John Shepard sat quietly on the park bench, his thin frame huddled against the wind that blew in dry gusts between the towering buildings of Armali, which sloped dramatically towards the midday Thessian sky. The familiar nagging chill he felt was at odds with the weather, but he shrugged it off with a slight tremor of his body. It didn't matter anymore whether he sat in bright sun or in a freezing shuttle, there was always a coldness in his limbs, a sensation of creeping mortality that he couldn't get rid of.

He distracted himself from such thoughts by watching the festivities that filled the park in front of him. Extravagant decorations made up of multi-colored flowers formed into wreathes announced the holiday of Janiris, the New Year. Asari and their bondmates sat with blankets on the grass, picnicking with food and drink. Buzzing around them in orbit were blue whirls of Asari childhood, whose laughter and yells echoed down the park to him. Shepard smiled faintly at the sight. Families and peace and prosperity all together in this place, where once he had looked down from a shuttle and seen only fire and broken buildings and death.

His thoughts and reminisces were soon interrupted by an offered cup of tea that turned his focus away from the scene in front of him. He gratefully and slowly took the cup, deliberately putting both hands around it, which was the way he gripped everything now. He inhaled its scent and enjoyed the warmth of the stream that rose lazily from the cup's top.

"Thanks Liara." He watched her take a seat next to him on the bench. "And Blessed Janiris," he raised the cup slightly in a toast.

"Blessed Janiris," she repeated to him and then fell quiet. The silence between them was punctuated by bursts of celebrations in the park and distant music coming from somewhere that Shepard couldn't quite make out.

"I'm sure—" He started and then stumbled over his own words. The things he wanted to say to his old friend had seemed clear and straightforward on the flight to Thessia, even the reason why he'd felt the compulsion to visit her at all had been obvious. Yet now, as she sat next to him full of curiosity about his surprise visit, he felt his mind betray him and confuse his thoughts.

"I…uh," he stumbled again, but this time attempted to push on, "I know this sounds strange Liara, but I wanted to see you one last time." His voice spun into gravel on the last words.

Liara immediately looked alarmed. "Are you…are you ill? John I'm sure that whatever it is—"

He interrupted her with a wave of his hand. "No, I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you. It's…the doctors say I'm in decent enough shape for my age, but…" He looked up and squinted into the light from a star that didn't warm him. "…Lately I've just felt a lot older than I am, I guess. I've lived a hard life." The tone of his voice dropped again, and he spoke the summation of his life with an exhale.

After a moment he continued. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but just…the battles, the wars, and seeing so many people die…including myself." He blinked away the hazy but painful memory of the Lazarus Project and continued, "and, you know, the political shitstorm afterwards in the vacuum. A thousand different people pulling on you, needing just one thing, just five minutes, all the while you're trying to keep the whole goddamn galaxy from falling apart."

He licked his lips, his mouth was dry from all the talking. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm tired. The kind of tired that doesn't show up on a doctor's chart. And before I'm ash, or as good as that in some hospital, I wanted to see my friends again. Not pitying me or telling me everything is going to be alright, but here…" He gestured to the park and the Janiris celebration. "On a park bench with people. With life."

There was a pause between them and then Liara said softly, "I understand John. I know how short the human life is. You burn so brightly, how could it ever be different?" Her words grew even quieter as she spoke and her face fell into shadow.

Shepard was surprised at the pained edge to her voice, and he unconsciously tapped the side of his cup of tea as he thought about what could have caused it. To deepen his concern she remained looking at the ground, not letting him see her eyes, which always expressed so much about what she was thinking. He decided that the best course of action was to temporarily change the subject, and so he leaned back against the bench and smiled at her. The deep network of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and mouth came together to make him look mischievous. "Not like the Asari of course. Over ninety years since we first met on Therum and you still look exactly the same."

Liara laughed softly at his words but Shepard saw that it didn't reach her eyes. "Yes, but I promise you that I feel different. Goddess, it's difficult to believe that I ever knew so little. But thought that I knew so much."

Shepard continued to eye her cautiously. "Well, nobody knows more about how the galaxy works than you. Or, I guess knew." He was aware that after the Reaper War Liara had briefly gone back to her role as the Shadow Broker, an individual who could break economies, leaders, and entire armies. Then something had changed in her and she'd left the position. He had no idea who occupied the position of Shadow Broker any more, not after Feron had been killed. He knew that Liara had chosen a different path, and a different job.

"So how's work?" Shepard asked innocuously.

Safely away from the topics of human aging and Shepard's health, Liara's eyes regained their wide and inviting nature. "They insist on trying to make me an administrator, a figure head at the college."

Shepard was well aware of similar political pressures. "Did you tell them that you could buy the college five times over?" He joked.

Liara fixed him with a look. "No, I didn't. I took the position because I wanted to return to working in the archeology field, but only as a lecturer." She paused and then continued in an aggravated tone, "instead I now occupy the Dr. Liara T'Soni Chair in Archeology." She waved her hand in a flourish and then sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry John, you didn't come all this way just to hear me complain about matters like these."

Shepard shrugged. "I came to see my friend," he said simply.

Liara smiled genuinely and her tone lifted. "Well, who else are you going to see then? Or who have you seen already?"

"You are the first." He lifted his cup to her. "I don't know though. I don't have a plan, really. Also I don't know where everyone is. After a couple decades, you just…well you know, you get on with your own life. Its not forgetting it's just moving on."

"Well…" she started. "A couple are easy at least."

"Yeah," Shepard agreed. "Tali is still an Admiral, I think. Or whatever the hell they call them these days."

"Nal'Shastar." Liara offered, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Right. And Wrex is still Wrex. Though with the civil wars over he's probably pretty restless now. I know he likes his throne, but he must hate to have to sit on it all day." Shepard mused.

"I believe Kasumi still works on Earth, correct? At that museum?" Liara asked.

"The Louvre." Shepard nodded. "She's the Head Curator of the paintings collection. I guess it has expanded a lot once since she got put in charge. Donations." He gave Liara a significant look.

"Mmm." She answered knowingly. "I don't know about Ashley…"

"Retired….and she's a grandmother now." Shepard laughed, though it came out more like a hoarse cough. He remembered the photos she'd sent him last Christmas of the entire family. "Things do change…." He muttered, mainly to himself.

"I haven't heard from Garrus or Samara," Liara said, her brow furrowed in concentration, attempting to remember.

"He works security for the Council, oversees it I think. Actually, did you know that Joker flies the Destiny Ascension now? Well…I imagine he probably does it with a whole bunch of people, but he's got himself a very nice place in one of the wards. I had dinner with him a couple years back."

"Goddess! That's frightening." Liara replied, her words full of mock terror.

"I know," Shepard gamely continued, "I didn't give him a recommendation. But I don't know about Samara…or Jacob for that matter. I hope wherever they are they're happy. After all the shit they went through, they deserve it…" he looked over at Liara and smiled faintly, "we all do."

"Yes. I feel the same way for all those who aren't with us." She added quietly.

Shepard nodded grimly. His mind turned to the well-trodden memories of the friends he'd lost. Zaeed, Thane, Mordin, the Doc, Anderson, and of course Kaidan. It didn't matter that most of them had survived the war, time had slowly but surely worn the sharp edge of their greatnesses down into dullness, leaving them feeble men and women who eventually became nothing but patient numbers. For some time Liara and Shepard simply sat together in silent remembrance, re-experiencing the tragic and triumphant moments each had spent with those friends they would never see again.

At last, with a tone that was more than a little forced, Shepard broke the silence. "You know…if you don't mind indulging an old man, would you mind a little walk?" He stood up, pushing off the bench with his right hand and then gripping the armrest to steady himself. He threw his cup of tea in the bin next to the bench.

"Of course, John." She moved towards him and took his offered arm, interlinking them. They began to walk slowly down the park and towards the festivities.

"Hopefully we won't start any rumors. Young Asari like you, and an old man like me." He smiled and the wind blew his snowy hair into a confused mess.

"I don't think your wife would like that." She looked at him askance.

"Oh, she knows that I'm too scared of her to even look at another woman." He continued, "fear is an underrated part of a marriage."

They walked a little further down the path, and Shepard noticed through a number of stolen glances that Liara's melancholy had returned. She no longer looked at him, but instead focused on the path in front of them. After a few moments Shepard decided to just ask. "Speaking of…how is your bondmate?"

"She is well." The response was measured and concise, but he saw the truth in her body. Liara's shoulders sagged under the weight of the question and her eyes became even more distant.

Shepard considered abandoning the topic again, and simply avoiding whatever it was that seemed to be bothering his friend so much. But it just wasn't in his nature to do so. He had been a soldier, and whether it was war or politics, the idea of confronting an issue and resolving it was an unconscious and automatic drive.

Nevertheless, he approached it with significant care and caution. "I know it's none of my business, Liara. I don't mean to…pry. It's just I couldn't help but notice that you seem a little, uh, preoccupied." He offered gently, and pulled her a little closer to him.

She looked at him, her eyes seemingly even wider than normal, the blue in them shimmering. "It is…I don't mean to burden you, John. I know what you said, but if this really is the last time we see each other…" she trailed off.

"Then I want to spend it talking about things that matter." He said quietly. "I'm not here for old war stories. We've been forced to relive those enough times in interviews and goddamn ceremonies." He stopped and turned to her. "Liara, I know I said that we're friends…" he hesitated slightly, unsure on such emotional ground, "…but I might as well be honest with you because maybe I won't get another chance…" He paused and then reached out and held her hand, "I consider you family. And if you don't want to talk about it then we'll drop it, but don't think you're burdening me with anything." Shepard watched as she looked down at their linked hands and then back up to his face, which bore a soft determination.

Liara pulled her hand back and re-linked arms with him. Without a word they began walking again. After a few moments she spoke, "It is…we are fine, but…when you brought up your age, it just reminded me of hers."

"But she must wear it a lot better than I do." Shepard offered sympathetically.

"She was designed to, yes. But…we have been dancing around a certain issue for some time. Decades, really." Liara paused and looked pained at the thought.

"Children?" Shepard asked. He couldn't think of anything else that could cause Liara to be this upset.

She nodded. "Yes. It is a common problem for Asari who meet someone in their Maiden stage. Many do not even attempt a serious relationship until they are over 300 years old. But…I have never acted like most Maidens, and even though I wasn't looking for this kind of bond….it found me."

Shepard smiled warmly at her words. He could feel the tenderness in them, and the sincerity of the love she possessed.

Liara continued after a moment. "I am still over a hundred years from the transition to Matron. Well, unless I chose differently." She looked down at the path in front of them and away from the young Asari running with their wreathes of flowers.

"Do you have to be a Matron for children?"

She looked over at Shepard. "It is…traditional and customary. To be a Maiden mother is not impossible, but very unusual."

"And you want to be a mother?" Shepard asked. It seemed to be the question that was at the very heart of the matter.

"I…I…" She paused and Shepard alarmingly saw tears begin to fill her wide eyes. Quickly, she removed his arm from hers and wiped them away. "I don't know. It would be difficult and if I became a Matron then I would lose much of my Maidenhood. But…I…we don't have that much time left." The tears flowed even more freely now, and Liara's words were punctuated with light sobs and quick swipes of her hand at her eyes. Unable to resist any longer Shepard opened his arms and embraced her, pulling her slighter frame to his, and holding her without speaking.

After nearly a minute Liara pulled away, a small hiccup and watery eyes were all that remained of her emotional outburst. Shepard gestured with his arm, and once again they began their walk.

"So…" he re-approached the subject carefully, not wanting to upset her any further. "What does Miranda think? Does she want kids?"

"Goddess." Liara sighed in frustration. "I have tried to bring it up, but when I do she just smiles and tells me that she loves me and is happy."

"Yeah…" Shepard replied, "…I know what its like loving someone who avoids emotion."

Liara continued without prompting. "I just…even with her genetic engineering, she will only live to two hundred, maybe." Liara hesitated and Shepard thought that the Asari was going to cry again. However, she steeled herself and kept going. "I want her to be a father. I want for us to come to this park and watch our daughter play. I want….Goddess…it is selfish, but I want something that is ours even when she's gone."

Shepard was quiet a moment and considered her words. He thought about his own daughter Sylvia, who he'd watched grow from a pigtailed, gap-toothed little girl, to an incredibly strong-willed woman who faced down angry diplomats on the Citadel as an attaché to the Human delegation. He and his wife had struggled over the decision to have a child as well, trying to intelligently weight the positives and negatives of something that was largely not quantifiable. He couldn't even imagine how much more difficult it must be for Liara and Miranda, who had difficulties he could never truly understand.

Nonetheless, there was one thing Shepard knew for certain, and he wanted to make sure that she knew it. "Liara, you've never been a selfish person." He said to her with as much conviction as he could muster. "I can't put myself in your place, it's impossible I know…but whether you have a child or not, Miranda is always going to be a part of you. So if you're going to do it, I mean, if you're going to have a child…don't do it for her because you think she might want one, or you want to make her happy. Do it because you want to be a family and because you love each other." He looked away from her self-consciously and up at the sun, whose warmth he was beginning to feel on the back of his neck.

After a few moments her words brought him back to the conversation, and to the path they were walking in the park. "You are very different from when I first met you, John." She said kindly and smiled at him with wet cheeks.

"I know, but when you first met me I was young. The only thing I knew was being a soldier. Now…I'm a father and a husband too…and after everything I've been through I'd like to think that I've learned what's important. And one of those things is being honest with the people you care about." Shepard still felt an old twinge of embarrassment at his own candidness, but he suppressed it, knowing that he had meant what he said.

"Hmm, yes." Liara agreed. "That is why I stopped being the Shadow Broker. The power was incredible; it was everything I thought I wanted after…" she hesitated slightly, the wound of the Normandy's destruction still tender enough to make her pause. "…After the Collector attack. But it was power for power's sake, there was no end, you were the Shadow Broker until somebody killed you. I didn't want that. I wanted…." Liara faltered again, but Shepard picked up her train of thought.

"Miranda?" He asked knowingly.

She smiled widely now. "Yes. As the Shadow Broker I was working constantly and usually alone. The few hours a day that I didn't work I slept at my desk. It was not a life. I wanted more, I wanted something solid after all that chaos. I guess…Goddess, I guess I wanted to know that I would wake up next to the woman I loved everyday." She finished, emotion creeping back into her voice.

Shepard squeezed her arm affectionately and sought to comfort her. "I understand. I felt the same way after the war too. I think that's probably why I ended up accepting the Admiralty offer at the Citadel. Living there, not being woken up at every hour of the day to put my life on the line. It wasn't something I thought I'd ever want, but I was just so tired. I'd been a soldier my whole life, it was all I wanted to be, but…after seeing world after world burn and so many people die…I wanted a break from the fight."

He sighed into the Thessian breeze, which had picked up as they'd shuffled slowly down the park path. Looking around he noticed that they'd managed to move past the revelers and to the park entrance, whose large open gate was interwoven with decorations for the festival. Olive, brown, white and crimson flowers crushed together to overwhelm the metal rungs of the gate, and loudly announce the Asari New Year. An opportunity for every Asari to start fresh, to feel young and optimistic, if only for a day.

"How long are you staying on Thessia, John?" Liara asked as she viewed the decorations with him.

"Oh, just for the day. For Janiris." He responded absentmindedly, admiring the way in which the flowers had been stitched together into different sized wreathes.

"Well, Miranda is returning from Illium tomorrow. She still handles some of Cerberus' holdings there. I know she'd love to see you, if you want to stay on Thessia a little longer." Liara offered, her tone wishful and clearly hopeful.

Shepard looked at her, and then back towards the park. At the children, the families, and the life that surrounded him.

"Yeah, Liara," he nodded and smiled. "I could stay for a little bit longer."

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.

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