Kissing Lessons (Or, When Ed Finally Got a Clue)

Summary: Al wants to know about kissing; Ed isn't happy. So Al asks Winry, because she knows how to kiss. Ed isn't happy about this either.

Pairings: Edwin, mentioned Al/May.

Warnings: A bit of making out, I guess. Vague spoilers.

"Winry, can I ask you a question?"

Alphonse's voice was pitched with just the right amount of random offhandedness that Ed didn't even look up from the bacon and eggs he was shoveling into his mouth.

Winry, on the other hand, set down her fork and turned to him. "Sure, Al."

"What's kissing like?"

Al's question was casually asked, with such an innocent demeanor that it took a moment for Ed to process it. Naturally, once he did, he fell of the chair he was sitting on.

The other two occupants of the kitchen didn't pay any attention to him. Winry considered his question for a moment. "Well, kissing is like – "

Ed interrupted her, bacon neglected in favor of this far more pressing urgency. "Kissing? Why would you even want to know that?"

"I've had my body back for a while now, and even though I've got to do all these fun things, like eating Winry's apple pie, I haven't kissed anyone yet. I want to know about it."

"Don't be ridiculous, Al! Winry doesn't know how to kiss!"

Winry rounded on Ed, a hand cocked on her hip. "For your information, Ed, I do happen to know how to kiss. After all, I have kissed before."

"What?" For the second time that morning, Ed fell off of his chair.

Winry huffed and ignored him as she turned back to Al. "You press your mouth to someone else's and you kinda move your mouth around…" she trailed off. "It's kinda hard to explain actually."

Ed made a sound that was akin to a kicked puppy.

"You can use tongue too," Winry continued.

"T-tongue?"

Winry shot him a faintly annoyed look. "Yes, Ed. Tongue. People have tongues in their mouths and they kiss with their mouths. Do the math."

Ed spluttered. "But-but…you can't just go around sticking your tongue into some random guy's mouth! He might have some kind of mouth-disease!"

"I don't stick my tongue into random guys' mouths! And he doesn't have any disease."

"How do you know that? For all you know, he's some sleazy scumbag who takes advantage of pretty girls!" Ed paused and flushed. "Not that I think you're pretty! Wait, wait, not that I think you're not pretty either – "

"He's not! I know him! I've known him since childhood!"

"What?" Ed yelled. "Who is he?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to go beat him up!"

"Damn right, I am! And why shouldn't I?"

"Geez, Ed. Calm down!"

"I won't be calm until the jerk who corrupted you is – OW! What the hell was that for?"

Winry brandished a familiar wrench that had a suspicious gleam of red on it. "Listen, Ed! He's not some kind of creep; he's a really nice guy." And although Winry was glaring at his brother, Al could see the glint of humor in her eyes.

Ed couldn't, apparently. "Was it Trevor? I never liked him. I should have known he'd do something like this."

"What are you talking about? You used to play with him all the time when we were little."

"That was before I found out he was a lousy, mouth-diseased bastard!"

Winry's mouth twitched upwards before she could control it. "I can take care of myself." She waved the wrench around in case they'd forgotten. "Besides, I kissed him first." Without waiting for the outburst that Ed surely would have made at that little revelation, she continued, "And just so you know, it wasn't Trevor." There was that tiny smile again.

Ed was all bluster covering wounded betrayal. "But why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew that you'd act like this." Ed opened his mouth, probably to deny it, but Winry had already turned her back to him and regarded Al with a considering gaze. "Hm, maybe I should do a demonstration."

"What?" Ed screeched.

"Why would you do that, Winry?" Al asked.

"Well, it's kinda hard to explain kissing."

"You're going to kiss Al?" Ed yelped.

Winry rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Typical Ed. You put that big brain of yours to a task and come to the wrong conclusion."

"What wrong conclusion?"

"Honestly," Winry sighed. "And you're supposed to be a genius."

"You're not making any sense!"

"Then let me clear it up for you."

With those words, Winry grabbed the back of Ed's neck and pulled him toward her. Their lips came together in an awkward meeting of teeth and saliva. Ed's eyes were wide open in shock then he closed them and responded…eagerly.

Al couldn't help but watch in fascination. Their kissing was by no means graceful; it seemed messy and untamed. They were getting pretty enthusiastic about it. Maybe they had forgotten about him? Just as he was contemplating clearing his throat to get their attention, they abruptly pulled apart, panting. Ed blinked, dazed.

"There." Winry looked flushed, but victorious. "That's kissing. Do you understand now, Al?"

"There was an awful lot of tongue involved…"

"Yes, there was, wasn't there?" Al couldn't help but notice that Winry looked quite pleased with herself. Ed was just staring blankly ahead.

"Brother?" He tentatively poked at Ed. When he received no response, he said, "I think you broke him."

If anything, Winry looked even more satisfied at that. "Really? Maybe I need to kiss him again."

Ed snapped out of whatever trance he had been in. "W-what just happened?"

"I think that's obvious. I kissed you." Ed made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a squeak.

"It was fun," Winry informed him.

Yup, definitely a squeak. A totally blissed-out, how did my life get so great kind of squeak.

"Let's do it again."

"Meep," Ed responded.

Before Winry pulled his brother into what was doubtless another heated lip-lock, Al caught her eye from behind Ed. Thanks, Winry! he mouthed. She flashed him a quick thumbs up before pressing her lips to Ed's again.

When they separated, Winry rested her forehead against Ed's. "So clueless," she murmured. "It was you I kissed before. It was after you had your automail surgery. You were really out of it, talking about how pretty I was and how much you wanted to kiss me."

Normally, at a time like this, Ed would have been defending his past self, squawking and flailing, but he was still in a slight stupor. The most he could manage was, "W-why didn't you say that before, Gearhead?"

"You weren't listening, Alchemy Freak," she shot back.

As the friendly banter started flying back and forth, Al quietly eased himself out of the room, a grin stretched across his face.

His plan had worked! Now that Ed and Winry were finally together, Al could ask May on a date and his brother couldn't say anything about it! In fact, Ed would probably be so caught up with Winry that he wouldn't even notice what was going on in anyone's romantic life but his own.

He started to whistle contentedly. Sometimes, he wondered who the true genius in the family was.