Hey guys! There's a long author's note at the end if you're into excuses and apologies. I also have gotten tired of editing this chapter so I apologize in advance for all the mistake. I'll go back later and fix them.

She hasn't been able to mentally get back to the place she was before she found out that she's the reason her life has been as hard as it is. Bonnie knows that it's not all her fault, and she reminds herself of this, but it. is. her. fault. That guilt she's harboring is mentally blocking her. It's making her dangerous.

She's tried everything. Meditation. Wearing a pendant with nuummite to open up her connection with the earth. Channeling Klaus isn't enough anymore. Her emotions are likely to swing at any time, and if it's draining on her, it doesn't really matter how much power she takes. She channels power from the other hybrids as well, but it shouldn't be this hard.

The funny thing is she can still feel Nature. Feel her in every breeze, and when she walks past a rose bush, it's there. Teasing her. And unlike her powers being taken away from her, this is her doing.

When her Grams died Caroline told her that it was okay to act out if she wanted to. She said that people make horrible decisions when they're grieving and it's normal. "You don't have to be perfect, Bonnie." Bonnie assumes the same thing applied now. At least it makes her feel better. She's still grieving. Grieving for all the women that shared a bloodline that died because of her. So she'll chalk this horrible decision up to that.

Blood wasn't necessarily the worst taste in the world. It's coppery and warm, and when it came from a vampire kind of thick. She'd tasted it dozens of times. Always from Klaus, except that one time it was from Stefan. There were way too many cons to ingesting blood on a regular basis. There was dying and becoming a vampire, and by extension losing her powers. That wasn't something she looked forward to. At least if it was Klaus' blood she'd be able to keep them but there's a whole can of worms she didn't want to open.

Bonnie could ask Klaus for his blood, but that required either overpowering him (which took up too much time and energy), or asking (which took too much time and energy); so that was out. The energy from vampire's blood was hard to get rid of. You couldn't push it back into something else, and if you did it more than likely was to be rejected. Then there was the whole Bonnie being a witch with mood swings. That in itself was the biggest con.

The pro is obvious. She could use the magic from the blood to overcompensate where she was lacking. That's really all she needs. Klaus always told her that power makes the world go round. He did have a point. She couldn't have done half the things she'd done if she was weak.

Bonnie's sure she could use hybrid blood, there's completely untapped potential in that, but if a spell calls for blood of the undead, it's probably bad to add werewolf in there for good measure. That's out. So she'll stick to run of the mill vampire. It was easy to get a hold of (depending on the area) since vampires were a dime of dozen. It makes sense.

Klaus is always around. There's an odd amount of space he's been giving her, and she's knows it's because she's prone to blowing up, or blowing up his things. But she can feel him. Bonnie can't place a name to the emotion she's feeling towards him. It's not exactly anger, anger is too easy. It's emotionally draining to be angry all the time but there's something that makes it hard to be around him. It's irrelevant though since he's got his hybrids, and his family packed away in coffins. He has better things to do than worrying about Bonnie's feelings towards him.

He's also got new things to focus his attention on. He's taken a liking to a hybrid in particular and Bonnie can tell because she's never actually heard of, or seen, Klaus snapping her neck. Bonnie should question why that's a sign of endearment but she really doesn't care that much; she's used to it.

Erica stands at eye level with Klaus. She always wore her black hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Her cheekbones sharp; lips full. Brown freckles a contrast to the golden hue of her skin. Bonnie wasn't around often, but she never saw her wear more than tank top and jeans even on the coolest day (it's not like it really mattered). Bonnie would always find her and Klaus huddled together in a corner, or sitting in the den laughing and drinking. It was like Klaus had a genuine friend. Strange. Bonnie did have this sort of admiration for her. She always just looked so unaffected by everything. Nonchalant. Cool. And if you dealt with Klaus' shit on a regular basis and never took it to heart, that had to mean something.

He'd also taken a special interest in a human. That wasn't strange at all. Klaus could become obsessed with someone for weeks. It wasn't like dating exactly. She knew he'd sleep with them, if they lasted that long. Even though Bonnie had been there, done that (literally, multiple times), it was hard to wrap her mind around Klaus being sexually enticing. Maybe it was the accent. But there was never any love there (on his part), Klaus was above that, but sometimes there was genuine attraction and admiration (on their parts for whatever reasons) and he would become attached. "The human condition is pathetic, I've been around a millennium and it's never ceases to find more ways to be more pathetic. It's a pleasure to watch to say the least." She'd see them around the house. Walkin to the bathroom in the morning when she was on her way in. Fang-shaped holes adorning their neck. Walking into the kitchen while Klaus made sure they ate like some even more twisted version of Hansel and Gretel, all while they wore grins with eyes droopy from blood loss; she was used to it.

She'd expected the house to always be filled with hybrids, but that novelty wore off. They had families, homes. Lives that didn't revolve around Klaus when Klaus wasn't in there presence. There were the few sired ones, and usually Klaus tired of them easily. "What fun is someone if they don't fight it? What fun is that?" Having another breathing human in the house was the next best thing. He tired of them easily too, but he could spare a human life it got to be too much. He wasn't fond of killing hybrids and he'd only killed one, besides the whole pack he told her died when he spent that summer with Stefan.

Bonnie's first run ins with vampires had taught her that they could be manipulative. Stefan was sneaky about it, and Damon didn't care if you knew. Katherine was a whole different story. But Klaus could be so nonchalant about it, he had this sort of iciness to him that could be charming if that's what you were into, and as much as Bonnie wanted to pretend that he couldn't turn on the charm, he definitely could. He'd have anyone eating out the palm of his hand. No compulsion need. Just twisted words and mind games to make them dependant on him. And after he'd gotten bored, he was so easily bored, or desired the taste for new blood, that would be the end. One day they'd be there, and the next they'd disappear. Bonnie knew it was likely he'd killed a lot of them but it really wasn't her place to warn them.

She didn't know when things like this became so easy to deal with, but she had to remember that she can't save everyone. More importantly, it was none of her business. That's how she kept getting herself into the predicament she's in now. Hybrid business is hybrid business. She'd learned her lesson; she'd needed to stay out of it. She can admit that it is entertaining to watch. So she'd smile at the brown-haired, emerald eyed boy (or blonde hair blue eyed girl, or brown skinned girl with the big curly hair and even bigger eyes) and go on with her day.

She'd used most of Lynne's blood in an earlier spell gone awry, and if she wants to do the spell she's sure that'll fix her problems when she'll be the most powerful —the full moon. Sixteen days of a combined routine of meditation, channeling energy from anyplace she could get it, and drinking as much vampire blood as she could get her hands on.

Even though the spell doesn't require any there were still risks with it in her system. She'll need her own blood to do it; that's nothing she's scared of. Blood magic is something she's done from the beginning, and stupidly is comfortable with, but vampire blood is different. It's tainted. Impure. The fact that it's mixed in with hers could bite her in the ass in the long run, but it's a risk she's willing to face. There's always consequences. It's time she stopped pretending that there won't be; it's time to stop pretending like she cares— if there's one thing she can't be bothered with it is worrying about it. She'll just deal when they come.

Erica is in the living room stretched out on the couch with a flank thrown over her face. She groans when Bonnie opens the drapes. "Are you alright?"

"I thought I wasn't supposed to get hungover..shit...I don't have to turn but I can't drink without feeling like my head is about to explode." Bonnie smiles, "well if you drink a gallon of whiskey, superhuman or not it's gonna get to you." Occasionally it happened to the original hybrid, but it was rare and painful for all parties involved. Erica grunts again and rolls over on her side, face towards the back of the sofa. Bonnie likes Erica well enough. She's always polite to her and she never tries to make small talk. They can sit in comfortable silence. The hybrid is always smiling at her, which is nice since she usually seems so cold. And on the occasion that she and Erica have to do some silly task (and they're always silly) for Klaus, she's good company.

"I can fix that for you...I mean if you want?" Still facing away from Bonnie she grumbles, "There's not enough pain medicine in the world that can fix this."

"Pain medicine, no, but magic yes." The witch moves to sit on the edge of the couch and Erica slides her body up into a seated position. "What would you have to do?" Bonnie'd realized that most hybrids has no contact with the supernatural except for werewolves. It wasn't unusual them to be intimidated or skeptical of her powers. "It won't hurt, I promise." Bonnie pushes back a loose strand of Erica's hair, places her hands on her temples and smirks. "Relax." Seconds later she's chanting under her breath and the hybrid feels the tension flow out of her body.

"See?"

Erica touches her temples as if she expect something besides skin to be there. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Erica sits back against the couch and puts her hands in her lap. "What are you doing tonight?"

"I need to get some materials for a spell. Why?" If Klaus was planning on sending them out tonight for anything, he was in for a rude awakening. She had things to do.

"I was probably going to see what Klaus is up to...but if you wanted some help, I'd be more than happy to come wit.."

Bonnie thinks that'd be okay. She can't really get in the way, and if anything were to happen, and it could since trouble follows her everywhere, she'd be able to take care of herself. "Yeah, it'd be fun to have some girl time."

Erica shrugs her shoulders. " Great. Great. We can go for drinks afterwards?"

"Sure." She'll probably need one.

The drinking was supposed to wait but once they'd gone out, but the drop of Lynne's blood on the map lead them here. Blood always calls to blood.

The car ride was pleasant enough. There were the mandatory compliments. There was a lot of leg, short dresses and high heels. Erica's usually pulled back hair was loose. Shoulders out. Bonnie in long sleeves and sculpted shoulder. Back out. They looked good.

After the compliments they got around to talking about their families. A little bit deeper than they usually get. Erica talks about her mother. Bonnie's grandmother. "Klaus tells me you guys were close." Bonnie raises a brow. It was always weird to know that he spoke of her when she wasn't around. "Yeah. She was basically my mom." It's a sensitive topic that quickly gets switched back to Erica's background. Erica's an only child just like Bonnie. She's only left the state once. Her parents were never together. She'd accidentally drowned her cousin's ex boyfriend in an aggressive game of chicken and activated her gene.

"It wasn't on purpose, not really...but I didn't really feel bad about it. He always treated her bad."

"Oh." Bonnie veers into the right lane. Checks her mirror.

"You can take a breath. I don't plan on killing you."

"You couldn't kill me." It's said without thought, and while it's partially true, it's an awkward statement to make. "I just mean...it would be pretty hard to kill me, unless you caught me off guard, not that wasn't super cocky or..."

"Will you believe me if I tell you I'm just tired and kind of anxious about this spell and I'm not actually use to making a lot of small talk with anybody besides Klaus and we're kind of assholes to each other. "

She takes a deep breathe and glances over. Erica just laughs deeply from her chest. Smiles with her eyes. "It's fine. I'm sure I couldn't kill you." Bonnie turns on her blinker.

To be such a small place there was way more people than Bonnie expected. That's why it was great to have Erica there. It was a lot easier for her to scent out a vampire than it was for her to touch every single person in the club. Bonnie's got a hold of Erica's hand while she guides them through the tiny area.

It doesn't take long before Bonnie's flirting her way outside with a vampire whose face she'd never remember, even if he wasn't going to die tonight. She doesn't forget to get his name because names are important. And the night ends with a jar full of ashes, and another jar filled with blood sitting in the back seat of the car.

"You get what you needed?"

"I did. Thanks."

A guy interrupts her next sentence grabbing her by the waist pulling her towards him. Usually she'd walk away, but she's in such a good mood she starts to dance with him, hips gyrating to the beat. He's just a prop and it's not soon before she forgets he's there. She grabs Erica's wrist and pulls her in. The dancing's a little explicit, at least for Bonnie's standards and the hybrid is barely moving. Mainly, she's just kind of watching the two go at it. Bonnie looks up to find her eyes watching her. She screams even though she knows she doesn't have to, "you don't have to dance if you don't want to."

She leans down to the witch's ear. "I can't really dance." Bonnie giggles. Her adrenaline's pumping, the music's blasting, and "everybody can dance." Bonnie places her hands on her hips and wiggles. "Move to the beat."

A few awkward moves later she finally gets a hang of it and Bonnie guides her. Three songs later the guy moves on, and eventually Bonnie tires and motions back to the bar. The heels she's wearing are starting to make her feet ache and she's actually ready to go. Bonnie can feel herself starting to sweat and she's kind of hazy from the small amount of energy she'd used for the kill. She takes a sip of the drink she'd just bought and wiggles her toes in her shoes. Erica's leaning back against the bar. Hair lightly tousled. Lipgloss slightly smeared as she sips on her drink. Huge grin on her lips. "You're really pretty."

Blushing, Bonnie returns the compliment. "And I think it's so cool that you're a witch." There's an awkwardness in the statement that causes Bonnie to shrug. "I had nothing to do with that." Erica begins to speak again but Bonnie leans in closer to hear her. "WHAT?"

"I think it's...admirable that you'd do so much for your friends. I wouldn't have made it through half of what you've been through." Her first thought is how awkward it is to listen to someone tell you things that they probably shouldn't know about. She'd need to talk to Klaus about that, but then it clicks and when it does it really clicks. This is how Jeremy acted when they'd first started dating.

Erica has a crush on her and Bonnie has this thing for her. She'd never thought of it as a crush, but that's totally what it is. So it's only natural that Bonnie progressess to the next step. If she's wrong, it'll make for an awkward car ride home, if she's not, well she's not. Bonnie rests her hand on her shoulder. Leans in slightly. Watches her watching her lips. "You like me, right?"

Breathily she answers back. That's all it takes for Bonnie to close the gap. It starts with a light press of the lips. Gloss sticky-slick against her mouth. Hands come up to her face. Her hands move to rest against bare knees. Bonnie scoots in as close as possible. Push the strands stuck to Erica's face back. There's a small amount of tongue caressing hers. Not too much. It's perfect.

There's slight panting on Bonnie's part when they separate following a smack. "I'm ready to go." Erica nods.

"Sounds good to me."

Bonnie's been a light sleeper since she'd realized she was a witch. She was too paranoid to deeply sleep like she used to. She wakes to Klaus' presence at the door. "You both have such good taste. I have great taste but not once did I think the two of you would get on so well, so soon. You usually take so long to loosen up. But I would have loved to watch it happen." Bonnie rolls her eyes and gently closes the door without leaving her side of the bed. She hears Erica grumble, "Please do that magicky hangover thing again."

Bonnie smiles. "Of course."

Klaus prefers to be in isolated areas, close enough to a town for meals (and company), but far enough out that nobod comes snooping around (as if they would be alive long after that). Bonnie likes it because there's plenty of space to practice her craft. She doesn't feel confined and limited. So it's only natural that she makes the clearing in the woods behind her house her spell practicing home.

It's oddly warm for a Alabaman spring, or so she's told. She's in a great mood. There's something about being a hop, skip and a jump away from Virginia that's a comfort. Her boots dig softly into the ground. Her shoulders relax as she breathes in. This spell has taken more preparation than anything else she's done. She'd been leaving a offering of fruits and flowers on a stone altar she'd made in the clearing every week. Bonnie had never shown appreciation for her gifts. Never like this. It was a good way to start a difficult spell; a great way to show that she was learning. She munched on a couple of bay leaves to keep unwanted spirits away (she doesn't know if she can deal with being possessed, again) while burning incense. Sat down and took time to learn the land at the site until red clay lived underneath her fingernails for days at a time.

She was ready.

The full moon was only a couple of days away. She still needed herbs which were easy enough to find, but she'd need a heart. Familiarizing herself with spells similar to one she planned on performing she'd realized that it was safer to have a spare. She needed to stop her own heart, but she didn't know anyone enough to ask them to be her anchor, and she'd hadn't went far enough off the edge to force someone to do it. The vampire heart would be a vessel. She would just tie her life force to it in case she died for a few seconds. And the heart not equipped for beating would reject her essence right back into her body. It should be easy enough. She'd brought Jeremy back to life, she should be able to do it for herself. She couldn't work up the sense to be afraid.

The fact that she'd gotten the spell out of the grimiore Klaus gave her should've stopped her.

The fact that it was dangerous also should stopped her.

But it didn't.

Klaus is in the kitchen talking to his human of the week. Erica's just left for the next couple of days. The thing she's got going with Erica isn't complicated; it actually isn't anything. It's just to be completely open with somebody about who you are, what you are hasn't happened in a while. Then there's the whole mutual crushing which is kind of a pleasant feeling.

She's lonely and she recognizes that it's totally normal and it happens to everybody. It's a deep kind of loneliness that creeps up on her when she realizes how alone she is. How alone she's always been. There's no other person who has lived her life, and no living one that she trusts that could help her through it. It's scary to be that alone. That's why this spell is so important to her. That's why going to the other side is so important.

That's why seeing her Grams is so important.

It's too close to the full moon to have more than a one hybrid in the house at a time. Despite not being controlled by the moon, apparently there's a natural instinct to be an asshole whenever they get close to their time of the month. If it wasn't her being asked to cook steaks or packs and packs of bacon (for "family/pack" dinners), she would be able to tell it was nearing by how aware, more aware, hyper-aware of her the hybrids are of her. Just like them she stronger during the full moon. Her scent's stronger. On top of that, she's harboring way too much power in her body at the moment to be walking on eggshells. Bonnie mentioned how uncomfortable it made her in passing, and that was the last time they'd had a full house during a full moon.

So it's just the human, Zachary, and Zach is cute enough, which is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. He's got nice teeth, Klaus has a thing for teeth, and he's way too interested in hearing what Klaus has to say, and that's really all Klaus needs to mess with a persons head. Honestly he needs even less.

Zach is shirtless. Sitting on a bar stool, running long fingers across the cool tile. Klaus' sitting on a stool across from him, bare back to her when she walks into the room.

It's either too warm in the house, or maybe it's the blood running through her veins heightening her senses that have her smelling copper. She takes a look at the open wound on the young man's neck. Klaus turns his head and she quirks a brow. When he raises one in return she just shrugs. None of her business.

Smiling, she directs her attention to Zachary, "I cooked, so there's food in the oven if you're hungry. You should probably eat." She grabs a clean jar out of the cabinet, and by the time she gets the the door, Klaus is standing in front of her. "Have a seat Bonnie. Hang."

Rolling her eyes she puts her hand to his chest, the jolt of energy exchanged between them does nothing but make them laugh. "I have to go."

"Where?"

"Out."

"Out, where?" Bonnie remembers that she should hate him more than anyone in the world. But right now he's nothing more than an annoyance. "Out, you have company...we can talk later."

"I never like when you're this secretive."

"You only don't like it because you're not in on the secret." She laughs and he lets her slide through the door.

It's almost dawn when she gets it,and she's lucky because she's got a vampire that needs to get out of direct sunlight before she can get the blood from him. She didn't need to do a lot of arm twisting to get him here. Especially after she figuratively, literally lit a fire under his ass. But a little restraint spell, and a twenty minute car ride and she had a vampire.

Usually she's a lot more polite when it comes to kills. She's not into torture (unless it Klaus), but this was the hardest kill ever. All she needed is blood. She didn't need Ron to try to bite her. He'd charged at her in a way that let her know he was young. He couldn't feel her power before hand, but he felt it when she threw him across the shopping center parking lot. She'd almost missed out completely tonight. It was a lot harder to find vampires in a public without someone who could scent them out. She was already annoyed that a town that was usually booming wiith vampires, it took her hours to find one, and then she wouldn't be able to find them in the crowd unless she went around touching everyone. She'd ran into Ron when she'd decided to check the locator map before she grabbed a roast for Klaus and some rosemary. She was on aisle seven looking at canned vegetables when she'd felt him watching her. On her way out she'd felt someone following her, and when he pounced she reacted. And kept reacting when he'd repeatedly tried to bite her. He should suffer.

He'd drawn a small drop of blood when he'd went for her arm. "Who turned you and didn't even teach you how to hunt properly. God!?" It was probably Natalie, or Andrew. It was then when she realized that she was killing off a bloodline by using a drop of the previous vampire's blood to find another one. For a moment, she felt guilty because she knows how horrible it feels. She snaps out it. "Who told these assholes to procreate?"

"This can go two ways. You can sit down open up a vein, give me what I want and be on your way, OR, you I can take what I want and you won't like it."

When he's filled up a jar and a half with blood, "that wasn't hard was it?"

He doesn't get a chance to answer when Bonnie has a fist full of his heart in her palm.

She's just gotten out of the shower and is climbing into bed Klaus' seated in the chair in her corner. "Do you mind telling me why there's a dead vampire in the living room."

She shrugs. "I don't really know."

"You could've left him outside, eventually you wouldn't have had to worry about it."

"I know, but..."

He crosses his right leg over his left as he leans back in the chair and grins. He's still shirtless. Still wearing the same pajama pants as earlier. "Is that guilt, I smell?"

"No! Why would I feel guilty?"

"Because you lied, and that's what comes next, the guilt. When are you going to let it go. Guilt'll kill you. Or so I'm told."

She pulls herself into a seated position. "What did I lie about?"

"Give me what I want, you'll be on your way.' I did enjoy how demanding you sounded. I could tell that you meant business." Bonnie grimaces. She hates when she gets that angry and she hates when he mocks her even more. "I was out all night...I was running out of time Klaus, the full moon is tomorrow...and I still didn't have a heart, I don't know why it put it off last minute. I don't need this kind of stress."

"You still haven't told me what kind of spell would require..."

"Why does it matter?."

"Your heart rate is speeding up, you're getting upset. Wouldn't it have been easier to just ask for my help?"

"Go awayyyyyyyyy and let me sleep."

"Why didn't you ask me?" She takes a deep breath. "Because I don't like relying on you more than I need to." She says it with a little more force than she wanted to.

"But you can rely Erica? I thought we were friends Bonnie." She scoffs, "Friends? Are you jealous?"

"Bonnie. I don't do jealousy. I'm just wondering why you've been avoiding me."

Bonnie plops back onto the bed. "How long is Zach going to be around?"

"I don't know. I can't necessarily say. I haven't tired of him yet. Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Klaus I don't..." She pops back up. " I don't really like you."

She blinks and he's sitting beside her. "I know that, Love. But it's been awhile since that's affected our dynamic." A full deep laugh comes from her chest. "True."

She looks at his face. Eyes how relaxed his mouth is. She scans the slope of his shoulders. Reads his body language. Smells the blood on his breath. He's happy and it makes her angry. "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't get how you can be so relaxed and you've hurt so many people...and I haven't near as many and I can't stop thinking about how what I does affects everybody. I feel guilty if I don't tip a waiter but you kill people for sport and it doesn't affect you at all, and it upsets me not even because it's wrong, you've done a lot of things wrong since I've been with you, and I've done some too and that's another problem in itself, because I don't feel bad about those things as much as I should, but I'm angry because I'm jealous of you. I want to not care. I don't want to deal with anything anymore. It's my fault people have died, and I feel guilty about it. And I feel guilty that you're a big part of it but I still don't really hate you because I'm too busy being fucking jealous that you're happy!" Her faces has started to warm up by the time she's finished. The vase that rests on her nice stand is shattered

Bonnie fights back tears because it's embarrassing. Laying back down she turns her head to face the wall. She feels a tentative pat on the back. It's wise, that he's that cautious. He knows of volatile she is when she's upset. She lets it stay there. Lets the warmth, not from his skin but that warmth that radiates from him, the energy he channels from the moon warm her skin. He doesn't rub her shoulder or really try to comfort her. He just lets it stay there until she leans into it. "You've become quite the drama queen." Which makes her smile a little despite herself. "I learned from the best."

"I do have a love for theatrics." She's embarrassed when she grabs his arm and pulls him down, motioning him to lie behind her. He wraps it around her torso and sighs. "I don't want to be you."

"Of course you can't, there's only one me."

"I don't want to be heartless."

"Then don't be."

"I don't want to feel guilty either."

"Then don't." Ugh.

"I miss my Grams. My dad too but I really, really miss her. She'd help me get my life together." She wouldn't have let it get this bad in the first place.

"Is that why you're doing the spell?" She can feel the scoff before she hears it. "I've been around enough witches to know what's happening. I'm not dumb by any means." He probably feel her scoff before he hears it. "You're not going to try and stop me are you?"

"Why would I? You're going to do what you want to do, forget the consequences. I have no doubt in your skills." She didn't doubt her skills either, it was the power she was having issues with. "If I die, like the spell is too much for me and my heart gives out or something, you'll take me back to Mystic Falls right? Even if I die and I turn, don't let me complete the transition. Just rip out my heart. I won't be mad at you about it."

"Thanks for the reassurance, " he says sarcastically. "You're not going to die, but if that's what you want I have no problem conceding with your wishes."

"Great... if I do I'll find a way to come back because nobody gets to kill you but me. We've been through too much," she says as she nuzzles in closer to him.

"And you still want to kill me?" There's a smile in his voice. He's amused.

"We've discussed that we're only working together until I'm sure I'm safe. If I'm dead, I'm safe. I don't really think I want to kill you anymore. It's just I kind of have to. Promised myself."

"I know with a shadow of a doubt that you will never be able to kill me."

"Cocky words from someone who I've almost killed twice."

"Almost doesn't count."

There's a weight lifted from her shoulders when she wakes. It's almost as if something as simple as a conversation helped. She's still antsy about tonight, still worried that she could fail but that feeling she couldn't explain is gone.

Klaus takes her out to for a "final" meal, "in case you die." He finds a place that reminds her of The Grill with greasy food and waitresses with thick southern accents that remind her of home.. She orders a burger and fries. Klaus orders a steak: rare. He flirts with the waitress. Gets her tossing her blonde hair,and asking if they need anything to drink every minute or so. "Humans are so easy."

When they leave the restaurant the sun has started to set. She can feel more power surging through her body as her hands start to shake. Klaus who's better at pretending he's unaffected can't even do that. He grabs her hand and squeezes. "I'll drive."

The heart's sitting in a bowl before she realizes how serious this is. She'd almost died for Elena plenty of times, but for her to this time it's about her. It comforts her more than it should.

She's double checking to make sure that everything needed for the spell is there when she feels the tingling in her ears. While she can't really tell the difference between the younger hybrids, she can always recognize Klaus from anyone else.

Turning her head she finds him walking to the clearing with Zach. He's got his arm wrapped around his shoulder. Klaus kicks the bowl outside of the circle. "Have a seat." Gelled hair barely moves when the wind picks up as he sits down.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?"

"It's better to have a beating heart, is it not?"

"Yes, but where am I going to..."

"Zachary here has a beating heart. To increase your chances of survival it's better to have a human anchor. And while I would not have a problem being your anchor, thankfully I am not human."

"Did you compel him to do this?"

"Well, duh. Don't want him getting scared and ruining the spell, do we?" Klaus is trying to be helpful and for once she doesn't fight it.

"Thank you."

Bonnie starts the spell when the moon is at it's zenith. Her legs are folded as she chants. Blood's leaking from her nose. Pressure is building behind her gums and it's not long until they're bleeding too. It's coating her teeth, the tang filling her mouth as she chants. She's feverish. Sweaty palms grasp on to Zachary's warm hands.

She's still in the woods but there's no one else there besides her. Yet she can hear, low, whispering voices speaking to her even though she can't interpret what they're saying. She could still taste the blood in her mouth, but she couldn't feel the ground beneath her.

Death. Bonnie's surrounded by it.

It's familiar; it's calming. It's the one thing she can understand.

Then there's a soft voice. High in pitch. Feminine. "You shouldn't be here."

When Bonnie finds her voice it sounds unlike her own. It's lighter. Bubbly almost. "I just want to see my Grams .Sheila. That's all I want.."

The voice answers, "you've seen her more time than most people who have lost a loved one have. You need to leave. The longer you stay here the harder it'll be to do so."

"Please...I'll do anything. I don't know what I'm doing anymore...please...I need her."

"You need to leave."

"If I can't see her then at least tell me what I'm suppose to be doing...why am I here? Why would you send me to him when..."

"What don't you understand? You're safe with him."

"But if I'm safe with him, why didn't you send every other Bennett to him. Why do I deserve to be safe?"

Suddenly, there's a woman standing in front of her. Petite. Skin kissed by the sun. Eyes so big and bright they would make a doll jealous. When she speaks her voice is airy. Ethereal even. "Why do you think you're the only one that safe? That's a very arrogant notion...that you're the only one chosen to be saved. You're the only one with Klaus."

"Who else is strong enough to keep you safe, and who's stupid enough to let someone who's almost killed them sleep underneath their roof. Klaus is. Your history with him is the key to everything."

"The key?"

"You're a small piece to a big puzzle Bonnie. There are things you've done that catapulted other plans into action. There are deaths that need to happen to fit these pieces together." The woman takes a step closer to Bonnie and smiles a sad little smile. Rests a weightless hand against her shoulder. "No one is angry with you. I'm not angry with you. Stop feeling guilty. It's not your responsibility to save everyone. People die. They have to keep the balance." Bonnie takes in this information when it finally registers. The woman puts her hand up. "Don't apologize and don't feel guilty. But remember this: you come from a long line of witches who have suffered and died at the hands of vampires. None of us see that in the cards for you. Don't disappoint us."

"But why aren't you angry? I helped create hybrids. That was my fault. I got you killed."

She smirks. "A witch is never really dead, are we? And what's so bad about the creation of hybrids?" Bonnie shrugs her shoulders in confusion. "You're a witch. No one will ever understand that. Humans have forgotten the role we play...how just our existence keeps them safe. We're relegated to Halloween costumes and science fiction novels. Most vampires don't respect us when we're the ones who created them. Werewolves have turned a blessing into a curse. Everyone understands that you're young and you've been on your own for quite some time. No one is angry with you...except maybe your grandmother, and that may have more to do with how you got here in the first place."

"I'm going to give you a tip, learn our history then maybe you'll understand why nothing is as bad as it seems. You have to go now. "

She doesn't get to respond because there's a strong push against her.

Klaus' presence is a comfort when she comes to. She doesn't realize where she is until she feel the marble of the bathroom counter.

The swelling in her gums is starting to go down, courtesy of the blood she'd guzzled

pre spell. Her nose is still leaking a little: blood and mucus and she wipes at it idly.

Bonnie grabs at his shirt. Tries to get her uneven breathing under control. He rubs his palms up and down her shoulders. "You're okay. You are alive, and you are okay."

He's wiping her face with a wet cloth when she's calm enough to start processing. She tries to hop off the counter and he puts her right back up. She tries to run for it again. "We gotta get Zach, why'd you leave him out there? You could've left me." Bonnie's still speaking in that awkward tone. Klaus gently shakes his head. Her face drops and she clears her throat. "He didn't make it."

"No he didn't."

"What happened?"

"Your power was too much for him..burst his heart right open." She grimaces. It sounds horrible, it must have been painful to watch. She's takes a deep breath. "Are you...alright?"

He looks a little confused when he answers, "why would I be?"

"Your...boy...guy, friend just died."

"I would've tired of him eventually. How are you feeling? You're alive, like I told you you would be, so I should say how guilty are you feeling? How long do you plan on lashing out this time?" It's insensitive, and a comfort. That's Klaus for you. He's insensitive and that means everything is right with the world. Bonnie's not really sad. The whole experience was informative. She tired, more like exhausted however, she's not really guilty. She couldn't really help what happened. Maybe that guilt will come later. She surprises herself when she mutters the next phrase.

"Better him than me."

A/N: It's been a looooooong time but I haven't forgotten about this story. Life's been happening, I got a job, I hate my job, so I'm looking for another one while being slightly stressed. It's great! But I keep wanting to start this story over from scratch but the changes would be minuscule and I would probably be the only one that noticed.

Just to clear up something that I will explain later on but will irritate me forever since I didn't notice it before, witches can be compelled. My headcanon is that the Bennett line can't since Ayanna was a big part in the creation of vampires. I've always planned on Bonnie dating a female hybrid, just because, but it is Femslash February so this is perfect timing. I also hate creating background for original characters and sometimes I think it shows.

I've also heard that the last couple episodes have been great for Bonnie, but I told myself I wasn't going to watch them until I finished this. I also told myself I finish by the end of January, but that was a lie. I know a lot of you have probably given up on the show, with good reason, but I don't have a life so I'm still watching. I have been writing since the last update and a lot of that can be used in the next flashback. There's been dozens (literally) of edits and I hadn't really sat down and cleared out how I'm going to get where I want to go. I did a lot of that now. A big thanks goes to Sky Samuelle who gave me some great ideas and did some brainstorming with me.

I don't know when the next part will be posted since I haven't even got started on it, but I promise it won't be a half a year later.