Hey guys! So sorry about the wait, my laptop completely died, and when I eventually got it up and running again, I realized that I lost this chapter. So I had to re-write quite a bit of it even after I got my laptop fixed. One good thing came out of it; I realized I need to back up my laptop better, because if it had died permanently, I would have lost pretty much everything on it… Sorry, anyways, enjoy!

James and Lily exchanged wide-eyed glances. James jumped into action, snatching the invisibility cloak off of the floor and quickly throwing it over himself, but holding it up over his head so that Lily could join him.

"Hold on!" she whispered, bending at the waist to snatch up the basket. She quickly scooped up the napkin full of tarts and tossed it in, then ran and grabbed the tart that had flown out, and scrambled back under the invisibility cloak just as the sound of shuffling footsteps approached them.

"Students out of bed?" Filch sniffed around the corner, Mrs. Norris on his heels.

James could feel the cat's luminous yellow eyes on the two of them under the cloak, and she mewed loudly. He scowled at the cat.

Lily stifled a nervous giggle under the cloak. James shot her a warning glance, grabbed her wrist, and led her, on tiptoe, down the hall, away from Filch and Mrs. Norris. They crept quietly down the hall, decorated by numerous paintings of food and kitchen-related fare. They slinked silently to the end of the hall, to an old, rickety set of stairs that James knew led to the back of a broom closet on the next floor. James glanced back down the hall to see Filch tickling the pear on the painting of fruit. He probably thought that they had vanished into the kitchens.

Up? Lily mouthed at him, pointing up, her brow furrowed.

He grinned and shook his head, pointing downward.

She cast him a bemused stare, her eyebrows knitting together.

He let go of her wrist, ducked out from under the invisibility cloak and stooped under the staircase, where a large crate took up most of the small space. He quietly tipped the crate onto its side, pulled up a trapdoor, wincing as it gave a low creak, and jumped down into the blackness.

After several feet of free-falling, he landed, crouched on soft dirt in a small, dark tunnel.

"James?" Lily's whispered voice echoed down the tunnel from above.

"Don't worry, I've got you!" James called in a reassuring whisper. "Close the trapdoor behind you!"

There was a shuffling noise, a small squeal of fear, and a slam as they were closed into darkness.

Lily flew down and landed in James's open arms with a muffled "Umph!"

James chuckled and reluctantly set her back on her feet. He liked holding her in his arms; it made him feel in a strange way that she depended on him. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She was slightly breathless. "That was scary!"

"You don't sound too torn up about it."

"What can I say?" she shrugged, her auburn hair bunching up between her chin and shoulder. "You're a bad influence on me."

They set off down the dark, narrow tunnel, James in the lead.

"I know." He agreed. "Would your parents hate me if they knew I was turning you into a rule-breaker?"

She rolled her eyes at the low ceiling. "Are you kidding me? They never call me a stick in the mud to my face, but I know they wish I'd loosen up a little sometimes."

"Really?" James was taken aback. It seemed like such an odd thing for parents to wish for. Didn't every parent wish for a child like Lily? His certainly did. Well, his mum at least. She always griped about it when she received letters from the Hogwarts staff complaining about his behavior. His father, though, pretended to back his wife, but didn't seem to really mind James' mischief. He was the same way when he was in school. Being a magnet for trouble seemed to run in the family. Or maybe it was actually the talent to cause trouble.

"Yeah." She replied. "Tuney's even worse then me though. She walks around like she's got a wand stuck up her arse."

James let out a shout of laughter. "So when do I get to meet her?"

Lily made a face, wrinkling her nose. "It's almost impossible to imagine you and Tuney in the same room."

"What about your parents?"

Her nose unwrinkled. "That's easier to think about. I think they would like you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They're like Alice; they find it amusing that I didn't like you for so long and now…"

"Yes?" He smiled teasingly over his shoulder at her.

"Things are different now." She grinned sheepishly back at him.

They walked at a good pace down the tunnel, their conversation flowing easily from topic to topic: quidditch, classes and classmates, plans for the Christmas ball, which somehow morphed into recollections of their most memorable holidays. James was telling her about the time he first accidentally used magic, the Christmas he was eight years old, when they exited the tunnel through a hollow tree near Hagrid's pumpkin patch.

"I know it's kind of odd, but I was just so happy they got me that broom, I couldn't contain myself. And the next thing I know, I'm floating on the ceiling!"

Lily laughed as they pushed through a bunch of bushes and came to stand on the fringe of the Forbidden forest, the bright moonlight filtering in through the canopy of pine needles above them.

"Do you know how many times I walked past this tree?" Lily asked rhetorically, gaping back at entrance of the tunnel, well concealed by the big, soft-leafed bushes. "I never imagined there was a secret entrance to the school there. How on earth did you find all these secret passages?"

"In the past couple years the four of us have done a lot of wandering out and about the school." James chuckled. "And you can imagine how much easier it is, having an infallible invisibility cloak."

"Infallible?" Lily repeated dubiously. "Don't invisibility cloaks usually wear out after a certain number of uses?"

"Usually." James shrugged. "But mine's been in the family for centuries, and to my knowledge, it's never been repaired or refurbished or anything."

"Hmm." Lily said thoughtfully. "You'd better be careful," she teased as they walked along the edge of the forest. "Soon I'll know all the marauder's secrets."

He grinned wickedly. "Yeah, right."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What more could there possibly be? I know about Remus's 'furry little problem,' I know at least half the secret passages, the room of requirement, and I know your nonsensical nicknames, though you do have yet to tell me the reasons behind them." She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Well, that's kind of the biggest marauder secret of them all." He said matter-of-factly.

She looked at him, the curiosity apparent in her face. Would she be mad if he told her? She would have to find out eventually anyways. Would she turn them in? It was illegal, after all.

"Let's eat our dessert. If it survived, that is." He changed the subject, though knowing that she wouldn't let him forget about it.

"All right." She agreed, albeit narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him. "Where do you want to sit? I think a few of them survived the fall."

"Erm…" His eyes searched the edge of the forest and came to rest upon a thick, fallen tree trunk, partially covered in moss. "How about this?" He pulled her over to it and sat tenderly on a patch of green moss. It was oddly comfortable.

"Sure." She climbed up onto the trunk beside him and folded her legs into a criss-crossed position, setting the basket in her lap. She rummaged through the cloth full of napkins and tossed a rather beat-up looking tart into the forest.

"That was the one that fell on the floor." She said, pulling out two more tarts, in slightly better shape than the last.

"What, you don't want that one?" He said jokingly.

"Mmm, yes, essence of shoe bottoms." She wrinkled her nose as she handed him one of the tarts on a white square of linen.

He took a bite. The pastry was light and airy, the raspberries smooth and sweet on his tongue. "These are really good, Lils." He commented. "Did you help make these?"

"Mhmm" she nodded, her mouth full of tart.

"So you had fun with the house elves?"

She nodded again. "They're adorable. And they act like I'm their favorite person in the whole world."

"They don't get many visitors." James grinned.

"Hey!" she scowled at him. "I think it has more to do with the fact that I am just amazing in general."

James wrinkled his brow as though thinking very hard while he took another bite of his tart. "No," he shook his head after a moment. "I don't think that can be it."

She laughed lightheartedly. "I really liked working with them, though. They're just so cheerful; it's like there's nothing they'd rather be doing than mixing batter and scrubbing pans."

"Well, maybe there is nothing they would rather be doing." He said placidly.

She gazed pensively across the grounds, chewing slowly. "Maybe." She paused for a moment, her eyebrows forming a V on her forehead. "How did house elves come about? Have they always served wizards? Or did we just enslave them a long time ago?"

James scratched his nose and tried to remember what he had read about house elves in A History of Magic. "I know it's hard to think about, but I'm pretty sure house elves have been around serving wizards since wizards first came into existence."

"Which was when?" she looked at him, but he could tell she wasn't really expecting an answer.

"Whenever humans came into existence, I guess." He gazed back at her steadily. She had a small pastry crumb on her lower lip and he hesitantly reached towards her. She froze, her eyes locked on his uncertainly as his fingers brushed her cheek.

He gently cupped her chin in his hand and wiped the crumb away with his thumb, causing her to shiver slightly under his touch. She blushed as he drew his hand away.

"I'm kind of a messy eater." She grinned sheepishly.

"Me koo." He said, his voice muffled through the large piece of pastry he had just stuffed in his mouth.

She laughed at his chipmunk expression and stuffed the rest of hers in her mouth as well, cheeks bulging.

"Mmm, wuh foe matrakiv." Lily said incomprehensibly.

"Wha?" James replied.

"I seh, we ahh so attracive." She said more articulated, both hands covering her mouth as she struggled to chew.

James laughed, nearly choking as he attempted to swallow the huge lump of dough in his mouth. "Oh, yes. Irresistible." He managed, clearing his throat.

"Gah." Lily coughed. "That was terrible."

"Imagine eating like that all the time." James laughed at her expression. "I don't know how Sirius does it."

Lily grinned—she always made fun of Sirius's eating habits, which, depending on the day, ranged from fairly dreadful to simply vomit-inducing.

"Definitely takes a special skill to eat in the perfect imitation of a starving troll." She agreed.

He chuckled and jumped up from his seat on the tree trunk.

"Are you going to show me whatever the big secret is now?" Lily said, throwing their linen napkins back into the basket and brushing the crumbs off of her hands.

"I don't know…" he said thoughtfully. "I'm afraid of how you'll react."

She looked at him intensely, the moon reflecting in her eyes. "I solemnly swear I will not go mad, no matter what it is."

He cracked a grin. "That's a hefty promise to keep."

"Okay," she conceded. "I would probably go mad on you if you were all covertly death eaters."

He froze, looking at her in apparent alarm, his eyes wide.

She also froze, her hands petrified in midair.

He laughed suddenly, causing her to relax. "Don't do that!" she smacked him good-naturedly in the arm.

"Come on, Lils," he rolled his eyes. "Do you really have that little faith in me?"

She wrinkled her lips together, eyes worried. "No… I think I just have trouble trusting people…"

"Because of Snape." James surmised, feeling his eyes harden at her heartbreaking expression.

"You can't distract me," She said suddenly, a playful grin coming onto her face. "I want to know what the big secret is."

She looked at him expectantly, her lower lip sticking out slightly.

"Ehh… I don't know Lils." He grimaced. "The guys might kill me if I show you."

Her eyes were achingly wide, innocent and curious.

"Please?" she put on a puppy-dog face remarkably similar to Sirius's.

He rolled his eyes and released her hand. "Fine," he sighed. "Follow me."

He walked into the shadows of the forest again and she followed behind curiously. "Just don't scream, okay?"

"Okay?" Lily clamped a hand over her mouth as a precaution as James backed away from her. He could feel the curiosity radiating off her from a meter away.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax, despite feeling Lily's scrutinizing eyes on him. He let the darkness behind his lids consume him, retreating deep within himself, to the part of his consciousness at the back of his mind that was more creature than human, the part of him that had been irrevocably altered in fifth year when he, Sirius, and Peter transformed for the first time. He focused every particle of his being in that corner of his mind, feeling the powerful, instinctual freedom, like vapors around the edges of the animal abyss. He dived into the pool with all of his mind, soul, and body, causing a shift in his very core. His various muscle groups pulled and stretched rapidly, causing an itching discomfort as he changed from his human form into something entirely different. Hair sprung up all over his body as he dropped to all fours, his feet and hands shrinking and hardening into shiny black hooves. His skull splintered painfully as a great crown of antlers rapidly sprung out of it. His nose and neck elongated, his limbs narrowed and his ears pulled outward as he entered his second form. He shook his head once the shift was complete, slightly off balance by the sudden weight atop his head. Despite how many times he'd changed, it always threw him off to have the huge prongs suddenly sticking out of his skull. Lily's face looked a bit strange, the paleness of her skin and the redness of her hair coming into his vision slightly different through the creature's eyes, but the surprise pasted on her face was so utterly obvious, it was almost laughable. She stood, frozen, her eyes shaped more like galleons than almonds in pure shock. He stayed where he was, dipping his head slightly so that his eyes were at her level. Even though he was on four legs, his long limbs and neck made it so his head was still above hers. They stared at each-other for an immeasurable moment.

"James?" She finally uttered, her voice small.

He dipped his head twice, like a nod.

"Merlin's beard." She gasped, her mouth hanging open slightly.

He struck a pose, sticking his neck out to show off his antlers ostentatiously.

She giggled nervously. "Okay, you're definitely still the James I know."

He resumed a more natural position and looked at her intently, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Prongs…" she said slowly, understanding suddenly dawning on her face. He dipped his head.

"You're not registered, are you?" she said after a moment.

James gave a snort that would have been laughter in his human shape. Of course, she didn't care that he turned into an enormous stag at will, but rather, that he turned into an enormous stag at will illegally. Only Lily. She took a small step forward, reaching cautiously toward him. She paused, her hand an inch away from his nose. He stepped forward, nuzzling his face on her hand. She laughed nervously, stroking the fur on his neck. "I always liked deer."

He shook his head slightly, pawing the ground with a hoof.

"Oh, sorry." She amended. "Stag, right?"

He nodded again.

"Hey, watch the antlers." She laughed, stepping back slightly.

He tossed his head playfully, causing her to shriek and trip backwards. He snorted a laugh again.

"Stop that!" she laughed, regaining her balance. "You could spear me through with one of those things by complete accident!"

He moved forward slowly and nosed her hand again. She pulled her fingers through his fur slowly, eliciting a soft, contented sound from the base of his throat.

"Did you just purr?" Lily said, her voice disbelieving.

He snorted and moved around her so that she was facing his side. He looked at her over his shoulder pointedly.

"What?"

He nodded his head towards her and then looked at his back.

"You want me to get on?" she said, her voice even more disbelieving.

He shook his head up and down in a small, vigorous movement.

"Are you sure?" she looked at him reluctantly. "That doesn't seem safe."

He turned so she could see his eyes rolling

She stared at him for a moment, appraising. He rolled his eyes again and sank to the ground, folding his legs underneath him.

She looked at him uncomfortably. "I don't know, James. People aren't supposed to ride stags."

People aren't supposed to turn into stags, either, He wanted to say, but he pawed the ground again instead.

She hesitantly stepped towards him, biting her lower lip. James restrained an amused snort at her uneasiness, but looked straight ahead patiently. She swung her leg over him and carefully lowered herself onto his back.

"Where do I hold on?" she asked aloud. He turned his head around slowly to stare at her with a patronizing look. "Never mind." She said hastily. "Sorry." She grabbed the bases of his antlers and gave him a questioning look.

He shook her hands off as a negative.

"Okay…" she wrapped her arms around his thick, furry neck. "Is that okay?" He nodded an affirmative, and when he felt her weight settle in the right place, he slowly rose to his full height and headed out of the forest.

Lily gave a small squeak of fear and leaned into him, tightening her hold around his neck. "James…" she said, sounding terrified. "I thought I didn't like brooms, but this is much scarier."

He snorted and strode a bit faster, trying to keep his gait even so not to jostle her. James transformed into a fairly large stag, but even so, it was a good thing Lily was so petite. "James!" Her knees tightened around him as he went into a trot. He ran towards the black lake, wondering what a student would think if they looked out their dormitory window. Even at Hogwarts, it wasn't an everyday thing to see a student riding an enormous stag across the grounds. Having Lily cling to him like this reminded him he had taken her for a ride on his broom back at the beginning of term. So much had changed, but they still flew over the grounds as they had then. He sprinted across the dewy grounds, comforted by the weight of Lily on his back, her legs wrapped securely around his sides. He listened to the flow of air in and out of his lungs and Lily's breath in his ear. They flew in the quiet, the only other noises being the cool wind in their faces and the clicking of his hooves over rocks and the muted thump across grass. Lily buried her face into his neck.

"This is incredible." She whispered. His stag form didn't respond to Lily quite the same way as his human body did, but he felt the thrill of desire rush through his veins all the same. He galloped on for quite some time, past the Whomping Willow, which brought up so many memories of fabulous adventures and narrow escapes. He went on, past the Black Lake, Hagrid's hut, and straight into the Forbidden Forest. "James!" Lily exclaimed nervously as he ran deep into the dark wood. "The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason!"

James wished he could speak, to reassure her. The forest contained some dangerous creatures, but if you knew where to go, it was almost perfectly safe. He slowed to a canter, then envisioned his human feet.

Ten toes.
Two long legs.
Two arms, human eyes, human ears…

Human.

And then his two legs returned and Lily was still on his back, her arms wrapped around his now furless neck. She gave a small gasp of surprise as James pulled Lily around him and into his arms, lost his balance, and went toppling backwards onto a conveniently grown patch of soft moss. He landed on his backside, his legs folded, with a heavy thwomp. James looked at Lily's startled face and wide emerald eyes as they laughed, their faces close together.

"You okay?" He shifted his body into a more upright position. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist. He expected her to untangle herself from him, but she just grinned. "Fine. You could have given me a little warning though."

He laughed. "How so? That would've taken all the fun out of it anyways." He tried not to glance down at her hands, resting on his chest. He rested backwards against the large tree trunk they had fallen in front of. "Glad we didn't hit this tree." Lily glanced up at the tough bark of the thick trunk.

"Me too." He agreed, although he knew he would've never let any harm come to Lily. It was warmer in the forest, protected from the cold air. The moon shone through the branches, casting pale light down on them.

"Full moon soon?" Lily asked also gazing up at the bright moon. He gulped at the sight of her pale slender neck, so close and exposed.

"Yeah." James sighed. "I wish I could do something."

Lily looked at him, her brow furrowed, then back at the moon. Her voice was measured and a little too casual when she spoke again. "So… why exactly did you become animagus?"

James opened his mouth wordlessly, his mind racing. Should he tell her? She was still Lily Evans; head girl. He didn't want to get the marauders in trouble with Dumbledore, or worse, the Ministry of Magic. What they did was admittedly reckless and dangerous, and definitely punishable by expulsion from Hogwarts. Apparently his worries were unnecessary, though. He didn't need to tell her anything.

"You go out with him don't you?" She said, the statement not really a question. "Every full moon you transform with him."

Apparently his expression was answer enough, because she took his silence as an affirmative.

"James Potter." She said in awe, looking into his eyes with smoldering intensity. "You are the most foolish, reckless, brave, and loyal man I have ever had the misfortune to meet."

He noticed that with every adjective she used, her chin tiled upwards, inching her lips up closer to his.

His heart pounded against his ribs beneath her fingertips. He tried to move, but he was frozen, his eyes locked on hers. She leaned her body even closer to him, her head tilting ever so slightly to the side, her full lips tantalizingly parted, just daring him to fill the space with his own.

She was so close; even in the moonlight he could have counted her long, auburn eyelashes

One.

She was even closer still; he could see every tiny freckle on her light, cheeks.

Two.

Reflected moonlight flecked silver into her eyes, accentuating the exhilaration that simmered barely underneath the surface.

Three.

Suddenly he couldn't stand the tension anymore, and he closed the space between them in a fraction of a second. Their lips touched, sending adrenaline rushing through his veins. Her lips tasted like the most plump, sweet summer raspberries; her hands were hot around his neck like rays of the scorching sun, burning, blazing, unstoppable. Their lips moved together, soft, slow, and gentle, but with a smoldering passion.

One of his hands moved to her jawbone and gently cradled her face closer to his own, the other's fingers knotted into her sweet smelling hair.

It was hard to distinguish his body from hers, the connection between them was so strong it blurred the lines of their identities. Her legs tightened around his waist; her fingers lingered on his neck, curling into his hair; they traced along his chest and arms, igniting a blaze along his skin like he'd never felt before.

When her teeth brushed the inside of is bottom lip, his hands slid down her face to her slender, arching neck and arms, coming to rest on her hips. He pulled her closer to him with what was probably unwise aggression, but she didn't seem to be bothered by this. Her chest pressed against his, closing the already minimal space between them. Their lips danced, gracefully, perfectly, sending electricity through every vein in James' body. She let out a barely audible moan as James' tongue lightly brushed against the lower rim of her mouth. He was painfully aware as her hand inched up to the collar of his sweatshirt and yanked it closer to her to intensify the kiss. Her other hand slid down to the hem of his sweatshirt and slid under it, the light caress of her warm fingertips causing his stomach muscles to tense and his breath to hitch in his throat. Their lips came apart when they could no longer breathe, at which point James found his own lips trailing away to her throat, kissing the soft and supple skin beneath her ear, at the base of her neck.

"James!" she gasped, her breathless voice fueling the fire burning in his veins. He let his teeth graze her collarbone, causing her entire body to quiver against his.

"James." She said again, struggling to put authority into her tone. She took his face in her hands and drew away from him.

He pulled his lips away from her throat to look her in the eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes wild. "Please" she breathed, beginning to untangle her limbs from his. Her breath came in jagged gasps. "I just—" she shook her head as James watched her pull away sadly.

She got off of him and rested her back against the tree beside him, pulling air in through her nose and out through her mouth with steady concentration, leaving a good amount of space between them. She closed her eyes, her hands balled up into fists in her lap.

"Sorry." James said meekly, also trying to keep his body in check.

She shook her head as a wide grin slid onto her face, her eyes still closed. "I'm not." He felt his expression mirror hers, an uncontrollable, wild smile, taking over his face as she turned to look at him. She still had that untamed, sparkling look in her eyes. "I just—" she looked up at the moon. "It's easy to loose control around you, and I – just want—to be careful." She looked suddenly uncomfortable.

James slowly reached out and put his hand over hers, which immediately uncurled and rested in his. She looked down at their entwined fingers, a contemplative look on her face.

"I won't let you do anything you regret." He promised her sincerely.

She looked up and smiled warmly. "I trust you." She replied, her eyes earnest. "I just don't trust myself."

"That's a little backwards, isn't it?" He chuckled.

"I suppose." She shrugged, staring off into the forest.

"Don't worry Lils." He looked at her intently. "I'd like to do things properly."

She frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean-" he felt very uncomfortable all of the sudden. "I wouldn't want to do anything I would ashamed to tell my parents." He faltered, feeling awkward. "I mean, unless I were, you know, married or something."

She gave a very un-Lily-ish giggle, then clamped her free hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry." She said repentantly. "I just… did not expect that from Quidditch star James Potter, fangirl extraordinaire."

He chuckled. "Well, I'm really just James Potter, a guy who likes Quidditch and is singly crazy about a girl named Lily Evans." He pulled at the string of his hoodie, discreetly checking his pulse. His heart was still going wild after their kiss. Merlin. He had just kissed Lily Evan. And she'd been the one to initiate it. What universe was this?

She smiled brilliantly at him. "You know, I'm pretty crazy about you too." She admitted, "Otherwise, I wouldn't be out here, in the Forbidden forest in the middle of the night.

He checked his watch. "It's hardly the middle of the night Lily. It's not even twelve o' clock yet."

"Still past my bedtime." She shrugged.

"Oh, please." He rolled his eyes, getting to his feet and pulling her up with him.

"Are we going back now?" Lily asked, smoothing her clothes out.

"Well I have to get you in bed, now don't I, grandma?"

She gave him a strange look.

"Oh, you know what I meant." He rolled his eyes again.

"Sorry." She shook her head at herself. "After the conversation we just had, I'm hearing things a little differently."

"Conversation?" James quirked his eyebrows suggestively.

She smiled somewhat bashfully, but her eyes gleamed mischievously. "Excellent conversation, huh?"

"The most excellent." He nodded in agreement as they started their way back to the entrance of the secret passageway. They had a long walk ahead of them, as James had traversed almost the entire grounds.

They exchanged a cheerful glance.

"You know I'd never kissed anyone before?" Lily said, her voice thoughtful.

"Really?" James looked at her, surprised. "Never? What about when you were a kid?"

"Nope." She shook her head. "When I was younger I mostly hung out with Tuney, and my muggle friends, Joanna and Taylor… and, well, you know, Severus too."

"But nothing ever-?"

"Course not." She said hastily.

"How… why did you become friends with him, really?" James said inquisitively. "Not to be brusque, but… wasn't he always as unpleasant as he is now?"

She gave a small laugh. "No, he was never foul to me when we were kids. I always admired him for being so good to me even though he was raised in the worst home. His parents were really awful, but he was still so kind, protective, and supportive."

James frowned, trying to imagine Snape as kind or supportive. He really couldn't. Protective, yes. He knew all too well that Snape was still incredibly protective of Lily. The slight, but steady throbbing in the back of his head reminded him of that much. She seemed to have that effect on people rather strongly. He wasn't sure why; she was a more than capable witch and could easily defend herself. But something about her made him want to shield her, guard her from any harm that might possibly come her way. Apparently it was the same with Snape.

"I know it's hard for you to believe." Lily said, seeming to read his mind. "But he was always that way with me. Only me though. I could never quite seem to figure out why." She looked into the distance pensively.

He just looked at her expectantly.

"But to answer your question…" she said slowly, "How, I mean, I came to be such good friends with him… When I first met him, he brought me the best news I had ever heard. I was a witch! And not the nasty type of witch Tuney thought of when he told me," She gave a sad chuckle, "but someone privileged with special, undeserved abilities, with a ticket into a magical world full of wonder and excitement. I was elated. Of course I wanted to be around him after that. Even though my overbearing older sister didn't like him very much, the desire to know more about who I was and the world I had entered was more powerful than my anxiety about what my sister thought about him. Of course we became friends. We explored our abilities together, and he told me so much about this universe that I could hardly believe was actually real. At first, we talked endlessly about Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic, dragons, sphinxes, and hippogriffs, what wizards and witches did for work after they finished school, how they traveled around, and just the way they live with magic available to them. We also talked about blood status and what it meant." She paused for a moment. "He told me it didn't matter that I was muggleborn." She shook her head, breathing deeply. "And I believed him."

The venom in her voice burned just below the surface. She felt betrayed and lied to, that much was obvious. But it was also obvious that she still cared about him. Not the way he cared about her, but in her own way.

"But after we had exhausted topics of magic, we talked about other stuff. We would just lie in the grass at the park and talk for hours." She laughed weakly at some old memory. "My mum banned me from watching the telly for a week once because I was with him for so long and she thought I'd been kidnapped. But…" She drifted off for a moment, seeming to internally debate with herself. "he told me about his parents and how they argued all the time, and how sometimes his dad would hit him and his mom would try to stop him, and he'd hit her too." The words came out all in a rush, like she'd wanted to say them for a long time. "Sometimes he showed up outside my bedroom window, crying, his face black and blue. I always wanted to tell my parents, but he never let me. He said that his dad would hit him more if he found out, and I was scared that he was right." She choked up a little, and hurriedly wiped her cheek. "It was terrifying for me, to see him like that and not be able to do anything about it. I just wanted to help so badly."

James squeezed her hand encouragingly. She'd talked about Snape before, but never in so much detail. It helped him understand a little, why Snape was so bitter, why he was the way he was. But it still didn't excuse his behavior and his ridiculous obsession with the Dark Arts. And nothing excused wanting to kill off muggleborns and take charge of muggles. Nothing. James could sympathize, but he could not empathize. He could not understand how Snape could hurt Lily the way he had. No decent person could do that to someone like Lily, so kind, innocent, genuine and deep down, pure and whole.

"So we talked a lot. And through his troubles, and our mutual excitement over being a witch and a wizard, we became best friends. He was good to me, James, I swear it." Lily said earnestly, her eyes pleading as they looked into his. "I know you think I'm a fool for having a soft spot for him, still, after all he's said to me, but he wasn't always that way."

"I don't think you're a fool, Lily." He replied softly. "I understand. He carved a hole in you just for him when you were kids, and it hasn't completely healed. It's not your fault that you still care."

She gave a watery smile. "I – thank-you James."

"I still don't like the bloke." James said lightly, smiling. "And he really is a greasy git."

She choked a laugh, wiping more tears away. "I know. How can you love someone, but dislike them at the same time?"

He shrugged casually, though his heart ached at her words. "It's definitely possible. For example, you disliked me for years, but you actually loved me the whole time."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Sure, sure."

"You know it's true!" he teased.

"There's always been a part of me that really resented him, though." Lily said, her voice hardening. "He's the reason Tuney hates me. And I don't like to blame people for things that happen, but if he hadn't treated her the way he had… if he hadn't suggested reading that letter from Dumbledore to her… if he hadn't mocked her for being normal, if he hadn't made that branch fall on her that one day…" Her eyes were distant, thinking about a day far in the past. "I think things would have been different. If I just would have found out the normal way, well, how muggleborns usually find out, if Dumbledore would have just come to my house and explained calmly to me and my parents… I don't think Tuney would hate me so much. She might have still been jealous, but she probably wouldn't feel so… I don't know, un-special… resentful… jealous." She pursed her lips sadly. "I did always hold that against him, in a way. So even if things weren't the way they are, with him, you know, wanting to kill me and everything, we could never be more than friends."

James shook his head at her weak attempt at humor. "He doesn't want to kill you, Lily. He still loves you too." It pained him to say it, but it was true.

She looked at him, her eyes passionate. "James," she said seriously.

"Yes?"

"You're my best friend, you know that, right?"

He grinned. "Alice wouldn't be happy to hear that."

She cracked a grin back at him. "I know, so don't tell her I said that. But really, you are. I'm so glad I can trust you, and talk to you about all this stuff. You have no idea how long I've been wanting to get that off my chest."

"You're my best friend too, Lils." He said, beaming. "You really are my favorite girl in the whole world. Always have been."

They walked across the grounds in silence for a while, both of them deep in thought.

"Thanks for telling me all of that." James said after a time. "It's good to know everything, to understand you, and him, a little better."

"Thank you for listening." She replied, the words heartfelt.

"You know I'll listen anytime."

"I know." She smiled brightly at him. "You're an excellent listener."

"I try." He shrugged.

"So." Lily said, her voice suddenly changing from serious to speculating curiosity. "Padfoot and Wormtail?"

James chuckled. "I was wondering when you would ask about that."

"Does Peter really turn into a worm?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "No!"

"Well what does he turn into, then?" She asked, her brow furrowed.

"Have another guess."

"Er…"

"A rat." James supplied.

"You're joking." She looked at him disbelievingly.

"Nope." He popped the P loudly.

"For real? A rat?"

"Yup." He grinned at her reaction.

She made a face. "It just… it kind of… fits."

He fell into another fit of laughter. "Don't let Peter hear you say that!" He warned as his laughter subsided.

"But it really does." She frowned, clearly troubled. He even has the protruding teeth…"

"I know." He grinned.

"And Padfoot?" She asked curiously.

"The Grim."

"The what?" Her eyebrows knit together.

"The Grim, from Divination." He grinned.

"He turns into the Grim?"

"Basically."

"He turns into an omen of death?" She clarified, confused.

"Yes. He jokes that it reflects his deadly good looks."

Lily rolled his eyes. "Of course he does."

"I always say that if our animagus forms reflected our looks, he would be a platypus, but he disagrees."

"So he's like, a big, black dog?"

"Enormous."

"So you turn into an enormous stag, Sirius turns into an enormous dog… does Peter turn into an enormous rat?" She made a face.

James laughed again. "Ehh, not really. I think mine and Sirius's forms are so big because we're both naturally so tall. Peter's pretty short and stout, so as a rat, he's pretty… short and stout.

Lily laughed. "Poor Peter."

Lily interrogated him about their transformations as they traversed the grounds in the moonlight. "Does it hurt when you, you know, change?"

"Not too much," He replied. "It did the first time. I think I'm just used to it now."

"When exactly did you transform the first time?" she inquired.

"Sometime in the middle of fifth year."

"How long did it take you to figure it out?"

"Best part of three years." He said thoughtfully. "We found out about Remus's… condition toward the end of our first year, and we came up with the idea when we started our second year. And then it took a while to actually start working on the plan."

"I can't believe you were already so troublesome when you were barely twelve years old." Liy rolled her eyes toward the heavens.

He shrugged. "It's a gift."

"Well this explains how you know the grounds so well." She said broodingly.

"You know what?" James said suddenly.

"What?" Lily looked at him.

"I just realized how well you reacted to the fact that me and two of my mates have been running around Hogwarts with a werewolf as illegal animagi for the past two years."

She raised her eyebrows, her lips thin.

"Would it really matter if I disapproved?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Well, you could always turn us in to McGonogall."

" I would only do that if I wished you a slow and painful death." She replied offhandedly.

He chuckled. "I appreciate that."

"So make sure you don't do anything that causes me to wish you a slow and painful death, or you're in trouble."

"How sweet." He said dryly.

She laughed and put her hand in his, a gesture that seemed as natural as a cool breeze wafting through the branches of a willow. The walked in silence for a while, admiring their surroundings. The grounds were still beautiful in the dark, although everything appeared slightly monochromatic in the shadows of the night.

"Hey, we're almost there already." Lily said, surprised, as they approached Hagrid's wood cabin.

"Yep, nearly there."

"Sorry." Lily apologized suddenly. "I think I talked the whole time."

James grinned at her. "It's okay, I'm glad you did."

"Me too." She grinned back at him. "It's kind of a new sensation, having someone know everything. Even Alice doesn't know all of that."

James felt his eyebrows involuntarily vanish into his hair.

"So feel special." She commanded, grinning.

"I do." He grinned back, his eyes locked on hers. As the words slipped from his lips he felt an overwhelming sense of knowing, knowing that one day he would speak those words again in an entirely different situation, but once again to the perfect girl in front of him, the only girl he'd ever loved. "I definitely do."

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