Day 5

He woke with a start. Not sure where he was. But it felt so good. Bed so comfy. Covers so soft. It felt as if he was on some kind of cotton cloud.

The room was dimly lit but he still felt too lazy to open his eyes.

He kept lying there letting himself slowly wake up. And as more his mind woke more memories returned and now he was able to guess who's place he was. Because he knew it wasn't his dorm.

H was sitting alone in his kitchen wondering about what exactly has happened previous day.

It kinda left him surprised that it all happened. He never expected any of that. Heck he didn't even know Ryan was married. How he managed to hide it from everyone? Why he hid it in first place?

The questions were shooting around his head.

He looked at his watch, 8:30am. Shouldn't he be already awake?

But he didn't want to rush the boy. That kid had been through so much stuff that he better be relaxing.

Ryan looked around the room when everything from the day before came back to him. Of course what else could that be? He was still alive and in the same piece he was previous day.

But he could feel it. Deep inside his body. This ache. Annoying. Intense. Bugger.

He got out of bed feeling the heaviness of previous events spiking up. Sighing he walked to large window. It was early morning, he could tell.

But it didn't matter to him. He was screwed anyways. His original plan failed. But he didn't care anymore. Not today.

Today he just wanted to forget everything and sink deep into darkness and disappear from the surface of the earth. But he knew it wasn't going to happen.

His look glanced over the nightstand. Three bottles of meds and two inhalators. A glass of water stood by, obviously H had thought about him.

H. He sighed again. He kinda feared to face the man. Why? He assumed it was embarrassment of showing his weakness.

Yeah his chances of escape was cut short by his bleeding nose and splitting headache. And he happened to have company by then.

He took one bottle and took few pills out, then took next and did same. After third bottle a pile of pills laid on his palm. Damn her. He shoved all of them in his mouth and washed it away with water. Usually he took something stronger but he let this be an exception. Then he puffed first inhalator in his month swallowing the misty liquid with deep intake of breath. Then the second thing followed.

That being done he went after his jacket and stuffed his little artillery inside its pockets, apart from one bottle and one inhalator. Those two were emergency that needed to be placed in his jeans pockets.

He looked out of the window again. Seemed that weather had decided to ajoin in his own sorrow mirroring his sadness in the stone cold Miami sky. It was time to face the fate.

"Good morning, son." a voice from kitchen greeted him at the moment he put a foot on the floor.

"Morn, H" he mumbled back, taking a seat at kitchen counter.

"How are you feeling?"

Ryan thought for a moment. How did he actually felt?

"Okay. I guess."

Like a shit.

"So then we need to take care of your problem." H said, looking at the young man who looked far worse than he let admit. But it was Ryan. Kid was always pretending to be perfectly fine when he actually was barely hanging.

"Maybe I shouldn't throw it on your shoulders. I could've dealt with it just fine." he tried to brush it off.

"Ryan, I don't think you'd dealt with that. In your condition."

"My condition is my problem. I shouldn't have take my mess on you. I better leave" Ryan told quite sternly, raising up and starting to leave when H stopped him.

"Son, you don't have to do this all alone. You still have friends that want to help you. Don't push them away." he tried to calm the boy. "We can and we will help you. Just don't leave." H nearly begging.

"Ok. I'll let you help me." Ryan finally gave up. It was quite useless to insist otherwise.

After short breakfast H took Ryan to lab where he had to tell his story to rest of the team.

For Ryan it was considerably hard task to deal with. And all he ever wanted was to just drop by and say goodbyes. And that was all. Only thing he returned for. But what he got? Everybody's stares and some tears.
But it was touching. At least he could see how much they really cared.
And it warmed his heart.

When the day slowly crept to other side he'd finished most of the important details about his so called problem. Of course he let out some details that were only his buisness.

Now they were all so eager to find his wife. To make her pay for all she'd done to him.
Yeah like it could somehow magically make him ok again. But it couldn't. And there was nothing to do about it. Not anymore. Not ever again.
But it was missed train. And he had made peace with himself and whatever godlike figure could imagine. Like prisoners after their last meal.

Yeah this was now his last meal.
He looked out at all people springing in and out of the building through the window of his old lab. His lab where he felt like king. Trace. How many extra hours he'd spent here falling asleep on table. But who counts? It was all past now.
Past he wouldn't get back. Not by any miracle. Now his only way was there. Where was no way back.

He walked out of the building, noone ever noticed. Like a ghost. A shadow.
For most of his life he's been a shadow. But now he really felt tired of being one.

He watched the sun slipping down the sky, towards the ocean. One of the most beautiful views. And he realized it's probably the last time he sees it. And today it seemed especially magnificent.

He rubbed his hands, feeling his wedding band. A reminder of better days. Days that could actually made him happy.
But today he's happy only about one thing, the sunset.