Excuse Me?

Story started by the illustrious Midnaite
Continued and newly revamped by Nimhi

No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made. This is a fan created work.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Humor/Romance/Parody

Summary: Harry and Draco were in detention when Draco asked an odd question. "Do you hate me?"

Notes: I'm not sure I like this story. Looking back on it as an adult it makes me cringe a bit. I suppose it makes sense that it's badly written, since Midnaite and I were 14 when we started it. I am going back over it and editing it mildly, but despite everything I cannot turn it into a decent piece of work. As it is, people seem to be enjoying it, so perhaps it's not as awful as it looks to me, but I need to tweak it for my own…comfort, I suppose? If I'm going to finish this, I need to come to terms with what the first chapters say. So here it is, my revamped cheese fest! Improbable plot and antics included! Enjoy!

Chapter 1
Do You Hate Me?

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were sitting alone in the potions classroom. Draco was organizing glass phials while Harry pulled the wings off of various bugs and put them (the wings) in jars. Quite obviously, this was not how either of the boys would have liked to have been spending their evening. As it was, they had both received detentions from Professor McGonagall for fighting in the hall.

It was some consolation, at least to Draco, to know that they were not the only ones being punished. Gregory Goyle and Hermione Granger were serving their detention with Filch, while Ron Weasley and Vincent Crabbe were serving detention with McGonagall. Needless to say, none of the aforementioned students were too happy. Realizing that conflict would only make the detention seem to pass slower, Hermione had managed to form a semi-peace treaty with Goyle. Soon, the two were actually working together, so as to finish their cleaning sooner. Ron, predictably, was not doing nearly so well with Crabbe; both boys already earned another detention for further fighting. They were still yelling at each other now. But in the potions classroom, silence prevailed.

For the most part, at least.

Clink, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Clink, clank, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Clink, CRUNCH.

"DAMN!"

Clank, clank, clank, crunch,

"Damn."

Thunk.

"Potter."

"What?"

"Shut up."

Clink, clink, clink. Clank, clink, clink.

Harry was sure the sound of the phials clinking together was going to drive him insane. Any second now, he was sure, he'd…scream or something. The irritating sound was severely distracting and he had already crushed more than a few bugs. Time seemed to crawl by slower by the second and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't tune out the damn clickity clanking.

"Malfoy?"

"What?"

"Are you almost finished?"

"No."

Clink, clink, clank, clink, clink, crunch.

Harry bit his tongue and grabbed another bug.

Clink, clink…clink…

"Potter?"

Crunch.

"Damn it. What, Malfoy?"

"Do you hate me?"

Silence.

"What did you say?"

"Do you hate me?"

Harry blinked. Clearly he was missing something. Why would Malfoy ask him something like that? The antagonism between them the past six years was legendary. Hardly the precursor to a quiet, sincere question like the one the blond posed.

"Do you hate me?" he asked curiously. Draco tilted his head.

"I asked you first." He said, simply. Harry frowned, vaguely irritated by the response. "And I want the truth, Potter."

That wasn't what he had been expecting. So, Malfoy was serious. He really wanted to know?

"No, I don't hate you, Malfoy."

Silence descended again.

Clink, clink, clank…

"That's good."

Crunch.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'that's good'."

Clink, clink, clink, clank.

"I know that. I want to know why you said it."

"Because I don't hate you either."

Clink, clink, clink, clink.

"Then why do you always have to…"

Clank, clink, clink, click.

"Because I think it's quite possible that I love you."

Crunch, crackle, crunch.

"What!"

"I might possibly love you."

Clink, clink, clank, clink.

~ ! ~

Hermione was happy. Quite happy, in fact. Gregory Goyle wasn't the stupidest person she had ever met. She had cautiously engaged Goyle into a non hostile conversation in an attempt to keep their detention from being too miserable, fully expecting to be talking to the intellectual equivalent of a brick. Against all expectations, however, she was rather enjoying talking to him. Crabbe and Goyle had never, to her knowledge, done with enthusiasm and interest anything that didn't involve violence. Obviously she had the wrong impression of Goyle; he was eager to learn anything Hermione would tell him.

"Wait, Hermione, what was that last word?" he asked, face distorting slightly in thought. They were discussing her summer trip to the United States.

"Extravagant?" Hermione asked. Goyle nodded slowly.

"That means, er, amazing but over-done right?" he asked hesitantly, as though he expected to be wrong. Hermione smiled and nodded encouragingly.

"That's right." She said firmly. "As I was saying, it was really neat, if a bit extravagant. Still, it was amazing to be there."

"I can imagine." Goyle said. "Do you have any pictures?"

"Loads!" Hermione grinned. "Would you like to see them tomorrow? After classes? Perhaps Crabbe would be interested too?"

"I know he would!" Goyle grinned. Needless to say, Hermione was pleased. She always enjoyed spreading knowledge around and she enjoyed it even more when the recipients were willing. Which they usually weren't.

"Have you ever read 'Hogwarts: A History'?" she asked. Goyle shook his head.

"No, was it any good?" he asked. Hermione grinned. If only it were this easy with Ron and Harry!

"It was very informative, you could learn a lot." She said, nodding sagely. "If you'd like, I can lend you one of my copies. But only if you promise to be very careful with it."

"I'd be very careful." Goyle assured her. Hermione's grin widened.

"Splendid."

~ ! ~

"I hate you." Ron informed the other boy.

"I hate you more." Crabbe responded.

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not, now shut up."

"Do too, make me."

"Do not, make me make you."

"Do too, make me make you make me."

"Do not, make me make you make me make you."

"SHUT UP, THE BOTH OF YOU!" McGonagall yelled. The boys went back to working silently and glaring at each other.

"I hate you." Ron said quietly.

"I hate you more."

~ ! ~

Clink, clink, clank, clink, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Clink, clink, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Clink, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Cli…crunch

"DAMN!"

Silence.

Clink. Clink. Clank. Clink, clink, clink, crunch.

"Damn."

Clink, clink, clink, crunch.

"Dmmmmphhh. Draacoo?"

"Mmm?"

"Mm."

"I thought so."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Mmmmm…"

~ ! ~

"It was really nice talking to you." Hermione grinned at Gregory.

"Yeah, we should do it again sometime."

"Tomorrow, just leaving the Great Hall?"

"Sure. I'll try not to hit you so hard this time."

"And I promise not to hex you, unless it's safe and easily remedied."

"Deal."

"Later!"

"Bye."

~ ! ~

Ron ran top speed out of the Transfiguration classroom. A few minutes later, Crabbe bolted for the Slytherin common room.

~ ! ~

"Mmmmm…Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"I think…I think I might love you too."

"Good."

"I still think you're a bloody git, though."

"That's fine."

"Mmm…Ron's going to try and kill you now."

"And you aren't going to try and stop him?"

"Aaaaall I can do is trrrrrryy, no guarrrrrantees that'll woooork…Don't do that when I'm talking!"

"Do what? This…?"

"Mmmhmmm…"

~ ! ~

Ron burst into the Gryffindor common room, out of breath. Hermione, who was sitting in front of the fire with a book raised an eyebrow at him.

"In a hurry?" she asked, taking in his appearance. He frowned at her.

"Where's Harry?" he asked, looking pointedly around the common room. Hermione shrugged.

"I thought he was with you." She said matter-of-factly. "I was just waiting up for you two to get back."

"Is he still in detention?"

"I suppose we could go check?"

"Sure."

~ ! ~

Down in the dungeons, Snape was taking a deep breath. He placed one hand against the door to his classroom and mustered up his most threatening voice.

"Haven't you imbeciles finished y..." Snape stopped cold. The phials were all neatly organized on the shelf, the bugs were all de-winged and the wings were in jars on the shelf. The bugs, however, were sitting, forgotten on the table, as the two boys responsible for cleaning them up were a bit...tied up at the moment. The blood drained from his face.

One of the boys moaned, and Snape swayed on his feet. He had only left for a few minutes...if anything he would have thought they would be fighting but...thank Merlin he had returned now, rather than any later. At least they still had their clothing on.

"Professor?" Granger's voice asked from behind him. "Is Harry...?"

Snape gestured mutely at the boys. Hermione's hands flew to her mouth as she gasped and there was a dull thud as Ron hit the ground in a dead faint. Harry and Draco pulled apart and looked over at the door. Draco smirked drunkenly at Snape and Hermione. Harry slid his arms back around Draco's waist, gently kissing his neck. As Draco made a soft sound of approval and leaned into the touch, Snape uncharacteristically joined Ron on the floor.

Harry pulled Draco to his feet and led him toward the door, over Snape, past the still staring Hermione, over Ron and into the hall.

"My room?" he whispered.

"Your room." Draco replied, and the two swept off toward the Gryffindor dorms. Hermione soon joined her boyfriend and her professor in their dead faints.

~ ! ~

The next morning, Seamus woke up early. Usually a late sleeper, the Irish boy had gone to bed early the night before, since the golden trio wasn't around for him to amuse himself with. He pushed the curtains away from his bed and surveyed the room. A slow smile spread over his face. Harry had tied quite a knot to hold his curtains together. Clearly Harry, once again forgetting that he could use magic, was trying to keep people out. And if he was trying to keep people out, he must be hiding something.

A girl, obviously. What else could he have to hide?

Seamus decided to find out who it was. Lavender? Parvati? Maybe even Ginny! Oh, Ron would be so mad! He crept over to Harry's bed, and pushed away the hanging cloth under the knot. What he saw nearly made him shout out loud. He rubbed his eyes once, for good measure, and looked again.

Pale hair glinting in the light, Draco Malfoy was curled up next to Harry, sleeping. Seamus stumbled backwards, away from Harry's bed, pulling the curtain closed. Still in shock, he climbed into his own bed again. He began to drift off as he tried to process what he had just seen. In a few minutes he was startled awake by the sound of Neville walking toward Harry's bed. He jumped up, throwing his curtains back.

"What are you doing?" he hissed. Neville blinked in confusion.

"I was just going to wake Harry up…" he said, "See if he wanted me to wait to go down to breakfast."

Seamus shook his head quickly.

"Let him sleep. He was up late in detention, with Snape no less." He said. "After that, he deserves his sleep."

"Oh." Neville said, shrugging. "Okay."

Seamus breathed a sigh of relief as Neville headed towards the bathroom. He eyed Harry's bed.

All right, Potter. This better have a good explanation.

~end chapter 1