"Where's Nate? Where's he gone? What's he doing with Elena? Are they married? Is her hair dyed? Why did he buy a new shirt? Why did he choose her over you? What's a sausage? Look at you, you're mental! Why? Where am I? Why's my leg hurt? What are we doing? Where's dinner? I want to go to Atlantis? Why do you live alone? What's your show size? Are you upset Nate dumped you?

In the end Chloe really couldn't be blamed for giving Charlie a ticket to Yemen.

The sun glared down upon Nate. He looked up at it as if to say… well, he wasn't quite sure but he'd have words later. He moved his view down to the airport. Sully nudged him forward and he slowly stepped down to terra firma. Solid ground. His eyes alighted on the woman, newly revealed by a moving baggage vehicle. His wife. Elena Fisher, smiling, holding, what looked like the permits. Seeing her again set his heart racing, his palms sweaty. And not due to the sun. Sully exclaimed something and made his way down to her. She said something about being frowned upon and how they could hold hands. With a start he realised she was talking to him. Had she gotten more beautiful? She had a nice tan now. That's what you get for working in a hot country. He wanted to say she looked beautiful. Indescribable. How much he had missed her. But instead he said.

"How you doing Elena?"

"Good, thanks" she replied, looking down. Why wouldn't she look at him?

"You look great." How stupid did that sound?

Elena launched into what she was about to say, but something caught her eye. She pointed behind Nate.

"I thought you were coming alone?" What was she talking about? He looked around and saw him.

Charlie Cutter.

He heard Sully mutter 'Goddamnit' beside him. That wasn't strong enough.

Charlie Cutter had to be the most annoying person in history. And the stupidest.

Charlie made his way towards them, grinning like he had just been told he was being given Yemen.

"Ay up, everyone." He nodded at them. Nate nodded back as he tried to process this. Sully tried to nod his head but his neck just cricked.

"Argh" Sully shouted.

Charlie's eyes locked on him.

"You wha?" Charlie's catchphrase.

Sully just waved his hand at him. Nate looked around at Elena. She was mouthing 'you wha', completely confused.

Then Charlie saw her. His eyes lit up.

"Elena!" He ran towards her. Elena put her hands up.

"No, Charlie, you can't touch here! No Charlie" She backed off but before she could get 5 feet, Charlie had her. He hugged tightly, and Elena started to go white. Nate knew what that was like. Charlie had hugged him after he got him through the tunnels in Syria and Sully and Chloe had tried to get him off. Sully just wanted to kill him. Chloe had pleaded that it was not his fault. They all knew he was a little dumb.

Anyway, the same thing was happening to Elena. Nate and Sully ran forward and pulled Charlie off forcefully. Charlie let out a 'you wha' before they threw him in the sand. Nate pulled Elena up and into his arms, holding her protectively. She was still drawing breath back into her lungs.

"You okay?" Nate asked.

She nodded. "Nate" she said "this is kinda forbidden."

"Oh" he let go, reluctantly. She smiled at him before looking back at Sully and Charlie. Sully was kicking Charlie on the ground, reprimanding him. Elena ran forward and split them up, shouting at Sully to stop. It was not his fault. He was trying to be friendly. Yeah, that was going to happen alot.

They made their way to the terminals. Sully got through just fine. Then it was Nate's turn. He moved forward confidently. Then Elena grabbed his arm.

"Nate!"

He turned. "What?"

She pointed at Charlie who was talking to a plant.

"And?" Nate prompted.

"Well, how's he going to get through? I thought it was just you guys coming. How is he going to get through?"

"He's not. Leave him. He followed us anyway, we didn't bring him. We left him to Chloe."

Elena nodded "Even so, he's here now. What are we going to do? We can't leave him."

She looked at him but all Nate cared about was how she had said 'us'. Then he jerked out.

"Well, I don't know. Just, hey, how about we pretend he's our stupid son, even though he appears older than us!"

He had been joking. But Elena had thought it was a good idea.

The guy at the counter didn't believe a word Elena was telling him. He kept looking at Nate and Charlie, standing next to each other as if to show off resemblance. As if there was any.

The counter guy said "He doesn't look like you guys at all. And he appears older. Are you just pulling my leg?"

Elena leaned forward "No, he just has a strong resemblance to my grandfather, that's all."

"He is your grandfather" The guy muttered. "Okay, whatever, just go though but that guy" he pointed at Sully "is definitely not your son."

Sully had wanted the lollies kids got when going through. And he had nearly cocked up their plan too trying to get them.

Elena pointed to him. "Nah, he's Nate's dad" she said, pointing at me. It was kinda true, he supposed. There was a bit more talking and they were through. Somehow.

"So, no diabolical warlords" Elena asked Nate. Still Charlie answered.

"Wha? No, but we do have crazy agents with drug powers and a guy who can disappear through walls! He's mental!"

Elena nodded, smiling. She was the nicest to Charlie. Nicer than Sully who hated him.

She looked back at Nate and asked, again "How about cursed treasures?"

Charlie answered again. "Well, we think so. I mean, odds say there will be. I mean, it's like 66%. It's mental!"

"Okay" Elena said.

"He's making it up" Nate said quickly.

Elena stopped.

"You are the worst liar." She said, shaking her head.

Nate turned.

"We're not getting into this again."

"Just…"

Then Sully interrupted. "Where the fuck can I smoke?"

Elena pointed at the car "Over there. Just don't stink up the seats."

He grunted, ran an eye over Elena, which made Nate angry, (the dirty pervert) and walked off. Elena looked unphased. It happened a lot.

Nate turned his attention to her wedding band.

"You're still wearing it." He said softly.

Then Charlie was there.

"You still married? Well, then of course she's still wearing it."

They ignored him.

"I see you're still wearing yours" Elena said, pointing.

Charlie again: "Well, of course. He's addicted to that thing. It's mental!"

They ignored him.

Elena said sadly "Look Nate, I know you don't think we can ever be together becau-"

"You wha?" Charlie. "Well, of course you two can't!"

They both turned to him.

"I mean, you two would have to be mental to do that!"

Nate: "Just shut up Charlie. Go to Sully and have a cigar. I don't know!"

"Are you mental, mate? He hates me! And cigars? You know what they do to you. mate? They fuck you up real bad. Just like your relationship!"

That was the last straw for Elena.

"What are you saying?" She demanded.

"Well, you two couldn't ever be together. It's fact."

"Fine" She turned to Nate "You want to get together just to show him" She nodded at Charlie.

Nate didn't respond. Then he shouted:

"Sully!"

Sully jerked around. He produced a wedding band from his pocket and threw it. Or tried to anyway. He couldn't see shit through the smoke cloud he'd conjured around him. He missed and it hit a car. He made to walk to it, before giving it up as a bad job.

Later, driving in the jeep, Nate adjusted the wedding ring.

"So" Elena said "How did Charlie end up in this 'quest' anyway?"

Nate looked back at the Charlie in the back. He'd fallen asleep after he nearly had his head taken out by Sully's prank, the one where you put your head out in front of a truck. Then Sully would try to hold it out there intill impact. Charlie loved it and Sully always hoped Charlie would die at some point. But Charlie was too good and he still had his head.

"Well, we needed someone stupid enough to get beaten up. As a show of force, you see. But Charlie, well, he's a better fighter than we thought. We actually had to fight our way out of the bar. Then Charlie wanted to shoot us. He missed and hit Marlowe instead. She was taken off and the rest is pretty boring. Besides when we were spying on Talbot and Charlie screamed, 'we're here' but anyway. We went to a Chateau in France and Cutter set that on fire. Then Syria and Marlowe tried to burn Charlie alive for when he shot her. He jumped-"

Elena gasped "How did he survive?"

Sully answered "We're still trying to figure that out. We think he's like a curse. We opened him in London and now he won't leave us alone!"

Nate nodded. "We could have used Bill, but we needed someone stupid. Talk about Karma…"

Elena focused ahead. She had expected this to be dangerous. But she hadn't expected it to be dangerous and to have to lug around a Charlie. Christ. What had she gotten herself into?