Title: The Pursuit to Slow Realisation

Disclaimer: Artwork is Then by theband ( theband. deviantart art/ Then-27929368)

Rating: M

Warnings: Muggle AU

Chapter One: Love on Santa's Lap

'Oh God, he's here again,' Lily moans as she steps back into the tent to hide. Her bony hip bumps right into Remus's crotch, making him reel back with a pained 'oof'. 'I can't believe it,' she continues her rant, the only acknowledgement to Remus's pain is a curious look towards his hand as he cups his balls to stave off the pain. 'Every bloody year, these two! I don't understand why dad doesn't just ban them from the mall.'

'Who in bloody hell are you talking about?' Remus bites back, not bothering to peek outside the tent. The mall is full of people at this time of year and even more people around their little celebration area. He is extremely agitated because now he has crotch pain to add to his already building headache – a result of listening to screaming and crying children all day for the entirety of the holidays. Remus can already feel his love for children dwindling rapidly.

'Him!' Lily points outside and her finger is way off mark (a sexist part of Remus points out that women have poor aim and directional sense but is wise to keep quiet about it). Yet, the minute Remus take a peek outside, he knows what she is talking about. It is hard to miss. There is after all, a grown man sitting on Santa's lap.

'There is a grown man sitting on Santa's lap,' Remus points out quite obviously. A very handsome grown man, he does not point out; because Lily always chastises his odd taste in men. Well, this one is not so much a man as perhaps an eighteen year old or so. But he is undeniably handsome: straight black hair cut choppily to fall right into his eyes; silvery eyes framed by impossibly dark lashes; and a wicked smile that is enough to make anyone swoon. Remus has never thought the day would come in his short life of seventeen years, when he would desperately want to be Santa Claus. He wonders what his mother will say to his new choice of career path.

'I cannot believe you're ogling at the creepy bloke on Santa's lap,' Lily shrieks indignantly. 'Remus, your taste in men in simply-'

'Appalling,' Remus finishes with an eye roll. 'Yes, you've pointed this out to me quite a few times. I think he's cute.' He doesn't bother looking at Lily's expression. He has known her since they were born and he knows the look of complete disapproval she is shooting him right now. It is too similar to his mother's for comfort. Perhaps that is why she was his first and only girl-crush. There is a perverted rule after all, that boys always seek their mothers in the women they date. 'And I think we're hardly the ones to talk. We are wearing elf costumes.'

'You look more like a werewolf than an elf,' Lily teases. 'Those ears are absolutely unbecoming. I can't believe dad let you be Santa's little helper. You're over six-four!' Lily herself is quite petite, barely five-two and often looks like she can be swallowed alive by Remus. Her fiery personality, however, more than makes up for her vertical disability.

Remus grins roguishly – something that Lily has told him looks completely off on his sweet, boy next door face. Remus hates his face; his ridiculously boyish looks are the reason he is left drinking at the bar alone every weekend. It is also the reason strange old men always feel him up in the tube or offer him sweeties. His substantial height does nothing to help. 'Desperate times call for desperate measures. How many little people can you find in this shite of a town; last minute nonetheless?' Remus sticks his head out to peek again and is frozen to the spot when grey eyes look right back at him.

Santa is adjusting his legs, quite obviously in pain. Remus imagines it is an enormous relief to finally have the man off his lap. Remus would have gladly offered up his in replacement.

'Hello.' The man greets, suddenly appearing in front of Remus's face and causing him to squeal like a little girl and fall back. He lands spectacularly on his bum and thinks this is the worst way to meet possibly the most attractive bloke he's ever seen. He blushes brightly as the man laughs and offers a hand up. 'All right?'

Lily huffs in irritation but Remus ignores her. 'Cheers,' he says, letting his hands linger for a few seconds too long as he hoists himself up.

'Didn't mean to startle you,' he apologises and Remus can't help but admire the timbre of his voice - deep and scratchy, almost like a growl. 'Listen, er,' he looks at Lily hesitantly, 'can I maybe talk to you for a second?'

'There are still five minutes left to his shift,' Lily adds icily, glaring at the other boy. Remus loves her but wishes she just would go away.

'I can buy you a coffee?' He offers and Remus is barely keeping himself jumping from excitement. He thinks of all the times he's wished attractive blokes like this one would ask him on a date. All the times he'd gotten annoyed because he'd been rejected yet again for being just too plain. Today, he thinks, is the best day of his life.

'Hot chocolate,' Remus supplies, already heading out despite Lily's furious scowl. He gives her a wink and an apologetic grin before focusing his undivided attention towards the ridiculously handsome man behind him. He coughs and looks away quickly when he realises he's being too fluttery and girly. He sees what is presumably the 'other irritating bloke' (according to Lily) give the both of them a thumbs up. The man's hideous plaid shirt screams straight.

'My name's Remus, by the way.'

'Sirius.'

'It really is!' Remus exclaims. 'It's a horrible name, I know, but I-'

'My name is Sirius,' Sirius corrects with a laugh. 'Sirius Black.'

'Oh,' Remus blushes, wondering if there is any other possible way he can further humiliate himself. Instead he orders a steaming hot chocolate from the little cafe and pretends to drown in it. He's doesn't open his mouth from fear that he is going to say something hideously embarrassing and clumsy.

'Listen,' Sirius starts, taking a sip of his coffee, 'the reason I wanted to talk to you is my friend, James.' He doesn't seem to notice Remus's frown. 'Thing is, he's absolutely mad about your friend: the bird with red hair.'

Remus can already feel his stomach sinking as he realises where this conversation is heading. 'Lily...'

'Personally, I think she's insane, but James has been trying to ask her out for nearly three years now.' Sirius rolls his eyes, clearly not amused by James's efforts. 'Now he figures that if I ask you out, he can maybe score a double date with her. And I honestly can't explain to him that just because I'm gay and you're gay doesn't necessarily make us gay together.'

'No,' Remus lets out a weak laugh. 'Of course not.' He isn't even sure how, but Remus has managed to humiliate himself yet again without even trying. He is a stupidly tall elf getting rejected in the middle of the mall with what is undoubtedly milk foam on his upper lip. This, he thinks, is the worst day of his life.

'Honestly, you're not really my type. But at this point, I'm willing to try anything to make him shut up about her. He's actually a bloody decent chap if she gives him a chance.' Sirius turns to Remus, shooting him that blasted charming smile again. 'So what do you say? Can we do a pretend date just to get them started?'

Remus really should say no. He should really, honestly say no.

'I can't believe you dragged me into this.' Lily grouches as she walks into the quaint little café, completely ignoring the greeting at the entrance. 'I mean, it is one thing accepting a date from a complete punt, but to drag me along with it. You're lucky I love you so much, Remus Lupin, because I would have killed you otherwise.'

Remus says nothing. He knows Lily by now and knows only too well that opening his mouth will only fuel her temper further. The waiter on the other end is giving him sympathetic looks. As always, they are being mistaken for a couple; Lily as the over bearing girlfriend and Remus as her misfortunate partner.

Their relationship is unusual, Remus has to admit. They have been friends for as long as Remus can remember; their parents being good friends since college themselves. For a short period, they'd even dated. Lily had been all of Remus's firsts and he'd been so, so afraid of losing her friendship that he'd pretended to be her wonderful, straight boyfriend. He had remembered all their anniversaries, bought her flowers and showered her with gifts. He'd opened doors for her, held her when she had been upset, and won her parents over perfectly. All of Lily's friends had cooed over him, letting her know how lucky she was to have him, until she had broken down one day and confessed that she loved him but not in the romantic sense. He had just not been "her type". Remus had to admit that despite the immense relief her declaration had brought him, it had hurt. It had hurt because he had tried his hardest and given everything to the relationship, and he'd still not been enough. At the end of the day, it had seemed that Remus was never anybody's "type".

'Is she always this unbearable?'

Remus starts out of his thoughts only to find Sirius beside him. His breath catches as it hits him yet again how gorgeous the other man is. Sirius is wearing a black leather jacket over a band shirt Remus has never heard of. A pair of black bike gloves is hanging from the back pocket of his wonderfully tight jeans that hug his arse so perfectly that Remus can't help but look back and stare. There is a silver chain swinging from his neck that carries a wolf shaped pendant and what looks quite a bit like a paw print. His hair is pulled back in a tiny ponytail that should have been ridiculous but only brings more attention to his wonderfully light grey eyes. This, Remus thinks, is the reason he hadn't been able to say no. He had wanted to ogle at what was clearly the most magnificent human being he has ever laid eyes on.

Remus looks away with a blush when he realises that he's been staring too long. 'She yells because she cares.' He doesn't think he spoke very loud, but sees Lily shoot him a grateful look nonetheless. The look however turns spiteful yet again as Remus lets Sirius drag him into the seat beside him, leaving her to sit beside "James".

James would have been a decent looking chap had it not been his horrid assortment of shirts. Remus has an inkling that he chooses to wear shirts like this to keep away any misunderstandings of him being gay as well. He is also clearly infatuated with Lily. His hazel eyes only gets larger behind his black rimmed glasses as she grudgingly sits down beside him. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, unable to do much more than gargle. Remus would have laughed if he had not been feeling sorry for the bloke.

Remus is about to say something when the waiter interrupts them for their order. Lily orders her usual croissant and Earl Grey, and Sirius orders Black coffee (just like his name) and an entire breakfast package that is too big for one man alone. Clearly, Sirius has an insatiable appetite. The idea immediately conjures up dirty images in Remus's mind and he tries his hardest to shoo them away. When it comes to Remus, he orders an extra large cup of hot chocolate and two pieces of chocolate cake all for himself. Everyone apart from Lily looks at him with wide eyes and Remus finds his cheeks reddening, as he mumbles, 'chocolate is good for you'. James's order is nothing but unintelligible gargles and the waiter gives up after the third attempt. Sirius takes pity on him and orders instead.

'Told you he was stupidly smitten,' Sirius leans in and whispers into Remus's ear. 'He took two hours to get ready today; worse than a bloody woman.' When Remus raises a sarcastic eyebrow, Sirius laughs. 'I already told him that shirt wasn't doing him any favours, but he was convinced it was the one that would finally convince Lily of his charm.' He rolls his eyes as James, yet again, struggles to string two words together. 'This is bloody ridiculous.'

'Says the bloke sitting on Santa's lap yesterday,' Remus teases with a cheeky grin.

Sirius looks completely unabashed by Remus's friendly jibe. 'I missed a lot of my childhood, thanks to my family, so I take every opportunity to relive it the most I can. I've cared long enough about what people think.'

'Can't be that horrible,' Remus shrugs, 'Christmas goes on for three weeks in my family. We have a large extended family and everyone wants a part or really an excuse to get drunk. The first week of December, we have the entire family over at my house and it's like an episode of Coronation Street. There's always a fight breaking out somewhere over whose stuffing is better; people necking in the toilets; babies screaming their little diapers off; aunties pulling cheeks raw; and at least one heart attack that turns out to be just a repressed fart resulting from overeating.'

Sirius laughs so loud that it even breaks James out of his Lily induced haze. He doesn't apologise for the snorting either, and Remus can't help but find both the snort and the show of confidence endearing. 'Sounds like a riot,' he chuckles and then slowly turns somber. 'Christmases at theGreat and Noble Ancient House of Black,' he spits out his last name like a curse, 'are usually just a show - one big stuffy party where they discuss dirty politics and how anyone who's not English is filth. Inbred bastards can't even stand each other, but pose for the press like they are one big happy family.' By now, Sirius's fists are clenched. 'Trust me, I would give anything to have a Christmas like yours.'

Even Lily is now looking sorry for Sirius. James looks knowing, as if he's seen all of this beforehand and gone beyond feeling sorry for Sirius to just trying to support him. Remus has to admit that he is slightly impressed by the fact that Sirius is that kind of Black. It would certainly explain Sirius's ridiculously posh accent. The Blacks are old money; practically royalty; and so steeped into politics that it would take years to break the surface for air. 'I'm sorry,' he says sympathetically, his hand closing around Sirius's fists. 'You're invited to my place for Christmas if you like,' Remus blushes as soon as the offer spills from his mouth. Lily is looking at him incredulously, no doubt thinking that he is going too fast. It's only your first date, he can hear her scream. Thing is, it's not his first date. Sirius isn't even attracted to him and Remus has accepted this. But a part of him wants to see Sirius again and be with him just a little bit longer, even if it's just as friends. 'I mean, if you don't mind coming of course. It's not an obligation or anything.'

James smiles and answers for Sirius, 'We'd love to.'

Remus doesn't quite remember inviting James.

Lily's look is now murderous. She is part of the Lupin Christmas after all; as good as family. Remus doesn't quite understand why she is this furious, but has an inkling that it might have something to do with James sidling up to her in what he probably thinks is a conspicuous manner.

'Thanks,' Sirius whispers quietly, one hand on Remus's knee. 'This means a lot to James.'

Remus's voice is clogged in his throat and all he can think about is how lovely Sirius's fingers are and how he wishes they would move a little higher.

'I know I asked all this of you out of the blue and you really didn't have to do anything if you didn't want to.' Sirius smiled softly. 'You're a nice guy, Remus.'

Remus feels his heart sink as he realises that is exactly what he is: a Nice Guy. The guy who always did the right thing and never denied any favours; the guy everyone loved but no one was ever in love with. The Nice Guy.

Remus smiles bitterly. 'Thanks.'

'Remus, sweetheart, how are you?' Violet Evans hugs Remus tightly, kissing both his cheeks as her customary show of affection. 'I swear, you just get more and more handsome every day. Such a shame you and Lily aren't dating anymore.' She sighs, sadly glancing at her daughter. 'Look at him, Lily. Look how perfect he is; won't you rethink?'

'Mum, stop it!'

Mrs. Evans makes a disappointed noise and walks in to the living room to join the rest of the women, Lily following behind her after a kiss on Remus's cheek and an affectionately whispered, 'ponce'.

Remus smiles and wonders what Mrs. Evans would say if she knew he were gay. But telling her would also mean telling his parents and he isn't quite ready for that disappointment yet. Remus's mother is already sobbing on a nightly basis over his future career choice. 'With a brain like that, sweetheart, you could be a doctor': is what she said. But Remus doesn't want to be a doctor or an athlete, like his dad wants. Remus wants to be a writer or perhaps a teacher. He has already applied to universities in London to study Literature.

'Uncle Remy, I fink I went on the carpet.'

Or maybe be wants to be a plumber.

He looks at his two year old nephew, wide amber eyes, thumb in mouth, and a very guilty stain in the front of his Andy Pandy trousers. This is an improvement, he thinks, because last year, Joey's aim had landed spectacularly on Remus's shoes.

'That is going to leave a stain.'

Remus turns to see Sirius and James behind him, looking at the stain on the carpet with amusement. James, for some ungodly reason, is wearing a suit coat on top of a hideously knitted, yellow Christmas sweater. Sirius is wearing something very similar but in red and despite the utter atrocity that it is, he manages to look handsome. Remus's heart would have fluttered had he not been currently faced with a larger pee stain on his mother's precious cream carpet. He also wonders if he can get away with not having to clean it if he pretended never to have noticed it.

'Thanks for the flowers,' Remus finally says, deciding that ignorance is bliss and he is already a disappointment so a little more of it will hardly make a difference.

'They're not for you.' James moves the bouquet of flowers away from Remus's outstretched hands possessively. Remus would have been offended if it wasn't for the hilariously love sick expression on James's face. Lily is in for one hell of a Christmas because James seems to be armed with a bucket load of charm and amusing conversation at hand (or in flash cards peeking out of his jacket pocket).

'Living room to your right,' Remus points out, sharing a secret grin between him and Sirius. They both wait and watch in silence until they hear the resounding sound of a slap and what is clearly the sound of Lily's temper shooting out the roof. A very colourful range of swears come next and Remus is sure all his little cousins and nephews are going to have a dandy time using them over the next few years at highly inappropriate times.

As if on cue, Remus's rather boisterous cousin, Ian Lupin steps into the stain on the carpet and shouts quite proudly, 'Son of a bitch!'

Remus sighs.

'Am I still invited?' Sirius asks, with a grin so large that it threatens to fall off. The light in his grey eyes dances as he looks from left to right, taking in all the screaming cousins, the boisterous aunts, and the clearly drunk uncles singing Christmas carols off tune. Remus's dad is leading this makeshift choir on the piano, his fingers slipping over the keys in his drunken haze. Only the Irish, he thinks, will ever get drunk before dinner.

Then Christmas tree falls, courtesy of Uncle Dara's enthusiastic dancing.

'Bloody brilliant,' Sirius mutters and Remus is surprised to actually hear excitement in his voice. When Remus looks at him with a raised eyebrow, he grins, 'I have never seen so many insane people in one room before. It's wicked!' Remus is sure that his and Sirius's definition of mayhem and chaos are vastly different. Sirius is already leaving Remus to join the party, immediately breaking into song with the rest of Remus's uncles.

It is at that exact moment that Remus finds imperfection in Sirius; the man's singing is as atrocious as James's sweater. He is even putting up a horrible accent to mimic the rest of the Lupin clan. It is astounding how he blends right in with the rest of the men, arm in arm with Remus's dad as they both break into a rapid and uncoordinated river dance. Remus groans out of embarrassment and heads out to rescue their Christmas tree.

The Christmas tree that is as grand and large as the current mess the house is in. He hears the shrill whistle of the kettle from the kitchen and sighs in relief when he thinks of his mother's delicious tea. When chocolate is scarce, turn to tea, Remus always says. His relief is short lived however, as the decorations bump against his head painfully. He only narrowly misses the falling angel from the very top of the tree. Good riddance, he thinks, because that angel looks at him funny every Christmas. It is evil, he reckons, because its eyes seem to follow him everywhere he went.

'Remus, me boy, come join us!' Remus's dad yells in his ear, making him cringe. John Lupin is a large man, much like Remus, except a ridiculous amount of stocky. His shoulders and chest stretch impossibly wide and a large beer belly hangs behind a tightly tucked shirt. His hands are the size of entire frying pans and have yet to lose a fight. He is a frightening man to look at, but his rosy cheeks and cheerful smile belie his stature.'O holy night! The stars are brightly shining;
it is the night of the dear Saviour's birth…'

Remus plugs his ears and is just about to make his way to Lily (the only sane person in this madness), when he hears a muffled scream of panic behind him. He frowns and takes his fingers out of his ears, 'What?' He screams over the singing, looking back at Sirius waving his arms wildly. Was that a new dance now? Oh God, will his father start it too now? 'I can't hear you!' He yells over the ho-hum. 'What did you say?'

'I said, watch out!'

Remus doesn't even have time to process the meaning of this apparent warning. Because right then, he hears James scream, 'Loose fireworks!'And is then subsequently barreled by what feels like cannonball to his gut. It feels like he's on fire. He falls backwards, feeling someone violently patting an already blossoming bruise on his stomach and realises he is on fire. He coughs, his eyes rolling upwards as he watches scores of feet surround him. His mum is crying and his dad is panicking an entire storm. Sirius is still straddling his knees and trying to put out the fire on Remus's jumper with that hideous red sweater. This, he thinks as he slips out of consciousness, is not as pleasurable as he imagined Sirius undressing on his lap would be.

'We agreed to keep the fireworks till the end. I can't believe you! Indoors, too! He could have died or something!'

'I told you, it was a mistake! It just slipped out!'

'That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I know you did this on purpose to impress that stupid bint!'

'I did not!'

'Shut up, the both of you! I knew it was a big mistake for Remus to invite you, but the bloody idiot-'

Remus groans. He cannot even be unconscious in peace. The door slams loudly and he feels the bed dip by his side. He knows from weight alone that it is Lily and that she must have only just entered. He groans even louder and moves close to her, because no matter how much she tells him off, she does care for him a rather lot. Remus also has a bit of a mummy complex and revels in the fussy maternal attention that Lily bestows him. Yet again, he wonders why exactly he is gay. It seems more trouble than it's worth.

'Come on, Remus, we need to take your shirt off,' he hears Lily say and sits up, despite his entire body telling him it would be easier to just sleep it off. He feels a slight twinge when the skin across his stomach pulls and he imagines that is where the burn is. It must be minor if he isn't in the ER already, though now that the others have stopped bickering, he can actually hear his mum sobbing quite hysterically on the other side.

'I asked your mum to stand outside for a bit,' Lily explains as if reading Remus's mind. 'You know how she gets. She nearly had Potter arrested; not that I'm against it.' Through his slitted eyes, he sees Lily shoot James a dirty look. James, for his part, looks thoroughly chastised and extremely guilty. 'It's a good thing Black was the only one actually thinking. I suppose your taste is getting a bit better,' she admits grudgingly.

Remus thinks it is the most inappropriate comment ever, given the situation. For one, he is in a decent bit of pain from both the burns and the impact; and would like nothing more than a pain killer and some sleep. He would also like some medication for the humiliation that is sure to last him for the rest of his life. Also, his bad taste in men hasn't improved in the slightest; he is fake-dating a bloke to hook up his best friend with someone she detests. Remus tries to remember a time when life was a little less complicated

'Arms up,' Lily instructs, gently pulling his t-shirt of his head. He notices that he is no longer wearing his favourite purple jumper and wonders if it is salvageable at all. He opens his eyes and looks pitifully at Lily, eyes conveying the sorrow he feels at the loss of his jumper. She dutifully ignores it and starts applying a familiar smelly cream on his abdomen, where his skin is bright red and peeling only a little. 'Sudocrem,' she explains shortly, though he knows this already. His mother has been using it to cure just about every ailment from nappy rashes to an ingrown toenail. 'Tell me if it hurts.'

'Cold,' Remus protests and is about to complain some more just for the heck of it when he realises that Sirius and James are watching him with their mouths wide open. James looks like his whole life is falling apart. Sirius simply looks in awe and Remus realises he has been behaving like a complete baby. Fuck, he thinks, feeling his face flush brightly as he tries to hide behind his hair.

'Wow!' Sirius exclaims after a while. 'Wow, I didn't expect you to be this…' He blinks and waves his hand at Remus's torso. Remus isn't sure what it is he's supposed to be seeing so he blinks in confusion, looks down, and tries to find some kind of mushroom growing on his chest. 'You are really…' Sirius swallows, eyes nearly bulging as he continues to looks at Remus. Remus is now convinced that his nipples are too big to be man nipples...or something… 'You are really fit.' One of Sirius's hands move over his abdominals in admiration. Remus's face feels on fire and he breathes in sharply when one of the fingers brush over his burn. 'Sorry,' Sirius apologises with a smile. 'Honestly, you look positively scrawny behind all those wooly jumpers and elf costumes.'

Lily swats Sirius's hands away, making James's glare intensify. 'He's a good swimmer,' she says gruffly, unrolling a rather large ball of bandages and getting started on mummifying Remus thoroughly. 'Can't you see the medals back there?' Sure enough, all of them turn to look at the tacky showcase full of trophies his mother had insisted on keeping. Remus has hated it from the very start and now with everyone's eyes on it, he feels the murderous urge to smash it to pieces. He isn't the type to flaunt his achievements or possessions; he is quiet and somewhat shy. On many occasions, he has tried to hide these medals behind his beloved books.'They're offering him a full scholarship to join the university team,' Lily adds more proudly than Remus's mother ever has.

Sirius looks thoroughly impressed and when he looks back at Remus, there is new found respect in his eyes. Perhaps, Remus thinks, the showcase isn't so bad. 'James and I are on the footy team. James is thinking of applying to one of the clubs this spring.'

James looks hopefully at Lily, who seems completely unimpressed by this little fact.

'I'll just go assure your mum, all right?' Lily says, snipping the end of the bandage and tying the end into a secure knot. Remus looks like he has a beer belly – much like his dad. 'Don't come out until I say so, though I think Patrick has it covered for the most part. He's the one who gave me the bandages; always has a handy supply in his car.'

Most people assume Cousin Patrick is a doctor because of his impressive supply of prescription drugs and medical equipment. Truth is, he has an extreme case of Illness Phobia, and constantly thinks he is dying of disease. It is of no reassurance whatsoever that Patrick is taking care of his mother.

'Stay.´ Lily scolds when Remus makes to get up. 'You'll make things worse and hurt yourself in the process.' She pushes him gently into the bed one last time, kisses his forehead, and leaves. Just before the door closes, she glares at James and Sirius with one last warning, 'Don't do anything stupid or I'll kill you.'

They all watch the door close awkwardly before James suddenly rounds on Remus, straddling his thighs. 'You bastard, you're straight!' He accuses, finger pointed right into Remus's face. He ignores Remus's startled expression and Sirius's bark of laughter. 'Why did you agree to go out with Sirius if-'

'First of all,' Remus bites out, miffed and feeling extremely uncomfortable as James continues to press into him, 'I did not agree to go out with Sirius. I'm not even his type.' He is glad to see Sirius wincing at the familiar jibe. He casts a nervous look towards James who seems to have not understood the situation. 'And I'm not straight either,' Remus clarifies further. 'The two of us have been friends since we were little, so it's only normal for us to be close. Not that I have to justify our actions to you. You who came to my house and attempted to murder me within the very first hour.'

'I told you that was a mistake! James cries out, throwing his hands up in exasperation. 'And how do I know you aren't lying?'

'He isn't lying, James,' Sirius drawls confidently, leaning back so that he and Remus are sharing a pillow, sides pressed against each other. Remus is more uncomfortable than ever before. He is shirtless, with two boys pressing too close to his body and no Lily to mediate in between. He is also still in pain and wonders if Lily bypassed the pain medicine just to make him suffer.

James glares through his owlish glasses. 'You don't know that…'

Sirius raises an eyebrow and then looks pointedly at Remus's crotch. There is a small but very noticeable bulge there and Remus curses the fact that he wore tight trousers today just to impress Sirius. Irony is cruel. 'Mate,' Sirius says in all seriousness, 'you're giving him a boner.'

At this rate, Remus thinks, burning to death would not have been so bad a fate.

'All right?'

Remus rubs his eyes and blinks. He looks outside and sure enough, the sun is barely up. It is the holidays and Remus is staring at Sirius Black's gorgeous face at an ungodly time of the morning. Remus knows it is ungodly because he is standing out in the freezing cold in his flannel ducky pyjamas (which he would never come out in consciously) and also because he is not in the least bit happy to be awake.

'Nice pyjamas,' Sirius comments with a raised eyebrow. His eyes go down to Remus's socks which are striped like a bleeding rainbow. If ever James decides to doubt Remus's sexuality again, this would be a good outfit to wear.

'What are you doing here?' Remus asks finally, after he has wrapped his head around the fact that this is not a bad dream and he really is awake. He wraps his arms around himself, shivering a little. Puffs of cold air escape his lips as he speaks again, 'it's barely morning…' Which is probably not true because Remus's parents are up; but the sun is being just as sleepy and stubborn as Remus is.

Sirius shrugs. 'Lily is awake,' when Remus looks at him with a puzzled expression, he rolls his eyes and says as if entirely obvious, 'James is stalking her.' He grins and then throws his arms around Remus's shoulders, inviting himself into the Lupin house. He kicks the door close behind him and Remus winces when he sees a large muddy footprint left behind. Remus's mother is not going to be happy. 'It was all right for the first half hour but then got a bit tedious really. Don't worry, James isn't a pervert,' he assures at Remus's worried look as they climb up the stairs to Remus's bedroom. 'He doesn't peek. That's me.' Sirius sends a sly wink jus as Remus takes off his shirt. Under normal circumstances, Remus would have blushed plenty but he is currently covered in a swath of bandages that are hardly any turn on.

It is weird how he doesn't feel as conscious as he should. His body is riddled with multiple scars, especially the one over his shoulder down to his chest. People always stare at them, though they aren't as obscene as they used to be when the accident first happened, but Remus has only ever been comfortable with his parents and Lily. Perhaps it is the nonchalant way Sirius lies back in his bed that eases him. Perhaps it is the ease at which their conversation flows; as if they've known each other for years rather than just days. This is after all, only the third time Remus is seeing Sirius; though their telephone calls have been much more frequent ever since the Lupin Christmas party after which Remus's mum took quite a shine to Sirius. Remus now knows that Sirius is a runaway from London, living with the Potters as a second son. He knows that Sirius is seventeen years old, going on eighteen in a few months. And that, just like Remus and Lily, he is taking a gap year between school and University to decide an appropriate career path. Remus also knows that Sirius loves dogs, meat pies, motorbikes, and pulling outrageous pranks. He reallywants to know more.

'You're treating me to breakfast,' Remus grouches, pulling on his trousers. He rolls his eyes when Sirius clucks his tongue in disappointment. 'This is the third time you've woke me up from a perfectly good sleep. Every bloody time you call, my mum treats the phone like the Holy Grail.'

Sirius shrugs, though a cheeky grin is already creeping up his face. 'I can't help it if your mum fancies me.'

Remus pretends to gag. 'Let's go then. We need to be at the bus stop in ten minutes if we want to reach there any time today.' He shoves his feet in his shoes and then pulls Sirius forcefully out of the bed by his upper arm. He doesn't let go of Sirius's arm even when the boy starts walking by himself; mainly because Sirius has a tendency to get very distracted. The other part of him just wants to be able to hold Sirius's hand. He drops it when they come close to the kitchen where his parents are having breakfast and waves to his mother instead.

'Why don't we take your car?' Sirius asks, blowing a flying kiss to Mrs. Lupin as they move out of the house. The bus stop is only a block away but Remus still hurries. 'We could get there much faster. Just have your driver bring it over.'

Remus stops quite literally in his tracks. 'Sirius, I-' He honestly doesn't know what to say, so he huffs in exasperation. 'I'm middle class.'

Sirius looks about as enlightened as a guppy. 'Does that mean your driver is poor?'

'It means I don't have a driver?' Remus explains with a laugh. 'Or much of a car for that matter; it can only go for about fifteen miles or so before falling apart. Honestly, how the hell did you come here?'

'The Potter's chaffeur dropped me off,' Sirius replies simply, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Remus had almost forgotten that the Potters were about as rich as the Blacks, though much more modest about their wealth. Despite being a runaway, Sirius's clothes are extremely well tailored and constantly smell of expensive perfume. Still, to be completely oblivious to public transport is a bit much; surely Sirius could not have lived that much of a sheltered little rich boy life.

'Come on then,' Remus beckons, when the bus pulls over in front of them. 'Get on before the masses start to push. If this is your first time, you're in for a hell of a ride!' He pulls Sirius up easily and thanks all the Gods up there that the bus isn't as badly crowded as most days. Though he has a feeling it is about to get worse. 'Please,' he offers up his seat to a very pretty woman even before he's sat down. She shoots him a grateful smile.

'Why did you give up your seat?' Sirius whispers a little too loudly. He frowns disdainfully at the woman beside him and then at the handlebars that Remus is clutching on to for life, as the bus rattles and shakes down the road. 'It was yours!'

Both Remus and the woman colour brightly. 'Sirius,' he whispers through clenched teeth, shooting an apologetic look at the woman. 'She's pregnant.'

If Remus is expecting Sirius to feel any remorse over the poor woman's situation, he is sadly mistaken. He simply turns his lip even higher and simply says, 'Then she should have asked her driver to take her instead.' He looks around the entire bus, taking in the wide array of people with not so polite curiosity. 'Are they all middle class?'

Remus groans and simply gives up answering any of Sirius's questions. 'Sirius, this is going to be a really long ride, so if you could maybe just not speak.' He tries to ignore the sinfully adorable pout on Sirius's face and focuses ahead instead. Which is a bit of a mistake, because he catches the eye of a middle aged man who is winking at him and making very lewd fisting motions. Not that this is anything new. This happens nearly everywhere Remus goes: the supermarket, the bus, even the bloody toilets. Lily calls him a geezer magnet in jest. Apparently, something about Remus's lanky stature, floppy brown hair, and pale boyish face is extremely attractive for men over the age of forty. Somewhere up there, Remus thinks God is having a right laugh at his constant failure in securing dates with people his age (or at least in the vicinity of it). He is seventeen, ready for university, and has only ever been on dates with Lily Evans. Sometimes, even Remus finds it hard to believe he is gay; he is not exactly putting up a very convincing argument.

'What's wrong?'

Remus looks to Sirius, who has been uncharacteristically quiet for five whole minutes. 'Hm?'

'You keep shuffling and flattening yourself against the window. I think you even got some gum stuck on your arse,' Sirius points out helpfully.

Remus smiles reassuringly at Sirius. 'It's nothing. Just a tactical move I learned early on.' He sighs when Sirius looks at him expectantly, obviously wanting some more information. Too used to the current situation to be embarrassed anymore, he looks pointedly at the old geezer giving him the eye. Already, the man has shifted himself two steps closer. 'Better gum than old man hands,' he explains cryptically but the way Sirius's eyes shift and darken, he can tell that the message has been received. Apparently, Sirius isn't quite as daft as he seems. 'It happens all the time, so nothing to worry abo- Sirius, what are you doing?' Remus cries when Sirius gets off his seat and positions himself right in front of Remus. His hands settle on each side of Remus's head for support as he leans so close that their noses are touching. Remus can even feel Sirius's trouser zipper against his thigh; it is extremely uncomfortable.

Sirius shoots a glare behind him; then turns back to Remus with a happy grin. 'Problem solved!'

Which is really not true, because now, Remus has to find a way to get his cock to move inwards so as to avoid brushing it with Sirius's. The torture is almost enough to wish the old chap was pressing into him instead. 'Sirius, this is really not necessary,' Remus tries, cursing himself when his voice comes off a little raspy. 'I can take care of myself.'

'Psh,' Sirius dismisses, his breath warm on Remus's cheek. 'I'm protecting your honour. Damn, you're so hard, Remus.'

Remus feels his face explode. 'I-I'm sorry…I-I-'

'Every inch of your body is bloody bone!'

Remus finds himself sag in relief. He is already giving up on struggling against Sirius's madness and just accepting the fact that he is stuck here for another half hour. At least the old timer has stopped staring, instead opting for a disgruntled expression. He leans his forehead against Sirius's shoulder, sighing. Once he gets over the fact that they are standing way too close, Remus realises that Sirius's shoulder is quite comfortable. His skin is just the right temperature and smells bloody wonderful. His hair occasionally tickles Remus's nose but otherwise, Remus finds himself getting almost sleepy in Sirius's arms.

'You know, I've wanted to ask you this for a while,' Sirius starts, one hand wrapping around Remus's back across the shoulder blades while the other braces their bodies against the window. 'Did you have an accident or something?' His fingers run over Remus's jumper, tracing, with perfect accuracy, one of the more prominent scars across Remus's chest. 'I noticed it the first time we met; that elf costume has quite a plunging neckline.' He smiles weakly at the feeble joke. 'You don't have to answer me if you don't want to…'

For a second, Remus hesitates. But then he looks at the sincerity in Sirius's grey eyes and finds himself admitting to a part of his life that very few people knew. 'When my dad was still in school, he witnessed a murder by Fenrir Greyback.' There is a sharp intake of breath from Sirius. 'People were afraid to testify against him back then; I guess they still are. So when my dad finally went to the police and then court; Fenrir got sentenced to twenty years on parole. Should have been for life, but he had friends in higher places, I suppose.' Remus looks out the window, quietly watching the people disembark as the bus comes to a stop. There is a little boy, no older than four, throwing a furious tantrum over a denied ice cream cone. 'When I was five, he got out. Prison had done him no favours and the only thing he wanted was revenge. And he got it.'

Sirius's face is set in a mixture of disgust, anger, and disbelief. 'But you were a-'

'A child?' Remus smiles bitterly. 'I only remember flashes of what happened, really. I remember him in my bedroom, looming over me. And I remember a knife and the feeling of his boots falling on my body. I was nearly dead when they found me. One of my ribs had punctured my lung and…' He points at the scar across his chest. 'My parents spent every penny they had on surgery and the best treatments.' That is the worst of it, he thinks, swallowing heavily. He has long conquered his fear of Greyback and knives, but the incident still brings forth painful memories that clog his throat. 'Even after I'd somehow made it, I had trouble breathing after that so they suggested I take up swimming to learn to regulate my breaths and also increase lung capacity. One thing led to another and it turns out that I have quite a knack for it.' He shifts slightly as Sirius's arms wrap a little tightly around him, as if in a reassuring hug. 'My breathing sometimes acts up when I panic a lot so… Swimming is kind of like my buffer; it calms me.'

'Is that why your mum was crying the other day?'

Remus laughs. 'Nah, that's just my mum. She even cries every time one of her dishes break. You should have seen her the other day when dad chipped a mug falling off the stairs. She couldn't decide what to be dramatic about so settled for crying at periodic intervals throughout the day.'

Sirius chuckles. 'You know, when I first met you, I was so sure I knew exactly who you are: the little mummy's boy who buttoned his shirts right up to the top and talked of nothing but the weather and politics.' He twirls one of Remus's curls between his fingers and then pushes it out of the way. 'But you continue to surprise me every time.'

Remus blushes, suddenly feeling ridiculously happy over such a simple little praise. He wonders what to say next. Should he say thank you? Or maybe he should give back a similar praise? Thankfully, he is saved from having to think too much when the bus screeches to a halt. 'That's our stop,' he says cheerfully, happy and disappointed at the same time to finally be out of Sirius's arms. 'Last one out is a geezer magnet!'

'Mhm, I'll see you on Sunday, then. No, you may not come at bloody eight in the morning just to see me in my ducky pyjamas again. Besides, I wear manlier, striped ones now.' Remus huffs. 'All right then. Bye!'

'Remus Lupin, look at you,' Lily singsongs, flopping on to the bed beside Remus and nudging him in the shoulder. 'Getting all love sick over the phone. I'm surprised you aren't getting engaged already.'

'Don't be daft,' Remus dismisses, though he knows his face is colouring a lovely shade of tomato already. 'I'm not love sick. We're just having a normal conversation about every day, trivial matter.'

'Really?' Lily raises an eyebrow and looks pointedly at the photograph of Sirius and him from the day they'd gone skiing. Remus had pretended to be terribly scared of heights just to have an excuse to cling to Sirius. It is pathetic, he knows, but every time he looks at the picture, he feels his stomach bubble from happiness. 'And everyday trivial matters usually consist of the two of you discussing what you're wearing right now and what you will be wearing on your twenty seventh date tomorrow?

Technically, they aren't really dates. After their first little hang out, Sirius has taken to asking Remus more and more to go places with him and teach him new things. They have even gone apartment scouting for when Sirius moves out (courtesy of Sirius's uncle's generous will which left behind a decent amount of "pocket money"). While Remus is thrilled at how fast they are becoming close friends, he can't help but let a tiny flame of hope linger. Still, he is and always has been a realist, so he doesn't act on it nor does he expect anything beyond a friendly relationship. He's okay, he thinks, with Sirius being just a really good mate.

'Lily, I'm gay. Of course I'm talking about clothes.' He ignores her disbelieving look as he uses his 'gay stereotype' card to get out of the situation. Unfortunately, Remus barely makes the minimum requirement of gay - having never actually dated a man or really kissed one. Having Lily as an ex-girlfriend does not help matters. 'Why are you even counting?'

Lily laughs and ruffles his hair. 'Look at you blushing! You are completely in love with him!' She laughs even louder when Remus argues with an, 'am not! 'I have to admit, he's not a complete berk. Not like that bastard friend of his anyway. Do you know, he brought an entire orchestra to my front door last night, as he sang some ridiculous love song he's written himself! The neighbours will be talking about it for months!'

'For someone you can't stand, you seem to talk an awful lot about him,' Remus shoots back, hoping to deviate the topic from him and Sirius. The 'L' word had dropped so easily from Lily's mouth that Remus now finds himself in turmoil. He is afraid that it might actually be true.

'That's because he's always around, trying to open doors, pick out chairs, offer his jacket, read poetry...ugh!' Lily screams in frustration, messing up her hair and then flopping into Remus's lap. 'No amount of telling him to fuck off seems to work. I need a bloody restraining order.'

'He sounds like a dream to me,' Remus reasons, looking down at her. 'He means well and I think he genuinely fancies you. You need to stop being so hard on him and give him a chance.' When Lily huffs indignantly, Remus places a calming hand on her forehead. A tantrum is the last thing he needs from her.

'He's pompous,' Lily argues weakly, looking up at him. 'And so bloody loud, as if everything has to be a performance. He plays these horrid pranks and tries to charm and flirt his way with everyone in his path. It's bloody infuriating!'

It all sounds horridly familiar to Remus and he looks away from her uncomfortably. Another reason Remus doesn't allow himself to hope, despite him and Sirius getting closer, is because Sirius has a tendency to flirt with everyone. He throws winks and flying kisses all over the place. It was the worst on New Year's eve when they'd ventured to the club, where Sirius had been like the bloody pole everyone wanted to grind against. Back then, Remus had tried to dispel the hurt he felt when he saw Sirius pocket quite a few phone numbers, pretending instead to enjoy the barrage of free drinks.

'Did Sirius give you this shirt, then?' Lily's question breaks Remus out of his thoughts. 'I've never seen it before.'

Remus nods. 'Christmas present. It came with a box of chocolates, if you want to share...' He doesn't mention all the other presents Sirius keeps insisting on buying him, as he brings out a box of ridiculously expensive Belgian chocolates. The packaging alone is enough to make one's mouth water and the smell is absolutely heavenly.

Lily grins, popping two at a time without bothering to chew. 'Damn, Lupin, you scored a perfect man for yourself.'

And that was exactly Remus's problem. Sirius was just bloody perfect. Sirius also wasn't the least bit interested.

So, this was meant to be a one shot for Christmas initially but then I just kept on writing and writing and writing. So, it's going to be a little three-shot romance. None of the complicated story lines I usually do. Just a really sweet and simple love/fluff/that thing where your heart skips a beat story. So hope you guys enjoyed the first part and do drop in a review with what you liked and maybe would like to see. Cheers!