WHITE OUT

Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. ~From the movie An Affair to Remember

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

CHAPTER 1

She stood alone in the modest bedroom. The walls were covered with various posters of rainbows, unicorns and Tinkerbelle, along with delicate pink lace curtains draped over the windows. Picking up a picture frame she clutched it to her chest and let the tears stream down her cheeks. His warm arms then wrapped around her waist from behind; his soft breath on her neck, whispering gentle words of love.

"Let me help."

All she could do was nod as they together began the task of packing. For the most part her mind had been kept busy with all the repairs that needed to be finished, deciding what needed to be stored and what must be packed up to go with them. The weathered log walls were filled with memories that she couldn't bear to face right now and they flooded her at every turn. Saying goodbye to this cherished place was simply the culmination of her week of enduring hell on this earth.

If it wasn't for him staying by her side she would have not made it this far. His words were always kind, his patience never ending and the ring on her finger reminded her that he still wanted her after all the bad that had happened.

But, she was broken; broken in spirit, heart, mind, and soul. Her constant questions to him of why never seemed to bother him. Why would he want her now? Why was he still at her side?

It wasn't his tall slender frame, hidden muscle and strength behind that lanky stance that had caught her attention. Not even his soft curly dark hair that she could never have enough time to run her fingers through. No, every time she looked at him she was drawn to his wide mischievous smile and chocolate eyes that had melted her heart from the first time she saw him. They were eyes that never spoke of anything harsh, or judgmental, only love.

They moved from one room to another, then to another. Cleaning, packing, and getting it ready to be shut down for good. You couldn't count the number of times she had played here in all seasons; going back to before she had even learned to walk. Family vacations on the mountain were a mainstay growing up and an inherent part of her being. When her mother started having health problems they had stopped coming and it had an abandoned air to it now.

But each corner held the past like ghosts pulling at her heart. She ran her finger across the small etched marks scattered at intermittent levels from the floor up the door frame, they made her smile. Her dad had done that every summer they came up to vacation. The second set of marks stopped about waist high and elicited a new tear as she knelt down and kissed the last one. She had hoped to one day share this place and all its treasures with her own family, her own children. Her breathing hitched as the sob caught her off guard. He was instantly beside her, so attuned to her now and her needs.

"We're almost done baby."

She turned to his chest, allowing his shirt to soak up her tears. Would she ever feel normal again? Could she? Did she even want to?

Dinner time was approaching and the smell of it caught her attention. His cooking was a nice distraction and even if his coworkers didn't appreciate it, she did.

"Smells good," she said softly as she worked on drying up the tears.

He pushed her hair back, avoiding the nasty bruise on the side of her head. "Your favorite." His smile could always make her heart lift again.

She smirked, "Is the spaghetti recipe yours this time, or his?" She giggled knowing what the answer would be.

"Actually," he began, "It's his. I just added a few special touches." He winked at her.

"Special touches huh, should I be scared?"

He feigned a hurt look, "Don't trust me?"

She gave him a big hug. "Forever."

They consciously kept the conversation light over dinner. It was his eternal attempt to try and keep her spirits from falling further. Mindless distractions that he knew wouldn't cure her, but still were worth every effort. This trip up had been hurriedly unplanned and dangerously rushed. When she made the decision to get this done there had been no stopping her and since he would never let her face it alone it had turned into a long hard week for them both.

She couldn't relax. Physically she was in pain and emotionally she was spent. The cabin had been in worse shape than she remembered. Had it really been that long since the last time up? Despite it all they had worked well together and gotten a lot done.

A beeping sound distracted her from her revere and she looked to see a flashing red light on the weather radio.

"Anything we should be worried about?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I don't think so. If we head out at sun up like planned we should be able to stay ahead of the storm."

Her nod was soft. She had no desire to be stuck up here in the mountains. Their only task was to close up the cabin for the duration, not knowing if or when they would ever come back. At this point supplies were essentially nonexistent and more than that she couldn't bear the thought of lingering here any longer than necessary.

It was time to go.

They kept busy through the evening knowing that stillness brought memories and those memories brought tears. She was good at busy work too. Bruises and discomfort kept her from moving at her usual pace, but she refused to let it slow her down. The howling wind outside combined with pouring rain was a constant reminder that rapid temperature drops were on the way and soon the world around them would be buried in snow.

They say that the time between awake and asleep is the twilight of memories so real you could reach out and touch them. She turned her head to the voice, soft and singing, in the hallway. Her smile grew wide as the air filled with her sweet fragrance and tingled with her boundless energy. Instinct made her want to jump out of bed and go join the joyful laughter that resonated through the rooms of the house, but something was holding her down. There were arms wrapped around her holding her tight and not allowing her to get up. The more she struggled the tighter they became. Those precious giggles that called for her were drowned out by the sound of someone shushing her and although the voice was gentle, it angered her. It kept her from what she needed more than life itself and as what she wanted faded more and more she was drawn closer to the one who held her.

Then reality hit.

He was holding her as best he could in an attempt to keep her from hurting herself again. Her tears broke his heart, her sobs tore at his soul, and her pain screamed in his ears. When her eyes popped open and she knew where she was all her energy evaporated. Collapsing in his arms he knew this nightmare was over, but many more were to come. Getting her back home to LA was his only priority now.