Title: Happy Valentine's Day
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Characters: Sheldon
Description: Sheldon celebrates he and Amy's first Valentine's Day
Genre: Comedy
Rating: G
Word Count: 247
Author's Note: Based on a prompt from FanForum, which was hosted at the Sheldon-Amy LiveJournal community
Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory is an American sitcom created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, and produced by them along with Lee Aronsohn. It is a Warner Brothers production and airs on CBS. All characters, plots and creative elements derived from the source material belong exclusively to their respective owners. I, the author of the fan fiction, do not, in any way, profit monetarily from the story.
Feedback: Accepted with love and squees.

February 14, 2012

Dear Amy Farrah Fowler,

All research points to the fact that St. Valentine's Day is a Catholic holiday, revering a martyr of which so little is known that he didn't even survive Pope Paul VI's great saint purge of 1969. However, even the most secular adherent of this celebration is forced to recognize that—far from the simple exchange of handwritten pleasantries this festival was originally conceived as—it has become a commercial monstrosity that taunts the lonely wanderers of the world while simultaneously burdening the romantically attached with expectations of candy, flowers and expensive jewelry. Historically, I have eschewed this holiday altogether for the reasons mentioned above, though, for the first time, I find myself in a relationship and (as a result) I am bound to the norms of social convention. That said, in the true spirit of this occasion, I have prepared the following statement:

Amy Farrah Fowler, I truly enjoy your companionship and sincerely hope that it continues into the foreseeable future. Despite some deviation (principally on your part) from the Relationship Agreement, I have found being your boyfriend (and having you as a girlfriend) to be most pleasant and, yes, even romantic. Additionally, you have likely already noticed that this statement is attached to a large box of chocolates. I hope you enjoy them without giving any thought whatsoever to their caloric content. They are not low-fat, as I find low-fat chocolates to be an exercise in absurdity.

Affectionately,

Sheldon Cooper, PhD