Okay, so this is the last chapter and, like I said previously, there will no longer be a sequel. Sorry, but I'm just not up to it and it didn't really serve as any relevance anyway. To:

everyone who ever reviewed, followed, and/or favorited this fic- Thanks so much! I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting so long.

pokes- I actually really like that idea. Here it is! :D Well, actually only part of it... But it still counts! :P

I do not own Alex Rider.

Um... Ow?

(The title was originally 'Um... Will You Take Away My Man Card if I Say Ow?', but I decided it was too long.)

Smithers was, in Wolf's opinion, disturbingly close to him. As in inside of his personal bubble. There could be no more than six inches between the two, and Smithers was rather large. No, he took that back. He was very large.

On the other hand, Smithers believed himself to be in the perfect spot, with just the right amount of space between himself and... and him. This abominable creature who dared to call himself a human being - call himself a man. Because he was most definitely not a homio sapien, let alone a man. Smithers thought about that for a couple of seconds before mentally nodding, liking it. Then he spoke.

"What did you do?" It was said in a rather low, rough voice, and Wolf had to admit it - he was scared.

"Um... I may or may not have accidentally completely not on purpose dropped this..." The SAS soldier paused for a second, thinking of the right word, before continuing on. "- uh, gadget -" Yes, that was the right word. "- onto the ground. And, um, I may not have caught it in time."

The gadget in question was, actually, one of Smithers' favorites. And it was only a prototype. As a matter of fact, it was the only gadget, and Smithers was not happy. A scowl decorated the pudgy man's face. Yep, definitely not happy.

"It was an accident, I swear!" Wolf cried, but Smithers only scowled more, observed him for one second, and then stepped back. The shorter man was sighing, thankful he got away, when it happened.

A smack! resounded throughout the room, and Wolf almost yelped only to pause. "Um, will my man card be taken away if I say ow?"

Another smack echoed the first, and Smithers almost smiled at the sound. "You're man card's already gone."

And so Wolf was slapped for the seventh time.

And that's the end. Frankly, I'll admit it - this was my favorite chapter. Thanks to pokes for the idea! More thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, and/or favorited. And thanks for reading! Don't hesitate to review, or Smithers will smack you! :P