Freddie choked on his smoothie. "What?" Carly asked, concerned.

Freddie was ashen. "I've got a date with Sam," he croaked.

"Want to buy a pickle?" T-Bo interjected. At Freddie's glare, he retreated.

Despite Carly's insistence that Freddie had a date with Melanie Puckett, the young man was thoroughly convinced that he had a date with his own personal nightmare, Sam. Carly sighed. The boy was so clueless sometimes. He had been gullible enough to believe Clown Day, and now he was determined not to believe Melanie was real, true or not. Carly hoped he'd get over it before his date. If he didn't, it was going to be a short, awkward date.

Melanie had said she thought Freddie was cute. Carly made a mental note to ask the blonde about that later. Carly, herself, was over Freddie. She'd thought she was in love with him after he saved her from that taco truck, but it was only hero worship.

Sam and Freddie, well, that was never going to happen. The image of Sam and Freddie kissing was too ridiculous to even contemplate. It would never happen in a million years. Melanie and Freddie, though, that actually had a chance. Mel was sweet and kind, not abrasive and rude like her younger twin. Carly knew Freddie liked good girls, why else would he have been in love with her for so long. Carly never got what boys saw in her. She was tall, skinny, and flat, with boring brown hair and eyes.

The Puckett twins, especially Sam, were something else: toned, blonde, and voluptuous, with those piercing blue eyes. Carly reflected on the fact that even when they were younger, she could always tell Sam and Melanie apart. Their mother had gone through a phase when they were around ten, where she dressed them alike every day. Carly thought Pam was trying to get Melanie's girly personality to rub off on Sam, to no avail. Even during that time, though, Carly could easily tell the twins apart by looking at their eyes. Even though they were exactly the same color and shape, Carly could see something extra in Sam's eyes that she never saw in Melanie's. To this day, Carly couldn't say what it was, but that was the first thing she'd checked when Melanie walked into her apartment the other day. That extra something that Carly saw in Sam just wasn't there.

Freddie was droning on about something related to the AV club, when Carly snapped out of her reverie. She glanced at her watch, and realized she had to go. Chuck would be showing up at her apartment in about fifteen minutes for his tutoring session. He was a nice boy, and Carly could tell he was smart. He just didn't want to apply himself in school. In that way, he reminded her of Sam. It was funny how her thoughts always led back to Sam. Carly excused herself and left.

Friday afternoon found Carly sitting on the couch tutoring Chuck Chambers. Chuck's big math test was Monday, and Carly wanted to prove to Chuck's father that she was a good tutor. She had her eye on a Cuttlefish concert DVD, and the extra cash from these tutoring sessions would go a long way towards it.

There was a knock on the door, and Freddie entered carrying two shirts. This couldn't be good. "Tutoring," she explained, trying to cut him off.

"This'll just take a second," he responded and she rolled her eyes. "Which one of these shirts would Sam hate more?"

Carly decided to play along, if just to get Freddie out of here faster. Besides, that was an easy one, "The stripes." Sam detested stripes on guys. She said it made them look nubby.

"Then I'm wearing the striped one on my date with Sam tonight," he replied.

She wanted Freddie to leave so she could get back to tutoring, but she had to set him straight. "You have a date with Melanie," she admonished.

Chuck interrupted, "Hey, when I get older, maybe I could have a date with you."

"Oh, Chuck…" Carly sighed. He was way too young for her, but he was such a nice boy.

Freddie laughed, "Don't waste your time, kid; I've been barking up that tree since sixth grade!"

At that moment, Freddie had a flash of enlightenment. He had been barking up that tree for years now, and aside from the "Bolivian bacon" incident, Carly had never considered him anything other than a friend. Freddie could see that none of the guys she dated were ever much more than that. It was obvious that Carly thought she loved them, for a time, but she always found some excuse to leave them.

Truth be told, the only person, outside of her family, that Carly ever said she loved, and really meant it was Sam. Maybe not in the romantic sense, but, there were little things that said maybe it was. Glances and touches that went beyond those of most friends. Jealousy that Freddie couldn't quite explain. Carly's jealousy over Jonah, even though she helped set them up. Sam's jealousy over Missy, even though she knew deep down that Carly would never shut her out.

Then there was that incredibly awkward kiss that Freddie had shared with Sam a few weeks ago. First kisses were supposed to be fireworks and orchestral music, but it wasn't, and it was obvious from Sam's demeanor that she'd rather be kissing someone else, too. Perhaps he had just figured out who.

Maybe, Freddie mused, they just hadn't admitted it to themselves. It was obvious from the message boards on their website that some of the iCarly fans had figured it out.

With that realization, Freddie turned and walked out the door. As he closed the door, he could hear Spencer yelling something about chunky red goo. As interesting as that sounded, he had a lot to do to get ready for his date with Sam – sorry, "Melanie." And he had a lot to think about.

A few hours later, Freddie had taken "Melanie" to a local under 21 club, the Quisp Dance Club. He was still mulling over his sudden epiphany from earlier. Sam wasn't making this easy, either. She seemed determined to stay in character. If she just put this much effort into her schoolwork, she'd be a straight A student, he thought.

He was trying to get back to the blonde with two drinks, but this tall redhead was trying to slamdance with him. By the time Freddie ditched her, the drinks were spilled. Well, he thought, maybe if Sam gets mad, she'll reveal herself. He had to admit, he'd never seen Sam look so girly. If she wasn't Sam, he'd actually say she was hot. It was really a shame that there was no "Melanie." "Melanie" would have had potential.

"You get thirsty on the way here?" the blonde joked, in her "Melanie" voice. The only other time Freddie had heard Sam keep her voice that high for so long was when they filmed Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie, and even then, she'd broken a few times.

He'd play along, but he wanted her to know he knew. "Sort of… So, Melanie, you look pretty hot tonight." If that didn't set Sam off, he didn't know what would.

"Thanks. I love your shirt," the perky blonde replied.

"No you don't! Carly said you hate stripes!" he replied. And Heaven knows, Carly knows you better than anyone.

"Sam hates stripes," she argued.

Freddie was tiring of this game. "How long are you going to keep this up?" He pushed her on the shoulder, trying to get a rise out of Sam. "Just admit you're Sam and we can leave."

"I would... Ow" she replied, rubbing her shoulder, "but I'm not Sam."

Freddie was astonished how well she could fake a hurt face. Carly must be giving her lessons, he thought. He was going to end this now, "Okay, if you're not Sam, then I guess you wouldn't mind if I held your hand." Considering their recent kiss, that was never going to fly.

"I don't mind at all," she replied, still way too perky for Sam. "I think you're really cute."

After what he'd realized earlier today, that was bordering on weird. Sam was a good actress, though, and she was really good at lying. "How can you say that without vomiting?" he screamed. She feigned confusion. Okay, he was going to win this one way or another. "Alright, if you're not Sam, I suppose you wouldn't mind dancing with me?"

"I'd love to," was the reply.

She was taking this way too far. He decided to remind her. "This is a slow dance, you know. We'll have to dance together, pressed against each other."

She dragged him to the dance floor. He tried to pull away, but with an odd smirk on her face, she pulled him closer. "I can't believe you're doing this! You hate me, you always have!"

"Maybe Sam hates you?" she replied.

"You are Sam!" he spat back.

"Really?" that odd smirk was back. "Would Sam do this?" and she surprised him with a kiss.

Freddie was taken aback. The joke had gone too far. He couldn't do this to his best friend. "I can't do that to Carly," he protested.

"Oh," the blonde said, face falling. "You're in love with Carly?"

Freddie fumbled. "Yes… I mean no… I mean Carly's in love with you."

Now it was Melanie's turn to be shocked. Whether Freddie thought she was real or not, this was too good a tidbit to pass up. "Carly's in love with Sam?" she questioned.

"You are Sam!"

"Freddie, really?" the boy was right, it was time to end this, but it would be on Melanie's terms. "Do you really think Sam would go this far? Have you ever seen Sam dress like this? Would she get a new cell phone and forge a student ID just to prank you? Wouldn't it be easier just to send you another fake email and be done with it?"

Freddie was confused. "Melanie" was making sense. This was such a surreal day. He did what any socially awkward 14 year old boy would do. He ran away, with the blonde giving chase.