Rider's Bane

Hi guys, its me, eragon4ever. I don't have much experience with writing fanfiction, so would you please review and maybe give me some criticism or feedback, that is, if you can find the kindness within your heart to do so. (jk) So, I hope you enjoy my first story, Rider's Bane. I will try to update tr1-weekly, maybe even a little more frequently than that if my schoolwork and personal schedule allow. So roll down your socks, grab a plate of bacon, and enjoy. (by the way, the battle isn't very detailed, the reason for that will become apparent later in the story)

Chapter 1: Evil in the Air

"Fall back!" shouted an unfamiliar voice. Eragon searched for the source of the order, but it was impossible to locate any one person within the turmoil of the battle. However much he wanted to stay and fight, he knew that retreat was the best option at this point.

Saphira! he shouted mentally.

Yes, little one? she replied.

We've been given the order to retreat! he informed her as he narrowly dodged an arrow.

Very well, she said, and let out a mighty roar, but I can see no reason for it.

Saphira, he chided as he parried a blow, you know we've lost far too many troops to continue the attack. Besides, we-

"Shadeslayer! Shadeslayer!"

Eragon pivoted to see the page whom he had been interrupted by running towards him at a breakneck pace, dodging arrows and swords the whole time.

"Shadeslayer!" he repeated as he panted wearily and struggled to regain his composure.

"What news have you for me?" he inquired of the still heavily breathing boy.

"Queen Nasuada requests your presence!" the boy replied.

"Thank you. Please tell Her Majesty that I will arrive shortly, er..."

"Bowen, sir."

"Bowen." Eragon repeated.

"Now go!" he ordered.

"Sir!"

As the boy sprinted back over the mixture of rubble and corpses, Eragon surveyed the battlefield. Bodies of soldiers from both armies were strewn about the city, houses were on fire, and still the enemy kept coming, almost to no end.

We may have lost the battle for Aroughs, but this war is far from over.

At that moment, he was interrupted for the second time that day by a large thump! as Saphira landed next to him. As he climbed onto her back, she asked,

What ails you, little one?

It's Surda. The moment I laid eyes on it, I could sense something was amiss, he said worriedly.

Aye, she agreed, it smells different than it has previous times we've been here. Something evil is afoot.

The orange and red light of dusk set an eerie mood over the entire camp as Eragon and Saphira strolled down the path to Nasuada's pavilion.

"What do you suppose she wants?" Eragon asked out loud.

I know as much as you do, little one. she replied.

When they reached the pavilion, Eragon lifted the flap and walked inside, while Saphira just stuck her head in.

"You called us, O queen?" Eragon said, kneeling, his head bowed in respect.

"Yes." said Nasuada distractedly, "You may rise, Eragon."

The Rider did as he was told.

"As you are well aware, the dragon race has been rebuilt, and a new generation of Riders has been trained, thanks to you"-Saphira snorted-"and of course you, Saphira."

They both raised their heads proudly, and Saphira puffed out her chest.

"However," she continued, "a new threat has arisen."

Eragon looked at her quizzically, and he could feel a slight sensation of disbelief through his link with Saphira. Apparently sensing the mixture of curiosity and disbelief emanating from the pair, she said,

" I suppose I will have to explain further."

They nodded their heads simultaneously.

"There have been strange...er...happenings across the land. Soldiers have been reporting, well, there is no other way to describe them, cracks."

"Cracks?" they questioned simultaneously.

"Yes." she confirmed, "But that is not all. Men have reported hearing voices from these cracks." she informed them "And only two weeks ago, at the start of the siege, strange and hideous beasts began emerging from the cracks."

Beasts? said Saphira, What manner of beasts are they?

"They are of a nature you have never seen before, Saphira. They have complete control of lightning and fire, and our armor is useless against them. What's more, our weapons have close to no effect on them at all, but we managed to kill one, but only at the cost of fifty men."

What would you have us do, my queen? asked Saphira.

"I want you to find one of these cracks, find out what caused it, and what it does."

"As you wish." the two said in unison.

There! I did it! Yay for me! I hope you enjoyed it, because my aim is to please the viewers (or readers, as the case may be). Oh, and this chapter isn't nearly as large on the computer screen as it is on paper. On paper, this chapter was almost three pages long. Anyway, see you guys later this week! I'll have another update by then, hopefully.

The lonely god reveals himself.