I don't own How I Met Your Mother. If I did, either Robin or Victoria would be the mother. I haven't decided who I like more, yet…

The people swirl around her, but she remains still on a seat against the wall. She doesn't know a soul at this party, or so she thinks – she highly doubts anyone she knows from the days she lived in New York before were here. She's not entirely sure whose party this is. She's had a major burst of activity in her bakery, with so many orders so suddenly that they've all molded together.

Her name's Victoria, and she's only been back in New York City for three months after Germany.

She glances around the room, absent mindedly swirling her drink, and honestly, it's like déjà vu.

She meets Ted's eyes across the room and smiles. "Ted?" she mouths in astonishment.

"Victoria?" he mouths back. He stands up and hurries over to her. "Cutting straight past the obligatory small talk," he says when he arrives at her side, "I'm sorry."

She surveys him quietly before she shrugs. "It's okay, I guess. I really haven't thought about it in a while. I haven't thought about most of it in a while." Lie. She's wondered about getting in contact with Ted since she got back in New York, but never quite decided. Well, actually, considering she had three months to decide, she's probably actually decided not to call him but just didn't have the heart to admit it. Even if that's true, it's still good to see him.

"Are you sure?" he persists. "I feel really terrible, and I'm not going to stop apologizing until I'm absolutely certain that you've forgiven me. Maybe even then." He gives her a small, slightly crooked smile that she had found adorable back when they were dating.

Actually, she still finds it adorable now. Damn it.

"It's really nice to see you again, Ted," she tells him, "but I should really get back to the bakery. My assistant didn't do the dishes." She pauses. "I'm my assistant." He laughed.

"I'll come. I'll wash the dishes." She opens her mouth to object. "It'll help me atone for what I did. Kind of." She promptly closes her mouth.

"Alright," she says finally. "God," she mutters to herself, quietly, "it's like the beginning of a bad porno."

Ted leaves after the dishes are finished and they've completely caught up. There was no relapse. They did not make out. Victoria feels proud of herself for that, considering the whole 'my emotions for Ted are coming back, oh no' thing.

It helps he mentions Robin once or twice. Apparently, she was with him at the party. As a friend.

Apparently, he also forgot about her in favor of Victoria. And so Robin had been left without a ride, much to her disgust.

In some ways, it's a bit like karma. But Victoria feels horrible thinking that.

She sits at a café she used to love, back before Germany. It must have gotten new owners or something, because they've gotten really very bad since she left. She sips again at her latte and makes a face. She really has to go find another coffee shop. The only other one she could think of off the top of her head was the one that…

But no. That had the crazy Chloe person who had always given her the creeps.

She was abruptly pulled out of her thoughts by a "Hey, Victoria!"

She looks up. It's Ted.

"What are you, stalking me?" she jokes.

"Lily said she saw you here," he shrugs. "I thought I'd come down and say hi."

"You're wet."

"It's raining outside." He shrugs again.

"Well," she says decisively, "how about we ditch here, and go somewhere else. The lattes suck." She pulls out her bright yellow umbrella and undoes it with a clip.

Ted grins. "Alright. Where do you want to go?"

She hums as she thinks. "Well, there's this café I'd like to try, but one of the waitresses creep me out. She's got something crazy about her eyes."

"…Is her name Chloe?" he asked.

"Yeah. Do you know her?"

"You could say that. She doesn't like me much. Or Marshall, anymore. Or Lily. Especially not Lily…" Ted shuddered at the memory.

"I sense a story," observed Victoria.

"It's a long one. Well, not really, but there's backstory. So, shall we go try this café, and you can protect me from Chloe and I'll protect you, and then I'll tell the story?"

Victoria smiles. "Okay." She takes his outstretched hand.

And kids, there's the story of not only how I met your mother, but how I dated her, then cheated on her, then met her again.

And then we got married, had you gu – but that's another story. Do you want to hear it?

"NO!"