Toward Always

Kate and her dad had a late afternoon Christmas dinner with the Castles and spent the evening at the loft. After only a few awkward moments when they initially arrived, they had fallen into the general good will that was a part of the Castle family. By that night, the conversations, laughter, teasing, gift-opening, etc. had come to feel natural. The group was a good fit.

Alexis went to her room earlier to make a couple of phone calls, asking Kate if they could talk later…boy questions again, and college questions, and general girl talk. After waiting a while to allow her time for phone calls, Kate walked up to Alexis' room and spent about half an hour with her while Castle and her dad talked downstairs. Around the same time Kate went upstairs, Martha excused herself and left to visit an old friend who lived close by, to have a drink and exchange gifts.

As she put the towel down to go to talk to Alexis, Beckett insisted that she would take care of the rest of the kitchen clean-up before she and her dad left. Castle argued, but she shooed him out of the kitchen, saying it was the least she could do, and he'd better leave it for her. She was almost finished when she heard her father call her.

"Are you almost ready, Katie? Jake said he'd be over about ten."

"Yeah, Dad. Won't be but a minute."

Turning his attention back to his conversation companion, he explained to Castle, "A college friend. He didn't get home until yesterday. I don't see him often, and his plane leaves tomorrow afternoon. This was about the only time we could manage."

Castle watched Kate as she put the last glass in the drainer and asked her father quietly,

"Would you mind if I keep your daughter just a little bit longer? I'll take her home later. Alexis has been having a hard time for the last month or so. I'm hoping Kate can give me an idea of something I can do to help. She won't tell me what they said – Code of Girldom, or something like that – but maybe she can give me some hints. This way you don't miss seeing your friend, and you'll know she'll get home safely."

"She and her mom were the same way. Now and then I was jealous, but they always made it up to me by doing something to make me feel special." He smiled at the memory. "It must have been hard getting your little girl this far without a mother around."

Kate had picked up on the conversation and walked over to join them.

"Do you mind, Kate?" Rick asked, looking up at her. "You don't have to stay if you have something else to do. We can talk later."

"You okay with that, Dad? You were just going to drop me off anyway."

"No problem, Honey," Jim said as he stood. "I won't have to rush to get home in time, and I trust Rick to take care of my girl." He leaned and kissed her cheek before he picked up his coat to go.

Castle walked him to the door and shook his hand before he left. "'Night, Jim. Merry Christmas." Closing the door and turning back to Kate, he said, "Thanks for the kitchen duty. You didn't have to, you know."

"I know. Consider it pay back for a family Christmas. Dad and I haven't had one of those in a long time. It was nice."

"I like seeing you with your dad. Another side of you."

"He likes you. He's been not too quietly cheering you on for a while now."

"I knew there was a reason I liked him." He was rewarded with a back-handed swat on his upper arm, and he laughed, feigning pain.

"I appreciate your taking time to talk to Alexis. Sometimes she needs a woman's perspective. I've done my best over the years, but I'm not really qualified in that department."

"What about your mother?"

"She's been a big help, but she hasn't always been here. She gives some good advice when you really listen, though; there's a much wiser woman there than what shows on the surface. But I know Alexis enjoys being able to ask advice from someone closer to her generation, especially when it's you."

"She's a great kid, Castle. I think I love your daughter," Kate said with a shy smile.

"I think she loves you, too."

"Really?" She looked truly pleased.

"It means that much to you?"

"I hadn't thought much about it, but I guess it does."

"Anything you can tell me without infringing on her privacy…without breaking the girly code?" he asked, making a face and wiggling his fingers as he said the last two words.

"Maybe a little," she answered, smiling at his antics.

He held a hand out, inviting her to sit on the couch with him, and she reached and took it as they walked the short distance to sit down. They were more comfortable with being close, with kisses and touches, than they had been a few months ago. Kate's barriers were weakening; and, for once in his life, Rick wasn't focused on how to get the woman he cared about in his bed…although he had to admit to a number of dreams and fantasies about that. He wanted her feeling comfortable in his life first, and they had been inching up on that, especially in the past month. They sat facing one another, mirroring their positions with one arm on the back of the couch, one foot on the floor and the other at the edge of the seat where a knee rested on the cushions. Their knees were touching lightly, and their hands brushed against one another, fingers twining together now and then as they talked for a while about Alexis. The conversation then drifted into other things; and before they knew it, an hour had gone by.

"I guess I should go," Kate sighed, standing when she realized the time. "I have to be at work tomorrow. You don't have to take me home, though. I can take a cab."

"Oh, no, no, no. I'm a father, and I promised another father I'd get his little girl home safely." He flashed a smile at her. "That's part of the Dad Code."

"There's one of those, too, is there?"

"Oh, yeah," he said with a grin.

"Okay. Then take me home. Wouldn't want to have to tell my dad you broke the code."

"Let me just go up and tell Alexis."

"She's probably asleep by now. When I left, she was in bed with a book. She said she was going to read the last chapter and get some sleep."

"I'll leave a note in the kitchen, then. She knows where to look for one if I'm not here."

"You're a good dad, Rick. I think that impresses me more than anything else about you."

"Oh, other things about me impress you, too?" he asked as he stood to join her, his pleased little boy face showing.

"Lots of things…but don't expect me to repeat that. Your ego is big enough already," she teased. "It's just…when I see how much you care about her, how devoted you are to one another, how much she trusts you…. I don't know. It's a nice thing to see. It's something special."

He didn't trust himself with words right then, so he rested his hands on her upper arms, leaned down, and kissed her gently; and she returned the kiss. Then she put her arms around his neck and kissed him again, less gently. He could tell that something was different. When she looked up at him, it felt open and free. There was nothing held back. She seemed completely comfortable with everything.

"Do you want me to take you home now?" he asked, resting his forehead on hers and leaving a little space between them. He knew better than to push too hard.

Her top teeth bit her bottom lip slightly and looked up at him as she shook her head slowly, then she softly answered, "No."

He pulled her close and kissed her again, this time more deeply, then dropped a light kiss on her temple before burrowing his face in her hair near her ear. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked softly. "I don't want to be without you yet." Noting a hint of hesitance coming back, he straightened to look at her, quickly assuring her, "Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to. No matter what my rebellious body might try to tell you…nothing has to happen. Just stay and be close to me tonight. I'm capable of being a perfect gentleman…well, almost perfect."

"I know. I trust you," she answered, leaning against him again.

"That's the best Christmas gift you could give me," he said quietly and sincerely, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Are you sure?" he asked, giving her an opening to change her mind.

"I'm sure." She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he pulled her close to his side and guided her through his study and into his room.

He gave her one of his T-shirts to sleep in and changed into pajama bottoms and a T-shirt while she changed in his bathroom. When he closed the bedroom door and was trying to imagine how Christmas could possibly get any better, she emerged from the bathroom, barefoot and looking adorable in the oversized shirt; and he decided it just did.

"I like it," he smiled, pulling back the covers and getting in bed.

When he held the covers up in invitation, Kate joined him and turned to face him on her pillow. Almost simultaneously, each reached for the other, intending only a goodnight kiss. That was how it started…gentle, and easy, and innocent. They took their time, gradually allowing the kisses to become deeper, easing slowly into exploring, experimenting; and, by the early hours of the morning, it had become a night that left them sated, content, and exhausted, arms and legs tangled in a full body embrace. The last words either of them remembered hearing before they fell asleep were whispered superlatives.