A/N I have no idea what this is or where I'm going with it. It very well might be a one shot or it may turn into a full-fledged story. Either way, it is, by all means, a smart-alec, parody/humorous look at bonding fics, cliches, and a young man named Harry Potter who just doesn't know how to turn his "saving people" thing off. Oh, the problem he ends up with.

If this does end up as a multichapter story... please realize it is being done as a fic to blow off steam and thus, won't be beta'd (though I'll do my best when it comes to spelling, grammar, etc.), nor will updates be on any type of schedule. I have two other storylines that I am dedicated to at the time. This one, is simply for me to play with.

Go ahead and review if you dare associate your name to something like this! Oh, and besides it being Harry/Fleur/multi, I ain't (-don't you love that word) telling anyone a dang thing on 'ships! Read it to find out! ;)

CHAPTER 1

(Maybe the only chapter!)

RIGHT WEDDING/WRONG GROOM

It was an absolutely beautiful wedding, at least, it was going to be. Fleur was dressed in a flowing white gown with a train carried by the Matron of honor, Gabrielle - a traditional role usually filled in Veela weddings by an older married sister or friend - and the maid of honor, Ginny. It was good for everyone that the twins had hid Ginny's wand the night before. When Fleur's cousin wasn't able to come at the last minute, Fleur swallowed her considerable pride and offered an olive branch to the youngest Weasley.

Ginny had promptly informed her where she could put said olive branch, until her father and Bill took her aside.

"For me, Ginny, please? You're my favorite sister and I want you in my wedding."

Ginny remembered rolling her eyes. "I'm your only sister and do you really want your only sister cursing the prissy out of Fleur tomorrow?"

Now, standing at the back of the crowd and holding the train of Fleur's dress in her hands, Ginny wished she had her wand. A cutting curse in just the right spot would remove the entire lower half of the dress and Ginny had the unfortunate knowledge that the only thing Fleur was wearing on the lower half of her body above the knees, was the dress.

"Damn breeze," she muttered to herself. Fleur had given her a look of death a few minutes ago when that gust of wind - enhanced Ginny's visual knowledge of Fleur.

Ginny giggled.

At least she got a beautiful new dress and looked exquisite for Harry, though that wasn't as big of a deal as it would have been a few weeks ago. Anyway, just how good could she look alongside the two French bimbos— er, blondes?

Looking back over her shoulder for no reason in particular, Ginny saw the twins. She nodded at them and they both turned to her as she gave a fake sneeze, lifting her hands and by extension, the dress.

Fleur didn't even bother turning around, which was a good thing as the twins were standing in awe of the French derriere, before that is, they caught sight of Bill standing at the front, He couldn't see Fleur, but the twins were the twins and Ginny was back there too. Bill knew whatever it was, it wasn't good, especially when Ginny peered around the little barrier that had been erected and winked at her oldest brother. The twins hurriedly scampered off to resume their roles in the wedding as ushers.

X O X O X O X

Harry sat in his chair and watched the procession. Fleur looked stunning as she walked up the aisle. Ginny didn't look too bad herself. She smiled as she walked by and flashed him a grin as well as a bit of Fleur.

Very nice, Harry thought to himself. But he knew to keep it silent, now and forever, or he'd be hexed six ways to Sunday and seven more times on Sunday. Ginny's jealousy was bad, even though she was the one that caused the little view of heaven.

It was because of that tendency that Harry had decided he and Ginny wouldn't work out. They were still friends, more than friends to be honest, but they had both finally agreed that the relationship wasn't going to go anywhere permanently.

Harry shook his head and chuckled at Ginny's cheek - and Fleur's.

Once they passed, Harry noticed someone sitting in the front row on the bride's side and nudged Ron, sitting next to him.

"What's she doing here?" Harry asked.

"Who?" Ron answered with his own question.

"Her!" Harry whispered a little too loudly, just as the wedding march music stopped. Everyone turned to look at him, including the young women he was staring at.

Daphne Greengrass gave both Harry and Ron a look of death.

"Why is she here?" Ron suddenly asked Harry.

Harry shook his head. "That's what I've been asking you. A little slow on the wand today?"

"Did you see what I saw when Fleur walked by? Of course I am."

Harry laughed out loud.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today . . ." the official began his monotone delivery as Harry kept staring at Daphne Greengrass, trying to figure out what she was doing at the wedding. He noticed Hermione sitting next to her, but that was no mystery. She was protecting Fleur and Ginny, from each other. Hermione had both of their wands and promised to give them back after the ceremony.

Unfortunately, everyone forgot that without a wand, a Veela broadcasts magic instead of directing it, especially when surprised.

"Everyone seems a bit edgy today," Harry observed to Ron.

"I heard Mum and Dad talking earlier. The Ministry has been under constant attack in the Wizengamot. They've even had to fend off two or three physical attacks. There's a major meeting tonight and dad thinks the government is going to be voted out and someone under the Imperius curse by You-know-Who will be voted in."

The timing of the comment really couldn't have been worse as Harry, a man of very quick action and very little forethought, saw a flash above Fleur's head and was out of his seat, careering through the chairs like a Malfoy caught kissing a Muggleborn.

Hermione, seeing Harry out of the corner of her eye, immediately jumped up to give Ginny and Fleur their wands back, thinking danger was near.

Ginny, for all her faults when it came to the Delacours, tried to protect Gabrielle by pushing her to the ground so she'd be safe from whatever was happening.

Daphne came up out her seat as a reaction to all the commotion around her just before Harry reached the gathered group of witches and threw his body at them.

Harry, Ginny, Daphne, Hermione, and Fleur all went down in a heap.

"What the hell?" Bill yelled out.

Harry tried to untangle himself from the mass of fabric, frills, hair, and female body parts that seemed to be draped on and around him, but he realized how he was laying on Fleur and what she was - and was not wearing, and blushed.

"Harry!" Fleur cried out in surprise, blushing herself.

Ginny also turned red, but in an absolute fury.

Daphne started laughing and Hermione turned to her. "That is not funny! He should not be saying those things to a witch who's just about to be married!"

Harry found himself being lifted off Fleur with one hand by a now irate groom. "What did you say to my about-to-be wife?"

"Nothing!" Harry answered.

Fleur gasped and cried out again, louder this time. "HARRY! What have you done?"

"What?" Harry turned around. "Excuse me for thinking that a flash of light above your head was a bad thing. I've had to save the arses of half the Weasley family by this point. Might as well be your turn and get it over with sooner rather than later."

Sitting in the front row, Arthur leaned over to Molly. "He does have a point."

Molly glared at her husband.

"'Arry, you thought you were saving me at the same time? Zhis is not good. I was letting my magic out to bond. Zhat is zhe flash you saw. Zhat means. . . " - Fleur conjured a piece of paper and a ball-point pen, since France was far more advanced than Britain, and did the calculations.

Hermione, who was staring at Harry opened-mouthed, called out to Fleur. "You forgot to include Hussete's 295th law at its 12th interval."

"Oh damn, 'Ow could I 'ave forgot zhat? Zhank you soul-sister-bondmate future-lover."

She stopped and stared at Hermione, slack jawed.

It all clicked for Harry.

"Oh bloody hell!" he spun around once and hit the ground, out cold, which was just as well.

Bill was right peeved when he found out Fleur was now married to Harry, his sister, his brother's crush, and some Slytherin chick that was a distant relation of Fleur on her father's side.

Well, this is going to make the Horcrux hunt interesting. Hermione thought to herself.

The other three witches looked at her with shock when a fourth, yet unheard person asked, "'hat are Hor'ruxes?"

Hermione, Fleur, Ginny, and Daphne, of which the latter two were in too much shock to say a word now, all looked down to the ground.

There, standing next to Harry and petting his head, was a creature that had snuck up to the wedding to see what was going on just before the group had hit the ground.

A garden gnome named Buttons was the fifth and final female of the bond.

The other bonded females hit the ground next to Harry, out cold as well.

A/N This fic won't include Weasley bashing, at least not anymore than any other character. I just don't get the perverse joy people get from that.

Other than that... hope you all had fun and aren't too afraid to check out any of my other fics. The two serious ones are When a Veela Cries (Harry/Fleur) and The Dark Domination: The Rise of Dumbledore's Army (many 'ships, it's a DH fic of Dumbledore's Army that leads into another story I'm telling, which is primarily a Harry/Ginny fic).

Please check them out if you'd like.

For other humorous stuff by me, please check out my profile page for my other fics.