A/N- Well, this idea's been bouncing around in my head for a while, so I decided to write it down. Enjoy the Espada at their finest. (not really)

Rated T mostly because of language. (Nnoitra and Grimmjow are in it. What do you expect?)

Disclaimer- I don't own Bleach. If I did, it'd have way more violence in it and Ichigo would be able to stay dead for more than five minutes. And it would suck.

"Gah! There's nothin' ta do..."

"Tell me 'bout it."

The two Espada were lounging in Las Noches' Relaxation room, bored out of their wits.

"Shouldn't ya be off killin' somethin'?" Nnoitra asked.

"Shouldn't you be raping something?" the Sexta replied.

"Tch."

Tesra, who followed Nnoitra everywhere, looked like he was deep in thought.

"You know what? Ya could just have some fun with Tesra here. Everyone already thinks ya do."

At Grimmjow's comment, the sandy-haired fracción snapped to attention, blushing profusely.

"I'll take that as a 'Yes, he would'." The bluenette said, grinning.

"Shaddup, pussy."

"Make me."

Before the Arrancar could attempt to murder each other, Tesra pipped up. "I, uh, just thought of something we can do."

"Do we wanna know?"

"I don't know... Might be kinda fun."

While Grimmjow looked at the smaller Arrancar with some suspicion, Nnoitra spoke. "Well? Let's hear it."

"We should start a Prank War."

The declaration was met with surprised looks from both Espada. Then, both of their faces split into wide grins.

"I like it..." Nnoitra stated.

Grimmjow's grin spread even wider. "Where do we start?"

...

Ulquiorra was taking a leisurely stroll around Las Noches. It wasn't his turn to monitor the security cameras, and there wasn't anything else to do...

He suddenly heard a shrill cry from his left. Glancing over, he realized he was near Szayel's laboratory. Guessing that the mad scientist was conducting another experiment, he moved on.

Grimmjow was sauntering down the hall towards the shorter Espada, which didn't faze him. He probably just wanted to pick a fight or something.

"Ulquiorra!" the panther-like Arrancar called, rolling the 'R's slightly.

"What do you want, trash?" he said in his low, monotone voice.

Grimmjow just smirked, making Ulquiorra even more suspisious.

"What makes ya think I want something?"

"You only address me by my name if you do. Usually it's just 'Emo Bitch'." Ulquiorra stated, trying to walk around the larger male. He just kept moving in front of him, though.

"Out of my way, tra-" the Cuatro Espada was cut short by something crashing into the back of his head. His eyes widened in shock before he fell forward, unconscious.

Nnoitra stepped out form the shadows. "Nice job distractin' 'em." The spoon-like Arrancar was now eyeing the fallen Espada hungrily.

"Are you gonna rape him or are we gonna finish what we started?"

Nnoitra's face fell in disappointment. Grumbling under his breath, he threw Ulquiorra over his shoulder and headed towards Grimmjow's room. "Ya got the stuff?"

"Yep. This is gonna be good."

...

Aizen had called an Espada meeting. Almost everyone had arrived, even Starrk, who had been woken up by Lillynette jumping on his head. She had enthusiastically complied with Aizen's request to get him to the meeting on time, apparently.

The meeting couldn't start until all Espada were present, and Ulquiorra had yet to show. This was concerning to their leader, as the Cuatro was usually one of the first to arrive at meetings.

The occupants of the room were chatting among themselves, some, like Gin, teasing the others. Wonderweiss was sitting next to Tosen, eyeing Gin suspiciously, while the blind man was lecturing him on justice. Starrk was now falling asleep at the table, Baraggan was staring at Harribel, who looked like she wanted to strangle him, Zommari was just staring blankly into space, Szayel was analyzing the table's surface, Aaroniero was arguing with himself, and Yammy just looked bored. Nnoitra and Grimmjow, however, were grinning from ear to ear, and were barely able to sit still.

The door to the meeting room creaked open.

"Ulquiorra, care to tell me why you're late?" Aizen asked, having sensed the Espada's spiritual pressure. He didn't bother opening his eyes, which were closed for some reason.

Everyone in the room turned to glance at the unusually late man and had to do a double take. After a few seconds of staring at him, astounded, the whole room exploded with laughter. Even Tosen, Aizen, and Harribel gave him shocked looks, followed by amused smiles. Baraggan's expression didn't change. Nnoitra and Grimmjow were literally rolling on the floor laughing their asses off.

"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra growled, lunging at his fellow Espada, who dodged him. His reaction just caused everyone to laugh even harder.

"What the hell happened to your hair?" Szayel gasped in between laughs.

"Look- gasp -Looks good on ya, Ulqui!" Gin managed to get out, which was a feat considering that he was currently on the floor clutching his sides, laughing and trying to regain his breath.

"Very, erm... Interesting," Starrk said, smirking while trying his best not to laugh. His attempt to control it failed, and he fell out of his chair with a thud, roaring with laughter.

Aizen was watching his normally calm, collected Espada chase Grimmjow around the room. The Cuatro looked like he was out to kill, while the Sexta now had tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Aizen really couldn't blame him; Ulquiorra's hair was styled as close to his own as it could get, all slicked back with a single piece falling in his face. And it looked ridiculous.

"What's wrong, Emo Boy? Don't like yer hair?" Grimmjow cackled, dodging Ulquiorra's sword, which he had taken to swinging at his fellow Espada's head, attempting to lop it off.

"Now, now. Everyone, Settle down," Aizen calmly said, attempting to restore order. The Espada who were on the floor returned to their chairs, while Gin stayed spread-eagle on the floor, still trying to stop laughing and catch his breath. He was failing miserably, his gaze going back to Ulquiorra and causing him to burst out in a new wave of giggles.

Only Ulquiorra and Grimmjow remained standing.

"Ulquiorra, please sheath your zanpakuto." Said Cuatro did what he was told. "Now you two, explain yourselves. Why is Ulquiorra's hair like that?"

Pointing a black-nailed finger at the bluenette beside him, the shorter Arrancar simply said, "He did it."

This caused Nnoitra and Szayel to start snickering again, and Aizen to raise his eyebrow at the childish statement.

"Grimmjow, why did you do this to Ulquiorra's hair?"

"What makes you think I did?" he replied nonchalantly.

"My dear Cuatro would never lie to me."

Several Espada rolled their eyes.

"Now tell me- Why did you do it?"

Grimmjow, not wanting to take all the blame, blurted out the truth. "Spoon helped me!"

Said spoon stood and raised himself to his full height, towering at at least seven feet. "Mah name isn't Spoon, dammit!"

"So you don't deny that you helped in disgracing my poor Cuatro?" Nnoitra froze, and Ulquiorra scowled at the nickname.

"Fine. But Tesra though' o' it."

A muffled, "What?" sounded from the direction of the door; Apparently, the Arrancar had been spying on the meeting.

Aizen ignored this. "Tesra is your fracción. You don't have to listen to him. He isn't responsible for your actions. Now, can the two of you answer this question for me? Why?"

"Prank War," they said in unison.

Everyone in the room gave them strange looks, then glanced at the people around them.

"You started a Prank War and didn't tell us?" Starrk asked, staring at Ulquiorra.

"I wasn't informed of this 'Prank War'," Ulquiorra stated simply.

"You two should know better than to play a prank on someone who isn't aware of your War."

The three Espada stared at their leader in disbelief.

"You... That's your reaction?" Grimmjow asked, astounded that he wasn't being yelled at.

"Of coarse. It was all in good fun." Turning to Ulquiorra, Aizen asked, "Ulquiorra, why did you make such a big deal out of this? It's hair gel- it washes out."

"Yes, but this won't come out."

"It won't?"

"No sir. I already tried."

"Grimmjow. Nnoitra." The ex-shinigami turned to the two Espada, who were attempting to escape the meeting room. They froze and turned around. "What did you put in Ulquiorra's hair?"

"Err..."

"Nnoitra."

"We don't know," Grimmjow answered truthfully. "Szayel gave it to us."

"I thought you were going to use it!" the pink-haired Espada exclaimed.

"Well then... Szayel, what was it?" Aizen inquired.

"A solution that's like permanent hair gel," the scientist answered.

"Don't tell me my hair's stuck like this..." Ulquiorra muttered under his breath.

Aizen, hearing the Cuatro's comment, raised his eyebrow. "Well?"

"It should wear off in a couple days, maybe a week."

"Well then, Ulquiorra. It looks like you're stuck with that hairstyle for a while."

"Fine..." he replied, still distraught at the condition of his usually messy hair. "Thank you, Aizen-sama."

"Meeting dismissed." Aizen said, seeing that nothing was going to get done with the Espada's hair like that. To distracting.

The occupants of the room made to leave, some, namely Gin, still laughing.

Aizen stood and began to stroll down one of Las Noches' many corridors, still amused. He chuckled lightly. That truely did look ridiculous on him.

'Wait, is that how I look?' he thought, pausing for a moment.

'I hope not.'

Next chapter- The Prank War goes into full effect.

A/N- XD Ulquiorra with Superman-style hair... Anyways, I tried to keep everyone in character... Besides Ulquiorra, that is. He kinda overreacted. Most of the characters will probably be OOC at some point in this fic, so... Please tell me if this is a good idea or not. If this chapter seemed a bit dull, fear not. The next one should be much, much more entertaining.

Review for Ulquiorra's hair.