SUMMARY: Lily has always lived a shadow, whether it was her brothers' or her father's. So when she finds herself with the enemies of her brothers, how will they take it? And what about Scorpius Malfoy, who always seems to have an eye on her? Lily goes through drastic changes in perspective, and she starts to wonder, are her brothers really the Golden Boys everyone says they are?

NOT JUST A POTTER

I Run Too Fast or Too Slow It Seems

Dominique POV

"Dominique, part of this deal is that you actually talk to me, you know." Dr Haloway said in her stupid concerned voice. I just looked at her as I sat there with my arms folded. We were sitting in a room of the castle I didn't even know existed, up on the sixth floor. The doctor was sitting at a desk, while I was seated at a large leather sofa that I'm sure was meant to be comfy like the one in the Slytherin common room but really it felt like I was sitting on cardboard.

There weren't words to describe how much I didn't want to be there. But Lily had managed to work this out so no one would know how she found me; not my parents, not anyone. I knew Lily did want to tell my parents, but to be perfectly honest I don't think they'd give a fuck anyway. It would just be something else to make me less perfect that Victoire, and everyone knows how much they love to tell me how much better my darling sister is than me. It's like a fucking hobby or something.

Lily telling Scorpius was just one more thing. I'd made her promise not to but I knew she would eventually; I was dreading it. The look I knew he'd get in his eyes when he'd find out about me is something I would gladly never happen. No matter how much he annoyed me by voicing it, I thought of Scorpius as my brother. No, he was my brother. And I loved it. I never had a relationship with a guy that didn't involve sex before. I lost my virginity when I was thirteen, and I think since then all guys saw when they looked at me was just something to screw. If I was honest I'd say I wish I hadn't lost it that early in my life, but who gives a fuck anyway?

So I'd been in the hospital wing for two days as Madam Pomfrey healed me, and I'd made Lily promise not to tell the others where I was, and now I had to attend therapy sessions every day at 7pm. I'd gone to two already and I hadn't spoken at all other than to say good evening and good night when I entered and left the room. I knew they were cutting me a huge break here, not telling my parents and not keeping me in the hospital wing where everyone could see me, but I didn't want to talk to anyone about this. And the last person I would ever want to talk to about anything would be a 'medical professional' who would try to diagnose me with something or, Merlin help me, fix me. I was fine.

"What do you want me to say, Doc?" I said, emphasising the bored tone in my voice. "I'm sure you've already made some judgement about me." That's what everyone else seems to do at least, I added in my head.

"How about we talk about your cousin?" She said, leaning over her desk and looking me straight in the eye.

"You're going to have to narrow it down there, Doc."

"The one who found you," She glanced at one of the papers on her desk. "Ah, yes, Lily. Why don't we talk about her?"

"What about her?" I frowned.

"How do you feel about her?"

"Well," I started, "She's my best friend. She's the reason I'm so close with the Slytherin crowd."

"Ah yes, I see." She nodded, "But it says here you're not very close with your family. Any particular reason for that?"

"Lily, I guess." I shrugged. "Among other things. Like the fact that they're all pretentious douches, excuse my French."

Dr Haloway chuckled lightly, "How is Lily the reason you're not close to your family?"

"Well, I've never been that close with them, if I'm honest, but now because I took Lily's side in the argument they all look at me like I used the Unforgivables on them or something."

"And you resent her for that?"

"No, not at all," My words rushed out, "I mean, it's hard sometimes, but I deal with it. And, like I said, I was never that close with them anyway."

She made some notes on her clipboard before turning back to me.

"But it's the way you deal with it that we're trying to get to the bottom of here, Dominique." She said it with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and then glanced at her watch. "That's all we have time for today, I'll see you tomorrow at 7." She said, leaning back in her chair and gesturing towards the door for me. I picked myself up off the large sofa and walked out of the room, only to run head first into Scorpius.

"Oh, sorry, hey," I stumbled over my feet again as I tried to rediscover my balance. And then I saw the look in his eyes. "She told you." I whispered, and I found myself unable to look him in the eye. I didn't want to see the disgust in his face; I didn't want to see the revulsion in his eyes. I thought I'd be mad at Lily when she told Scorpius, but somehow I wasn't. I didn't blame her, because I knew I'd do the same. I just felt ashamed of myself. And then I felt his strong arms wrap around me and I was so shocked I almost fell over again. I looked up at him and there was no distaste anywhere in his face; just love. Not in the way he looked at Lily, but in the way a brother would look at a sister.

I felt tears well up in my eyes but I blinked them back and returned his embrace. He stroked my hair and whispered repeatedly:

"Oh, Dommie, it's okay."

He hugged me tighter, as though he was afraid to let me go. We stood there for a long while, I wasn't sure for how long, until we eventually started walking to the common room in comfortable silence, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders tightly.

"Adrian knows, doesn't he?" I said, hearing my voice break slightly and hoping Scorpius didn't notice it. He didn't do anything for a moment, and then he nodded slowly.

"He knew before Lily did," Scorpius said, without looking at me. Not in a bad way, I knew, but because he wasn't sure how to tell me.

"What?"

"He's really beating himself up about it. He knew, Dom. Not for certain, of course, but he knew something was wrong. And he didn't do anything; he didn't talk to you or anything. He just 'let it happen', as he put it. So if he's finding it hard to be around you, don't think it's because of you. It's because he feels guilty. And I know he'll probably feel guiltier for not being able to be there for you. So I'll try to talk to him again."

I stayed silent, thoughts racing through my mind. Adrian thought it was his fault. Adrian. Who broke up with his girlfriend pretty much for me, thought it was his fault. I knew Scorpius talking to him wouldn't do anything for him, but I could. But not right now. I couldn't. I don't know what it was, but I just couldn't.

I only realised when we got there that Scorpius had been walking me to the Gryffindor common room, which I was glad for because I didn't think I could face the Slytherin one just yet, although I longed for its sofa. He gave me a long hug, gave me a quick peck on my head and ruffled my hair, and then said goodbye.

"I love you, Dommie." He smiled at me.

"Love you too, Corey," I grinned at him. I was the only person allowed to call him Corey, and he was the only one permitted to call me Dommie.

"Night, little sister," He gave me a cheesy smile and then turned and walked away, and I walked into the common room with a smile on my face. I headed straight up to my dorm and got into bed quickly, snuggling up under the warm covers.

I found I was more tired than I'd thought, and my eyes began to well up with tears. I tucked myself deeper into the covers to try and somehow comfort myself, but the tears just kept falling and my arms began to itch.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay," I repeated into my pillow. If I said it enough, maybe I'd start to believe it myself.

Lily and Jacob had been dating for a while now. Well, a while for a thirteen year old. I guess for Jacob it wasn't long at all. But Lily looked happy, and I think that's what really matters. Scorpius thought I didn't notice his face whenever she and Jacob were together, but I did; he clenched his jaw, gritted his teeth, and balled his fists. I was sure that one day he would've just punched Jacob just for being with his girl, but he never let it show when Lily looked at him. I swear that girl is more clueless than he is; I'm almost certain he doesn't know himself how he feels.

Jacob came over to Lily at dinner like he always did, his hands covering her eyes and Lily becoming internally mortified. Scorp and I always got a good laugh out of that. Jacob was my friend and all, but he wasn't half a loser.

"Dommie, have you noticed anything weird about Crawford recently?" Scorpius whispered to me.

"You mean how he's been talking to Albus? Yep, I was going to talk to Lily about it later," I replied in hushed tones.

"I already did; she, er, didn't believe me,"

"Okay, so what do we do?" I asked, and Scorpius looked at me and bit his lip.

"Let me handle it, don't worry about it," He said eventually, and then he went back to his food. I knew why he was saying that, so I dragged him away from the table and into the corner of the Hall.

"Scorpius, I'm fine. I don't need you to baby me," I said, a little quieter than I'd hoped to.

"No, Dom, you're not fine. Do not tell me you are because I know you're not." Scorpius said without missing a beat. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "And I can't help you and it kills me so I have to baby you, because I need to help my sister."

"So help me by treating me normally!" I said, again a little quieter than I'd planned to; I looked down at my feet and then looked back at him. "I'm okay, Scorpius. Honestly." I looked at him earnestly, and when his expression didn't change I sighed loudly and sat back down. He wasn't ever going to believe me.

It was then that I wished Lily had never found me.

"I gotta go, babe, the guys are waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow?" Jacob said to Lily, and he kissed her goodbye and headed out the doors. I felt Scorpius' tense form sit down beside me and I honestly wasn't sure whether it was because of me or because of Jacob.

All three of us finished our dinners with small conversation, and then joined in with the conversation the others were having about Quidditch; riveting stuff. Scorpius helped me up from my seat as we left, and I'm sure he saw me flinch slightly as he touched my arm but he didn't say anything.

"Hey, what were you guys talking about?" Lily asked us.

"Adrian and Stacey," I lied easily, "We didn't want to interrupt you and Jake so we figured we'd just talk away from you."

"Oh, how come? Anything new?"

"Not really, just–" Scorpius stopped when he heard Jacob's voice.

"Yeah, Al, it's all good," he was saying. Lily walked quicker, walking to the end of the corridor so she could see around the corner. Scorpius and I followed suit, and saw Jacob laughing with Albus, a grin plastered on his face. "I got her wrapped around my little finger."

"So, soon then?" Albus enquired, and Scorpius and I exchanged confused looks, while Lily's eyes widened with horror and filled with tears as if she knew what was going on.

"Yeah, I was thinking as soon as this weekend. And then I get my money, right?"

"It shouldn't be that hard to get her into bed, she is a right little tramp. And don't worry; you'll get your money. What did we decide on, 50 galleons?"

I saw Scorpius' face fill with rage and his fist rose, but before he could do anything someone else knocked him sideways. A mess of jet black hair stormed towards Jacob and Albus, and before either of them could utter his name he raised his arm and punched Jacob right between the eyes. Jacob fell to the floor, moaning in agony.

"Don't you even try to fucking touch her," James spat at him. He then turned to face Lily, Scorpius, and I, and it was the first time in years I'd seen any emotion in my cousin's eyes. His eyes were full of rage when he looked at his brother and Jacob, but when he looked at Lily his face softened, and he looked... sad. He looked remorseful, and he looked pained. James then looked at me, and I saw his eyes were full of sorrow toward me as well, but then he looked at Scorpius. There was no sorrow there, but there was no anger either. No hate, no rage, but understanding. He nodded at Scorpius – a nod which Scorpius returned – and then walked quickly away from the scene.

Lily stood with her eyes wide, wiping furiously at her sodden cheeks. Scorpius' face had turned back to angry as he looked at Jacob. I noticed that Albus had fled the scene, but this time I wasn't sure whether he'd go after James or not. Albus had become scarily good at being James, so much so that he had begun to surpass his older brother, and he was becoming his own person. I would've been proud if I didn't despise his 'own person'.

Scorpius walked to Jacob slowly, his lip curling maliciously.

"You're lucky I don't murder you right here," He snarled into Jacob's ear, "But, you see, I'm not a dickhead. That's you." Scorpius foot connected with Jacob's stomach hard and fast; I probably wouldn't have noticed it if Jacob hadn't doubled over in pain.

Scorpius then put his arm around Lily and steered her towards the common room. Lily was still in shock, her eyes wide and her lips parted slightly. I grabbed a hold of her hand and led her along with Scorpius towards her common room, setting her down on the large leather sofa. She immediately lay down and curled up in a small ball. She closed her eyes and eventually her breathing started to slow. I conjured a thick soft blanket and covered her with it, and Scorpius sat in the armchair next to her, and I knew he wouldn't leave her side until she woke.

So when I saw Adrian out of the corner of my eye, I knew I could go. I needed to talk to him now. I was able to talk to him now.

"Hey, Adrian," I called to him. His head snapped up and looked at me. He immediately looked back down at his feet but he stayed still, allowing me to walk up to him. I threw Lily one more glance over my shoulder before speaking. "Can we talk? In, er, private, I mean." I was suddenly more nervous than I thought I'd be, and I willed my hands to stop from shaking.

"Sure, come on," Adrian responded after a moment of silence. He held out his hand for me to take and led me up to his dormitory. He gestured for me to sit on his bed so I took a seat, not being able to help but notice how comfy it was.

"Scorpius told me what you thought," I said. I wasn't sure how to start, so I figured I'd just get straight to the point. "And you can't believe that. It's not your fault. It was just a... weak moment. No one was supposed to see that."

"But I did, Dom. I saw it. I knew what was happening and I did nothing to stop you." He said, his voice quiet and his eyes refusing to look in mine. "You... you tried to commit suicide, and I could've helped you and I didn't." I flinched slightly at 'suicide', but he wasn't looking at me so he didn't notice.

"Adrian, it's not your fault. Please believe that."

"If it's not mine then whose is it?"

"Mine. It's my fault, Adrian." I stood up, forcing him to look at me. "I was the one doing it, and it's not like I told you. It's my fault."

"No, Dom, it's not–"

"And I'm still doing it! I'm still trying to convince myself and everyone else that I'm fine and that everything's okay and I'm not!" My eyes filled with tears. "I'm not okay, Adrian! I'm not okay and I don't know what to do," I felt his arms wrap around me tightly, differently to Scorpius'; warmer, stronger, safer. I sobbed hard into his shoulder, and he stroked my hair slowly, whispering something into my head that I couldn't quite get.

He sat me down on his bed in silence, and then rummaged through his drawers and pulled out a t-shirt emblazoned with a faded logo of an old Muggle band. I could just make out My Chemical Romance, and then he tossed me the shirt. It would've been slightly big on him, which meant it was huge on me. The hem stopped at mid-thigh, and I tucked myself into his bed. Slowly and silently, Adrian began undressing, taking his shirt off and then his trousers until he just stood in his boxers. He did all this without stopping looking at me, and I took in his body with admiration.

Unhurriedly, he climbed into the bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me. I hadn't realised I was cold until his skin brushed mine, his touch spreading warmth to even the tips of my fingers. He looked at me intensely, and then he kissed me tenderly. It was over quicker than I'd hoped it'd be, but I knew then that he was all I wanted. But not tonight. He knew it too. He entwined his fingers with mine and kissed the nape of my neck gently, and then he closed his eyes. I snuggled in closer to him, and I fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.

A/N

So what do you think about Dominique's chapter? I wrote this chapter a few times in Lily's POV but it felt better doing it in Dominique's. Let me know what you think.

thanks guys!

beccasophX