A/N: This is the requested side-story in which Clark and Lex have a ball destroying all of the gifts Dear Old Dad gave lil Alexander over the years. What better way to see the assortment of gifts Lex just found out were real, than to smash stuff to smithereens together, and make some pretty art?

Don't own nothing.

~*~*~CLEX!~*~*~

Clark heaved the Jaguar onto the grass beside the numerous other gifts Lionel had given Lex. "Are you sure about some of this stuff? I mean, the car makes sense, considering you've got like fifty without it, but some of it looks incredibly expensive and priceless. And what about some of these artifacts? You could donate them to a museum or something."

"I suppose you're right about the artifacts, and we'll set them aside for donation, but the rest of it really does have to go. I'm pretty sure most of it is bugged, at any rate," Lex said, gasping as he attempted to lift the sledgehammer Clark had brought. "Okay, what is this thing made of? I may not be the strongest of men, but this is ridiculous!"

Clark laughed. "It's titanium…I snapped the head off of too many of the other ones, so my dad had this one made specifically for me. Just…hang on, I'll go get my dad's…" There was a whoosh of air as the alien vanished, then a crash from the far end of the garden. "Oops, sorry! One urn down, 20 to go!" Clark shouted, picking his way gingerly through the assembled items. "Here, this one should be easier for you," He announced, stopping in front of the billionaire and presenting a normal looking sledgehammer.

Lex grabbed it and bounced the head up and down in his left hand. "This makes more sense. Now, what should we destroy first?"

Clark shrugged, grinning foolishly. "It's your stuff, you pick. Me? I'm going to make some modern art out of that titanium safe and the Jag."

Lex nodded as the boy hurried over to do just that, and gave the hammer a practice swing. The weight was a little rough on his shoulder, but it would be worth it. He walked over to the painting of Lionel and shoved the head through it, before starting in on the antiques around it. After an hour of destruction in which Lex had destroyed 14 priceless urns, 3 portraits, and innumerable small knick knacks, (and had subsequently witnessed all of the powers his friend had claimed to have, except the ice breath. He'd even witnessed the invulnerability of his friend, having swung the sledgehammer just as the boy popped up in front of him) the billionaire found himself utterly exhausted. He collapsed into a chair they'd moved out into the garden and poured himself a glass of wine as his young friend took the fractured pieces of the last of the urns and melted the colorful bits to the structure he'd built.

"What is that supposed to be, anyway?" Lex asked, sipping the wine the 18 year old had brought.

"You'll see, just one last thing," Clark yelled back, climbing off the large statue and stepping back several feet. "You, uh, might want to back up a bit…It's about to get really hot out here."

Lex shrugged. "I'll live. I want to see what you're going to do with this literal hunk of junk," He said, taking another sip of his wine.

Clark smirked at him. "It wasn't a suggestion," He chuckled. Lex suddenly found himself twenty feet farther away from the colorful pile of junk, deep grooves in the grass from where his chair had been dragged backwards.

"Very funny, Clark."

The superhero shrugged. "Should've listened," He said simply. He turned to his work-in-progress and Lex watched in fascination as all of the colorful pieces began to melt together. A flannel-colored blur raced around in the heat waves rolling off the large statue and it began to take on a familiar shape, frost forming on the elbows and other joints where the alien had become overzealous with the freezing process. When Clark was standing at his side, Lex studied the finished piece.

"You made a statue of me as Atlas?"

"Yeah…it's a little crude, but I never claimed to be a master of art. You like it? I could move it to the middle of the garden…or destroy it…oh yeah! Here," The 18 year old pulled crushed bits of technology out of his jeans pocket and dumped them into the waiting palm. "These are the bugs I could find. One of them was encased in lead, which was the only reason I even found it. I thought it was weird that there was a box inside the ear that I couldn't see into."

"You can't see through lead?"

"Nope."

"Odd…did you sign it?" Lex asked, gesturing to the statue.

"Um, no…should I?"

"You're supposed to sign artwork, yes."

"It's not exactly my own work, it's a mimic of someone else's piece."

"Still, artists have been doing that for years. Besides, it's not quite a mimic, since you have me standing straight with the world on my palm."

Clark chuckled. "He's got the whole world…in his hands…he's got the whole wide world…in his-OW!" Clark's recital of the song was cut off when Lex smacked him upside the head. He rubbed the spot with a goofy grin on his face.

"That didn't hurt."

"No, but I made you feel guilty, anyway."

"Gods don't feel guilty."

"Who said you were a god?"

"You did when you began singing a song to equate a statue of me to God holding the world in his hand."

"Sorry, I'll remember not to inflate your ego next time."

"Go sign your work, Kent. I'm going to take a shower, then we can figure something out for dinner."

"It's only four!"

"And it'll take me at least an hour to wash all of this grime off. I haven't sweat this much since I spent that week on your farm."

Clark laughed again. "Okay, okay, you go shower, I'll ransack your kitchen for something I know how to cook."

"You do that…if anything is destroyed, I'm telling Cathy who did it, though," Lex said, getting up and moving back towards the castle.

"But she'd kill me if she found out I was using her kitchen!"

"Then I advise you don't destroy anything." Clark began to grouse as he caught up with the billionaire. Lex laughed as he clapped his friend on the shoulder. "You should shower, too. Even if you don't sweat much, you smell like motor oil and gasoline."

"You could've warned me the car had a full tank, you know."

"You should've checked before blowing up the engine block."

"Whatever. It'll take a week to get this crap out of my hair. Is the shower in that guest room you usually let me use working again, or did you never get the hot water back on in that room?"

"It works. Let's both shower, then we'll raid the kitchen together for something sweet to cap off the celebration, okay?"

"Okay!" Clark said gleefully, taking off at a normal run up the stairs as they entered the large home. The boy was unusually attached to sugar, Lex mused as he made his way to his rooms at a much more sedate pace.