Title: Magic Smiles.
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.
Rating: PG/K
Summary: Spencer is uncertain about his place in Aaron and Jack's life.
Prompt: Hotch/Reid- Spencer worries about how Jack would react to the relationship between him and Aaron, as well as how he would take Spencer becoming part of the family.
A/N:Written for shatteredmirrors-and-lace23 over on tumblr (sorry about the wait.) I'm a little unsure of this since it's the first fic I've ever written in two parts (due to a toothache that almost drove me mad :P)

Spencer Reid sat at his desk in the BAU bullpen and glanced up at Aaron's office, feeling nothing short of foolish. Why the hell did this hurt so much, what did he expect? That after the months of careful planning in order to avoid Spencer and Jack crossing paths, when his young son happened by the office, introductions would be aplenty? Of course not.

Spencer didn't even understand why a part of him wanted that. He was never good around children. He had a hard enough time understanding the rules of basic, adult interaction. Children didn't seem to have any rules on how to interact with others and that was something that both baffled and terrified Spencer. But now, looking up at Aaron's office, he knew that it wasn't about wanting to engage in a conversation with a child, it was the fact that Aaron had gotten Jack up to his office and away from him so fast the it made one thing crystal clear.

Spencer was not welcome in Aaron's family life.

And that stung like a bitch.

But Spencer couldn't blame Aaron. Jack, who had already been through so much in his short life, deserved a to have a home he could feel comfortable in, not one hosting a stranger who had been suddenly thrust into his life. He deserved his father all to himself now that he no longer had a mother. Aaron was away so much, how could Spencer even think to impose on what little time he had with his son.

And yet, for all his logic and reasoning, there was no stopping the iron grip of insecurity in his gut.

He hated himself for it.

Watching a documentary on ancient Greece with Aaron in his living room, Spencer's minds was buzzing with the same thoughts that had plagued him all day. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Do you feel like Chinese or Indian. I'm not sure I could handle Indian right now but which ever is fine." Aaron said with a shrug. Spencer would, any other time, be touched by Aaron's willingness to risk gastrointestinal distress simply to indulge Spencer's picky eating habits, but tonight, he was too distracted.

"Whichever is fine. Chinese if you want." He answered in a absent tone. He hadn't been able to think of anything but the cold centre of fear in his chest. He couldn't rule out the notion that he was over-reacting but at the same time...

He knew how important Jack and his home life was to Aaron. It was his escape, his shelter from the horror of their jobs and Spencer couldn't banish the thought, the fear, that if he wasn't a part of that, how long could they possible last. How long was Aaron planning of indulging in his secret relationship?

How honest was he being when he said 'I love you.'?

"This is about today isn't it? With Jack?" Aaron asked quietly. Trust him to see straight through Spencer's admittedly weak attempts at pretending he didn't care.

Knowing there was no use in lying, and doubting he had the strength to do so at this point anyway, Spencer simply answered, "I know it's stupid. It shouldn't bother me, but..."

"It does," replied Aaron, reaching out to grasp Spencer's hand, "It's not stupid Spencer. I'm stupid. I didn't explain why."

Shaking his head, Spencer turned to face his lover, squeezing his hand, "No, you don't have too. I wouldn't ask you to .."

"I know. I know, but I want too. I'm just nervous you'll agree with me." Aaron was looking down at there joined hands. Spencer couldn't remember ever seeing him so unsure. So hesitant.

"Okay." He said, understanding that this was something Aaron felt he needed to say and swallowing the lump in his throat and the voice in his head saying 'This is it. He's ending it.'

Taking a deep breath, Aaron started talking, "I kept telling myself that the next time an opportunity came along that I would do it you know? I would sit Jack down, with you by my side and tell him about us. I would ask you to dinner and we'd sit there as a family, complete."

He sighed and raised his free hand to rub over his eyes. He was clearly struggling to find the words.

"But every time that opportunity came around this one voice in my head, this one little voice would speak up and ruin the whole idea."

"What .. " Spencer cleared his throat, afraid of the answer to his question, "What would it say?" He croaked.

"It'd say, 'Sure, show your young lover just how much baggage you have. Just how weighed down loving you would make him.'" He said in a bitter tone, laughing deprecatingly at himself.

Spencer was horrified, "Aaron. You can't ... " but he was interrupted.

"It's just, your still young Spencer. You have so much ahead of you, I don't understand why you'd want this. Why you'd want to be stuck with a middle aged guy and his kid." The fear on Aaron's face threatened to break Spencer but it was the sincerity in his tone that caused his eyes to sting with the treat of tears. He truly believed what he was saying.

Spencer leaned forward, took Aaron's face in his hands and urged him to meet his eyes.

"Aaron, listen to me. That is preposterous. I love you, and I fell in love with you knowing you had a son. I know you're a father, you're an amazing father and I can't believe you think that is anything to me but yet another thing I adore about you. I'm not that young and you are not that old, but even if we where. So what? I do have a lot ahead of me, so do you and I only hope that whatever lies ahead, it includes the two of us, together. You're my future Aaron. Or at least the only part of it I'm sure of."

With that, Spencer leaned forward and kissed Aaron as hard as he could, trying to pour every ounce of the love he felt into it even while knowing it was impossible to put so much into a simple kiss.

Pulling away after a moment, Spencer looked deep into Aaron's eyes and said, "I love you, more than I consider to be healthy." and smiled a small smile, relieved when it was returned.

"I love you too," Aaron said, brushing back a stray lock of hair from Spencer's forehead, "And, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to invite you to dinner with me and Jack tomorrow night."

"Are you sure." Spencer asked quietly, putting his need for certainty before the rush of warmth making it's way through his chest at Aaron's request.

"Absolutely." He replied, leaning in for another kiss.

Spencer, tipping his head back and enjoying the spray of hot water cascading over him from the shower, wasn't so much angry and amused. Amused that he and Aaron had actually thought they could make plans and not have them be ruined by a case. They had been hunting a man shooting random people on the street's of Brooklyn, and had caught him earlier that day. They hadn't gotten a confession yet but there was no doubt about it, he was definitely their guy.

As Spencer finished washing up and stepped out of the shower, he heard someone knock on the door to the hotel room and knew that Aaron would answer so didn't rush. Instead he thought about how ... easy things had been since they had opened up about their relationship. Even though it killed him to see Aaron doubt himself, and it destroyed him to see Aaron upset, he couldn't deny the slight hint of relief he felt that he wasn't the only one with insecurities. Sometimes he wondered why Hotch put up with his constant need for assurance.

"That was so good." He said dreamily, exiting the bathroom surrounded by a fluffy towel.

Looking him up and down leeringly, Aaron replied, "I agree," causing Spencer to smile. Aaron had slowly got Spencer used to being complimented and so he was pleased to note that he felt only a slight blush to his cheeks.

"Who was at the door?" he asked moving towards his go-bag for some clothes.

"Morgan, he wanted to know if we where up to drinks at the bar to celebrate an easy case. Told him I'd ask you." Aaron was still watching Spencer as he changed.

Looking back at him and smiling, Spencer gave it some thought but he was actually pretty tired. "You should go, I'm wiped."

Aaron frowned, "I could stay if you'd like. I don't mind."

"No, no," Spencer replied in what he hoped wasn't too casual a tone. He really didn't want to actually say the words, "You should go, you deserve a little down time."

With a smile, Aaron understood completely, "You want a little time on your own?"

Spencer let out a relieved laugh that Aaron didn't seem to be offended, he never was. Spencer had lived on his own for a long time and though he wouldn't ever, in a million years, want to go back to those lonely, cold nights alone, there were times when he just felt like he needed a small amount of solitude. It was kind of an old comfort zone for him. Aaron always understood and was happy to indulge him.

"You don't mind?" He asked anyway.

Aaron shook his head and wrapped his arms around Spencer's waist, kissing him softly, "Not at all. I really could use a drink. And watching Rossi dance after one too many is something I can't really miss." he said laughing and causing Spencer to chuckle too.

While Aaron was slipping on a sweater and his shoes, Spencer went back to rummaging through his bag in search of pajamas's and found something he'd bought the other day while in the mall getting food.

"Oh hey look. I got this for Jack, figured we could watch it when we finally get to have that dinner." He said excitedly while holding up a DVD box set of the complete Original Series of Star Trek, "We wont be able to watch all three seasons obviously but maybe up to The Enemy Within. That's a great episode if you can get past the Pomeranian with a horn stuck to it's head that is." He finished, chuckling.

Aaron smiled in return but it wasn't nearly as big or genuine as Spencer could have hoped for, "Oh, that's great."

Shoulders slumping at the complete lack of enthusiasm, Spencer asked dejectedly, "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," His lover replied in a too high tone, wincing a little at Spencer's knowing frown, "It's just, he's not really a big sci-fi fan. I don't really think he gets it."

"Oh." He said, looking down at the box set in his hands and feeling rather silly. Jack was 6, just because he loved this stuff at that age didn't mean every child would.

"Hey, it was still a really nice gesture. Maybe we could watch them after Jack goes to bed?" Aaron assured him, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, sounds good." Spencer said honestly, glad for Aaron's secret love of cheesy sci-fi.

After a few more minutes of confirming that he was fine, Aaron finally went downstairs and left Spencer to his thoughts, which now where a lot less pleasant that he had planned.

All this time he had been so happy about Aaron's wanting him to meet Jack, about everything it meant for their relationship. He hadn't actually thought about the child himself. What if Jack didn't like him? Children usually didn't. What if he thought Spencer was weird and didn't want to spend time with him? What if Jack didn't understand his and Aaron's relationship and rejected his inclusion into their lives?

Without pause Spencer knew he would never put Aaron in such a difficult position of being caught between his son and his lover, he would end the relationship.

The mere thought of having to end things with Aaron however caused his chest to constrict painfully. Aaron was the first man he loved and the only one he ever wanted.

Spencer ran his hands over wet hair, trying to rid these thoughts from his mind. There was nothing to be done about it now, worrying would just keep him up. Either Jack would like him or not and if not, they would manage.

If only Spencer actually believed it could be that easy.

The knock at Spencer's door was not a surprise. Ever since he had claimed stomach problems earlier that day to get out of dinner, he had known from the look in Aaron's eyes that he had stopped buying it.

For 3 weeks Spencer had come up with excuse after excuse in order to avoid the family get together. 3 weeks since the night he had realized he didn't stand a hope in hell of being able to win over the youngest Hotchner. He never had a chance at winning over any child, this one just happened to determine the future of the only meaningful relationship Spencer had ever had.

Standing before the door, Spencer took a deep breath, mentally going over all the excuses, reasons and arguments he had thought up. Finally he opened the door.

Hotch was indeed stood before him but for some odd reason was smiling at him,

"Hi." He said brightly.

"Erm, hi." Spencer was confused for all of 5 seconds before he noticed something he really should have noticed before. Jack Hotchner stood at his fathers feet, looking up at Spencer like he was a particularly challenging puzzle.

"Oh, hi. Hi Jack." He said in the overly bright tone his voice always instinctively took on when talking to children. Feeling nervous, he added in a little wave for good measure before shooting a half baffled half accusatory look towards the man before him.

With a smile Hotch asked, "Do you mind if we come in? We brought burgers?"

Spencer, left with little choice really, held open the door and stepped aside, letting the unexpected guests in.

As the two made their way into the apartment, Spencer reached for the door, took a deep breath and convinced himself that he could do this before finally shutting the door.

Turning, Spencer found the two stood at the end of the hall, looking at him expectantly. Spencer suddenly had no idea how to speak.

"Erm, Jack." Aaron thankfully said, " If it's okay with Spencer, you can go sit in the living room while we prepare dinner" and raised his eyebrows expectantly at Spencer.

Jerking back into action, Spencer almost shrieked. "Oh yeah. Sure."

While Jack ran into the room and jumped up onto the couch, Spencer and Aaron headed into the kitchen to dish out dinner.

"Sorry about this," Aaron sighed, "I know an ambush probably wasn't the best thing but, I just needed .. I need to know. Once and for all.".

Biting his lip, Spencer turned to his partner and said, "I'm sorry. I've been avoiding this for a few weeks now and, I just. I have and explanation I just don't know how to explain it." Spencer closed his eyes and huffed, frustrated. He wasn't used to being unable to explain things.

Aaron, seeing his struggle, stepped forward and rubbed his arm. "You know you can tell me anything."

His tone caused Spencer to look up and what he saw made him feel terrible. Aaron, his Aaron was terrified. 'Oh god, he thinks I'm pushing him away because of Jack. Everything he told me he was scared of and I'm confirming it.'

Struggling to make the breath come back to his body, Spencer cupped his lover's face and kissed him. The kiss was deep, warm and long.

When they finally parted, Spencer pressed his forehead to the other man's for a moment, "Aaron, I meant everything I said, I love you not despite of all your … 'Baggage'" He said, complete with finger quotes, "But because of everything you are. I'm just … I'm scared." and shrugged deprecatingly.

Looking confused, Aaron asked quietly, "Of what?"

With that question posed, Spencer sighed again and stepped away from Aaron's embrace. He still really didn't know how to explain this in a way that wouldn't make the other man hate him.

"Of … of Jack!" He said desperately, praying that he was being clear enough to avoid further discussion. A fruitless wish as Aaron looked as confused as ever.

"What?" He asked, baffled.

Spencer decided to just let it all out, all his concerns, "It's just, you can't have someone in your life that Jack doesn't want or like, and if it came down to it you have to know that I wouldn't make anything difficult for you. I'd walk away. But I just really don't want us to be over and yet I can't think of any other way this will turn out. I mean, I bought him a Star Trek DVD. I'm clearly not going to make a good impression and I .. " He couldn't go on any more. He was sure that Aaron was either going to agree with him, laugh at him or hate him.

It was the second thing.

SSA Aaron Hotchner, unit chief, collapsed in a heaving fit of giggles.

After a few seconds of Spencer stood, cross-armed and staring into the far corner of the wall, tapping his foot, he'd had enough.

"Are you quite finished laughing at my insecurities?" He asked snippily.

"I'm …. God … I'm sorry," His lover managed between chuckles, "I'm not …. I'm not laughing at you. I promise."

"Then what?" Spencer snapped, feeling somewhat mocked.

Raising his eyes to Spencer's for the first time since his laughing fit struck, Aaron showed the depth of emotion in his eyes, "I'm relieved. I thought you'd decided I was right the other week."

Allowing his expression to soften, Spencer shook his head. He didn't trust his voice.

"Spencer," Aaron said in a voice that sounded like he was about to explain a maths problem to a child, and Spencer felt his snippy mood creeping back. He felt open and vulnerable enough right now without being further made fun of, "Jack is going to love you. For so many reasons not least of which is .." He stopped for a second there and they changed track suddenly, "Do you know what he asked me when I told him that I was taking him to meet a new friend, on who'd be around a lot more?"

Spencer just shook his head again, no longer annoyed but rather confused. He hated floundering like this.

"He said, 'does he make you smile like you used too?'" Aaron said, looking as though he was fighting back tears.

Which was rather appropriate as Spencer felt a lump in his throat himself at that. "What," he began to say, but had to cough to get the croak out of his voice, "What did you tell him?" He asked quietly.

"I told him you made me smile every single day." Aaron said, his hushed tone matching both Spencer's own voice and the intense nature of their conversation.

At a loss for anything else to say, Spencer asked. "What did he say?"

Smiling, seeing Spencer's awestruck state, Aaron shrugged and said simply, "'Good'"

When Spencer smiled and lowered his eyes, Aaron reached out and cupped his chin. "He'll love you as long as you make me happy, and you will always make me happy Spencer."

There was really nothing Spencer could do after that but lunge forward and kiss the man who owned his heart like there was no tomorrow.

When they both had to come up for air, Spencer felt a lot better about the situation. He was still nervous as hell, but now it was an anticipatory fear and that he could handle.

"Besides," Aaron said brightly as he began dishing out the now cooling burgers and fries, " You can do magic, I really don't think you understand how big of a deal that is to Jack. He asked me for a magicians beginner set last year but I didn't have the courage to get him one. I almost had an anxiety attack just thinking of what he could get up too."

Looking up into Aaron's smiling face excitedly, Spencer saw a way in, "Really? Because I could teach him some tricks, there are so many that kids could learn. And perfectly safe too." He added for Aaron's benefit, "I could teach him a new one each week. And I think you should definitely get him that magic kit, it helps with both dexterity and concentration which could benefit his school work as well as sports and … "

"Spencer! Breath." Aaron chuckled, amused.

Realizing that he had been rambling, Spencer smiled sheepishly but not apologetically, and simply said, "Sorry."

Spencer closed his eyes in contentment when Aaron reached forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before grabbing the plates and making his way into the living room. After taking a second to smile like an idiot at the marvelous way the evening had turned out, Spencer soon followed.

Together they spent the night, eating cold food, watching Disney movies that Aaron had, had the forethought to bring, teaching the young boy rudimentary magic tricks and taking comfort in the warmth of the one thing Spencer had never felt he had fully experienced, family life.

End.

A/N: One of these day's I figure out a way to end a fic with something other than a cheesily, fluffy ending :P