The Bet

"Martin, this is one of the best bars for pulling that you're ever going to find. And since I am not going to spend my time here talking to you, you need to find someone to go flirt with. Now."

"I never know how to start things like this. Everything I say either sounds too generic or too strange."

"Well, you better figure it out soon, because that lovely woman at the end of the bar is making eyes at me."

"No, Douglas, please, don't leave!"

"Alright, how about we add some monetary incentive. I bet you twenty quid you can't come away with a phone number at the end of the evening."

"You're betting against my odds? How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Because the challenge is no longer just 'get a phone number', it's 'beat Douglas'. That always seems to light a fire under you. So you better get a move on, Romeo."

-/-

-/-

Susanna

"Hello there."

"Oh, hello."

"Nice night, isn't it? Good time for a night on the town."

"Eh, it's actually pretty drizzly."

"Oh yes, of course. Good night to get wet, though."

"…Pardon?"

"Wait! No, wait, that wasn't what I met! I mean, of course you're going to be getting wet, it's raining, and you'd have to wear a slick. Slicker! No, I wasn't thinking about you being wet or slick! I was just trying to talk about the weather!"

"…You know, I think I heard my friend calling me."

"Wait, please, no, I wasn't trying to get you wet! Or, I mean I would in certain circumstances, but not while we're just talking, and I really was just talking about the rain outside!"

"Yeah, you know, she's definitely calling me. Very loudly and urgently."

-/-

-/-

Esme

"Hello."

"Salut."

"Oh, um, saloo?"

"Oh, parlez-vous francais? Enchante; je m'appelle Esme."

"Um, I…parlay vos un…a little bit…frances."

"…Vous ne parlez pas francais. Votre francais est presque aussi mauvais que mon anglais."

"…Yes, well, have a good evening."

"Au revoir."

-/-

-/-

Carolyn

"Hello."

"Hi! Great night, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes, a little bit of rain, but it's actually rather cool out."

"Really lovely night to hit the town. Are you out with your friends?"

"Well, yes, with one friend, but I lost him somewhere along the way. And you? Are you out with friends or…um, looking for something…else?"

"Well, you know, just seeing what happens on a good night like this one."

"Oh, heh, yes."

"What's your name?"

"M-martin. Martin Crieff. And you?"

"My name's Carolyn."

"…Ah. Right. Well…Carolyn, I hope you have a fortunate evening, but I believe I heard my friend calling me."

"Oh, um, okay."

-/-

-/-

Erica

"Hello."

"Hi."

"Um, do you mind if I sit down?"

"No, go ahead. My name's Erica."

"I'm Martin. Uh, can I, can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh, that's really sweet, but I can pay for my own drinks. Walk with me to the bar, Martin?"

"Yes, yes, of course!"

[Chair squeaks.]

"Oh…oh, I-I-I, um…I…"

"What, you've never seen a woman reach 6'4" before?"

"Well, I mean, it's not that I have a problem with tall women. Or women at all. I mean, it's not like I don't have standards, but I don't have, um, high standards. Wait, um, not 'high' standards, I'm not trying to make some sort of, uh, pun or anything."

"Yes, I'm tall. You don't have to look so terrified, you know. And hey, it works out great for you; your eyes are at my chest level."

"I…I-I-I…uh, I-"

"Oookay, I clearly just broke you, so I think I'll be on my way. Have a good night, Martin."

"I...um, okay."

-/-

-/-

Phillip

"Hello."

"Hello, there."

"Oh, I was actually talking to-"

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Um, actually, I really was…um, yes, that would be good. My name is Martin."

"Phillip. So what do you do, Martin?"

"I'm a pilot."

"Wait, really? Wow, what a coincidence! I work as an ATC over in Ipswich!"

"Really? You know, I have always had some questions about what it is like working as an ATC. Do you find that, on particularly stormy days, you are more likely to…"

-/-

-/-

The End of the Evening

"So Martin, do I owe you twenty quid or not?"

"As it turns out, yes, yes you do. See, I have the napkin and everything!"

"Oh, good for you Martin. Well, point her out to me before we go."

"…why?"

"To prove you didn't just write that yourself. Which one is she?"

"Um, she's…that blonde. Over by the bar."

"Ah, very good choice. Care to introduce me?"

"…if I pay you the twenty quid can we drop this now?"

"Ha. I knew you didn't get one. Bad luck for you, Martin, but hopefully you had a good evening regardless."

"Um, yes, actually, I did."

-/-

-/-

The Next Night

[Phone rings.]

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Martin. From the bar."

"Oh, hey, I was waiting to hear back from you."

"And I was looking forward to talking to you again. You see, I was wondering about the protocol on diversions in the case of…"