Sandy hair, green eyes, freckles, and fire flashed through Lavender's mind as she packed her bag in the fading light. Finishing with sticking a forgotten pair of socks into her trunk, she closed the lid and got into bed. She tried to sleep, but she just kept seeing the same thing. Seamus. And Hogwarts, her home. The only problem was that she knew it wouldn't be the warm and inviting place it had been in previous years.

A full war had not started yet, but it was the antebellum feeling that ate Lavender up inside. She couldn't stand this, this waiting in fear that everyone constantly lived with now.

She used to believe that everything was under control. That even when things seemed bad for a while, the Ministry or something stronger would set things right quickly.

Things always seemed to fall into place for her. That was one of the things that scared her the most. For she knew that this time, she could not depend on things to just fall into place.

And Dumbledore was dead. He died, and he wasn't coming back.

At the funeral she'd cried hard, so hard, harder than she had in a long time. Dumbledore seemed like proof that there was hope. And now that he was gone, what was to become of Hogwarts? All these questions were swimming in her mind during his funeral. She felt as if she wanted to die. But Seamus had come from nowhere, and held her as she cried. She had been sobbing, him trying to be strong. Seamus always tried to be strong.

She opened her eyes and sat up. Her room was dark, but not pitch black. Her room was light blue. She remembered being at the store with her parents and her mum had wanted to paint in lavender, but she'd refused. She hated the color lavender. There were muggle and wizard pictures of her and all her friends all around her room. None of them were with Seamus. Her Gryffindor sweater and wand sat on her desk in the corner, and a large mirror with a table and chair sat to the right of it. She pulled the flowered bedsheets off of her and sat at the table and stared into the mirror.

She was beautiful. She knew she was, she'd tried hard to maintain that. Her face looked gorgeous with the natural makeup she used. Her lips were full and her eyelashes long. Her face was dewy and clear, and her eyebrows were perfectly shaped.

But she wondered if anything like that even mattered anymore. Instead of beautiful or ugly, it was dead or alive. The realization ate at her painfully.

She walked back and got into bed, feeling a little sad and mildly dreading tomorrow. She knew he'd be there. It wasn't like him to stay put when there was a fight to be had. She guessed that was one of the things that attracted her to him.

She closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, but this time darkness finally took her into a hard, forced sleep.

August 31. Tomorrow Seamus Finnigan would return to the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. And he would see his friends and talk about girls and learn about charms and potions, and go to Hogsmeade. He would be happy, he tried to tell himself, but it didn't work.

His mam had practically forbid him to go back to Hogwarts. But he'd fought her every step of the way. He couldn't just not return. Hogwarts would always be home. After everything that'd happened with Dumbledore dying, he had to return. He had to be strong.

Seamus felt a pang of sadness remembering Dumbledore. Once in his second year after he'd set his third cauldron in a row on fire, Snape had brought him straight to the headmaster. Seamus had been so scared, but Dumbledore had been kind and said that he'd known it was an accident, but that he needed to be more careful. That was the only personal conversation Seamus had had with the great man, but he clung to it. Not only was Dumbledore a great headmaster, but he'd been the symbol of safety. And sadly, Seamus thought, it'd never really be that way again.

Nothing would ever be the same.

He's there, almost looking naked without Dean at his side. She supposes she looks about the same without Parvati there. Although both are in hiding, there's no guarantee that they're safe. With less and less deaths being reported these days, nothing was certain.

He's sitting next to a fifth year Lavender thinks she knows, but isn't quite sure. Ginny and Neville are sitting together, talking in hushed tones and looking around quickly at everyone. There are so many empty compartments, it's hard to remember that it was once full of students clamoring to even get a seat. Not even the woman with the candy cart is here, she was killed two months ago.

She eventually sits down next to some girls from Ravenclaw she doesn't know. It's not like it matters anyway, no one's talking. Outside, she watches as trees fly by. The top leaves seem to scrape the dull gray sky. She looks around at her classmates. Some are nervous, staying alert and jumping every time the train wheels squeak. Some are almost sitting in a haze of sadness, coming to the realization that there are too many empty spots.

Lavender sighs and tries to read Witches Weekly, tries to imagine if purple or pink nailpolish would match better with this outfit. But for some reason, none of it seems to matter enough anymore.

She looks up to see Seamus staring at her. He smiles that crooked, Irish boy grin that makes her heart jump, but she quickly pushes it away and returns to attempting to read.

She looks away as soon as he smiles at her. He sighs. He wishes things could go back to the way they were. Back to the way it was before he'd been stupid and back when Lavender and him shared those little kisses in Hogsmeade. To go back to a time when the biggest worry was failing potions and melting cauldrons.

But he couldn't. Times had changed.

And Lavender was gone.

His chest ached watching her studiously ignore him. Because she was Lavender Brown. She was the girl with the perfect everything, and although people who didn't know her thought otherwise, she was smart. She was definitely smart, a lot more clever than she let on.

He's in her arms and Merlin, does it feel good. She leans over him, his head on her lap, and starts blotting his cheek and chin with a warm washcloth. She's frowning. He doesn't like that look on her.

When she's finished her spells, his face feels almost new again.

"Thanks." He says, trying to start up a conversation.

She just smiles, and gets up. She walks away. He's confused. Every time he gets beat up by the Carrows, she's always there to heal him. But then as soon as it's over, she bolts.

"Hey!" he says, running after her down the hallway, his ribs still aching. She turns around and faces him.

"Yes Seamus?" she says in a cool voice.

"Well… hi." he says, looking at his shoes. He's upset he couldn't think of something better to say.

"Hi." she says in that creamy tone of hers.

She looks as if she's about to say something else, but stops herself. She grabs her wrist and turns around. She walks out of the Gryffindor common room, looking both ways before she leaves.

Everyone's like this now. Living in fear, never being too cautious. That is, every one but him.

He knows people think he's got a death wish, and maybe he does. But he feels like if he endures most of the pain, he can protect the others. He feels like he has to do something, has to help in any way he can. Harry, Hermione and Ron were out fighting and he felt useless just cowering in fear, waiting for someone to save him.

She wishes he wouldn't put himself in front of everyone else. The more times she had to repair him, the more it hurt to walk away.

But she knew she had to. She couldn't afford to get hurt in times like this. She needed to stay alert, stay focused. She wishes she could push these feelings away, but all she can think about is him holding her last year… after everything that happened with Ron (which seems pretty petty now) and Dumbledore and the Death Eaters… and just everything.

She lay in bed in her empty dorm room. For some reason, this terrifies her horribly. Hermoine is gone, Parvati is gone, and the others… who knows where they are.

So she pads down to the Gryffindor common room and sleeps on the sofa, a blanket haphazardly thrown over her bare legs and a wand clutched to her face.

"Lav?" a familiar voice sounds in the morning. She wakes up and nearly curses him, but all he can do is chuckle and shake his head at her.

She knows she probably looks a mess and is aching to run upstairs and fix herself, but she has to ask,

"Shay?"

"Yeah?" He asks. He's sitting on the floor right below the couch, and it occurs to her that the fire isn't on.

"Do you think we'll make it out of this?" she asks back. It doesn't make sense when it comes out, but she knows he'll understand.

"Merlin I hope so." he says. "That's all we've got to go on, I reckon."

He smiles that smile again, and Lavender realizes that she can't deny these feelings indefinitely.

After that little conversation, they're back to talking, and Seamus can't be happier.

Things have gotten worse though. Neville and Ginny have moved into the Room of Requirement, and Seamus is considering doing the same.

Once again, he's on the floor, and Lavender comes to find him.

"Seamus, you've got to stop doing this." she scolds as she summons bandages from her bag. She always has them now.

"Ya don't understand." he manages to cough out.

"Tell me then. Do you have a death wish or something?" she says, not sure if she's joking.

"If i's me, i's not you." he chokes out. He wipes some blood from his brow, acting like it's nothing, but Lavender knows better.

But he's a Gryffindor. It's in his nature.

She says nothing. A tear falls, and she hopes he doesn't see. If he can be strong, so should she.

They're hiding in the Room of Requirement, trying to piece together scraps of information to figure out where The Golden Trio are, if they're alive, if hope isn't lost.

Neville's completely taken over the DA, and he's brilliant. But this isn't fifth year. There's no fun, no excitement… nothing. It's for survival.

"Kill them before they kill you" is their new motto, unfortunately. They need to protect themselves.

It's cold here, and many are asleep. Everyone has muffling charms around their hammocks, because almost everyone seems to have nightmares. Screaming, sweating, clawing when they wake up.

Seamus nearly jumps out of his hammock when he feels a cold hand on his arm.

"Shay, it's me." she says. He sits up and sees a crying Lavender Brown, wearing her Gryffindor sweatshirt (she was always one for house pride) and short pink sleep-shorts.

"I'm sorry, I didn't… I shouldn't have woken you up… it's just…" this is the first time hearing Lavender Brown really stutter, and Seamus is surprised it's him who's making her do it.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" she says. He smiles. Any other time he would have made some cheeky remark or something, but the way she says it, rubbing her legs to try to warm them up. He wonders why she's wearing shorts.

Then again, he isn't wearing a shirt.

He moves over, and Lavender climbs in. She knows what she's doing is dangerous because of her feelings for him, but she doesn't think she can take another night sleeping alone. It's too hard.

She moves in next to him. He feels warm against her, and he winces at her cold legs as she gets situated. He covers them with a blanket, and they're a lot closer than she thought they'd be.

Inside, he's freaking out.

Lavender Brown is in his bed. Well, hammock, but same difference.

Her soft legs are against his pajama pant legs and her head is on his bare chest. He can smell her hair and hear her soft breathing. It's like he's drowning, drowning in her.

And she's lonely, and to be honest, so is he.

Seamus wakes up the next morning to Neville standing over them. Neville is grinning, and says, "Did you finally come to your senses then?"

"What are you talking about?" Seamus hisses. Lavender looks asleep.

But she isn't.

"Haven't you fancied her? Since… forever?" He says in a kind of matter-of-fact tone.

"Well… yeah. I mean… yeah." Seamus says, hitting his head back on the hammock. It shakes a bit, but Lavender keeps her eyes shut.

"Well, why don't you tell her that?"

"I just… I dunno. Maybe this isn't the best time." He says. He gently gets out of the hammock. Lavender falls a bit, but she pretends she's still asleep.

"I don't know how much time we all actually have left." Neville says gravely. This makes Seamus' stomach twist in an uncomfortable way, but he knows Neville speaks the truth. He exits the room through the portrait to get more food from Aberforth.

"You can open your eyes now. He's gone." she hears Neville say. When she opens them, she sees Neville staring back at her, grinning. "For whatever it's worth… he really likes you. He'd kill me if he knew I told you, but he says your name in his sleep. It's quite annoying, actually."

Neville turned on his heel and went to walk away, but stopped.

"Why would you tell me this?" she asked.

"Because he's my mate. And he's too daft to recognize certain things." Neville said. He suddenly became sad. "And I think you two need each other."

Lisa Turpin wakes her up for her shift, along with Seamus. She's glad she's with him, but she's ready to punch Neville when she sees his giant smirk.

"Good luck." he whispers in her ear, as she passes.

Lavender pulls away and lightly swats him on the arm. "Oh shut up." she says, grateful for the moment of normality. She stops for a moment, considering the fact that if she'd told herself three years ago that she's be friends with Neville Longbottom, her younger self would have laughed her into next Tuesday.

They haven't talked about that night since it happened, and that was nearly a week ago. To be honest, they haven't really had the time.

He wished that Dean were here more than ever now. He wished he could talk through his confusion with Lavender, because Dean always knew more about girls, and he would tell him what to do.

"Hi." he says, sitting down next to Lavender.

"Hi." she said quietly.

They sit there in silence for a while until he feels her fingers lacing through his. She was shaking.

"Lav. It's ok." He said, trying to steady his voice. He didn't like to see her this way. She was Lavender Brown, confident and perfect. He hated to see her this small and frightened.

"It's not." she said, and exhaled. "The way we live now, the way every time I see you your face is more and more bruised, the way that the others jump at every accidental sound, the way Pomfrey has to sneak us dittany… it's not ok."

"Then it's not ok." he said, admitting the truth. "But we'll make it through. I know we will. Light will always beat the dark."

She slowly smiled. Her lips curled into it, and Seamus couldn't remember the last time he'd seen it this clearly.

He was overjoyed that he'd been the one that'd caused it.

And she turns to look at him straight on, and his heart starts beating faster than normal. She looks so beautiful this way, in the moonlight. The light clung to the light waves in her hair like glue, and her skin seemed to glow. Seamus desperately wants to kiss her.

He's so strong, and for some reason, even with all his various cuts and bruises, he looks more like Prince Charming than any of the old picture books her mother read her when she was young. She wants to kiss him badly, but stops herself. He's the only true friend she's got, and she's worried to lose him.

And he smiles back at her. He thinks of how beautiful she is, how she's resembles a light, a spark… or a fire. And Seamus has always been entranced by fire.

He can't control himself any longer. He leans toward her and cups her face.

Their lips touch and it's scorching hot on her mouth, and he can't hear a thing because of his heart pounding in his ears. And he tries to kiss her gently, but can't help himself.

And she pulls away, and Seamus feels his heart thump.

"Seamus… I can't." she says, looking away. And suddenly, she admits the truth for the first time even to herself. "I can't risk losing another person I care about."

"I'm not going anywhere." He says firmly, as if saying will make it so. She knows it doesn't, but it calms her how sure he sounds.

"D-do you promise?" She asks, feeling tears well in her eyes again. She knows she shouldn't be doing this, her brain screams that this will only cause more pain.

"I promise." He says. "I love you." And she's a Gryffindor, she's always relied on her heart a little more than her brain anyway.

And she throws her doubts to the wayside now. Because she doesn't know if she'll survive tomorrow. She doesn't know if he'll survive tomorrow.

"I love you too." She whispers. He smiles at her with that hopeful smile, and she knows she's done.

She attacks him, grabs the back of his neck and brings his lips to hers. And he deepens the kiss, unlatches his hands, and brings them to holding her hips.

He kisses her harder, deepens it. He wants to remember how this feels, because it's the best feeling he's had in a long while.

And Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are back and suddenly things go from 0 to 100. Teachers are running, students are desperately trying to prepare themselves for the coming battle and the younger years are being escourted out of the castle.

Everyone is preparing for battle.

Seamus grasps Lavenders hands, and their eyes meet.

They both know that they're terrified. But both want to be strong for the other.

But the battle starts, and both being true Gryffindors, split up to fight. They fight for their school, their friends, and their family… for love… for light.

And Seamus hears a loud, clipped "NO!" and he sees a Death Eater he knows are Greyback get blasted away somewhere.

He runs to see who's been hurt, but stops short when he sees who it is.

There, laying on the cold, Hogwarts floor is Lavender Brown. He runs, pushing past Ron and Hermoine, and falls next to her.

He looks into her eyes, but they have no sparkle. They have no light, and he can't stand it.

"Lavender."

"Lavender!"

"Lavender please!"

"Please, Lavender, please! Please wake up! Lavender!"

He screams over and over, but she stays in this horrible, corpse like figure with a frozen expression upon her beautiful face.

He looks to see that her clothes have been torn apart, and there are great gashes in her skin that look like claw marks. She has a giant scar over the left side of her face, and her left arm and her back are torn apart as well.

Seamus feels a surge of anger and despair, desperately looking around for some sign of what to do. He's never really been the mature guy who knows what the right thing to do is at all times.

He decides to take her to the Great Hall, and she needs a nurse. He picks her up, dodging green lights and evil glares, his only mission is to get her safe.

He leaves her in the care of Madame Pomfrey, whom Seamus has developed a strong relationship with due to the frequency of his visits to the Hospital Wing on account of his burns.

She smiles weakly at him and bustles around trying to heal at least 3 students at once. Everything is chaos, and now all that seems clear to Seamus is revenge.

He never does find Greyback, but he learns that Neville and Ron managed to defeat him, and he's sent to Azkaban.

When she finally wakes, he's sitting by her bed, mouth ajar and sleeping soundly in what looks to be a very uncomfortable plastic chair.

"Seamus." She says, her voice sounding rough and hoarse.

"Seamus?" She tried a little bit louder. He stirs, and within a few seconds is wide awake.

"Lavender!" He says, in a voice that can only be described as a mix of hope and relief. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Shitty." She says honestly. He laughs in a sort of strained way. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Everyone's ok. Parvati, and Dean too."

Everyone's ok. No, everyone was not ok, she thinks. She doesn't think any of them will ever truly be "ok" again.

But it's Seamus, and he's always been one to grin and bear it.

She catches sight of herself in a nearby mirror. She flinches at her reflection. Her once flawless face is now marred, and she stares down at her shoulder to see a large scar.

And Lavender suddenly starts to cry.

"Lav. Lavender, what's wrong?" Seamus says, panicked. He's always hated seeing her cry.

"I-I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again." She manages to say through her tears.

His heart aches and he searches for something to say.

"Well... I made a promise... didn't I?"

A/N: HI! idk how this happened, but I was reading some old fanfiction and this came out of it. it's not exactly top-notch and i'm not quite satisfied about the ending, but I'm hoping someone will find it entertaining.

also, i kind of love seamus/lavender.

so yeah. hope you enjoyed(: