Beta'd by myself, couldn't find one.

Genre: Humour

Pairing: Arthur/Gwaine/Merlin, Arthur/Viviane (one-sided), Gwaine/Elena (friendship)

Notes: Written for writing challenge community. Bonus challenge 6, Karaokee.

Merlin's not sure why he was on a triple date with Arthur and Gwaine. Actually, that's a lie. He knew exactly why he was there. Let it be said, that both of his friends were not adverse to dirty tactics. This fact pointed itself towards Gwaine…Arthur when it suited him.

First off, Arthur was on this date because Vivian had finally manage to cajole him into one, with the additional helpful influence of her father, a well-established business partner to Arthur's father. Therefore, Arthur drags Gwaine into the date by lying to Vivian. His wonderful excuse was that he wanted to hang out with a dear friend who was coming into town. Unfortunately, Vivian somehow knew Gwaine and decided her friend would be a perfect match for him.

(Merlin would like to now point out the fact that Vivian knew Arthur was trying to wrestle his way out of the proposed date and ignored the rejection quite well).

As for Merlin's part in this, he got dragged into it under the guise that his date didn't show up, leaving him as the evening's fifth wheel. The actual facts are that Arthur called him with a plan, where Merlin would come fetch the two of them from their dates, with Arthur throwing a big fuss once Merlin stepped into view. Yet, Gwaine seemed to have made his own plan and told his date Elena that Merlin would show up with his own. When the suppose date didn't show, Gwaine was hoping him and Arthur's would go off to comfort Merlin in a show of male solidarity, thus the evening events would dissolve.

(Merlin would like to point out that there are factors of communication that need to be worked out between the three of them).

This is how he gets to be the fifth wheel. And if he has to suffer through this evening, Merlin thought he might as well enjoy Arthur's torture. Because Arthur didn't really enjoy Vivian's attention all that much, as her disposition as a spoiled princess and excluding the matter that Arthur would rather kiss all the boys, Vivian could be a burden to bear.

So it seemed the plans for the date night was at a karaoke bar, where Merlin finds himself getting more twitchy as the night continued on. As Vivian predicated, Gwaine got along smashingly with his Elena, though Merlin could see they were obviously going to be great friends rather than lovers. So as Gwaine and Elena making lewd comments in every direction they could, Gwaine's mission to abort the date was scrapped.

For Arthur, he clearly underestimated Vivian tenacity to stay blissfully ignorant. Arthur and Merlin were not the greatest actors. In fact, they weren't. So how Vivian managed to stay completely deluded to the fact that Arthur was trying to find a reason to leave was a mystery.

It was really more suffering for Arthur, who had to endure Vivian singing him just about every love song the bar had. Merlin's sure no one in the bar quite knew what to think of Vivian singing Céline Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On,' because she seemed quite serious about it.

Gwaine and Elena took the piss out of it. Elena getting up and singing Peaches 'Boys Wanna Be Her' seemed appropriate of her character as she punched the air and made phallic gestures with the microphone. Gwaine feeling himself up and flipping his hair to Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' gave the whole bar a great laugh.

(Merlin would like to point out that Gwaine was obviously not a virgin, he would know from experience).

And Vivian pushed Arthur to sing a song. It was probably the most unenthusiastic rendition of Aerosmith's 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing,' which Vivian had chosen for him.

Merlin on the other hand felt rather shunted off to the side. Gwaine was too busy with his new friend, and admittedly they'd make a great pair if either were incline. Arthur had Vivian to contend with. The entire night he had no one to talk with and in a fit of rage at being constantly ignored, despite Gwaine and Arthur's best efforts, Merlin had stomped on stage without choosing a song, took the microphone and began to sing a song by an acappela group.

Of course, he simply sang the words to The Peanut Butter and Jelly Song, but it seemed have the desired effect of endearing the whole bar to him. And much to Arthur and Gwaine's displeasure, some interested men.

Either way, the night ended with Arthur escaping Vivian's grasp, and Gwaine left with Elena's contact info to hang out some time. Yet, the night wasn't over because Gwaine and Arthur saw fit to punish Merlin for flirting with the other men.

(Merlin would like to say that the men had shown clear interest to him the rest of that evening, and he couldn't possibly be blamed).

Despite the event of some horrendous singing and a possible repeat if Vivian wanted another date, Merlin got to spend the night sandwich between his two favourite people. That's right after Gwaine held him hostage as Arthur stripped him of his clothing, they both carried him to bed and…it was a really good night.

(Merlin will admit that he may have started singing the song constantly on the way back home to remind them that they owed him big time).