THEY DON'T KNOW

RATED T

PLEASE REVIEW

They think that I am no longer haunted by the nightmares and terrors of the past; they think I have moved on. Oh how wrong they are, they have no idea how many times I've come so close to ending it all. And I never want them to. I'm the backbone of the team, I am the captain, I must protect them.

Every night I dread going to sleep, because that is when it is at its very worse. First comes my parents, funny I can hardly remember even their names when I'm awake but in the dreams it is all clear. But it's there, bottle, blood, rape, abuse, self-harm, stealing, cold. Then when me and Bryan are sent to the abbey. After it all melts into a blur of rape, torture, experiments and, well you know the rest.

Sometimes I'll sit in the bathroom for hours cutting and just losing myself in the blood. It's the only sense of peace I get now a days. Everyday is a constant reminder of my past, scars cover my body and there's hardly and inch of unharmed skin. Out of all the team I was the only one to get punished.

I carve stuff on my skin. The first carving done so long ago has disappeared completely under the whip marks. I carved "My name is Tala" when I ran off to live on the streets as a child. My name used to be Yuri but I attempted to bury my past. Obviously it didn't work.

C.U.T crap useless Tala is what it stands for. I carve that the most because it's true.

A/N: SO WHAT DID YOU THINK? IF YOU THINK I SHOULD DO A SECOND CHAPTER PUT IT IN THE REVIEW SECTION.