Title: Blunt Force Molossia
Characters/Pairings: Molossia/America, USUK through shipper goggles, Wy, Seborga, Sealand
Genre: Romance, Angst, Humor
Ratings/Warnings: M for swearing, sexual innuendo, and smuttiness (though nothing too explicit?).
Summary: Shawn is in love with Alfred Jones, but Alfred doesn't seem to notice how his friend really feels. A visit to a local bar may change everything, but then again, Arthur might just get really drunk and make things worse.

Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I was partially inspired to write this fic from all the awesome Molossia/America on pixiv featuring England being jealous or possessive.

Notes: I toggle between human and nation names throughout, so hopefully it isn't too confusing! (Molossia is named Shawn, Wy is Susan, Seborga is Sebastiano (goes by Sebastian), and Kugelmugel is Klaus).

Blunt Force Molossia

"Alfred!"

The blond man stopped walking and turned around, spotting the other man sprinting down the hallway behind him.

"What's up Shawn?" Alfred asked, quickly noting the citizens passing by. It had become a strict policy amongst the countries that they would use pseudonyms in public, lest they draw attention from people who would love nothing more than to see a nation fall.

"Wha- ah fuck," Shawn sputtered, catching his breath.

"You really shouldn't swear so much in public, man."

"I'll say whatever the hell I want thank you very much!"

"Anyway, what did you want to ask me?"

"I was wondering if," Shawn continued to sputter, looking down at the ground, "If you'd like to get a drink with me sometime?"

Alfred let out a toothy grin, "Sure! That sounds like fun!"

"Re-really?" Shawn stuttered, a blush spreading across his face, along with a shocked expression.

"Yeah! Hey, maybe we could invite Arthur too! I think he's kinda bummed since we stopped seeing each other, ya know? We can make an evening out of it! It'll be a blast!"

"Yeah," Shawn frowned, starting to regain his hostile demeanor, "sounds like fun."

"Fuck," Shawn swore to himself, having parted ways with Alfred. "I'm the fucking Republic of Molossia but I can't do something as simple as that? I'm a disgrace."

"That was pretty lousy."

Shawn turned to see two of his friends, Sealand and Wy, leaning against a building as watching people pass them by on the sidewalk.

"What the hell?"

"Relax, we're not stalking you or anything," Wy explained, rolling her eyes, "We're waiting for Sebastian. We just happened to snag a front row seat to your utter stupidity by coincidence."

"I don't get it; why is going to a bar stupid?" Sealand asked, "You're not planning on driving afterwards are you?"

"No you idiot, learn to pay attention!" Wy sighed as she scoffed him on head. "Why don't you go to that arcade across the street? I need to talk to Shawn alone for a minute."

"Might as well conquer all the arcade games while I'm here! I do have a reputation to uphold!" Sealand pumped his fist into the air before running towards the crosswalk.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Shawn growled, feeling his pulse racing, "I don't need to deal with this shit."

"Alfred's too oblivious, you need to stop being so subtle!" Wy shouted, causing Shawn to freeze.

"What do you mean?" he asked, turning around and eying her warily.

"See, I knew you needed my help!" Wy crossed her arms and sighed, "All you boys are so stupid – I'm amazed you lasted this long without me."

"If you're so smart, how come you're not a full-fledged nation?"

"I'm recognized, aren't I?" Wy grinned in spite of herself, "It's all a work in progress. If I didn't have my paintings to work on as well I'm sure I'd be independent by now."

"I'll take your word for it," Shawn muttered, lowering his guard, "Now I'm not suggesting you're right, but let's just say I was trying to… you know…"

Wy circled around him, "First order of business is to stop acting so bipolar. One minute you're this well-manner guy who likes flowers and puppies and the next you're this guy who swears and yells a lot."

Wy stopped and pivoted on her heels, "All those kid shows say that in order to get into a healthy relationship you need to 'be yourself.' While I guess that's important you also don't want to act like a psychopath. Guys crave consistency and comfort. So just act normal when you're trying to get with him. You can release your crazy later when you have him in your clutches."

"Fuck. That sounds terrifying."

"Dating is terrifying," Wy proclaimed, "Just as is any pursuit. You need to start out with a strategy, or you'll never get your driveway and-"

"Driveway?" Shawn frowned.

"Sorry, that was… something else," Wy shook her head as if to clear her mind.

"Well, what else do I do?"

"With what?"

Shawn turned to see a young man around the same age as him, his auburn brown hair giving way to a prominent curl on the right side of his head.

"Oh, hey Sebastian! I'm teaching Shawn how to get Alfred as his boyfriend."

"Well don't tell him that!" Shawn shouted, looking around frantically feeling his body grow numb. While he had thought about it a lot, that was the first time he'd ever heard it vocalized out loud. He couldn't help but feel absolutely terrified.

"Woah, relax man!" Sebastian patted Shawn on the shoulder, causing the other boy to jump. "Susan, did you tell him to stop being an emotional rollercoaster?"

"We just went over that," Susan nodded, appearing in deep thought. "My other point of contention was Alfred himself. Shawn just asked Alfred out for drinks and he thought it was just as friends, and invited Arthur along too."

"Sounds like Feliciano," Sebastian grinned, "A few months ago, Ludwig told him that he needed to learn how to read the atmosphere, so he spent ages going to libraries in search of a book called 'the atmosphere' so he could learn how to read it."

"I'm not sure Alfred is that bad, but he seems pretty damn close," Susan leaned against the building again, apparently tired of theatrical motions, "Basically, you need to be as blunt as you possibly can or he'll never get it. Subtext won't be enough."

"I… see…" Shawn mumbled, staring off into the distance. Across the street, Sealand had begun arguing with some other kids over one of the game machines.

"What's he doing now?" Susan sighed, absentmindedly adjusting her ponytail before crossing the street to deal with the situation.

"So what bar are you guys going to tonight?" Sebastian asked cheerfully, Shawn looked at him blankly, before looking back across the street at Susan and feeling himself growing upset.

"Relax," Sebastian waved his hands nervously, "She didn't out you to me or anything. It was so obvious that we figured it out on our own. We even had a pool going to see when you would make a move, if ever."

"Wha-?" Shawn stared at Sebastian in shock, "You guys knew this entire time? All of you?"

Sebastian laughed, "It took Peter a while though. He was convinced you were secretly doing drugs or something."

"Fuck that shit. I'm never going near that crap!"

"Yeah, exactly. Though to be honest we're not entirely sure if Klaus knows. It's kind of difficult to tell if there's anything in his brain besides thoughts about what is art."

Shawn frowned, "So wait, if you had a pool going on, isn't this cheating?"

"Susan thought the whole thing was stupid, but in the end I think it got too painful for her to watch. I was about this close to interfering myself." Sebastian looked him square in the eye, "So I asked before – What bar are you guys going to tonight?"

"We haven't decided yet. I guess someone's supposed to call someone else and figure out all that crap?"

Sebastian snapped his fingers, "Perfect!"

"I can't do this," Shawn said to himself, staring into the mirror above him. He was seated at the bar, which offered large, reflective mirrors lining where the walls met the ceiling.

"Not with that attitude!" Shawn glared at Sebastian, who was perched behind the bar cleaning a glass. Most of the nations held normal jobs as a way to further integrate themselves with their people, and micronations were no exception.

"Just remember what Susan said – Be nice, normal-"

"-and don't loose my shit. I know." Shawn mumbled. A moment later, he felt himself start to get worked up. Why'd I have to bring these? Shawn thought angrily to himself, clutching the bouquet of flowers in his lap, I'm just going to embarrass myself.

"Hey Shawn!"

Shawn turned to see Alfred at the entrance of the bar, waving. Arthur was slumped next to him, apparently having started his drinking prior to arrival.

Crap. "Hey, I'll be over in a sec!" Shawn shouted in a panic, and rushed down the bar where Sebastian was flirting with a young blonde woman.

"I need you to get rid of these!" Shawn demanded, shoving the bouquet in his friend's face.

"Wha-?" Sebastian blinked in confusion.

"Eat them, burn them, I don't care! Just get rid of them!"

"They're such lovely flowers though," Sebastian sighed, "Seems a shame to just get rid of them. Would you like one, miss?" Sebastian asked, picking out a flower and gracefully leaning over the bar to offer one to her, "A beautiful rose such as this needs to be given to someone beautiful."

The woman giggled and took the flower, and Shawn swore to himself. Why couldn't he be that forward with Alfred?

When he returned to where he had been sitting, Alfred and Arthur were seated comfortably and already ordered drinks from the other bartender, as the place had started to become more crowded. Arthur was leaning over and drumming on the bar-top, humming a Beatles song.

"Hey, what was that all about?"

"Oh yeah, that," Shawn looked over at Sebastian and the blonde, "He wanted to impress her so he had me run out and get flowers."

"Man, you're the best wingman ever!" Alfred grinned, leaning back on his stool, "Here's hoping you pick up a hot blonde too!"

"That's the plan," Shawn responded, as the bartender delivered their drinks.

The next hour went okay. Shawn was doing his best to talk to Alfred without completely flipping out or using a huge string of swear words, but his nerves were making it difficult. It didn't help that Arthur was there too, getting progressively drunker and constantly steering the conversation off track.

"I need to hit the can. Be right back!" Alfred stood up and walked fairly confidently to the bathroom. Shawn finished his drink and sighed.

"He was mine once you know," Arthur slurred, sitting up and staring at Shawn, "He was mine but then he left. He never told me why, just left."

"That blows," Shawn responded, wincing.

"I just want to get back to that. I miss him so much!" Arthur swore and stood up uneasily, "Like, I just want us to get back what we had. I think he does too, but I don't know what to do, and now I'm drunk and not the kind of drunk where stuff gets done! Oh," Arthur blinked, before struggling to get back on his stool, "standing isn't a good idea. Sitting is better."

"Well, I don't know what-"

"You know what!" Arthur glared at Shawn, "You can't have what we had. France tried and he didn't get it either. He's mine! Or at least he'll be mine again… you'll see!"

Shawn blinked, shell-shocked. His emotions were haywire, and he couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to punch Arthur or just cry and go home.

"Hey what's up you guys?" Alfred chimed in, hopping back onto his stool and giving Shawn a bright look. Over his shoulder, Shawn could see Arthur glaring at him in a drunken haze, though he seemed to be glaring at the back of Alfred's head as well.

"I need to take a piss," Shawn responded, jumping up and rushing to the bathroom. Locking himself into a stall, he held his head in his hands.

He was so stupid to think this could actually work. Arthur and Alfred had history going back to the 1600s. If Arthur couldn't make Alfred pay attention to him, what chance did he have?

Shawn felt a vibration in his pocket, and answered it with out checking the I.D. "This really isn't a good time."

"I can't believe you're giving up so easily!"

"Wy?"

"Seborga called me. He said that you darted into the bathroom a few minutes ago with your tail between your legs!"

"It's no use. England is right."

"England is drunk. Did you remember nothing from earlier? You need to try your hardest; otherwise you'll never get your driveway!"

"Driveway?"

"It's a metaphor. Figure it out. I can't do all the work for you guys."

"I liked it better when you hated everyone."

"Just do it! And don't dance around the subject like you've been doing all night. Make yourself perfectly clear." Susan hung up, and Shawn sighed. Maybe she was right. Maybe he could-

"Hey Shawn? Are you in here?"

Fuck. Shawn stood up and opened the stall door. The bathroom was deserted, leaving him alone with Alfred, who appeared concerned.

"Are you okay? You seemed kind of upset."

"It's… nothing."

"Are you sure?" Alfred asked, and Shawn found himself staring through two sets of lenses into his eyes - those bright blue eyes that seemed to radiate laugher and comfort.

"There is something. I'm not sure how you'll think though…" Shawn mumbled, lifting his sunglasses up and rest them on top of his forehead.

"Lay it on me! I'm the hero! I can handle anything!"

Shawn leaned closer and Alfred pointed to his face, "What? Do I have ketchup on me or something?"

"No, nothing like that."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just getting my driveway."

Before Alfred could ask what he meant, Shawn lunged forward and grabbed him in a kiss, mashing their lips together. His heart was beating so fast and he felt his palms begin to sweat. He only meant for the kiss to last a moment, but when he decided to start pulling away Alfred pulled him in closer. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and Shawn leaned in as well.

Alfred threw his arms over Shawn's shoulders and opened his mouth, the kiss dissolving into heated and desperate battle between their tongues. Shawn pushed him over towards the wall, and Alfred slid onto a sink and wrapped his legs around Shawn's waist.

This isn't happening. This can't be happening. Not for me. Shawn thought to himself, as he gripped Alfred's back and ran his fingers along the muscle.

Shawn broke the kiss, and they panted heaving, looking at each other in amazement, "I- I- mean I-" Shawn stammered, at a loss for words.

"You should've just said so from the beginning," Alfred exhaled, before lunging forward and resuming their make out session.

Shawn's face was red, and he felt Alfred's thumb massage the back of his neck. On instinct, he thrust forward lightly, and when he felt Alfred's crotch brush up against his, electricity shot up his spine.

It wasn't exactly what Shawn had imagined. He had pictured the two of them sitting together at a café holding hands, walking along the road in the desert with some dogs running around in excitement. Even in his smuttier fantasies, he never pictured the two of them clawing at each other in the bathroom of a bar.

Emboldened, Shawn jerked up against him once more, and he heard Alfred groan into his mouth, both their arousals evident. A moment later, Alfred broke the kiss and they caught their breath, still straddling one another.

Before either of them could say anything, Arthur burst in. Shawn's anxiety flared, but the Brit didn't appear to notice them, instead racing for a stall. A moment later they heard the sound of violent puking.

"Well, if anyone could kill the mood," Alfred snorted, pushing himself off the sink, his face red and his shirt disheveled.

"We'd better help him," Shawn replied, not entirely sure what else to say.

After Arthur finished puking, he stumbled out of the bathroom himself, refusing Alfred's offer of assistance. The bar had mostly cleared out, and Sebastian had put his apron away and was heading out with the blonde from earlier. When he saw Alfred and Shawn, he grinned and gave them a thumbs up, causing them to blush even more.

It didn't take much to persuade Arthur to get into a cab, though he did cling to Alfred outside the bar and begin rambling about the War of 1812. After strapping him in, Alfred turned to Shawn, his face still red.

"So about what just happened," Shawn stammered, looking at the ground, "I-"

He was interrupted when Alfred grabbed him by the chin and lifted his head up, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Want to see a movie tomorrow?" Alfred grinned. "I want to see where this goes, aside from the physical stuff, so if you want to-

"I- yes!" Shawn responded, his sunglasses sliding down his nose.

Shawn stood on the sidewalk and watched Alfred get in the cab and give the driver directions to where Arthur was staying. Watching the cab receding into the distance, he allowed himself to smile.

As he began walking back to where he was staying, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"So? How did it go?" Susan demanded.

"I went for it-"

"And?"

"We made out in the fucking bathroom!"

"I don't need to hear all the details," Susan replied crossly, "But I guess way to go with getting to first or second base before you even have a date? Do you think-"

"We have a date tomorrow at the movies!"

"Oh your first date! See, I told you if you followed my advice-"

"Our- first date," Shawn gulped, "I didn't even think this far ahead. Shit. What should I say? Should I bring him flowers or is that only with girls? WHAT MOVIE SHOULD WE SEE?"

"I liked it better when you were a cocky asshole."

"So I should be a badass on the date?"

"Oh god. Just. Come over to my house first thing tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do." Susan groaned.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! This is my first time writing straight yaoi (ba dum tish) so sorry if it wasn't that great. Reviews and other forms of feedback are greatly appreciated!