Hello! How long has it been since I updated? A while, I think. Well, here's the next chapter! Just to warn you: the first scene of this chapter is pretty much exactly the same as a little story I wrote for my collection of Star Wars ficlets (Cue Heroic Music). Sorry if you've already read it, but I kind of had to put it in because it worked so well with the story. Anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, plotlines or settings of Star Wars.

The minute the droid transport ship landed on the surface of Naboo, Qui-Gon quietly exited. He strode quickly through the forest, searching for Obi-Wan, who had mysteriously gone missing somewhere around the time that Qui-Gon had accidentally sat on the eject button. Rounding a thick clump of shrubs, he found himself facing a small lake. There was a tall alien standing knee-deep in the water, looking intently at something below the surface. As Qui-Gon watched, it suddenly plunged under the water.

Alarmed, Qui-Gon moved closer to the lake. His Force sense was tingling. This being needed his help!

"Fear not, gentle woodland creature! I will save you from your fate!" he cried, pulling off his cloak and diving heroically into the lake. As he swam powerfully through the water, he immediately spotted the alien floating near the bottom, zeroing in on a small, slimy animal. Qui-Gon seized the alien and dragged it, coughing and spluttering, out of the lake and onto the shore.

"Hold on!" Qui-Gon shouted, once the alien was safely deposited on the sand. "I will give you the kiss of life!"

The alien squawked indignantly and squirmed away from Qui-Gon. It was a very odd-looking being; tall with mottled skin, floppy ears and a long, beak-like snout. "Mesa okay, mesa okay!" it cried in a high, irritating voice. "My was just getting breakfast."

"What is your name, you slightly annoying but helpless creature?"

"Mesa Jar Jar Binks," said the alien, looking nervously at the Jedi.

Qui-Gon resolved to prevent Jar Jar from talking ever again by nailing his beak shut. He was just about to act on this impulse when the sound of energy bolts broke the tranquil silence. A moment later, Obi-Wan came racing through the trees, pursued by two droids on floating transports.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon shouted. "Stand and fight, you coward!"

"My lightsaber is out of batteries again, Master!" Obi-Wan shouted back.

"That's the worst excuse you've ever given me, and that includes the one about your lightsaber being at the dry-cleaners," Qui-Gon replied.

"But you believed that excuse, Master!" Obi-Wan cried.

"I was just humouring you! I'm not stupid; I know that lightsabers don't need washing."

"Can we discuss this later?" Obi-Wan gasped, dodging another spray of energy bolts.

Qui-Gon activated his own lightsaber and deflected the energy bolts back at the droids. Their transports spun out of control until they crashed and exploded into balls of flame.

Panting heavily, Obi-Wan came to a stop beside his Master. Once he had got his breath back, he glanced around, and noticed Jar Jar. The young Jedi turned and glared at Qui-Gon, his blue eyes stern.

"Oh, this is Jar Jar, by the way," said Qui-Gon, indicating the annoying alien. "I saved him from an agonising death."

Jar Jar looked surprised. "Actually, my was only looking for breakfast."

"Master, how many times have we discussed this?" Obi-Wan groaned, exasperated. "You don't save people unless they are actually in danger! Now, let's take him back to his home, shall we?" Obi-Wan sighed. Sometimes he felt like Qui-Gon was the apprentice, and he was the Master.

As the two Jedi and Jar Jar trudged through the forest, Qui-Gon suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Obi-Wan," he whispered, eyes wide with excitement. "I think it was fate that I encountered Jar Jar! Which means-"

"Master, he is not the Chosen One!" Obi-Wan snapped.

"Well, how do you know?" said Qui-Gon indignantly. "You're not exactly an expert in this field."

There was a shriek and a thud as Jar Jar tripped over his own ears and fell in a heap on the forest floor.

"I have a hunch," Obi-Wan smirked.

Once Jar Jar had extracted his big toe from his nostril, Obi-Wan decided to make some polite conversation with him. "So, Jar Jar, where do you live?"

"Mesa home is Gunga City," Jar Jar replied. "It's-a bee-ootiful city, muy muy lover-ly, filled with-"

"Alright, alright, we don't need your life story," Obi-Wan interrupted hastily. "Can you take us there?"

"Um... not really," Jar Jar mumbled. "My afraid my've been banished."

Obi-Wan stared blankly at the alien for a few moments. "Say that again, slowly. And in Basic."

"I was banished, you insolent fool!"

Obi-Wan goggled at Jar Jar. "What did you say?" he gasped. The voice had definitely come from Jar Jar's mouth, but it had sounded very odd. He had spoken in a clear voice with a slightly aristocratic air.

Jar Jar shook his head back and forth, frowning. "Mesa said, my've been banished."

While Obi-Wan was still immobilised with shock, Qui-Gon appeared to have noticed nothing out of the ordinary. "I know how that feels. I was banished from the Jedi Council room after I brought in that bounty hunter who I thought was the Chosen One. Anyway, take us to Gunga City."

Jar Jar set off through the trees and Qui-Gon followed him closely, while Obi-Wan stood rooted to the spot. After a few moments, he ran forwards and seized his Master's arm.

"Did you hear that?" he hissed.

"Hear what?" said Qui-Gon absently.

"Jar Jar must have some sort of... multiple personality disorder, or something."

Qui-Gon snorted and shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous, Obi-Wan. You're just jealous because he's more intelligent than you."

They came to a stop in a small clearing beside a lake. As he stepped into the water, Jar Jar said primly, "We will shortly be commencing a submarine expedition."

"There!" Obi-Wan cried frantically. "There it is again! Say that again, Jar Jar."

The Gungan slapped himself in the side of the head a few times. "Wesa goin' underwater now, okeyday?"

"You need to get your hearing checked, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon muttered.

Jar Jar swam out further into the lake and dived underwater. Attaching breathers to their mouths, the two Jedi followed him. On the bottom of the deep, dark lake sat a network of glowing bubbles. Jar Jar made a beeline for a particularly large bubble, his feet kicking like a frog's. The Gungan and his Jedi companions touched down on a platform, and Jar Jar proceeded to stride straight through the bubble. Rather dubiously, the Jedi followed him. To their surprise, the bubble yielded easily to their touch and they were able to slide through it as if it was liquid.

Inside the luminous orb, dozens of Gungans were going about their daily business. When they saw Jar Jar, they cried out in fear and backed away from him as if he was toxic. One male Gungan screamed, "Oh, God! We're all doomed!", then leaped out of the bubble and began to swim frantically away from the city.

"I feel like we're missing something here," Obi-Wan muttered, looking suspiciously at Jar Jar.

"Nonsense," said Qui-Gon contentedly. "They're just surprised to see him; they'll calm down in a moment."

A snorting noise from behind them alerted them to the presence of a large, domesticated animal. On its back rode a male Gungan who wielded an electrified spear.

"Oh, great," he sighed. "What are you doing back here, Jar Jar? Haven't you done enough damage already?"

It was at that point that Jar Jar's other personality kicked in. "Ah, Captain Tarpals. I see you have retained your impolite manner."

Tarpals rolled his eyes. "Hello, Arthur."

Obi-Wan gave the Captain a bewildered look. "I thought his name was Jar Jar."

"His other personality's name is Arthur," Tarpals explained. "Now come with me. I'll take you to Boss Nass."

Qui-Gon started and yelped, "What? You're taking us to Bosnia? What for?"

"No, Master," Obi-Wan sighed. "He's taking us to Boss Nass."

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening."

Obi-Wan ground his teeth so violently that he felt some of his fillings come loose. "How unlike you," he growled.

Hope you like my attempt at making Jar Jar slightly less unbearable! I mean, he's still annoying, but at least he's a bit more interesting. I would love you to review and tell me what you think. :)