January 13, 2012

Today would've been dad's birthday. January 13th has been a hard day for me and Katie for the past 9 years, but it's been even harder on mom.

My favorite memories of dad are from the rink. The first time he brought me there and I couldn't keep my balance; the day he taught me how to hit the puck; our one-on-one games every weekend; the first goal I scored against him; the time he checked me and I had to be x-rayed (dad always played rough, even against a 7-year-old boy).

I still remember spending our Saturdays and Sundays on the ice, just the two of us. No one else dared to play against us. We were the undefeatable team!

Everything I know about hockey comes from my dad. I wouldn't be an amazing player today if it weren't for his skills. He never gave up on me, no matter how much I cried, "I wanna go home!" or "I'll never be as good as you!" He saw the potential in me when no one else could.

My first memory of him is from when I was young. Three years old?

Mom had finally decided to let me come to one of dad's games. He was doing great out there! By the end of the first half, he had scored seven goals, and he wasn't planning on stopping there.

But when the next quarter started, one of the men from the other team ran toward him instead of the puck and started beating him up. Mom covered my eyes, and I could hear her trying not to cry. When she uncovered my eyes five minutes later, all I saw was a blood stain on the ice where my dad used to be.

I wasn't allowed to see him for a week while he was in the hospital. When he came home, he was bruised all over and was walking on crutches. Mom said she wouldn't let him play on his team anymore. On the other hand, I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.

That was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing him at all. That is until that terrible day- January 24th, 2003- the day of the snowstorm…oh, today's hard enough for me. I shouldn't even think about that day right now.

Mom and Katie are in their pajamas, watching TV in my mom's room right now. It's only 6 o'clock, but I'm not sure they even got dressed at all today.

James, Logan, and Carlos left us the apartment to ourselves. They knew that we needed to be alone.

I'm on my way to the rink right now. I need to get some of my anger and frustration out, and what better way than to slap a hockey puck as hard as you can? I feel bad leaving mom and Katie alone. But they'll understand. They always do.