to learn. That life isn't only about you."

Biting on his tears and hating that the former bully was repeating what his father had said just a few hours prior…albeit a little more crudely…Kurt made a noise of frustration and went back inside with a slam of the door. Ignoring Puck's shout of 'Well, fine then.'

~K&P~

"So…" Rachel drawls as she helps Noah's mother mix some batter for latkes, "…you basically called him a horrible human being and now you are asking us why he slammed the door in your face, Noah?"

Everybody knows that the Jewish community is very small in Lima, Ohio. So the fact that one Rachel Berry is over at his house helping his mother fry cakes for Hanukkah isn't exactly a surprise. However, that didn't mean it was exactly a welcome regularity either. It just meant that he had another gossipy Jewish woman to bitch at him. Because, you see, the problem with being a Jewish man, is the fact that you are surrounded with Jewish women who are all, like, psychically linked or something to make sure you suffer. Seriously. He's been putting up with it his whole life. Noah sighs. "I didn't call him a horrible human being, Rachel."

His mother snorts as she starts up the frying pan, shaking her head. "You may as well have," she supplies, dropping a cake in the pan.

Rachel shook her head at him as she put the spoon down to grab some salt, "I think what Kurt needs right now is a friend. He and his dad never argue, and if this argument led to his dad leaving him at home alone and for Christmas, no less?" She sends him a significant look, "Then he is probably not coping very well."

"But, Rach, this is Kurt we're talking about!" Noah insists, slumping down into a kitchen chair. "We have nothing in common! And, you know, I tried the whole 'superhero!Puck' thing. I got why I'm a loser for my trouble. And let me just say, coming from Kurt? It stung like a bitch."

"Language," his mother drops another cake into the oil and continues, "Noah, baby, it sounds to me like this Kurt boy is hurting, and like Rachel said is looking for a friend."

"But like I said Ma, I tried. He made it very clear he didn't want me around."

"But maybe you didn't try hard enough," she countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Or Noah did as he usually does and pissed him off," his little sister Sarah says, coming in to join the party Noah is obviously not invited to.

"Language, children," his mother chastises, "but she may be right. What did you say to him, exactly?"

"Well," Noah starts, leaning back in his chair, "I may or may not have left off that Finn sent me there."

"Why would you do that?" Rachel asks, taking a water bottle from Sarah. "Kurt needs to know his family loves him, and besides that's lying!"

Noah rolls his eyes at her, "Kurt didn't have very many nice things to say about his family." He replies. "Honestly, he had the attitude that if he never saw Finn or Carole again, it'd be too soon."

"So?" Sarah interjects, flipping her dark hair over shoulder, "You think that of me all the time. We're a family, we hate each other sometimes. It's normal."

Their mother sighs again as she flips one of the cakes, "We don't hate each other, Sarbear."

She snorts, "Um, yeah, sometimes I really hate him. But he's my brother. If we don't fight, then it wouldn't be any fun."

"Love you too," Noah smirks.

Rachel laughs along with them. "Sometimes my dads and I fight, but that doesn't mean I don't wish to see them again. Kurt is just adjusting to a new family and learning to let go of things and compromise. What he needs is someone who will help him know that it's okay to feel unhappy about some things, but that change is good."

"Not always," Sarah interrupts with a smirk. "The whole Quinn and making me an aunt thing wasn't good and it was change."

"Well," Rachel obviously didn't know what to say to that and Noah just glares at Sarah. The last thing he wants to talk about was Beth.

"Sarah," his mother warns and takes a cake out of the pan. "If what Finn said is true, then I would imagine he would be very upset right now and didn't mean to lash out at you."

"Not that you don't exactly deserve it," Rachel eyes him and handed his mother a plate.

"I've apologized for throwing him in dumpsters, Berry," Noah scrubs his face with a hand and fights the coming headache.

His mother looks up at him then, "Wait just a minute." Puck groaned. Here it comes. "Noah Elijah Puckerman, did you throw that poor boy into dumpsters?"

Rachel and Sarah start laughing and Puck resists the urge to slam his forehead down on the table. Growling, he stands up to leave the room, ignoring his mother's calls with a, "Thanks, Rachel," tossed over his shoulder.

He'd just have to figure the shit out himself.

~K&P~

As it turns out, baking cookies did shit for making you feel better.

In fact, Kurt felt worse.

Because now his dad didn't love him and he was eating his sorrows away with sugary sweets that were going make his hips huge. Sigh.

Staring at the ceiling fan, draped across his couch with cookie crumbs everywhere, he makes a decision. Sitting up, he chokes back the after taste of eggnog. Okay, make that two decisions. First one being, no more cookies and eggnog; second, no more feeling sorry for himself! It hasn't gotten him anywhere besides needing a maid service for the mess of his depression and possibly a personal trainer.

Sigh again.

He walks into the kitchen with his glass and plate, choosing to ignore the already large stack of dishes in the sink by just putting the stuff on top. He'd do them later. It wasn't like there was anyone around to see them anyway.

Going back into the living room, he heads for the stereo. So what if his dad wasn't around to celebrate Christmas the way they always had? It didn't mean that Kurt was going to start breaking tradition. No more feeling sorry for himself, right? So he switches on their Bing Crosby Christmas album and lets off a smile – the first in a day. It felt really good.

Two hours later found him with a tree assembled and decorations going up, not yet done. If Kurt felt a pang of guilt when he hung up the ornament he made when he was five that read, "Best Dad Ever!" he ignored it. He hadn't done anything wrong. He had been sticking up for what he wanted. That isn't wrong…is it? Putting the finishing touches on the tree, Kurt thinks back. It had seemed like the entire world was going to end, but now…now he felt like it was okay again. It might be the majestic beauty of their tree – no matter how artificial it might be – it was cleansing for his soul. It brought back memories of years long since passed full of laughter, joy, and presents. It brought back the feeling of love and life he missed through the year he's had, that has otherwise been filled with terror and abandonment.

Okay, abandonment might be stretching it a little far, but it still made the point.

However, it also made him think of someone else.

Noah Puckerman.

So he did kinda…sorta feel bad for how he treated him earlier; bringing up what was most certainly more painful for the former jock than he's ever let anyone know. It was wrong, and he did deserve the other teen to lash back at him. Not to mention, Puck was only trying to help and did make the effort to try and make him feel better by reminding him that his dad loves him more than anything, even though he didn't have to…so…shit.

Kurt was going to have to apologize wasn't he?

That was going to be the most painful thing he's ever done in his life; and now that he thought about, he didn't even know where the jock lived. And, yeah, It wasn't like the two of them were the best of buddies and hung out all the time. So it wasn't like he was exactly expected to know where Puck lived. But it did add insult to injury, when he really really thought about how Puck went out of his way to check on everybody and Kurt couldn't even be bothered with knowing where the other guy hailed from.

So, that was going to be a problem. Shit…again.

~K&P~

He doesn't know why he's standing here again. Honestly, after the conversation he had with his mom and stuff yesterday, he had given up. It's stupid for him to be here right now, it's fucking Kurt! But he did promise stupid ass Finn to make sure he doesn't commit suicide, so in good conscience, he can't not show up.

Fuck!

Fuck him and his new morality rules since Juvie! Being a delinquent that didn't give a shit about anyone was so much easier.

He raises his hand to knock on the door, when suddenly it swings open, revealing the teen in question; and Puck freezes. (No seriously, he leaves his hand in the air and everything.)

Kurt, for his part, is shocked as well. He didn't expect Puck to come back, and after a long discussion with himself, decided to just wait and apologize when they go back after the first. But it appears the decision was made for him. Now with the guy in front him, Kurt really doesn't know what to say, besides, "Oh, hi, Puck."

Puck swallows and drops his hand, feeling awkward and forgetting how to speak. Why was apologizing to someone so much work? "Hi," he eventually says.

Kurt nods his head a little…or was he jerking it out of nervousness? Neither one of them could be sure.

They're silent for a minute or two, debating on how to apologize to each other. And yes, it was such a foreign idea that they had to spend time figuring it out. Not to mention Kurt had thought he would avoid this problem by just passing a quick "sorry" over his shoulder when they go back to school. It wasn't like the bigger jock truly cared all that much about it right? And Puck, well, he was just afraid of opening his mouth and causing a repeat of yesterday where Kurt turned into a psycho-babbler that looked as if he was about ready to stab someone…or himself. Shudder.

So…

"I'm sorry," they both say in unison.

Kurt blushes and Puck ducks his head, biting his lip to hold in a laugh. They look up, and for the first time they meet each other's eyes. Puck slowly smiles when he sees Kurt's green eyes shift into a more warm looking emerald, and Kurt smiles back when he feels Puck loosen up on his obvious discomfort. Then they laugh together. They were being ridiculous.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Puck," Kurt says first this time.

Puck nods, "And I'm sorry I said that you think the world revolves around you."

"You were sort of right, though," Kurt replies and shifts from foot to foot.

Confused, Puck asks, "About what?"

"That I think the world revolves around me," Kurt tells him, solemnly. "My dad and I got into an argument and we said some things that had to do with that, so that's why I'm alone over Christmas."

Puck nods his understanding. He had already known that Kurt and his dad had gotten into an argument, but didn't want to say as much. Then Kurt would think he was spying on him or something. He really should have said the truth from the beginning. Shit. Now he was starting to feel guilty.

"Lying never works, Noah. You know better," a voice suspiciously sounding like Rachel echoes in his head.

"Get of my head, Rachel! Haunt someone else!" he says back, glowering at the intensified feeling of guilt in his stomach.

There's a sigh, "But Noah, you lied. You wanted Kurt to like you because you act like his hero that saves him from darkness; but now, you're stuck. This will only come back around and hurt you even worse than even Kurt."

"You don't know shit! I'm not gonna get hurt! I don't feel anything for this dude to get hurt," he mentally hisses back. "You are sounding more insane than usual!"

"Mark my words, Noah. You will regret your lie."

And with that her voice is gone, and Puck can't help but feel confused. Get hurt? Him? Why the ever loving fuck would that happen? He would have to fall for Kurt for that to happen, and everyone knew that was impossible! He resists the urge to laugh.

"So, umm," Kurt continues, not noticing Puck's faraway look, "you wanna come inside? It's pretty cold out here, and it was really nice of you to come back, even though I was really mean to you."

That sent a shiver through his body, and snapped him back to the present. Yeah, Kurt was right, it was cold.

"Mark my words, Noah. You will regret you're lie."

Puck smiles, shaking the voice off, and replies, "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

And together they crossed the threshold, wondering what would happen on the other side.

~K&P~

Noah Puckerman couldn't believe it. He was in complete hysterics with Kurt Hummel. Did he get lost in some alternate universe or something? A universe where he agreed to watch a movie – no, wait – a musical (Phantom of the Opera, no less) with his former victim, just to keep him company and then did what friends do together and talked through the whole thing with an added commentary? Which is why he is currently killing himself with laughter because, hey, he thinks his version of the ending is sooo much better than the real one.

"And then," Noah hiccups, "Raoul looks at Christine and says," he laughs some more as Kurt is wiping tears from his cheeks from laughing so hard himself, "we've been lying to you this whole time. The Phantom and I are actually engaged in a wildly hot affair and are now going to run off into the sunset and make creepy looking monster babies together!" He makes some lewd gestures, "We are redefining riding off into the sunset. Which is right about the time that the little musical elves come out and they all sing If You Were Gay."

Kurt about falls off the couch with that. He himself was in complete shock that he was actually enjoying himself. Through some panting breaths and intermittent laughter, Kurt gasps, "You are sick, you know that? That doesn't even make sense!" Noah just laughs harder as Kurt pulls himself into a sitting position, trying to get himself under control. "The Phantom of the Opera is one of the most tragically beautiful love stories of all time! That song is from Avenue Q, and how would they make babies anyway?"

"So?" Noah practically snorts. "It's a musical isn't it? I'm sure Raoul doesn't mind the Phantom making him gay over and over again with lots of magical puppets singing about how much he enjoys it. And there would be some magical mojo shit that the fluffy puppets put on him that makes Raoul pop out a kid! It makes total sense!"

They look at each other in silence before one of them chuckles and they start all over again, though neither one of them know why that's so funny. In fact, it really wasn't at all. After a few more minutes of this, both of them start to wind down. Kurt looks at the clock on the DVD player; it was just after eleven in the morning. Wow. Did he seriously just spend close to three hours with Puck? And it didn't suck? The reality of what was going on was starting to sink in. Huh. He really did.

"So," the boy in question says on a deep breath, obviously coming down from earlier, "Whatcha wanna do next?"

He grins over at Kurt, and the paler boy just rolls his eyes, fighting a grin himself. "And what makes you think I'm not just going to just kick you out now?"

"Because," Noah replies as if it were obvious.

"Because?" he counters with a raised eyebrow.

Scooting closer to the counter-tenor, he smirks, "Because I happen to be very good company!" Puck laughs at Kurt's face that's pulling between annoyance and amusement.

Kurt rolls his eyes, "You sure are full of yourself, aren't you?"

Noah nods happily, "Have to be. I'm a stud, remember?"

"A stud that enjoys musicals and laughing about gay sex," Kurt counters with a snort and stands, heading for the kitchen.

"Hey," Puck calls and gets up to follow, "there's nothing wrong with gay sex. It's sex! And sex feels good, you know?"

Kurt stands against the counter, suddenly very aware of where he was and who he was with. Puck was looking at him like he was supposed to say something, but he didn't really know what that was. Is he supposed to agree? It's not like he knows if it is or not, and from the stretched silence, Puck seems to catch on that something is wrong.

"What is it?" He asks carefully, "Am I wrong?"

Kurt shakes his head. "I don't know, Puck."

Now the darker skinned teen looks confused, "What do you mean you-oh." Well maybe, he isn't as thick-skulled as he pretends to be. "Oh. Umm. This is awkward."

And yes, Kurt observes with a snort, it is.

"Well," Puck starts, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "it's okay. You haven't done the deed, it's not like the end of the world or something."

Kurt fixes him with a mild glare, "You act like it's the end of the world if you haven't had sex in more than three days as you bitch and moan about it to everyone."

He glares back but then shrugs it off. "Sex can be awesome; but in some ways it's totally overrated. And you seem like the type that cares about all the feelings and shit, which is totally cool. But for me? I've had a lot of struggle with figuring it out." Kurt seems curious and Puck turns for their fridge, helping himself to a water bottle. "Whoa, what's with all the eggnog, dude? Were you spiking it or something?"

Kurt just ignores that. Puck doesn't need to know what level of pathetic he resorted to for a day. "What did you mean by struggle?"

Closing the fridge door, Puck shrugs, "I've had a lot of sex, Kurt. At first it was because I thought it would make me cool. And then it was because it didn't necessarily make me cool but it made me more than just a loser…and then it was because I felt like a loser. A loser that has sex, because he's trying to find someone that cares about him; but the thing is the more sex you have with different people…the less people care about you."

"That's," Kurt pauses, taking it in, "surprisingly very insightful."

Puck sits down at the small kitchen table and nods, "Thought a lot about it, you know? Realized at seventeen I shouldn't have this many notches in my bedpost. I should just be starting to figure this shit out. But everybody's got baggage, Kurt, and feeling like I'm worthless every once and a while just happens to be mine."

"You aren't though," Kurt tells him, sitting across from him. "A loser wouldn't ever figure it out."

"Well, I haven't fully yet," Puck takes a swig of his water. "But I know it's about more than the action itself. That last make-out session with Rachel really got me thinking…like, 'Is this what I want out of life? To be known as the slut or man-whore or whatever? I've got all these friends who have these big dreams and mine seem to always revolve around my dick.' And really, it's just not cool anymore."

Kurt watches him swallow some more. "That seems to me like you're pretty close to figuring yourself out."

Noah laughs, "Maybe, but does anybody ever really figure it out? There's a song, a country song that really says it all in a nutshell. That life is a dance, and you'll learn as you go."

"Life's a dance, you learn as you go," Kurt sings with a little playful smile, recognizing what Puck was talking about.

Puck grins, singing along, "Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow."

Together they finish the chorus, "Don't worry about what you don't know, cause life's a dance, you learn as you go."

Puck laughs, "Yeah, John Michael Montgomery. I'm surprised you know that song."

"Why?"

"Well, no offence, but you seem to be all about either Broadway or Pop. Not classic country rock," Puck shrugs.

"You forget I sang John Cougar Mellencamp last year," Kurt grins. "I'm quite a bit more musically rounded than you think. I mean, I'd have to be. I have a mechanic for a fath-…" before he finishes, his smile drops and his heart clenches. Wow. It hurts just as much as it had before.

Concerned, Puck looks at him, "You wanna talk about it?"

Kurt swallows, "It seems only fair, huh? Since you spilled your insecurities."

Puck sat back, bristling with that. He wasn't insecure, he was just…afraid of ending up alone. That's not insecurity. Shut up, it's not!

"I guess," Kurt goes on, unaware of Noah's mood change, "it started when I got my dad and Carole together. At the time, it seemed like a great idea, but then when my reason for why I got them together fizzled out and I reflected on how weird it was to begin with…I guess I just started resenting things."

Puck nods, "Okay, resenting what exactly?"

"Just things," He replies with a frustrated sigh. "At first it felt like Finn was taking my dad away from me. And after we settled that, I think the feeling of being pushed to the side stuck with me. Because all I started noticing was what was wrong in my life since Finn and Carole got involved. So then it became, 'Why does Finn always get to pick our Friday Night Dinner Movie?' and 'Why is Carole making my favorite meal – Tuna Noodle Casserole – and Dad's not saying anything about the corn she put in it? It is ruining how my mom always made it for me and he's just sitting there like nothing is wrong! He knows how much this means to me!'" He looks over at Puck, tears filling his eyes. "And from there the resentment and jealousy and stuff just turned into anger. And I wound up hurting people I really love, even though I didn't actually mean to."

"I understand," Puck says and starts picking the label on his water bottle. "The problem is you don't like change. You like control, and when controlling things doesn't work you start looking for reasons to hate something or someone. Trying to sabotage what really makes you happy, just because you don't like the unknown. It's too scary for you."

"I'm not a control freak," Kurt says, offended. Puck raises an eyebrow. "I'm not!"

"Okay, say I believe you," he replies, leaning forward. "Say you aren't controlling. Then why did you put Carole with your dad?"

"Because it -…" he stops, not wanting to reveal too much about that. It was still embarrassing. "Because it seemed like a good idea at the time," he finally restated. "I mean, not that it wasn't a good idea but-…"

Puck cuts him off. "But it didn't work out as you planned it. You see? There's the problem. You planned it, Kurt. You made the decision yourself, by yourself, and then wanted to control the outcome. But unfortunately, life won't ever work that way. Life? It's nothing but fucking change and pain and heartache. And I mean, you over there can sit and sing about it, understand it even, one minute…but then turn around and forget about it in the next. Just because it means you would have to give up control over your life. Because you want that fact to be the rule that applies to everyone but you," Puck finishes his speech with a finger pointed in Kurt's direction.

"You don't get it, Puck!" Kurt burst out, standing up, aggravated.

"I don't get what?" he counters coolly.

"I have had to do nothing but anticipate my life! And yes, planning what's going to happen next, makes it a hell of a lot easier," Kurt growls and starts pacing.

"Why have you had to anticipate your life?"

"My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was six years old!" He yells. "I had to learn what death was way before anyone should. I had to wake up every morning wondering if that was the day that would be the last day I would ever get to see her smile at me," he stops and then lets off a quiet sob. Puck sat, fascinated and…actually feeling sorry for the other boy. He knows what's like to lose the one you love and not have a say in it. "And from there, you know…everything…it just got worse."

"Kurt," Puck sighs, "I don't want to piss you off. But don't you think it's time to let some things go?"

"Like what?" he challenges, wiping at his eyes and nose.

"Like that for instance," he states, gesturing at him, then clarifying, "your mother's death. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. It was fucking cancer's fault. It's was fucking life's fucking sucky luck's fault. But applying it to the rest of your life, thinking you have to just be consistently waiting for the other shoe to drop, will do nothing but hurt you."

"How would you know?" He snarls, panting, hating the tears that are bubbling over.

Puck pauses, taking a deep breath, "I know because my dad left when I was ten, and I've thought the same things. I've had to learn to accept things as just what they are. Life's a dance, remember? Sometimes you're going to fall. Sometimes you're really not going to want to get back up," Puck tells him seriously. "But every time you do, as long as you let it make you stronger, you'll learn. You'll learn and you'll do it better next time. You'll learn to accept change and want the new and exciting stuff." Kurt shook his head, feeling another sob rip through him. "But if you let it beat you? All you're going to become, and all you're ever going to be is angry."

"All I am right now is angry," Kurt whispers. "I am so angry and hurt and upset and…I just don't understand why life is never nice to me, Puck. Why do I have to be gay and picked on? Why do I have to pretend that their insults don't hurt? How come I had to lose my mom? How come I can't be like everyone else and just fit in, for once?"

Puck stands and walks over to the teen, standing tense against the counter top, hands clutching the sides. "I don't know," He whispers. "But I do know that your dad doesn't deserve to be the person you take that anger out on. Neither does Finn or Carole."

"I don't want to be angry," Kurt sobs, taking deep shuddering breaths.

"Then don't be," Puck says simply. "Just stop being angry. Let it go. Love your life the way it is and the people that's in it. Let yourself feel blessed to be where you're at. Because, god, Kurt. It's so much easier than letting it fester in you. Eventually you're gonna explode and end up like me. So angry at my life that I drank too much whisky and decided that driving my mom's Volvo through a 7/11 window was a good idea, since my life didn't matter all that much. But I was wrong, and so are you! Give the new and exciting things a chance. It may even surprise you."

Kurt looks up at Puck, feeling like he's looking at him with whole new eyes. And wow, he truly is surprised. Puck is so much more than what he thought. He feels his heart flutter for the first time in a long time. And this time it feels a little more solid than it did with Finn or Sam. It feels like he isn't making the wrong choice. That he's actually learning from his mistakes…it was an amazing feeling. "When did you get so smart?"

Puck smirks and leans forward to whisper in his ear, their cheeks brushing together, "I'm a badass, remember?"

And with that the spell is broken with their chuckles. Kurt feels Puck start pulling back, in more than just the physical, and he sighs inwardly. "Are you hungry?" he asks him, wanting to busy his hands, and let go of the sudden tension brought on by his newfound feelings and drying tears.

"Nah," he was walking into the next room when he finished with, "but I was thinking we could maybe try a snowball fight?"

Kurt was stunned as he follows, "A what? Are you kidding?"

Puck fixes him with a serious look, "I never kid about snowball fights."

Kurt looks skeptical, but goes for his thick coat and mittens anyway. Oh well. It could be fun…

~K&P~

It turned out, that it was fun. He didn't know if Puck had let him win, but pelting the bigger teen with rounded balls of snow was very cathartic.

*"Okay-okay!" Puck panted, chuckling as Kurt continued to wail him with snow. "You fucking win! Stop!"

"Never," Kurt had cackled and then let Puck take him to the ground, not stopping his laughter.*

It had been a lot of fun, which seemed to be the going theme for the whole day. After playing in the snow for a while longer, making snow angels and a snow man that was complete with sticks for arms and eyes…

*"Hey," Puck had protested at Kurt's snicker when he assembled the twigs in what was supposed to be eye sockets, "it's not like either of us have coal. And I'm not used to doing this kinda Christmas shit."

Kurt just snorted and walked back to the front door of his house.*

…they settled on the couch with a cup of hot cocoa and The Year without a Santa Claus, playing in the background on the TV.

Kurt had sighed as he felt the heat spread through his mouth, while listening to Mister Heat Miser's song about how he's Mister Hot Christmas. The irony had made him snort the liquid through his nose and Puck to laugh at his expense while handing him napkins.

And then, by dinner time, Kurt thought with no small sense of surprise, that he didn't want Puck to leave. He was enjoying their time together. Their laughing and how different Noah is from who he thought the other boy was. It was making his heart start to warm and joy to settle in his soul. He didn't want to give that up and have to face the possibility of it being gone tomorrow or by the time they start school again.

And yes, that may be completely unrealistic; because the day before there was almost no one on the earth that Kurt would have expected to be able to be around with no feelings of ill will. (Except Karofsky. But moving on.) It was strange to say the least for him; however, he remembered their earlier conversation and smiled. Puck had been so sweet and understanding, not to mention, totally right. He needed to learn to accept change, to embrace the new and exciting. And wow, this Puck? This Puck was making him excited.

"So umm," he began, as How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the Jim Carey version), came to a close, "you staying for dinner?" He sent the bigger teen a shy smile, and played with the rim of his coffee cup that had been previously filled with hot cocoa…hoping he wasn't wrong in his thought process.

Puck glanced over at him, seeming a little surprised. "Uh, yeah, sure…why not?" He stuttered.

For his part, Noah was becoming increasingly worried. The more time he spent with Kurt, the more he realized how amazing the other boy was. How funny he was. How just plain cute he was. It was making his insides turn to mush…and the scariest part was that he didn't want it to stop either. Going into this thing with Kurt, he expected to be stopping in the morning to say hi and going on about his boring business like normal.

Hell! He expected to come by in the morning, practically forced to ask if the counter-tenor was alright while trading insults and mentally punching Finn repeatedly for making him do it all!

But now?

Now it was like a whole other world has opened up to him. Kurt was just…beautiful. Beautiful from the way his cheeks turned red after laughing too hard. Beautiful from the shy smiles he sends when he's not sure what he's supposed to say. Beautiful when he sings along to Christmas song that Puck used to find annoying. And most beautiful when he looks at Noah like he sees a person and not just a pain in his ass. It made Noah Puckerman wish he could be even more to him.

But the possibility of that was extremely slim and let's be honest here…yesterday they hated each other. But the more Noah reflects on that, the more he thinks that's a lie. He's never hated this person. He couldn't. He's too…beautiful.

Wow.

He was going to keep coming back to that word, huh? Yet the biggest problem was he had lied to Kurt. He didn't just stop by because he wanted to see if everyone was okay. And he didn't come back and decide to hang with him because he felt like it. He did it because Finn told him to, threatened him to. Shit. He had to tell Kurt the truth, but telling him the truth meant possibly Kurt being hurt by the fact that initially he didn't care.

Oh fuck! What if Kurt thinks he agreed to prank him or something equally awful? Damn it! How did he get himself in these fucking situations?

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive," Rachel's voice whispered in his ear.

"What would you like?" Kurt asks, hiding his joy and standing.

Puck blanks then answers, "What do you have?"

Kurt bites his lip in thought, "Let me check."

Puck nods with a half forced smile, and then turns around, hissing, "Shut up."

"Was I right? Do you regret your lie?"

"Yes, okay, yes!" Puck sighs. "He's amazing and I was wrong." Then after a beat, he mumbles, "Why am I even talking to you? You're not real!"

"I'm your conscience, Noah. Of course, I am."

"I have you as my conscience?" He replies sarcastically and scrubs a hand over his face. "Did I step in the wrong line when they were handing out consciences? Can I return you?"

"No, and that isn't very nice of you. All I try to do is help."

"Umm," Kurt calls from the kitchen. "I have some hamburger meat. I could make meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

"That sounds great!" Puck tells him, trying to sound calm. "I love…meatloaf."

Okay, there was another lie. Damn it.

"When will you learn?" she says on a sad sort of sigh.

"When will you go way, bitch?" He growls.

Kurt appears next to him, with a confused frown. "I'm sorry?" he asks.

"Not you," he rushes to say. Kurt looks around as if to silently say, "Then who?" and Puck sighs. "Don't worry, it's nobody. Just remembering something I need to do later."

"Oh," Kurt says and shakes it off. "Would you like to help? I don't know how you like your meatloaf."

"You know what?" Puck suggests standing up, "Why don't we just go out? I'll buy you something and we can eat some real food!"

"But I thought you said you wanted-…"

"No, no! Let's go! It'll be fun!" Puck knows he's acting a little crazy, but he needed some fresh air to think. All of these newfound feelings for the other boy, and Rachel's unwelcomed pestering, have made him jittery.

A feeling that Puck doesn't deal very well with.

"Umm, sure. I guess," Kurt says, confused. "Let me, ah, let me just get my coat."

"Yeah, please! Let's go," Puck giggles manically and watches Kurt watching him with a frown. Shit. The other boy knew something was wrong. He just had to make it through dinner and then he can sort it out.

He could do this. No sweat.

~K&P~

Sitting in a booth at McDonald's, Kurt felt awkward. He didn't know what had happened between asking if Puck wanted dinner and being rushed out the door; but whatever it was, the boy couldn't sit still. It was like someone shot him up with caffeine or adrenaline or something of the short that's making him twitchy. He took another bite of his salad and observed Puck picking at his fries before he decides enough is enough.

Putting down his fork, he huffs, "Is it me?"

Puck seeming caught off guard answers, "What?" through mouthful of fries.

"Is it me?" Kurt repeats, irritated. "Did I do something to put you off?"

Puck obviously not comprehending what was going on says again, "What?" Then blinking and swallowing, starts, "What would you have done to put me off? I don't get it."

"Me neither!" the counter-tenor replies fiercely, pushing his plate away. "But one minute we're fine and watching a movie, and then the next there's tension thick enough to cut with a knife, and I have no idea how it got there! What did I say that's made you-you…" he gestures angrily in Puck's direction, "all like that?"

Catching up, Puck sighs and wipes his hand on a napkin, "Look Kurt, it's not what you think."

"Oh really?" the teen challenges. "Because what it looks like to me is you spent an entire day with the gay kid, and now are feeling weird about it but not wanting to say as much."

"What?" Puck sputters. "No. No, not at all! I loved hanging out with you today! It's the most fun I've had in, like, forever!"

"So then what the problem?" Kurt asks, sounding small and hurt. "If you like spending time with me, eating a meal together wouldn't make you uncomfortable."

"Eating with you doesn't make me uncomfortable," Puck insists. "It's not you that's making me uncomfortable it's-…" and he stops, not wanting the truth to slip.

He's been sitting beating himself up is the problem. Rachel (or his conscience, anyway) was totally right. He feels awful. He pulled a douche move and now he has to live with the consequences. But with his newfound feelings for the boy, he doesn't know if they're consequences he can bear to withstand. Not with the fantasy of being able to kiss the rosy lips that have haunted him all day, swinging in the balance. Not with the possibility of having found the person he's been looking for that makes him feel like sex is more than just a lust induced thing people do.

No.

He couldn't give the teen up! He was too selfish.

"…it's…" he mumbles, trying to find a believable lie to tell. And yes, he does hate himself a little more for it. "…I've just got a headache."

Kurt pulled back in his chair, his features warring between concerned and disbelieving. "Oh," he finally says, and nods. "Well I guess we were out in the cold for a while…"

"Yeah," Puck cuts him off. "I just need some Tylenol or something. It's fine." He sniffs for good measure.

Kurt seems to buy it. "Oh…Puck…" he blows air through his lips. Obviously getting upset with himself, "I'm sorry I got mad at you," he tells him with a sad frown. "You don't feel well and here I am accusing you of being a jerk and yesterday I brought up your dad and basically called you an orphan and all you've done these past two days is be wonderful to me!" He rants in one long sentence, blinking back his tears. "I'm such a terrible person! I can't make anyone important to me see how I feel. First my family and now you…"

Puck, feeling his heart sinking, gets up and sits next Kurt – wrapping an arm around his waist and wiping at his face. "Hey, now," he hushes, feeling the weight of Kurt's teary eyes like a thousand pound punch to the gut, "you aren't a terrible anything." I'm the terrible one.

Kurt sniffles shaking his head, "Yeah, I am. I'm awful. I feel so awful for how I treated my dad. And I mean, god, he's so right. My family has done nothing but accept and love me; and when they just ask for me to love them back I can't do it! I lash out. And then you come along and you're nice to me, and I'm feeling bad about myself so I make you feel bad about yourself. Just to make myself feel better, but it didn't make me feel better at all! It made me feel like an even bigger piece of shit!"

Puck looks around, thankful the restaurant was almost empty and the few people in it weren't paying much attention. "Look, why don't we ask for a bag and finish this at your house?" He says hopefully, not wanting to start a scene with Kurt's break down. The break down he's caused.

Kurt seems to get his point and shakes his head again. "I'm done anyway," he sniffles and turns away from the bigger jock, composing himself. "I'm sorry for that," he mumbles.

"It's okay," Puck reassures with a soft smile. "It's been a rough couple of days for you."

"Not enough to warrant an emotional breakdown in the middle of McDonald's," Kurt snorts with a little rub of his nose.

Puck smirks, "You never know, could've been the most interesting part of these people's days."

Kurt sniffled again and let out a laugh that sounded like a sob. "Yay for me then," he sighs. "Glad I'm good for something."

"Don't do that to yourself," Puck insists, turning Kurt's face to his own, staring into the dark green depths and feeling himself drowning. Kurt was captivating him in a way he's never felt before. Sucking, pulling him in from his very essence. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he knew he didn't have the right; but for some reason, he wanted to believe it wouldn't matter. That Kurt would understand. He had to.

"Don't do what?" Kurt breathes across Noah's lips, feeling an invisible tether bringing him closer.

"Don't talk about yourself like that," Noah whispers. "You are good for everything."

And with that their lips meet in a gentle kiss. Sparks fly behind their eyes and their hearts swell with the emotion. Why did it feel so right? A day and a half ago they couldn't stand each other, but some form of magic had changed that. They couldn't get enough.

A subtle clearing of a throat to the side pulled them apart, and they turned to see a sheepish looking blonde girl wearing a uniform staring at them. "Umm," she started, "I don't mean to interrupt, but we're closing in ten minutes for Christmas Eve. I just wanted to let you guys know."

Puck nods for the both of them, taking Kurt's hand. "Yeah-yeah," he says quickly. "No problem. We were leaving anyway."

Kurt grins as he follows him out.

Once outside, Kurt tugs on Puck's hand, feeling bold as he smashes their lips together again. Puck makes a surprised noise and then falls into it, wrapping his strong arms around the small waist.

Kurt felt something wet begging for entrance as it licked along his bottom lip, and he shuddered as he opened his mouth in permission and the questing tongue softly mapped out the inside. Puck was kissing him with reverence, like he was afraid if he pushed too hard he would break; but Kurt wanted more. He wanted so much more. He wanted to lose control. He wanted Puck to be his new and exciting thing he takes chance on. And he wanted it tonight.

Pulling back, Noah breathes, "What exactly are we doing here, Kurt?"

Kurt considers this question and then sends a wicked smile, "Taking your advice."

With a laugh Noah pushes an eager Hummel away from him for a second to clarify. "Are you sure about this?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'm not. That's what makes it so great."

Puck groans when he feels kisses pepper his neck. The lust rushing through both of their veins was making them dizzy.

"Ah, baby, I want you to show me what it's like to embrace the new and exciting."

Licking his lips to savor the taste of Kurt and feeling like his body was on fire, Puck whispers with a smile, "Okay, babe."

~K&P~

Bursting through the door, all there is to be heard is the sounds of moans and opening of clothes. The two teens struggle with closing the door and tripping down the small step from the entry that leads into the living room because Puck is trying to kick his pants off. Kurt laughs when he lands on top him hearing his ooumphf.

Noah glares before turning Kurt onto his back and settling his still half jean clad hips between his thighs. "You laughing at me?" he sexily growls into the hollow of his almost lover's throat.

Kurt tilts his head to give better access and gasps when soft lips restart what they were doing earlier out in the restaurant parking lot. "Ooooh," he moans, "maybe…maybe I find you funny."

"Mmm-hmm," Noh mumbles, "maybe I find you sexy." He licks down the half unbuttoned chest and starts working the shirt further open. "Very sexy."

"You're just saying that cause you want in my pants," Kurt laughs again and then groans when the same velvet soft lips close around his nipple.

"You…are very…bold…for a…virgin," Puck says licking around the dusty pink nipple, before sucking it into his mouth and rolling it around.

Opening his legs a little wider, gasping at the dual sensations of having Puck's erection pressing against his own and having his nipple be tortured so sweetly, all Kurt can do pant and grasp Puck's head to keep him put. He doesn't know what's come over him. Not too many hours ago he was the biggest blushing virgin there ever was, but now it was as if he had flipped a switch and turned into a wanton slut. Surprisingly, he doesn't hate the change.

"God, Kurt," Puck groans and opens the shirt wider. "You are so responsive," he says against the milky white chest, kissing his way to the other nipple.

Licking his way over, Puck grinds his hips down; reveling in the little whimper he gets in return. The voice of his conscience is long gone. He doesn't care that this is wrong of him, because it can't be wrong. It feels too right. Kurt will understand why he lied.

They go on this way for a few minutes. Puck continues his expert nipple torture and Kurt continues encouraging him, until they're both mostly naked feeling their hardness pressing against one another. It isn't until Puck lets himself be pushed on his back that he remembers where they are. In the entry. On the floor.

Putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders, ignoring his whines of protest, he sits up, "Where's your room?"

Kurt's eyes are blown with lust and damn, to Puck he looks so amazing. Lips kiss swollen, chest covered in saliva and love bites, dick standing at a proud nine or ten inches…and fuck if that last one wasn't a huge surprise (pun intended). He didn't know Hummel all this time had been packing. But Kurt takes a minute to catch up to the question, before he blinks his eyes and stands up.

"Oh, right," he says, dazed, "This way." The smaller (or not so much smaller) boy took him by the hand led him quickly through the house to his basement room, all but throwing him across the bed once he got there. Puck holds back his laughter as he bounces and Kurt settles on top of him. The counter-tenor slowly runs his hands across the broad shoulders and scrapes his manicured nails down the chest, reveling in the little red marks left over. Puck moans and bucks his hips. "God, Noah," Kurt breaths across his nipple, "how are you so hot?"

The tan teen doesn't respond, just loses himself to the wetness of the flat tongue in between his pecs. When the teeth scrape down his nipple he can't help but throw his head back. "Fuck Kurt," he groans. "You sure you're a fucking virgin?"

His answer is a giggle and a kiss to his navel. Noah shakes his head before dragging the boy up and flipping them over.

"Shit, Puck, I want you," he growls and yanks his head down for a kiss.

"Not as much as I need you, baby," he whispers back settling between the open thighs.

He takes his time prepping Kurt's tiny hole, wondering how in the world he was going to fit his eleven inch prick inside it. Kurt had his legs spread as wide as they could go and Noah couldn't help but want to make it last. The sounds that came from Kurt's mouth were like a cleansing spell placed over him. The boy was so pure and special, feeling him from the inside made Puck himself feel touched on the inside. In his…heart. Yeah, now he can say it. Kurt has somehow moved him in his heart.

He can easily see himself falling in love with this perfect creature. Can see a future with children and happiness and sex. Lots and lots of sex, if Puck would have anything to say about it. And when he finally seats himself inside, balls deep with Kurt's big doe eyes staring back at him as if he's supposed to be there, destined to be there, he finally understands what making love is supposed to feel like.

Perfection.

However, neither one of them had noticed the red blinking light on the answering machine in the living room.

~K&P~

Waking up with his face pressed against something firm but soft, put a smile on Kurt's face. It's Christmas, and his present is a six foot jock. How lucky could one be? Sitting up he winces. The pain wasn't unbearable, but it certainly wasn't overly comfortable either. It put a warm feeling in his chest. Last night, he took a chance and experienced the new and exciting without controlling it…and it was utterly satisfying.

He carefully got up and put on his robe. He would make them breakfast. After a night like this, you make breakfast, right? Heading into the kitchen, he yawns and stretches a little. The past two days have been a whirlwind of things he never would have expected. From getting left behind by his family to sleeping with a boy that had never been on his list of possible candidates to pop his cherry…but oh well. From where he was standing, life was beautiful.

Turning on his coffee pot, he smiles. "I wonder if Noah drinks coffee?" he muses out loud.

He walks into the living room and looks at all of the strewn clothes and his smile turns slightly dirty. His ass throbs from the remembered pain/pleasure and he starts to pick up when he sees the answering machine blinking.

"Huh," he mumbles and pushes the button, absently.

"Hey, Kurt," it's Finn's voice. That gives him pause to take a deep breath. The pain of his dad leaving him behind isn't that bad anymore. He understands what his dad wanted him to learn, and in fact, he's happy it happened. Because then he never would have had such an amazing time with Noah. "Obviously you're out somewhere. I was just calling to see how you were doing. I, uh, I tried your cell first, but you didn't pick up. I figured you either forgot it or you didn't wanna talk to me…I'm hoping it wasn't the last one."

Kurt frowned and walked over to the couch. Sure enough his iPhone was in between the cushions and reading one missed call.

"But anyway, Mom and your Dad say Merry Christmas. Burt kinda figured you wouldn't wanna hear it from him because you're probably still mad."

Kurt sat down hearing that, feeling some shame settle in his soul.

"I told him that was stupid, but whatever. Call him if he's wrong, okay? He really misses you."

Kurt nods his head as if Finn were here, deciding that was a priority.

"Oh and uh, have you seen Puck?"

"What?" Kurt asks no one in particular. Why would Finn be asking about him?

"I told him to check in on you every once in a while but I haven't heard from him." Kurt drops his phone.

"What?" he asks again feeling a sob start in his chest. Noah-Puck lied? Puck never cared to come check on his friends…it was because Finn told him to come around.

"So I'm starting to wonder if the reason I haven't heard from either of you is because you killed each other…which would totally suck. And if you haven't seen him then I'm gonna have to smash his Xbox like I told him I would, cause getting him to even want to check on you was hard enough…oh, I probably shouldn't have said that, huh?"

Kurt bit his lip to hold in his tears. Finn had to threaten him. Puck lied. It was all a game. Everything he said in the kitchen about only wanting to have sex if it meant something and learning how to let go…it was all a ploy to get in his pants. And he fell for it. Hook, line and sinker. Just like every other person that's been in the bastard's bed.

"So umm, on that note, I'll let you go. I hope you had a good day and aren't too lonely. It isn't the same here without you. I love you brother. Call me. Beee-eep."

As it clicked off, he stays motionless. Feeling numb and exposed. How could Puck do this to him? How could he fall for it?

~K&P~

Puck wakes to an empty bed. Well that wasn't what he was expecting. He was expecting Kurt to be next him and they could have a repeat session of the night before.

The night before that had been the most mind blowing night of his life. Like seriously, best ever. And the idea that it was with Kurt made Puck's heart stutter a little in his chest. He could get used to the feelings the little pale teen incited in him.

Well he was hoping to anyway, until he woke up to an empty bed and bedroom. That put a little pout on his face, but in the end it wouldn't matter. Kurt is probably in the kitchen, he figures. It wasn't like he left him.

Until he gets upstairs, wearing nothing but his boxers and a smile on his face, to find it as empty as downstairs. That makes him completely frown. Where is Kurt? Surely the boy wouldn't just run out on him after the amazing night they shared together, that just wasn't Kurt…right?

Calling for him a few times brings him to the front door, where he peeks through the curtains. Kurt's car is gone. Okay, now his stomach is twisting in knots. What the fuck is going on?

He rushes back to the kitchen and runs his fingers through his hair. It was after nine…maybe he just went for a breakfast run? Yeah, that was plausible. Maybe he just didn't feel like cooking and went to go pick something up. He crosses his arms and leans against the counter, thinking. But then again, that would be dumb. He should have waited for Puck to wake up so they could go together.

He sighs out a frustrated noise and looks to the ceiling. He wasn't gone. Puck tells himself. Kurt wouldn't do that to you. Not after you told him you didn't want to do casual sex anymore, and the fucking awesome thing that went on between you. That all meant something to him. You meant something to him.

Cracking his neck he looks down and notices something on the fridge that wasn't there the day before. He looks at it closer when he steps forward. It was a note. Addressed to him. He breathes out in relief. This is where Kurt is going to tell him to meet him somewhere romantic and they-

He feels like he's been punched in the gut. This could not be happening to him.

Puck
Thanks for a great night. You really owned up to your reputation as an awesome fuck. I'm leaving to go see my family, so just remember to lock up with the key under the gnome and that you get all your clothes.

~Kurt
S.W.A.K.

He swallows thickly. Feeling naked in one too many ways. Kurt played him. Played him for his dick just like everyone else he's ever been with has. He feels like crying…not that he would. He has too much pride.

Taking a shuddering breath, he walks into the living room to collect his things.

Picking them up and putting them on feels a little like picking up the pieces of his heart and trying to put them back together. However, this time when he has them on, they don't feel right. Mostly because they smell like Kurt's cologne.

Putting on his last shoe, Puck stands and heads for the door. Knowing that after he leaves he'll never be fully whole again. It seems so weird. That in three days he could have gotten so attached to one person, but at one time it felt like an amazing thing.

"I'm sorry, Noah." His 'Rachel conscience' says to him. "But I did warn you about this."

Noah growls. "Kurt didn't leave me because I lied to him. He left because he got what he wanted and was done with me."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Ah fuck, Rachel," he sighs and runs his fingers through his stripe of hair. "You saw the fucking note!"

"But after yesterday, doesn't it feel like he was being overly cruel?"

"I'm used to that," he whispers, feeling his heart constrict again. "Nobody ever picks me. I'm only good for one thing."

"Oh stop with the feeling sorry for yourself! Fuck, Noah!"

"Did Rachel just curse?" He asks with a half amused smirk.

"Just go check the answering machine."

"Why? It's not mine…"

"Has that ever stopped you before?"

He considers that. Walking to the answering machine he clicks the button. Finn's voice filters through.

"Damn this guy's a dork." He snorts when Finn says he hopes Kurt isn't avoiding him. After another thirty seconds, he sighs, "I don't see what this has to do with…"

"Oh and uh, have you seen Puck?"

"…oh my god." He says, eyes wide, and sits down.

"I told him to check in on you every once in a while but I haven't heard from him. So I'm starting to wonder if the reason I haven't heard from either of you is because you killed each other…which would totally suck. And if you haven't seen him then I'm gonna have to smash his Xbox like I told him I would, cause getting him to even want to check on you was hard enough…oh, I probably shouldn't have said that, huh?"

Noah is stunned. Kurt didn't leave because he didn't like him anymore. It was because stupid ass Finn told him what was going on and he thought he got played. "…so he wanted me to feel like I did too."

"Yep." Rachel sounds smug. "So now that the truth has come to light. What is that you are going to do?"

Noah thinks on that.

"…Call me. Beep-eeep."

He smiles. "I'm going to call Finn."

~K&P~

Kurt was driving. In the lightly falling snow. Trying his hardest not to cry and crash the big ass Navigator he has for a vehicle.

It was all so stupid. He should have known better! It was fucking Puck, for Santa's sake. The boy would never change. And yeah, sure, his note might have been taking it a little too far; but the jock didn't have a heart. So it wasn't like it would hurt him or anything.

He was about thirty minutes away from the cabin, and didn't have a clue as to what he was going to say when he got there. But an apology was a good start, right?

He's made such a mess of things. Made his dad think he doesn't wanna talk to him. Made his stepmom think he doesn't consider her to be the best replacement-mom he could have ever asked for. Made Finn think he was purposely missing his calls. Lost his virginity to a boy that doesn't care about it. Lost a piece of his soul right along with it, because it had felt so perfect but…

No. He isn't going to start that!

Puck is a jerk, and always will be a jerk. It was never going to change.

But, oh, how badly he wishes it would. The Puck he met yesterday was so very beautiful. If he was that person more often, then he would find that people like him better. But no. Puck will never let that happen.

Which is fine. He can deal. He lost his innocence, well, fuck it! People lose it all the time, and in much worse case scenarios. So he shouldn't be upset about this. It was a mistake. A mistake that wouldn't happen again.

Ever.

That's it.

End. Of. Story.

…right?

~K&P~

"Come on-come on," Puck hisses into the phone, sitting in the front seat of his car. "Pick up, you useless piece of-…"

The phone answered on the third ring. "Puck? Jesus, dude. I was really starting to think you two had gone all Hannibal on each oth-…"

"Finn, no time for your stupid comments!" Puck growls. "Where are you?"

"Umm, at the cabin in Fremont," he says in a confused tone.

Puck rolls his eyes and huffs, "No, dumbass, I mean where is the cabin in Fremont."

"Oh – wait, why?"

"Because it's important!" Puck sighs with a frustrated noise. "Please just tell me, so I can-…"

"Dude, no, what's going on?" Finn cuts him off, sounding pissed. "I haven't heard from you in almost three days after you agreed to look after my brother, and you're asking me where I'm at? Where the fuck have you been?"

"I've been with him, Finn," in more ways than one, he adds in his head. Puck sighs and hits the steering wheel. "Look I need your help, that's why I called. I've really fucked it up!"

There was a sound like a snort, "How in the hell could you have done that? All you had to do was knock on the door and make sure he was alive!"

"I know that. Thank you!" Puck practically yells. "But I've…gah," he knows there's only one way for his best friend to understand what's going on. Which was to explain in detail, considering he was as dense as a rock. "I sort of…no, I did hang out with him…"

"Oh-kay, I don't get it."

"Let me finish." He snarls. "Kurt and I hung out all day yesterday and then we slept together. And it was absolutely amazing and perfect and…" wow, no gushing, Puck. "…and now it's shit because I sort of lied to him about why I was coming around his house in the first place, and you called and ratted me out before I could tell the truth."

Silence. "Whoa. Okay. Go back a second. You slept with my brother? Fucking shit, Puck! Are you secretly in love me or something? First both of my girlfriends and now my fucking brother? Sick!" There's what sounds like a fake gagging noise.

"No, fuck you!" Puck snorts. "It just sort of happened. We had a," swallow, "heart to heart, talk and one thing led to another and…"

"…and I get it. Save the gruesome description. Yuck. I'm scarred for life now."

"Whatever," Puck sighs, rubbing his eyes, "point is I really like him and he left before I could explain. So I need to know where you are so I can."

Finn blows air into the receiver. "When you fuck up, you seem to do it royally."

"Yeah, that's me. Royal fuck up. Now what's the address?"

Finn mumbles it out and Puck quickly scribbles it down. "Thanks, dude."

"Yeah, sure," he doesn't sound happy about it though, but Puck can't bring himself to care at that moment. "But listen to me. Pull this sort of shit again, and smashing your Xbox will be the least of your worries."

"Shut the fuck up, dickwad. If I pull this shit again – which, hey, knowing me I will – I'll have to deal with Kurt. And you'll be helping stitch me back together."

There's a pause, "Yeah, you're right." Finn clears his throat. "What are you gonna say when you see him?"

Puck thinks about that for a second. He honestly doesn't know, well, besides the truth. "I'll figure it out," he eventually settles on.

"Yeah, you gotta couple of hours for that, but hey. Better make it good or no one, not even Father Christmas himself can help you."

"Argh, I don't celebrate Christmas, Finn! For the last time! It's Hanukkah!" Then he hangs up.

Quickly he pulls up his web browser and types the address into his 'get directions' spot, and then he was on his way. Praying the whole way there he wasn't too late.

~K&P~

Pulling into the drive, Kurt sighs and turns the car off. Time to face the music.

He walks up to the front door and runs through the list of apologies he had come up with in the last couple of hours, but none of them seem to convey everything he feels like he needs to say to make it alright between him and his dad. And part of him wonders if it ever will be again.

But then the door opens, revealing a signature baseball cap and wool lined vest; and Kurt realizes that sometimes words are insignificant. So when their eyes meet, he launches himself at his dad and hugs him fiercely, hoping that's enough to get his point across.

"Shh," his dad hushes as he feels tears start stinging his eyes. "I know, I am too. I shouldn't have left you there."

He just sounds so fucking disappointed in himself that Kurt has to pull back, shaking his head, "No, you did. You were right. I was acting like a spoiled brat, and I'm so sorry."

Burt wipes a few tears away from his face. "I've felt terrible since I got here. Christmas isn't Christmas without you. It never will be, son."

He lets off a little sob, "It never will be for me either, Dad."

A few more hours pass, Kurt having apologized to the rest of his family and finding himself in the middle of a rousing game of charades. It was nice. It was perfect. It was Christmas.

But once that was starting to die down a little, Carole pulls him aside with a knowing look on her face, outside. They sit under a thick blanket on the porch swing and Kurt sighs, playing with the tassels.

"Something happened in the last two days," she finally states. It wasn't even a question.

Kurt just chuckles once. Trust a mother. "Yeah. Something did," he sighs. "But it's over now, and that's totally fine."

"Oh, honey," he coos, and wraps her arms around him. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kurt shakes his head, feeling tears come to the fore, "Not really." He sobs for a few minutes, than wipes his eyes. "I just forget sometimes that trusting people only gets you in trouble."

"Oh," she gently rubs his head, "not always, baby. Trusting people is what makes this world so great. Some people abuse that freely given love. Some people recognize it for the gift it is. But everyone has to put themselves out there, or else nothing would have any magic."

"But I did, and now I don't know what to do," he sobs.

"Maybe you should start with accepting that everyone makes mistakes, and things are not always in our control."

That gives him pause. "Do you-…" he starts, then stops, trying to formulate the question.

"What, sweetie?"

"Do you think I can be a control freak?" he settles for blunt. She looks taken aback, but Kurt shakes his head. Sitting up, he continues, "No, really. Do you think I try too hard to control everything around me because I'm afraid it won't work out the way I want it to?"

She bites her lip and takes a few moments to think over her answer. "Yes, in some ways I do. But I also understand why you are that way."

Kurt looks off to the side, in deep thought. Maybe everything Noah said wasn't a lie.

"I didn't mean to-…"

"No-no," he reassures her. "It's what I thought anyway. I just wanted to hear it from…someone else."

"Well, Kurt, everyone can be held guilty for wanting to control their lives at one point or another. But eventually you are forced to realize that it just is. That's life's a very confusing dance that can sometimes make you fall on your butt." Kurt turns shocked eyes her way, and she just smiles warmly. "But getting back up, always makes you stronger."

Not knowing what to say to that, but feeling oddly restored in his hope again, he leans over and hugs her again. For the first time in eight years, Kurt doesn't miss his mom. It feels like in the safety of these arms that he's found another one. Possibly the one his real mother sent to him to make sure he doesn't go through life having forgotten the loving touch that only a mother can give. It brings tears to his eyes. On a choked whisper, he mumbles, "Thanks for loving me…Mom."

Slowly, Carole pulls back, disbelieving tears in her eyes, "What?"

Sniffling, he repeats, "Thanks for loving me, Mom."

Carole wraps him tighter. "Oh, Kurt, baby…I will always love you."

"Yes, but I haven't realized how much until now," he sobs, wiping some her tears away. "You are the best second Mom I could have ever asked for and thank you for it."

They sit for a few minutes until he hears the crunch of snow off to the side. Sitting up, he recognizes an old Dodge truck and swallows. Puck actually followed him?

A frantic looking Noah Puckerman scrambles out of the car, running for the house. He almost doesn't even see Kurt sitting just off to the left, but does finally and looks like he breathes in a giant gulp of air for the first time in hours.

"Puck?" the counter-tenor asks, confused as to what the jock is doing there.

"Kurt," he says on what sounds like sniffle, "I'm so sorry."

Not understanding, he just shakes his head. Feeling the little defensive wall rising.

Carole takes that as her cue, and politely leaves them to it.

Getting on his knees in front of him, Noah elaborates, "What we did last night meant everything to me."

"It couldn't have," Kurt snaps without any real malice. "You lied to me, Puck."

"Not about everything," he insists. Taking the boy's mitten covered hands, he takes in a shuddering breath. "Not about my fears. Not about how much fun I had with you. Not about how wonderful I think you are. Not about how I think your face was carved from some magical force. And certainly not about how I feel, right now."

Kurt chokes on that. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that," he pauses, trying to find the words. "I'm saying that I think I love you. And yes, it took Finn asking me to check on you for me to have the opportunity to figure it out…but I think I have for a long time, and I just never knew."

Kurt splutters, not knowing what to say.

"I lied about your brother sending me there because I wanted you to think I was awesome enough to do it on my own. It was a stupid pride thing. I didn't have some malicious plan of trying to humiliate you. Hell, I never even planned for us to sleep together…"

"Shush," Kurt hisses, looking to the door and back at him with raised eyebrows.

"Right," he clears his throat. "What I mean is I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted you to…fuck, I don't even know," he huffs. "I'm no good at this talking shit, but do you sorta get what I'm trying to say?"

Kurt looks him over and sees the sincerity there. And even though he was still mad, he knew he couldn't stay mad forever. It was obvious the boy was sorry. And everyone makes mistakes right?

"I forgive you, Noah." He states and smiles at the other's brilliant smile in return. "I think we should try this over again."

Noah nods, his heart (ahem, that word was starting to make him feel itchy again) alight with joy. He couldn't believe everything was falling into place.

Standing, they both look into the other's eyes, feeling the same magnetic pull they had in McDonald's. But this time, Noah felt no guilt as their lips brushed together.

And just like last time, the clearing of a throat breaks them apart. This time though, it was Finn…holding a…camera? "Smile!" he says simply and snaps them, with their arms around each other and shocked looks on their faces.

Not wanting to be punched he runs back inside, and Kurt starts laughing. "Well, looks like by tonight everyone will know we're…uh…"

"…dating," Puck finishes with an easy smile. "Everyone will know that we are so fucking together, a crowbar couldn't pull us apart."

Kurt smiles at him again, pecking his lips. "Come on," he tugs on the bigger hand. "It's cold out here."

Puck goes in ahead of him, and Kurt whispers to the wind, "Thank you Christmas magic for making me believe in miracles."

"The end," Rachel's voice finishes. "What? Don't you want to know what I think about this? I obviously had a crucial part in it!"

The front door shuts.

"Hmmph." She grumbles. "I'm just going to have pop in Noah's mind when he wants to hear from me the least...this is going to be fun!"

~Merry Chrismukkah to all, and to all a goodnight!~

A/N: So that's it. I hope you like it. 37 pages and the ending isn't exactly what I had planned, but hey, nothing about this story is what I planned at the beginning. So yeah, I know, kinda cheesy. But any good Christmas movie is right? Happy Chrismukkah to everyone here! LOL