Experimenting with different styles of writing. I went for a more humorous feel for this one, but I might have failed terribly.

So basically, a group of fangirls end up in the Death Note world. They find L and Light at the coffee shop and go off into a fit of fangirling while asking L and Light questions. I always find it funny how people always think they would be calm and become L's lover if they went into the Death Note world, when in reality they would probably act something like this. (Perhaps less weaboo-ish though.) BUT YOU GET MY POINT.

Now on to the story. :3

L and Light sat quietly in a little coffee shop near the Kira Investigation Headquarters. Light had suggested they go out and get some air, and L got his usual slice of strawberry cheesecake and sugar-tea, so technically it was a win-win situation. Light nibbled softly on his doughnut while L slurped rather loudly on his tea, his eyes fixed on a table across the room. At the table sat a giggly group of girls who were pointing at them and whispering loudly to each other. L glanced over at Light who seemed to have dozed off, gazing distantly out the window. L gave the girls another glance before tugging the chain that connected him to Light.

"Hm?" Light mumbled absentmindedly, dragging his gaze back to the raven-haired detective.

"Does Light-kun know these girls?" L drawled, staring at the group that was now squealing in excitement.

Light followed his gaze and furrowed his brow in confusion. "No, I can't say I do. Are they staring at us, Ryuzaki?"

L nodded. "Yes, I think so." The insomniac paused, staring up thoughtfully. "They could be a group of Kira worshipers, therefore raising Light-kun's percentage by… eight percent."

Light rolled his eyes and mumbled something about not being Kira under his breath. L, after hesitating for a moment, began to eat his cheesecake when a loud squeal erupted from one of the girls from the table.

"Omg, L's eating cake~ He's so kawaii~" a blonde-haired girl shrieked, holding her face and grinning in happiness.

L froze, dropping his fork on his plate. They knew who he was! That just wasn't going to do. L wordlessly stood and stalked over to the table in a semi-rushed manner, pulling Light out of their booth.

"Ryuzaki-"

"Light-kun should be quiet." L interrupted, his tone urgent at he reached their destination.

One of the girls literally fainted as they approached while the rest erupted into another fit of squeals.

"He's even cuter in person~"

"LOOK! He really does look like a panda!"

"Oh, don't you just want to ruffle his hair?"

"Him and Light are SO kawaii together~"

L opened his mouth, before closing it again. "I can assure you that Light-kun and I are not in any sort of relationship. I am also very interested in knowing why you called me L," he said after finding the right words. Light was blushing, looking down at his feet.

"Everyone knows who L-kun is~" a girl sang, suddenly lunging forward to hug him.

L quickly stepped backwards, causing the girl to crash into the tiles floor of the coffee shop. "Everybody knows what his title is, but no one knows him as a person," L said blankly, though secretly he was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown.

Another girl giggled. "Oh, quit playing L-chan~ We know you're L, you aren't fooling us."

A brunette reached over and tugged on L's sleeve. "Come on, sit with us! We want to ask you some questions."

"You all already know too much." L said flatly while Light just stared in half-shock.

"Oh, don't worry. You're identity is safe with us~ Now pleeeeeeaaaaaase, sit with us? Please L, Ryuga, Ryuzaki?"

L sighed, crouching in a chair at the end of the table. "I will stay for a short while, but Light and I need to leave here soon. And I will have to have several arrest warrants filed for some serious investigating."

The brunette clapped her hands together. "Don't worry, we won't take too long!"

The blonde girl held a notepad and pen, staring eagerly at L and Light who were sitting next to each other. "So! Let's start this off with some relationship questions. How long have you two been together?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively, grinning.

L blinked, keeping a blank expression. "I thought I already told you that Light-kun and I are not in any sort of relationship. Frankly, it would be dangerous to my health. What does Light-kun think on the matter?"

Light was blushing, not overly but it was noticeable. He let out a small cough and blinked down nervously. "Erm… Of course there's nothing going on between us. You suspect me of being Kira after all, so that could never work."

L nodded. "So, as you can see-"

"Aww, they're in denial about their feelings for each other~~~"

"So kawaii!"

"…"

"…"

After the blonde had calmed down, she scribbled something down on the notepad before turning to Light. "How much time do you spend on your hair in the morning?"

Light blinked angrily. "Excuse me?"

"You can't get that perfect of hair by simply just combing it out. How many hair products do you use?"

"That's none of your business-"

"Four." L interrupted.

"Ryuzaki!" Light hissed.

"Right, right…" the fan girl said, nodding. "And how much time do you spend on your hair?"

"Not long, really." Light answered.

"Light-kun, 30 minutes is quite a long time." L argued.

"Damn it, L!" Light snapped. "They're writing this stuff down."

"Which is why you should be truthful."

"I'll show you truthful when we go back to headquarters…" Light growled, folding his arms and crossing his legs in frustration.

"L and Light are gonna fight~" one of them sang. "We should get it on video."

"If any of you make attempts to follow us back, I'll arrest you on the spot." L said blankly.

One of the girl's faces twisted in a pout. "Aww!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down guys," the blonde chuckled before turning to L. "How many sugar cubes do you put in one cup of tea?"

"Fifteen." L replied monotonously.

Light raised an eyebrow. "You keep count?"

"At fifteen cubes of sugar, the tea has almost a perfect balance of eighty-five percent sugar and fifteen percent tea, making it pure bliss."

"That's disgusting, Ryuzaki." Light muttered, shaking his head.

"Light-kun, we have discussed this before. I don't constantly point out your narcissist behavior, and it's just as bad as my addiction to sweets."

"Narcissist behavior? I am not obsessed with myself."

"Please, Light-kun. You basically worship yourself."

"Do not!"

"Light-kun is being childish."

"Moving on…" the blonde interrupted, scribbling stuff down. She leaned over and whispered something to the group who, in turn, squealed and said in hushed voices, "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Fine…" the fan girl cleared her throat. "Sorry about that. Okay so, do you guys have to shower with each other?"

Light, who had been sipping tea, spit it out in a loud spurt, showering the group. "Excuse me?" he choked.

"I believe she asked if you and I shower together, Light-kun." L answered calmly.

"I know that, but it's rather personal, don't you think?"

"Not at all. Yes, Light-kun and I shower together, because I have to watch him 24/7." L rattled the handcuffs for emphasis.

"Ryuzaki!" Light exclaimed quietly.

"Again, we must be truthful, Light-kun. There's no need to be so shy."

"They do shower together!"

"Perfect yaoi couple! So kawaii!"

"Why do you skip from speaking English to speaking Japanese in mid-sentence?" L asked, his tone dull.

The all paused, giving each other questioning glances before one of them finally shrugged. "Dunno."

"We are not a yaoi couple!" Light exclaimed suddenly. "I don't see where you get these sick fantasies from."

"It is probably because we argue frequently like couples do, we are chained together, and we are both intelligent," L drawled, completely calm compared to Light's incredulous state.

"But- how do they know that stuff about us?"

L shook his head sadly. "I wish I knew, Light-kun."

The girl interrogating them smirked, before asking her next question, "Do you guys share a bed?"

"…Do you want us to be gay?" Light asked, his eyes narrowing as he clenched his fists.

"We all do, very much." the fan girl confirmed.

"I'm afraid I don't feel any attraction to either gender. I think I may be asexual." L said, breaking the girls' moment.

"But L-kun, Light is perfect for you!"

"Light-kun is Kira. I do not get in intimate relationships with Kira." L stated.

"So? You can change him!"

"So you agree Light is Kira?" L raised an eyebrow.

One of them gulped. "Err…"

Smack! A girl slapped the brunette on the back of the head. "You totally messed up the story! Now who knows how it's gonna end?"

The girl rubbed the back of her head. "Ow… Who knows, maybe now they end up together?"

"No, L's gonna throw Light in prison! Now they'll never have a chance at love!"

"…"

"…"

The turned their heads back at the silent pair, letting out nervous chuckles. "Hehehehe… Sorry about that."

"Apology not accepted," Light said flatly. "And I'm not Kira."

"But Light-kun," L started, mildly amused. "These girls have not been wrong yet. Therefore the percentage that Light-kun is Kira has risen to… Thirty percent."

"Of course," Light muttered, massaging his temple. "Can we leave now, Ryuzaki?"

"If Light-kun wishes," L replied simply, standing up from his chair. "It was your idea to leave headquarters, after all…" The detective looked up thoughtfully, resting his index finger on his bottom lip. "So technically this whole situation is Light-kun's fault."

Light narrowed his eyes. "…I wasn't joking when I said 'I'll show you truthful when we get back to headquarters'."

L raised an eyebrow. "Light-kun wants to fight me? Wanting to do harm to L is very Kira-like…"

"You say a percentage and you won't have to wait till we get back to headquarters."

The girls erupted into stifled giggles as Light and L talked. As Light and L began to argue, one of them took out a camera and snapped a picture. L was at the girl's neck as soon as the flash faded. "H-hey! L… you're choking me."

"You will delete that photo at once," L said coldly, his expression emotionless as he stared into the girl's struggling face.

Her arm shook as she held up the camera. "B-But look! You guys look like you're about… about to kiss!"

L snatched the camera with his spidery fingers and held it up to inspect it. Sure enough, the camera had snapped right when Light had gotten very close to L's face, making it look like they were about to lock lips. L blushed slightly before hastily pressing the delete button. He dropped it on the girl's stomach before crawled out of the booth.

The girl pouted. "Aww, he deleted it! They were totally about to kiss, it was so sugoi!"

Light rolled his eyes. "I was insulting him."

"In a seductive way," L said teasingly, yet blankly.

Light glared at him. "You are not helping anything."

"I wasn't trying to," L stood up, giving the chain a light tug. "We should be going. Come on, Light-kun."

Light began to gratefully head for the exit, L following. All of a sudden, L stopped them in the middle of the café, turning back to the girls. "Who are you?"

The group chatted for a moment, before one turned to them. "We're your fan base!" she cheered, grinning widely. "We love you, L-kun! You too Light-chan!"

L paused for a moment, before blankly saying, "We have a terrible fan base, Light-kun."

Not all of the fan base is terrible! D: Just the weaboo-obsessed-fangirls!

And so concludes a fail-fic by yours truly. Review how I did, so I can get better! :D I do read your reviews, even if I don't reply to them!