Force Bonded

Disclaimer: All characters owned by Lucas Arts.

Ahsoka spent her nights scouring the library, staying up far later than she was accustomed, trying to make sense of the war between what she knew, and what she felt. Between her heart and her head. So far she'd managed to hide her activities from the Master Archivist, Jocasta Nu, as well as prevent her fatigue from affecting her studies and training. But finally, lost in yet another data file in a hidden corner of the archive, Ahsoka succumbed to sleep.

A hand on her shoulder roused her from her impromptu nap. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was, or recognise who had woken her. Then her mind snapped into focus: she'd just been caught doing unauthorised research by none other than the Dark Woman herself! The Master Jedi was one of the most mysterious members of the Order, yet at the same time, one of the most respected by the council. She had dedicated her life to the Force, going so far as to abandon her name and become known only by the moniker that could still the mischief of any youngling. 'Behave, or the Dark Woman will be your next master!' Ahsoka had heard that she'd been in exile before the Clone Wars, and even now refused to lead a clone army like the other masters.

There had even been a rumour linking her to Aurra Sing.

"Why are you here child?" she asked, quietly. Ahsoka began to stammer out an excuse about losing track of time in her studies, but the Dark Woman would have none of it. "Don't try to dissemble with me, young one. I've watched you here for the last three nights. You are searching for an answer, to something you feel conflicted about, and your failure to find that answer is causing you much distress."

Ahsoka surrendered to the Master's insight. Her defences, already weakened by fatigue and worry, gave way with little hesitation. "Master, I think... I think I'm forming an attachment. I know that's forbidden by the Code, but how can I just shut off these feelings? I've tried to ignore them, to let them go... I've meditated for hours, seeking the serenity the Masters talk about, trying to calm this... this passion within me, but nothing works!" Ahsoka shook her head in shame and dismay, "I've spent every night since I got back to Coruscant here in the archive, trying to find something, anything, that will tell me how a Jedi is supposed to... to... " She couldn't continue, instead looking away, tears running down her cheeks.

The Dark Woman looked at the crying padawan for some time, before seeming to come to a decision. "Do you love this man, young one? Not just admire him, or lust after him, but truly love him?"

Ahsoka nodded, "If that's all it was, I don't think this would be so hard. I do admire him, and he's certainly attractive. But it's so much more than that, it's... everything."

"If he were to die tomorrow, how would you feel?"

The Padawan sniffed, "Ho..Horrible."

"If he was murdered in front of you, would you be angry? Would you want revenge?"

"I...I don't know. I'd be angry, certainly." Ahsoka frowned, concentrating, then slumped, admitting the truth to herself, "Yes. Yes I'd want revenge. I know it's wrong. I know it's of the dark side, but if Rex was murdered in front of me, whoever did it wouldn't see the sunrise, if I had any say in the matter." Ahsoka didn't realise she'd named him.

The Dark Woman cocked her head and posed a more difficult question, "And what if he wasn't murdered? What if he was ordered to his death, ordered to command a suicide mission and didn't return? Would you seek revenge on the men who gave the order? Would you turn your anger against your own Master? Against the Jedi Council?" The Dark Woman had a reputation for being harsh with her pupils: harsh in training, harsh in treatment, harsh in judgement. She believed that it was only under pressure could the true character be shown.

Surprisingly, the Padawan already had an answer for her, a calm smile gracing her features, "No. I've known since I met him that he could die that way. That he'll likely die that way. It's... what he was born and bred to do." Ahsoka's smile quirked a little as she remembered their discussions on the subject. "We've faced death so many times, both together and apart, that I've accepted it, in my head at least. Although I'm glad that I never had to face General Krell, considering what that traitor tried to do on Umbara. I think in that situation, if someone ordered Rex to his death for pure spite, then I'd seek revenge." Her smile twisted into a moue of distaste.

Ahsoka looked up to see an odd look on the Dark Woman's face, almost as if she was satisfied with her answer. Then she was cold again, asking another question, "And what of this man of yours? This great love? Does he return your affection?"

The young togrutan's whole being seemed to light up with what she was feeling. Closing her eyes and remembering, Ahsoka said, "Oh, yes, Master, he does. He has never said anything, or done anything, that would give the slightest hint. He's the most honorable man I know... But there are times... Times when I'm open to the Force, open to everything around me and he'll just look at me and I can feel...it's wonderful, Master!" Ahsoka opened her eyes, and then blushed, realising what she'd just confessed and who she'd confessed it to.

The Dark Woman held her gaze for a long moment, her expression giving nothing away. "Come with me, child," she instructed.

Ahsoka rushed to shut down the data terminal and follow in the strange Master's wake.

The two Jedi made their way into the depths of the Temple. There, seemingly among corridors that had long been abandoned, the Dark Woman kept her chambers, isolated from the rest of the Order. "Have you heard of Nomi Sunrider, young one?" the Dark Woman asked after she'd instructed Ahsoka to sit on a nearby lounge. The Master Jedi herself was withdrawing something from an old wooden cabinet.

"Of course, Master. She was instrumental in the Great Sith War. She lead the Jedi to victory over Exar Kun and Ulic Qel-Droma."

The Dark Woman took her own seat on a high backed chair, a low table between them. She reverently held in her lap an elegantly carved box made of dark woods, gleaming from the carefully oiled surface. "She did indeed, although at great cost to herself. One of the greatest figures in Jedi history, yet I wonder if we have lost the true lesson of her life. She had in her life, two great loves." She looked at Ahsoka meaningfully, "She lost them both. Since then, love has become a dangerous thing for a Jedi, but we do not truly understand why. I think if you truly want to know what love should mean to a Jedi, she should be the one to teach you."

"Master?"

"At the end of her life, Jedi Sunrider recorded a personal Holocron of all her experiences, to help others learn what she had." The Dark Woman placed the box on the table and pushed it toward Ahsoka, "That Holocron is now in your care, young one."

Ahsoka gasped, "I couldn't possibly. It's too valuable, it... the Master Archivist should... where did you find it?"

The Dark Woman smiled wryly, "Master Jocasta doesn't know it exists. I found it on a personal pilgrimage to Exis station. I think I was the first person to set foot there in centuries. The Republic uses the station now as a staging area. The little time I've been able to spend studying it has led me to a single conclusion: that I was both meant to find it, and I was meant to pass it on to you." Ahsoka again tried to deny her worthiness. "Is it your habit to defy your masters, Padawan?"

Ahsoka tried not to laugh, but small chuckle escaped anyway, "Only when it's expected, Master. I am Padawan to Anakin Skywalker, after all."

The Dark Woman simply raised an eyebrow and responded, "The less said about that one, the better. Nevertheless, you will take the holocron, and you will learn all you can from it, understood?" Ahsoka nodded. "After that, if you wish to pass on your discovery to the Jedi Archives, then so be it. Now take it and return to your quarters. It's late and we both need some sleep."

Ahsoka reached for the box, hesitated for just a moment, then picked it up and held it with as much reverence as her host had done. She stood and bowed to the woman before her, "Thank you, Master. I... Thank you."

Two days later, the Dark Woman encountered a single Clone Trooper marching through the Temple corridors, his single shoulder pauldron, kama and blue paintwork marking him as distinctive. He held his helmet under one arm. "What's your business here?" she asked him.

He saluted in return, "Captain Rex, Ma'am. General Skywalker has asked me to locate Commander Tano for him. She's switched off her commlink again."

"Then its likely that she's in the Archive, studying. The Master Archivist has a preference for silence."

"Thank you, Ma'am. I'll keep that in mind." Assuming her instruction was a dismissal, Rex saluted and began to walk away.

"Captain?" she called to him as he passed.

"Yes, Ma'am?" Rex spun to face her again.

"Take good care of her, Captain. I expect she'll become a great Jedi someday."

Rex smiled proudly, "I will, Ma'am. And she already is." Then he nodded, about-faced again, and continued on his way.

The Dark Woman watched him for another moment, then left, content with what she'd set in motion.

A/N: The Dark Woman worked as an intelligence agent during the Clone Wars, rather than a General, and worked with Aayla Secura to capture Aurra Sing, her former Padawan. In this timeline that is about to happen, so she's at the Temple between missions.