A/n: If you recognize it, I don't own it. This story is AU, but not terribly so - just go with it, don't ask when/how the timeline deviated, it's really not important to the story.
The fic is based on something I heard someone say last week. I love hearing pieces of people's conversations.

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Oh So Grandiose

"Have you ever thought about just how many titles we've acquired?"

The Doctor grinned over at Rose. "Sometimes. I don't like to think about it too much, all that stuff gets pretentious after a while."

She grinned back, eyes bright, teeth white. "True enough. But seriously, how many of your companions have those big titles?"

"Well…" The Doctor let the word trail off as he kicked his converse-clad feet onto the TARDIS's control panel. "There's Amy, the Girl Who Waited. Rory, the Last Centurion. Jack managed to swing Captain and the Face of Boe – "

Rose laughed aloud at the reminder of what was going to happen (or perhaps what had already happened, depending on when they would be next) to the dashing ex-time agent. "And don't forget Professor River Song, with her doctorate in archaeology."

"It's always nice to point and laugh," the Doctor agreed with that cheeky smile of his. "Oh, and she had – what was it, Impossible Astronaut?"

"Yeah, I forgot that one! Not so impossible after all, it seems."

"Martha Jones got her medical degree, so she's a Dr. Jones now. And Donna, obviously, the good ol' DoctorDonna."

"The ood are never going to let us forget that they knew it first."

"Yeah, those ood, they have long memories… comes from sharing one giant brain, I s'pect."

"And then there's us," Rose concluded, rolling her eyes. "The Oncoming Storm, how 'bout it?" Her voice almost sang over the words as she teased him. "Bit pompous, don't you think?"

"Can't help what your worst enemies call you. And what about you, the Bad Wolf that creates herself?"

Rose groaned. "Yeah, because that's not completely random and embarrassing! How melodramatic is that?"

"Very," the Doctor replied solemnly, but there was a glint in his brown eyes that said he was still teasing.

"Anyway, that's all I've got. You've still got Destroyer of Worlds and Time Lord Victorious. And you can't blame them on the Daleks, mister, you chose that last one for yourself."

"I was having a bad day," he defended, scowling playfully and weaving his fingers behind his head.

"So what's your excuse for Lonely God, then? Because that one takes the cake for oh-so-grandiose!"

"My excuse is that it's not true anymore, thanks to you - Miss Valiant Child, Defender of the Earth."

"Yeah, that second one was your choice, too, and I still think it's weird when people call me that."

"Oh, and then there's my personal favorite – "

"Don't you dare say it!"

"Stinky."

Rose picked up a book sitting next to her and threw it at him, mildly annoyed and acting enraged. "They just have messed up noses on Azelfafage or something, 'cause I do not smell!"

"No, dear," the Doctor ribbed, catching the book and setting it beside him. "You do smell, but – " he paused to catch a second book " – you smell lovely."

"Can we stop talking about titles? I forgot that neither of us likes any of 'em."

"Oh, but that's not true!" The Doctor sprang to his feet and went to sit beside her, pulling her into his arms in a well-practiced movement that he would never, ever grow tired of. "I've got two titles that I absolutely adore. And neither of them are pretentious at all."

"Really? What're they, then?" Rose snuggled into his arms, one arm snaking around his waist and the other resting on her rounded abdomen.

He kissed each of her cheeks and said, "I've got husband, and father-to-be."