Chapter 9 – Sakura's Laundry List of Problems

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, faved and/or alerted. You guys rock my mismatched socks! Special thanks to all who have contributed ideas. StarKiss666 was responsible for the majority of this chapter's content, so thank you! If I forgot to mention you, please tell me and I will somehow right my wrong.

SanDavis687: Thank you for your faithful reviews! And I know, I was really surprised that Sakura didn't meet her maker last chapter and I'm the one who wrote it. Lol! Thanks!

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happy everyday life: Ahhhh! That was me screaming when I saw all the lovely reviews! And while this is a multi Saku story, I fore see some more NaruSaku fics on the way as well as some cute and funny scenes in here. And I promise bitchy Ino will be practically starring next chapter. Seriously, thank you for all the reviews both here and elsewhere. Thank you!

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Sakura was in a bit of a bind.

You see, after discovering her demolished living room, she had welled up with anger and sought to pummel her teammates. That was normal. However, her inability to follow through with the intended action was not. Something about the way their new forms cowered from her halted her actions.

The thought alone of even harshly yelling at them disturbed her. This was weird, seeing as her previous form had no problem with kicking all of their asses. Even her usual victims were freaked out, though they were immensely relieved to be spared.

As Sakura sulked away, she pondered for an explanation. The only conclusion she could arrive at was that her newly transformed self could not harm a girl. This was just preposterous though, seeing as she was actually a girl and they were boys before the freak accident had happened. But still, she just couldn't justify physically harming them.

Her annoying inner voice brought up all the times she had openly scorned the boys for going easy on her and treating her different. Of course now, that she was in their shoes so to speak, she struggled with the same dilemma. As such, the previously feminist, tough kunoichi had to admit that she was nothing but a sexist man.

Oh the cruel irony of life.

On to more pressing matters, in her brief period of brooding, Sakura had gained quite the female following. This only worsened her mood and in turn only attracted more squealing fan girls. She now knew exactly how Sasuke felt.

As the horde of estrogen closed in, Sakura's mind scrambled for ways to rid herself of the stalkers. Seeing as Sasuke had never been able to shake his fanatical fan base, even after going rogue, she figured she was pretty much screwed. Currently, she looked like the bad boy every girl dreamed of reforming.

Since channeling her sourpuss teammate would only further escalate her problems, the pink haired male resorted to mimicking her idiotic teammate. Judging by the collective adoring murmurs of 'kawaii', Sakura couldn't quite pull it off in her annoyed state and her bright smile and friendly acknowledgement of the others around her only skyrocketed her sudden popularity. Apparently, with her pink locks and big green eyes, she fell into the category of 'bishounen'.

But Haruno Sakura was the Hokage's apprentice and part of the legendary Team 7 so she wasn't about to give up. She was a freaking kunoichi of the hidden leaf for crying out loud! The will of fire ran abundant through her and there was no way she would back down from a challenge. Sakura narrowly reframed herself from repeating her ramen loving teammate's infamous quote. On that note, perhaps she was imitating the knuckle head too well.

Sakura's genius mind quickly looked searched through her mind for cases in which hot males were without fan clubs. Kakashi and Yamato both had decent sized fan base and so they were quickly scratched from the list. Naruto's name was scratched off as well after failed attempt. Upon arriving at Sai's name, she promptly discarded his tactics all together. In her current form, there was no way she would stoop to the level of meanly insulting a woman.

Her brilliant brain conjured up the image of the eldest and hottest Uchiha. As far as she knew, he didn't have a problem with warding off the female population. But then again, he also didn't have a problem with slaughtering his family. Seeing as Sakura didn't really feel like murdering anyone, she was still stuck at square one.

Despite her earlier energetic mental pep talk, she was close to giving up hope. As luck would have it though, her intelligent mind produced yet another possibility. After closer consideration brought forth no flaws, she couldn't help but to bemoan her stupidity for overlooking the candidate previously.

That being said, Sakura left to find Neji.

The Hyuga clan is a very prestigious and well thought of clan full of some of the best shinobi Konoha has to offer. The Hyuga clan is also full of a bunch of pompous assholes. Unfortunately, Hyuga Neji falls under both categories.

She was unsurprised to find the brunette prodigy hard at work at the training grounds. She was even less surprised to find Ten Ten by his side. The two were practically never apart.

After exchanging greetings with the duo, Sakura explained her current problem, motioning to the women and girls that had trailed her to the training grounds. The crowd was driven into a frenzy at the sighting of the two bishies conversing. A stern look from the weapons mistress had them scurrying.

Though Sakura had besieged the male before her to help, he coldly refused to aid her. Apparently he had caught wind of Sakura's unintentional perving on his clan's heir. As such, he was taking delight in her torment.

"What are your intentions with my cousin Haruno?" he questioned formally.

Sakura could only sputter in response and blush a pink that matched her hair.

"If you seek to continue your disgraceful courting methods," at this his Byakugan activated, "Then you will have to answer to me."

The usually calm ninja, practically pounced at Sakura with an uncharacteristic aggressiveness. Barely dodging his furious assault, the pinkette made a mental reminder to never accidentally ogle the busty, shy girl. The newly established perverted persona had the audacity to remark that it was totally worth it.

Despite her earlier hesitance to harm her teammates, she showed no such restraint towrd the attacking Hyuga. Though his long silky hair said otherwise, Neji was very much a dude. Therefore, Sakura felt justified in knocking him onto his arrogant ass.

"Nice job," the brunette, bun loving kunoichi diagnosed after observing her unofficial boyfriend's K. status.

"Sorry about that," Sakura apologized, gesturing to the unconscious male before her. Ten Ten merely waved it off.

"So Sakura," the rosette snapped to attention, "about this chick infestation you have. I think I can help you out."

"Oh Ten Ten you're the best," Sakura was quick to flatter and narrowly restrained her urge to swoop the woman into a hug. Ten Ten accepted the compliment as if it were common knowledge.

"The reason Neji here," she lightly kicked him on the side to emphasis her point, "is free from the vixen vermin is because of me."

Even with Ten Ten proudly motioned to herself in a grand way, Sakura still couldn't quite follow. Seeing this, the frustrated female sighed and further explained. "I'm the baddest kunoichi that ever lived," the former kunoichi ignored the need to question that statement, "Everyone thinks I'm his girlfriend and so they stay away."

"But aren't you two datin-" Sakura was cut off with a viscous no followed by the defendant blushing.

"So you're saying I need a girlfriend. Hey, if you're single," Sakura continued, letting that statement dangle. Ten Ten yet again cut her off with an adamant no and more blushing.

"Look Sakura," Ten Ten demanded, "I'm flattered, but I'm too busy to be your body guard. My advice is to find yourself a girlfriend. Don't tell Neji, but your much hotter than him, so you're going to need to look for a strong kunoichi. Preferably, you need one of the crazy, possessive and clingy type. Now if I were you, I'd scram. Neji might be K. right now, but when he wakes up he'll be P. ."

Saying her thanks and resisting her urge to glomp her savior, Sakura set out to find a crazy, possessive and clingy kunoichi. Fortunately, Sakura knew just the girl for the job. Unfortunately, that girl was Yamanaka Ino.

/Fin/

Author's Note: I am so sorry to have kept you waiting! I got detoured by life and then I started publishing Chastity Belt which did really well and so it got most of my attention. But fear not, that fic is almost completed and this one has just begun.

I also have to apologize for the shortness here. There was also not much action from the Akatsuki or the she-males, so again, I apologize. And in advance, I might as well apologize again, because starting in September I will begin publishing a Halloween themed fic that I predict will steal lots of my time. If all goes planned, I will be able to wrap that one up in November.

Anyways, I'm sorry for the bad news if you happen to like this fic. I will continue to update this as frequently as I can. And I absolutely hate to bribe, but reviews make a world of a difference. Each and every one of them is read and cherished, which inspires me to troop on through exhaustion. With that being said, please review to show your love. ;D

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I love you all! I wish you all a happy day full of lots of good reads. Please take care!

~Dotti3