December 25, 1977

Place: Boys' Dorm

Mood: Disgraced, shamed, mortified, embarrassed-!

Hi. The name's Black. Sirius Black. Alright, alright, Sirius Orion Black. And-

…Shut up, James. No, I will not name this…diary thing. And-

James told me to add that I am a boy of sixteen that writes in a diary. Yeah, well, James can just go…do something else. I'm sure a diary like you is wondering why the heck I am writing in this in the first place.

I prefer the term, journal by the way.

Well, my friend here, James "Prongs" Potter, decided that it would be a laugh to get me a diary for Christmas. A fricken diary! And, to add to the humiliation, James put a jinx on in it-or you, or this-to make me write in it every day.

Every. Single. Day.

Quit laughing, James. How do you not see something wrong with this? No, I will not name the diary! …You even have Remus laughing, for crying out loud. I'm ashamed, and you're just adding to the humiliation.

I'm just going to go now. The Introduction is over. And-

James says I need to write at least five hundred words a day. He has a tracker on it, and the diary shocks me repeatedly if I don't write in it.

Some best mate he is! *huffs* Fine. I'll write in it because I want to. Not because I have to.

James says wanting to write in a diary is making me lose my virility or 'manliness'. But what would James know about being manly, anyway?

More than you, he says.

Shut up James, I say.

Fine. I'll write something. I might as well write about little Jamesie boy's gift he received from me…

Ha. Now James is begging me to stop. Oh well…*evil smirk*

Okay, so, today's Christmas. I don't know if we've established this or not, but, it's Christmas. Currently Christmas night, Christmas was this morning. But this morning, we, the Marauders, all gave each other gifts, right? (James gave me this ruddy thing, Peter gave me a quill, and Remus gave me chocolate to eat while I'm writing. Ha. Ha.) Anyway, I actually didn't get James a gift.

Lily did.

*snickers* Okay, you kind of had to be there to get it. But anyway, the thing is, I gave James a gift with Lily's name on it, and then gave him a separate gift that was also from me. The separate gift was some Zonko's stuff, but anyway, when James saw the gift he-thought-was-from-Lily-but-really-was-from-me, he was as squealish and girlish. Disgraceful for a Marauder, really.

Mr. Prongs would like to add that it takes one to know one.

That was the worst come back ever, you know that?

Well, you would know all about worst come backs, wouldn't you?

Hush. He was all, 'OMG, Sirius, Lily got me a gift! *eek*!'

Was not.

Was too. Now shove off.

Oh, is Padfoot getting protective of his diary now? You should totally name it, you know.

It's not a diary! It's a journal! And no, I will not name it. You know whatever you write contributes to what I write, too, right?

…

*cackles madly* 'Kay. So James was like,

'OMG!'

And I was like, '*cackle* Good for you, Prongs.'

And James was like, 'OMG!'

And I was like, 'Good for you, Prongs.'

And, 'OMG!'

And then I said, 'What the Merlin, be quiet, James.'

And-

Padfoot, you sound like a girl.

Shut up. And then I told James to give Lily a hug and thank her (the gift was this broom polishing kit, not a real one, just plastic, but James doesn't need to know that) so he said, 'Okay'. And while he was off running and screaming like the little girl he is-

Hey!

-I was laughing. So deciding to follow, I followed and James was there in the common room with Lily. So James was like, 'thank you, thank you, thank you' and Lily was like, 'What the heck get away from me you freak' So James said, 'Thanks for your gift.' Much more slowly.

And then what happened after was hilarious.

Lily stared at James like he was a mental patient from Saint Mungo's (Which he could be if he tried)

Hey!

-and said, all slow like she was talking to a three-year old or something, she was like, 'I did not give you a present, Potter.'

So James says, 'Yes you did, its right here.' And he shows it to her.

So the whole time Lily was staring at the kit and the nametag and then she waves her wand over the gift. A moment later she was like, 'You're an idiot. How do you not recognize your best mate's writing?'

And so I was like, Ha.

James gets all flustered and is like, 'But-but-'

So Lily blinks at him and says. 'Get away from me, Potter.'

So the whole time James is walking away and pouting, he doesn't realize Lily is wearing the necklace he gave her. And-

Whoa, whoa, wait. What?

James. And-

Why didn't you tell me! It would have helped my self-esteem, you know.

James?

Yes, Paddy?

Sod off. And after that James sees me and comes running and starts screaming, and he acts like and sounds like a total girl, you know? So while James stood there screaming, Lily snuck up behind him and hexed his hair pink. And then she was like, 'Merry Christmas, Potter'. And she walks away laughing. Good huh?

No it was not good you little-

Now it may not sound funny to you, but you're just a diary, so what do you know? You had to be there. Anyway, this is over, so, bye.

No, Sirius. You have to sign off with a cool signature or something. You can't just say, 'bye'. How un-Marauder like is that?

*huffs* Fine. See ya later, dia-ray.

Signing off,

The Great Sirius Orion Black

…*snicker*