TextualHealing, a naruto fanfic

Title:

Author: ObsessiveBrunette

Rating: T

Pairings: SasuSaku

Summary: (Insert winkyface here). In which Sakura gets a new phone and Sasuke's thumbs are just too damn big. SasuSaku.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Or Sasuke. Or Sakura.

Monday

Sakura picked at her french fries, sopping wet and pissed as hell.

Sasuke wisely chose not to comment.

Naruto, however, was not as smart. "What happened to you?" he asked, not even trying to conceal his smile.

Sakura just glared at him. "None of your business!" she snapped.

Muttering something under his breath about 'PMS', Naruto grabbed the seat across from Sakura and started happily chatting with Sasuke about the chemistry final. Or, he tried chatting with Sasuke about the chemistry final. Sasuke just grunted in response.

The stoic boy turned to Sakura.

Still wet. Still upset.

Sasuke had always been good at rhyming.

He merely raised one eyebrow in a what's-got-your-knickers-in-a-twist sort of way.

She sighed. "I dropped my phone in the toilet."

Naruto snickered. "AW MAN, AGAIN?"

This caused Sakura to knee him in the groin, much to Sasuke's amusement.

Tuesday

"I can't take it!" Sakura whined, a desperate look on her face.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"I've gone 24 hours and 16 minutes without my phone! Without sending a text message!"

Sasuke just looked annoyed. "Get a grip. There are children in Africa starving to death, and you haven't even touched your fried green beans. It's not like you're experiencing post-traumatic shock and are incapable of chewing."

Sakura wrinkled her nose. "No one asked you," she said snootily, but she ate every last bite, no matter how bad they tasted.

Sasuke smirked.

Wednesday

"ERRRRRRRRGH!"

Neither Sasuke nor Naruto bothered to comment on Sakura's sudden outburst. It's not like they didn't know what it as about.

"EEEERRRRRRRRRRRGGH!" Sakura repeated, clearly irritated with the boys' lack of interest.

Naruto and Sasuke grinned to each other, and then started an animated discussion of last night's Glee. Oh, so manly.

Sakura was getting very frustrated. She screeched yet again, much to a certain boy's annoyance.

"Would you cut that out?" Sasuke barked. "You sound like you're constipated."

That shut the girl right up.

Thursday

Sasuke and Naruto watched Sakura with mixed expressions.

Naruto looked like Christmas had come early.

Sasuke looked like Santa had brought him coal.

Across from them, Sakura sat with a pitiful expression on her face. "Help meeeeee!" she croaked.

For Sakura's hands were obviously having some problems. She appeared to be having finger spasms.

"What the-" Sasuke began in a horrified tone.

"Hell!" Naruto finished gleefully for him.

"I haven't texted in three days! My fingers are having spastic tendencies! I need my phone!"

"Then go buy another one." Sasuke said, always the voice of reason.

"I did, but it won't get here until tonight! That's still another 8 hours, 52 minutes and 48 seconds!"

"47!" Naruto added happily, ever the optimist.

Sakura was not amused.

Friday

Sakura skipped up to the lunch table, humming a peppy song under her breath and toting a huge smile on her face.

"It came!" she exclaimed, proudly showing her boys the sleek new cell phone.

"Finally!" Naruto said, just as Sasuke uttered "About time."

"Well? Let's see it then, Sakura-chan!" Naruto chorused, glad to have the happy go lucky version of Sakura back. The past four days had been a nightmare. He reached to grab the sleek new phone from her hands.

Sakura slapped it away. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she shrieked. "DON'T EVER TOUCH MY PHONE EVER!"

As she stomped away, poor Naruto was left scratching his head and pondering what puberty had done to his beloved Sakura-chan.

Saturday

Ring…

"What." Sasuke deadpanned, glancing at the clock. Three in the morning. Typical Sakura.

"Hi Sasuke! I was just calling you because I wanted to practice using my new phone! Isn't it great?"

"…No." he hung up.

Ring…

"Hey Sakura-chan! What's up?"

This was the difference between Naruto and Sasuke in a nutshell.

"Naruto! Thank God someone's in a good mood. Sasuke was all pissy with me earlier!"

"What a bastard!" Naruto retorted.

On the other line, Sakura grinned. "See, this is why you're my favorite."

Ring…

"What do you want, Sakura?" Sasuke demanded, mentally sending her the Uchiha Death Glare (patent pending).

"First of all, stop glaring at me like that!" Sasuke smirked.

"Second of all, I know you don't like my phone, so I'm going to show you how fantastirific it is!"

Smirk off.

"That's not necessary, Sakura." Sasuke said, in what he hoped was an even voice. At the prospect of spending any extended time with Sakura and her new obsession, Sasuke didn't even comment on his friend's use of the word fantastirific.

"Nonsense! I know you're intimidated by the amazingness of my cell, and you're worried it's replacing your spot in my heart," Sasuke snorted, "But I think if you gave it a chance you'd really like it!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"NO."

"YEEEEEEEEEES!"

"Fine, but only if you shut up."

"Great!" Sakura chirped. "When you're ready, I'm waiting in your driveway!"

That creeped Sasuke out a little.

Sasuke was going to kill himself. Or maybe Steve Jobs. The iPhone 4 (with Siri!) was ruining his life.

"See? Just say something to it!" Sakura shoved the phone in his face expectantly.

The raven-haired boy raised an eyebrow. "You're a retard and this isn't going to work."

"Sasuke, that's not very nice," said a mysterious female voice.

That was the day Sasuke started to believe in ghosts.

"Temple Run is like, the best thing since sliced bread!" Sakura made goo-goo eyes at her phone screen, while Sasuke hit his head against the wall. Repeatedly. That hurt, though, so he tried a different approach. Actually showing interest.

He peeked at the screen. "Holy crap, what's chasing you?" he asked, boyish curiosity in his eyes.

Sakura didn't even hesitate before saying, "Evil demon monkeys! They're my new favorite animal!"

"Let me see!"Sasuke grabbed the device from her, and picked right up where Sakura left off. Or, well, tried to.

Sasuke was not very good at Temple Run.

Growling in frustration, Sasuke exited the app.

"Hey, I'm going to use the bathroom quick, okay?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Sasuke waved her away as he scrolled through her contacts. She had a bazillion! In his phone, Sasuke had only three contacts: Naruto, Sakura, and his mother.

An evil grin blossomed across Sasuke's features. He could definitely have some fun with this…

Why were his thumbs so damn big? Sasuke had tried sending Lee, Sakura's creepy stalker, a text telling him to 'meet me at the local crackhouse tonight for our date:),' but had ended up with 'mewsegt nme art thgwe kplovfdcal '.

Sasuke had some anger management issues, believe it or not.

"Stupid phone…" he muttered. "You're not so great. I bet your camera can't even zoom in!" He tried to tap on the camera app, but accidentally hit Pictures instead. Damn thumbs.

He was about throw the iPhone away in disgust when he got a glimpse of Sakura's pictures. Actually, he got a glimpse of more than just her pictures (insert winkyface here).

Sakura looked really good naked.

Sasuke could feel his hormone levels rising as he examined the picture. Oh, the camera could definitely zoom in!

He had never been so happy to be wrong.

His eyes followed every contour of Sakura's body, and he was only snapped out of his reverie by a faint and timid voice coming from the bathroom.

"Um… Sasuke?" Sakura asked nervously.

"Hn?"

"Could you, possibly, bring me some toilet paper? Please?"

Sasuke's eyes lit up. He was going to bring her a lot more than toilet paper.

"Sure," he said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Oh, and Sakura?" he called.

"Yeah?"

"I love your phone."

A/N: I had nothing better to do on Super Bowl night, me having no interest in the sport and all, so I typed this up! Not my best work, but I like how it turned out. So… R&R? Thank you!