G'day, audience! I know the marriage law plot is old and overused, but I have yet to find one that goes the way I want it to, so I've decided to make my own.
Sounds cocky, but you know how it goes – if you want it done right, do it yourself! Now I can satisfy my imagination. (:
Anyway, as I'm sure you know, I'm not JK Rowling, and therefore none of these characters are mine.
Let me know how you feel about the story and writing – reviews = faster chapters.
ENJOY!

"The owls have arrived! The owls are here!" Mrs. Weasley called out, hurriedly rushing up and down the stairs of The Burrow, banging on the various doors of her children and guests as she went. When she made her way back down to the main level, she untied five different letters from five different owls, each baring five very similar Ministry of Magic seals.

Ginny was the first to stumble down the steps behind her mother, rubbing the weariness from her eyes and letting out a wide yawn. It wasn't yet dawn and the day was already bound to be ruined. The war had ended only a few short months ago and the Ministry was wasting no time in putting it's newly-returned power to use.

"Morning, dear." Mrs. Weasley said affectionately to her daughter sitting at the breakfast table, setting a steaming mug of tea before her. Ginny grunted in response and crossed her arms on the tabletop before her.

George was next down the stairs, followed by Hermione. The two sat beside Ginny and were the next victims of Mrs. Weasley's putrid tea.

"Good morning, Hermione." Mrs. Weasley said, putting her hands on Hermione's shoulders and glancing towards the staircase down which Ron, her youngest son, and the famous Harry Potter were now descending.

As soon as the boys had joined the others and were seated around the table, Mrs. Weasley clapped her hands and let out a loud sigh.

"Now, children," she began, "I know this isn't anyone's ideal situation, but it's what the Ministry sees fit. Whatever happens, we will all still be a supportive family."

With that, she distributed the Ministry letters to each of their designated recipients.

"Alright. Who shall care to read aloud?" She asked.

Harry raised his hand tentatively, and was the first to open his envelope.

"Here goes." He said quietly, before reading his letter loud and clear.

Harry James Potter,
The Ministry thanks you for your efforts on behalf of the wizarding world during our most
recent skirmish with the Dark Lord. We extend our most heartfelt sympathies for any and
all family members or friends you may have lost within the last several years.

The population of the wizarding community has taken quite the toll, dangerously reducing
our census by nearly 60%. While we are thrilled that you are one of the surviving 40%,
it is of utmost importance that we now work together to regain our strength in numbers.
We have conducted several personality assessments and compatibility tests based on your
old school records, and have come to the conclusion that your best chance at a successful
and lasting marriage will be with:
Luna Violet Lovegood

While we apologize for any inconvenience this pairing may cause, the Ministry believes it
will be for your benefit and the benefit of the wizarding community. You and your chosen
partner are to be married before the first of the new year and are to produce at least
one (1) child within the first year of your marriage.

We hope you are happy with this new life and look forward to seeing your wedding
announcement in the Daily Prophet.

Hoping you are well,
Katrina McEllis
Department of Marital Affairs

When Harry finished reading, he shrugged his shoulders. The news of a new marriage law wasn't surprising. It was only a matter of time before the Ministry got around to pairing up the remaining witches and wizards and breeding them like rabbits. The official announcement had been in the Prophet the week before and they were all waiting anxiously to find out who their match would be.

"Luna's not bad." Harry said, somewhat relieved. "A little weird, but we get along alright."

Mrs. Weasley rubbed his back reassuringly and smiled over at Ron, who was sitting next to Harry.

"Alright, then. Shall we go around in a circle and get it done with? Who've you got, Ronald?"

Ron swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and unfolded his parchment. His eyes scanned the letter until he reached the printed name of his 'dearly beloved'.

"Bollocks." He muttered quietly, shaking his head. "They've stuck me with Lavender Brown!" He announced, crumpling his letter into a ball and tossing it across the room.

Ginny was next in line, and she smiled a little when she read the name.

"Neville Archibald Longbottom." She read proudly, folding her parchment neatly and resting her delicate hands atop it.

"That's lovely, Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley said proudly, beaming at her daughter. "You're next, Georgie."

George shot back his mother's tea as though it were firewhiskey and shook his head vigorously before turning down to his letter.

"Oy, that's not bad! Angelina Johnson! Bloody good quidditch player, that one." He said happily.

"Am I the only one who's gonna be miserable?" Ron grumbled, glaring at the room before him.

"No." Hermione's quiet voice answered, sounding as though she was choking back tears. "You're not the only one."

Everyone turned quizzically to the young witch as they awaited her announcement.

"Who'd you get, then?" Ron asked after a few moments of silence.

Hermione opened her mouth as if to answer, before clamping it shut and shaking her head.

"I can't even say it." She moaned, handing the letter over to Mrs. Weasley.

When the woman saw the name printed on the parchment, she clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Compatibility tests my arse!" She exclaimed, looking apologetically at Hermione. "Oh dear…"

"Well come on, then! Out with it!" Ginny said, frustration tugging at her voice.

When Mrs. Weasley refused to answer, Harry turned in his seat and grabbed the letter from her clutches.

A few moments passed as he scanned the parchment, but his jaw dropped when he reached the name.

"It's that sodding Malfoy!" He hollered.

The room was silent.

Yeah, yeah. First chapter is a little short. Gotta get it started somehow, though, right?