I'm back. Though I'm not sure how long. Updates will be sporadic, but faster than they previously have been (in all hope).

First off, I own nothing except my version of Naruto (I wish) and maybe a jutsu or two.

I am begging. Reviews tell me what is right, wrong, liked, and disliked. I love knowing people care about the story enough to say something, even if the review is simply "good job" or any other two word combination. Credit out to all my reviewers, especially those who asked good questions about the series and offered criticism.

Training and Trip

Five days ago, four days before Naruto had left, Sasuke was still in the hospital. He was stuck with only the occasional visitor and with more than enough quiet time to sort through his thoughts. About his teammates, his brother, his sensei, his village. About Naruto. It was hard, he decided. He was falling behind. His teammate, his rival, one of the few he considered a friend, even a brother, was leaving him behind. And he was still stuck in the hospital as many council members, wishing for their Uchiha to be "undamaged," had pushed for extra recovery time. God he couldn't stand them some times.

He heard how Neji fell, he saw how Gaara fell, he watched as Sakura was saved, he had recently heard rumor of his rival even being taken in by Jiraiya as an apprentice. But… Naruto was leaving him behind. Sasuke sat in his room in the hospital, bound to be released that evening, thinking about his life. He felt a small burn on his shoulder as that blasted seal attempted to break loose. But he would beat Itachi under his own power, not rely on gifted power as, he believed, no power was truly free. But he needed to improve.

Sure, he had chased down the sand siblings, had pierced the "ultimate" defense, and had taken Temari out of the equation. But that was nothing. What happened to the Sasuke on that first C-ranked mission to wave? The time that Sasuke beat a chunin, one of the Demon Brothers, as his first real fight? Who kept Naruto alive for such a long time in that death trap of funhouse mirrors made by that Haku girl? The boy who, although shaken, brazenly took on one of the Sannin? Was that boy gone?

Suffice it to say that, when he checked out later that evening, he was still thinking along that train of thought. He almost walked into someone, muttering a small, though fairly respectful, apology before walking off, only to be stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The avenger turned around to find an older man with an eye patch and a bandaged arm. Among those signs previously mentioned, various scars on his face and the way he carried himself conveyed a very simple idea. This man had been shinobi at one point, probably jounin.

"Yes, elder?" asked the boy, attempting respect though fairly impatient.

"You are too impatient, my boy." Sasuke cringed. He was no one's 'boy.' "And you don't hide your emotions well. My name is Danzo and I was one of Sarutobi's colleagues, active in the field when he was."

Sasuke did feel some respect for the man. It was hard not to respect a man with so much experience who had managed to survive his peers and even survive his younger opponents. At his age, he had probably even fought in at least one if not all of the three great shinobi wars. "And what do you want with me, Danzo-san?"

The man gave a small, imperceptible smile. The boy was listening to his talk. "I want what you want. I want you to become stronger. I want you to improve. I want you to not be tempted by the snake's power."

But now Sasuke was ready to brush the man off. "I am doing so, just fine in fact. And I'll be on my way if you have nothing else to say." The boy started to walk off until he heard the man chuckle.

"No, I have more to say, more to offer. And you need it. Have you not even realized that I just mentioned your cursed seal?" Sasuke froze in place. How could this odd man know. He turned back towards the old shinobi. "A highly classified, well-hidden secret? Are your observation skills so low as to not pick up on that.?"

The man was silent as if asking for a response and receiving none. "I have not been on active duty since the time of peace between wars. That was when I lost the use of my arm. But I was an elite jounin, and loved my village. It is for that reason that I founded a secret group known as Root. We did the dirty missions, though necessary, that not even the Anbu would touch. We assassinated royalty, destroyed nonmilitary property of all means, sowed dissension between our enemies."

Sasuke smirked. "If they were so secret, would you really just talk about them in public like this?"

Danzo, now liking the boy's attitude a little, smirked in kind. "Look at each person within a hundred foot radius." Sasuke saw a few nurses, a young couple, a man walking by in a suit, and a maintenance worker. "Now look for the symbol on each of their right sleeves." And each person had the same symbol, in the same spot. "Did you even notice the four ninja on top of the hospital's roof, watching us?" Sasuke turned and found his words to be true as a shroud disappeared from around four nin, Sasuke's sharingan letting him see through the genjutsu that hid them from sight. "Believe you me, boy, this is a secure area. And, as I mentioned earlier, your observation skills are not up to par."

Sasuke was impressed. And a little intimidated. "So what was your offer, then?"

"Normally I teach those in Root to be able to lose all of their emotions while on the job. You, however, are an important figure in the future, bound to recreate a powerful clan if you live that long. You would only receive the barest of emotional restraint training. Instead, we would work on the other specialty of Root. You will be taught my me, by my best men, in becoming invisible, silent, the perfect spy and assassin. I know you don't believe you can catch up to Uzumaki."

Here Sasuke growled slightly. "And that is true. He has more chakra, and a particular bloodline of his own. He will, in time, always be better on the battle field and in an open fight. You, however, have amazing potential as well. He may be able to beat you in a fight, but if he becomes Konoha's image, you will become Konoha's shield, taking out threats the villagers will never know existed. You will kill Itachi, not through brute strength and flashy jutsu, but with a single well placed knife. You have more potential than I've ever seen to become the best assassin in the shinobi world." The man reached out and put a small stone in Sasuke's palm.

"You have five days. If you are interested before time is up, put chakra through that stone. If you do, there is no turning back. Farewell, Sasuke-san."

Sasuke looked down at his palm, examining the small, average stone. When he looked up, the nurses, couple, man in suit, ninja from the rooftop, maintenance worker, and Danzo himself were gone. He'd think about that offer. And think he did. It was only this morning that Sasuke had picked up the stone and, focusing with a half ram seal, charged chakra through the odd stone. "About fucking time," said a large man who had just appeared in the boy's living room. "Now," the man gave a snaggletoothed smile, "welcome to Hell."

Sakura was on cloud nine. She had been training with Sasuke for three days now, and she felt both closer and farther to him than ever. She knew him better. She got him to smile, even joke once or twice. But she realized it wasn't time for her be in a relationship with him. She was, well, obsessive and he was a broken person. But still, she was proud. Yesterday, Kakashi came by to help them train and even complemented her on taijutsu. He had never done that before.

But she couldn't find Sasuke this morning, so she decided to check the training grounds. She wandered here and there, slowly going farther and farther from the village's center, before stumbling onto a training ground that seemed empty. Until the first explosion went off. The pink haired girl fell to the ground, shaken off of her feet, as two kunoichi appeared in the clearing, kunai clashing. She watched them both gain distance, throwing shuriken while performing hand seals, only for one of the combatants to lull, as if asleep on her feet. The second woman, beautiful ebony haired woman, ran up to her, only to jump away as the purple haired woman suddenly came back to life and shot snakes from her sleeves that, oddly, weren't targeting Kurenai. No, the snakes were coming right for Sakura!

The girl took out a kunai of her own and cut as many as she could down in self-defense. But it wasn't enough. She was soon wrapped up and the snake ropes retracted to their owner, holding her upside-down in the air. "Hey, Kurenai, look what I've caught!" said Anko gleefully. Now Sakura remembered her, the ape-shit insane proctor from the chunin exams. "It's pink!" the woman shouted, as if it explained everything.

"And she also took out quite a few snakes before getting caught."

"What?" asked the purplette before eyeing the bloody mess. "So she did." The woman faked a tear. "She killed those innocent little snakes." Without warning, the snakes dropped Sakura on her head and disappeared. "Better than I would have expected."

"Thanks?" Sakura said, wondering if it was a compliment or insult.

"Tell me, pinky-chan, what training have you been doing since the invasion?" the snake-mistress asked questioningly.

Sakura easily revealed her schedule, an intense morning to night attempt to improve in which she worked primarily on speed, improving her chakra reserves, and genjutsu. And the jounin were impressed. Maybe she wasn't just a fan girl. "So," the crazy woman continued, her interest peaked at Sakura's personality and Kurenai's at Sakura's mention of genjutsu, "you want some senseis for the afternoon?" Before Sakura could respond, Anko quickly said, "Good then, we'll start with twenty laps and increase it from there." Sakura had never come back from training so sore before as she did that night. Or quite as proud.

Naruto was aggravated. Aang said it was the first step to something greater, something that he'd only achieved late in the age of ninja, but something amazing. Right now, however, it was the most extreme charka control exercise Naruto had heard of. But damn it was hard to walk on air bubbles! Honestly it was the best thing that could be done on the road as Jiraiya said it would be best to get into town to teach him a special jutsu. So, in the meantime, he was using chakra to condense the air underneath his feet. Right now, Aang said, it would be good enough if he could just feel resistance when he walked, but that, eventually, he should actually not touch the ground.

The technique performed under the same idea as water-walking and tree-walking, just to the extreme. Where tree-walking let one learn how much chakra would hold their body and to focus it to the foot, one of the hardest areas of the body to focus chakra to, it used a constant amount of chakra for the most part. In water-walking, not only was the surface one was standing on constantly shifting, but now one had to use chakra to attract water molecules together and to increase the intermolecular bonds to the point where the liquid could hold a human's weight. Air-walking was nothing new, but much harder. One had to pull all of the molecules in the air under a single foot and strengthen the attractions between molecules so much that the normally chaotic and distant gases that composed the air would be able to support human weight. And it was really hard!

But Aang said that he should be able to do it and that, if he could manage the chakra control for this, then other jutsu would become much easier to control. So he performed the exercise, stumbling along, nearly falling when the air gave more or less resistance than he expected, but, as with most things revolving around manipulating air, he picked it up fairly quickly. By the time they had reached the first town on their list for searching, he had the technique down pretty well. With each step, before his foot actually hit the ground, it felt like he was pushing through something with just a little more give, something about the consistency of water or just a little runnier. Jiraiya still laughed at the boy as the way he was walking looked funny, but Naruto had told him of the exercise when he had fallen for the umpteenth time and really both Jiraiya and Aang were impressed by how fast he was progressing.

As they reached a hill that overlooked much of the town, Jiraiya stopped Naruto to brief him on their goals today. "Okay, brat," he started, "I'm going to give you money to find a room tonight for us. I'll be looking for information. I'll find you later, so have fun, you have the rest of the day off." Jiraiya tossed him a few coins before the two walked into town and the spymaster took off to find information on his own. Until Jiraiya found the boy walking with him.

"Naruto," the man said, "you know I gave you the day off, right?" The boy nodded. "Then why are you following me?"

"Well," the boy started, "if I'm your apprentice, and getting information is a big part of your job, then shouldn't I be seeing how you do it?" It made sense to him, and to Aang.

Jiraiya, however, was disagreeable. Not that the boy wanted to learn, but half of his sources were in questionable brothels and the seediest bars. Places where a perverted old man would be treated as commonplace but a young boy in the beginning of his teenage years would be sure to draw some odd looks. And Jiraiya didn't want to be memorable while gathering information. "No can do, Naruto." The boy looked like he was going to argue, but Jiraiya cut him off. "No- no buts. I'm glad you want to learn all aspects of being a shinobi, including gathering information, but where I'm going you'd blow any cover I had." At that, the boy looked down.

"Tell you what, next time I go out for information I'll go somewhere you can follow and help." Naruto perked up at that. "For now, find us a room, enjoy the town. I hear there's even a festival in the market district."

"Sure thing, Ero-sannin!" the boy said, and soon he was off.

"Goddamn brat," Jiraiya mumbled. "So much like his father it almost hurts. Good kid though." With that, he turned into a nearby ally, looking for a bar in town known for not asking questions of customers, but for seeing everyone who went through. At a price, of course. And after that he'd probably check out the local brothel. He didn't have any paid contacts in this town, but you could always pick something up from the girls at a house of pleasure. Men talked too much when they were trying to impress a pretty girl. And maybe, after he got what he was going there for, he'd ask for some information about Tsunade.

That left Naruto to wander around town, still practicing the airwalk exercise. He checked out the festival in town, and actually had fun meeting some new people and playing a few games. It was really great to experience a town where he was just another person. Where they didn't stare at him like a freak. Not to say that life was terrible in Konoha. He had always had the old man, the Ichiraku's, a few friends, and used to be babysat by Iruka before the man started to teach the Academy. And, of course, the past year or so he had gotten more friends who made him feel like just another normal teen - well, as normal as a physics-defying, element-flinging, clone-slinging, chakra-beast-containing teen could be.

But the looks of hate some villagers sent his way, as well as the looks of resentment and the looks that passed through him as if pretending or wishing he didn't exist, those hurt. He had been overcharged on most everything, had been taken by the Hokage from the orphanage for his own safety, and had been alone except for his few precious people. All those looks, all of his history, hurt. It really dug deep into the psyche of an emotional little boy who was told he was wrong, that he had sinned. And what was his sin? They said it was that he was born, that he mocked the heroes of the village, that he was a sin. That he had missed the mark.

Even now, when he got a few approving looks after his fight with Neji and the story of him taking on the Ichibi had gotten loose, those looks were just as bad. They didn't say, "Thank you," or, "We're sorry." They said, "At least he's not a total fuck up." "At least he's useful as a weapon." "He may be a demon, but at least it's not to us." They said one thing: "You did your duty. You did what few people could. Good. But don't expect thanks. We expected this of the demon inside you. It just proves what we always thought. You really are demon spawn." It wasn't hate anymore. It was, however, still brutal. Here, he received none of these looks.

No, the only looks he received were friendly hellos from happy festival-goers. A few looks of awe from little kids who saw the hitai-ate and asked him to show them "ninja tricks!" And he did. He cloned himself, used replacement on random targets, and amazed them with henge. Then they dragged him towards the games. He knocked over the milk bottle towers with little rubber balls, slammed the hammer on the lever hard enough to ring the bell, and gave away all of the prizes he won. He found himself picking out stuffed foxes more than anything else, though he did give one or two little boys stuffed toads. It was peaceful, relaxing, and overall fun.

After eating some lunch, he decided to go get the room as Jiraiya had asked. After finding a little bed-and-breakfast place, he decided that, no matter what Ero-sannin said, it might be good to get some experience in finding information. Plus, how was Ero-sannin supposed to find him anyway?

Naruto quickly created fifteen clones to run looking for the old pervert. He walked around aimlessly in the meantime, killing some time and looking himself. Soon though, Aang contacted him. 'Naruto, I believe that, while we wait for your clones' information I should tell you one of the three things this "air walking" can do for you. Now that you have condensed the air under your feet to such an extent, you need to do so around your whole body. This is a superior resistance training to using weights and will cause less damage to your muscles over time. You will also be using more chakra, which means your chakra stores will increase as will your chakra control. This in turn will allow you to use more chakra for air walking to further increase resistance and further increase your aptitude to use chakra.'

'Really?' the boy contacted the monk. 'If that is just one of the things it does, then what are the others?'

Aang thought for a moment. 'Well, once you are able to thicken the air enough, you can use the second technique. A permanent shield against any non-fire attack that uses condensed air to block and deflect techniques. You still will take damage – especially from lightning – if the attack is strong enough, but the shield should still weaken it.' The monk was quiet for a moment, determining if he should tell Naruto the third technique. 'One day, it may not be for several years, you will be able to use the third technique. But I don't want to get your hopes up and will keep it a secret for now. In the meantime, simply focus on spreading the resistance across your whole body.'

Although put out he didn't get to learn the third technique, he was psyched up to master the resistance technique and started, as Aang always suggested, with some meditation. It took a much larger portion of his chakra to maintain and, as of yet, was very unstable around his body. The pressure was not constant and shifted from average air to what felt like a semi-solid wall over the various surfaces of his skin, but he was satisfied to note that his entire body was already covered in the thickening air, an accomplishment that had taken him much longer with his feet.

A few seconds later and he received a poof of memory from a clone that had found someone crying out "Master Jiraiya! Master!" from a building on the other side of town. He dismissed the rest of his clones as he left to find his wayward sensei, though it is regrettable that he didn't wait that extra second to release his clones as they just missed the sight of two intimidating men rounding the corner. Their cloaks blowing lightly in the summer breeze, making it look like the red clouds on them were actually moving across the sable sky.

"I swear Shikimaru, if you even try that jutsu on me I'll already have control of your body to determine what both of us do."

"So troublesome," stated the above named ninja. Their team had been on a training kick ever since Naruto had joined them and, even though he had been gone for a few days now, they were still going at it hard. The three team members had been sparring with Asuma as their judge and mediator for the better part of the morning and the three-way match had been fairly even. It all changed when Ino had dodged the human boulder that is Choji under the influence of the Nikudan Sensha and Shikimaru had managed to corral the boy in with shadow spikes by using the Kage Nui jutsu, threatening to pop him like a balloon if he so much as moved and causing the boy to drop out. With Choji out of the picture it had been a one on one spar against Ino that had started off fine. Until she proved that she, too, could be a strategist.

It wasn't that her plans were better than Shikimaru's, but she definitely hadn't wasted any chakra on massive shadow spikes and that meant that many of his easier and better plans didn't work as he was running out of chakra and, though they were both physically tired from the small bouts of taijutsu that had broken out as time passed, she was still pretty full up on chakra. And now they were at an impasse. He only had the chakra for a single Kage Mane no Jutsu, or Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu, but she was cornered. She, on the other hand, couldn't get closer to engage him in taijutsu without being much too far into the range of his shadow but could shoot out one last Shintenshin no Jutsu at him which would travel just as fast as his shadow. For once, despite being the lazy one, Shikimaru rushed through hand signs first, shooting out his shadow and targeting the girl. Only for them to go right through her and for her to shimmer and disappear.

A kunai against his neck mere moments later convinced him to break his hand seal and declare defeat. She had kept that genjutsu up her sleeve until the last second and it had been a highly effective trump card. "Fine, fine, I give," he said while putting his hands into the air. Ino pulled away the kunai, giggled, and gave a small girly victory pose.

"I am so going to kick Naruto-kun's butt when he comes back if he doesn't trade hard enough while he's away."

Asuma chuckled at that. "Sorry to break the bad news to you, Ino, but don't remember when he fought with me? He was probably at the level of a strong chunin, or even weak special jounin when we fought. You may have improved, but I don't think you can deal with him just yet." He laughed again as she pouted. "Tell you what, we can go where you want to eat today because you won the spar."

They were expecting a café knowing her, and were quite surprised when, without a second though she said, "Ichiraku Ramen." Then again, maybe Shikimaru wasn't quite so surprised as they all knew she was dating Naruto and that was his favorite place.

On their way to the ramen stand they were passed up by Lee and Gai, as well as both Neji and Tenten who were running laps through the market district of the village. Although normal for Lee and Gai, it was new for the other two. Neji decided that he needed more stamina in the future and Tenten was trying to get her body up to snuff for kenjutsu and had such joined the green beasts. A little later, they found Sakura stumbling through the streets. She looked like she just came from a warzone which, considering her new sensei, was a distinct possibility. "Can't talk. Need food. Sleep. And then I train more."

Choji took pity on her, though, and threw her over his shoulder as they all went to the ramen stand. Pulling aside the curtain revealed team Kurenai already at lunch. While Choji sat Sakura on a stool at the stand and Shikimaru said hi to Kiba, Ino sat down next to Hinata. It seemed that Hinata had been trying much harder to change for the last few days, even standing up for herself once at dinner when a passing negative comment had come from one of the less popular elders of her clan. Of course, when her father saw she was hesitating less during sparring he deigned to take her side and chastised the man.

All in all though, everyone had been trying harder since the chunin exams ended and Naruto had left on his mission. After a short lunch break, which Sakura had slept through, Kurenai's team left for more training, Asuma's team left for a local C-rank mission, and Sakura remained asleep at a bar stool. At least until snakes wrapped around her limbs and dragged her away, her fingers clawing into the ground in resistance and her stomach growling in hunger at the missed opportunity for lunch. If she only knew how much harder Sasuke's training was, it is highly doubtful she would have been so reluctant for her much more lenient sensei.

It was late in the afternoon that same day when a young blonde boy followed his white haired sensei over to a balloon stand. The stand was in bad shape as a missing nin in his early twenties had picked a fight with Jiraiya and been flung, courtesy of the Rasengan Express, through the air, two walls (one fairly thin wood, one adobe), a fairly small tree, and into the stand where his body still lay. Twitching. While Naruto poked at the downed man's body in attempt to get a response, Jiraiya paid for all the stand's balloons and left the owner a hefty tip that would cover repairs.

"Come along Naruto," called the toad sannin. "We can do the first step for the rasengan at the inn."

The blonde looked up from the nin on the stand and quickly followed. "Coming Mas- you know, calling you master just doesn't feel right after walking in on that girl who meant it in a whole different way."

"Haha!" the older man laughed. "I guess I've still got it then. Just call me sensei and we'll be fine. For now though, we've got a couple more towns to check before we get to the big cities so we'll need to rest up."

They walked in to the room Naruto reserved for them, never noticing the crow across the street that peered into the building. Or its eye that, oddly enough, had three magatama rotating lazily around in a circle.

They spent the next day on the road and Jiraiya decided it was time to show the runt the rasengan again before the boy started to actually learn it and the boy was happy for the break. Due to his resistance training that he was doing for Aang, it felt like he had been walking through a thick slough all day long. Naruto watched closely as it seemed to almost disintegrate the part of the tree that Jiraiya had targeted.

"I get that it's strong, and seal less, and even fairly quiet until it hits the target," Naruto started, "but if it's that good then why don't more people learn it? It just looks like a big ball and swirling chakra."

"And that is exactly what it is," replied his master. "The truth is that there are two main manipulations behind all strong ninjutsu. One is elemental manipulation that causes one to understand and control the elements of fire, lightning, wind, earth, and water – even if you keep telling me there are only four and that lightning doesn't count. The other is shape manipulation and that determines if the burst of fire or air or whatever you use comes out as a spear, a ball, or anything else."

The man stopped to blow up a balloon. "The truth of the matter is that both of these take the average ninja years, decades even, to learn and master. And the rasengan is both the pinnacle and antithesis of shape manipulation which is what makes it truly hard to learn. And that's in addition to a chakra expenditure that could kill some chunin. I'll perform it once more to show you why, so pay close attention."

The man slowly formed up a bluish ball in his hand that then filled with a cacophony of blue and white swirls that touched but did not penetrate the surface. He then slowly put his hand through the bark of the tree again so Naruto could carefully examine the technique.

The boy soon figured it out. "There's a shell. You make a shell of chakra and then fill it with spiraling spinning chakra. The shell doesn't cut, but isn't affected by touching things and when something passes through the shell, the chakra inside grinds it down."

Aang was impressed as the boy had figured it out even before the monk had – and that was saying something as Naruto didn't used to be known as the sharpest knife in the drawer and, with thousands of years' experience, the monk was quite perceptive. Jiraiya, too, was impressed as he had only expected Naruto to grasp the idea of the shell by the third step of his three step process to make the rasengan. Still, knowing what to do and doing it are different things entirely.

"That is exactly right, gaki. Like I was saying, though, the problem is learning both parts to it. Experienced ninja can usually make the shell easily enough, and inexperienced nin can often make a wild chakra appear if they flare it all into their palm. The problem is doing both at the same time and spinning the chakra inside the shell. But that, is not what you need to do right now."

"What? Then what am I supposed to do? Isn't that all there is to the technique?" asked a confused blonde.

"Yes, that is all there is to it. But we do it in steps so it's easier than all at once." At that he held up a balloon in front of Naruto. He focused for a second before bumps and various rings formed all around the balloon until the balloon popped. "For now, just work on the spinning. Treat the balloon as the shell. And once you pop this shell, we'll continue."

He passed a balloon to Naruto who blew it up before grasping it in his hand and focusing tightly, eyes closed and focused on feeling the chakra moving. After a few seconds, he heard a loud "pop!" and found a busted balloon in his hand. "I did it!" the boy exclaimed while jumping up and down slightly in glee. "What's next?"

Jiraiya chuckled before simply responding, "Now don't use wind manipulation or air bending to do it."

Naruto nearly tripped mid-celebration as he realized he had cheated and not used pure shape manipulation. "Fine. But I swear I'll get this one too, old man." The boy was still walking through molasses and trying to pop the balloon when they arrived in the next town and stopped at an inn, Jiraiya splitting off from Naruto to go talk to an informant while the boy trained.

After about an hour of meditation, balloon in one hand, Naruto had easily gotten bulges and rings on the surface of the balloon, but couldn't yet pop it. But then he felt it. He was moving his chakra correctly, and if he just knock-knock-knock. His eyes opened, his concentration ruined, and he glared at the door. Knock-knock-knock.He refocused on his balloon. Surely the people would leave if he just didn't answer. Yet again he closed his eyes but this time he got into the correct frame of mind instantly. 'Ah, I get it,' he thought. 'I just need to spin it in as many directions as I can and-' Poof! The balloon popped. Followed by a KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.

"Coming!" Naruto called. He was in a good mood, a good, good mood. He had just completed the first step of a only three step program for a low A-rank jutsu in one day that had taken Jiraiya nearly a week. He would be bragging tonight. Bragging and sending fifty clones into the woods to get his speed of doing the step up. He walked up to the door, opened it, and greeted his guests.

"What can I do for- Fuck!" It did not take a genius to know that when you saw Sharingan, you had a Uchiha. And when there were only two left, and this one was not Sasuke, he reacted fairly appropriately. "Itachi Uchiha." Itachi was a fairly attractive man with pitch black hair worn in a small ponytail, pale skin, and regal features. Two lines – either of age or stress though likely the latter as the life of a ninja is very stressful- ran down the sides of his face, and two striking red eyes adorned his face. Naruto then noticed the taller blue man behind Itachi with the sharpened teeth that signified one of the seven swordsman or a wannabe, gills which indicated a water user, and carrying a huge wrapped object. "And accomplice."

"You are to come with us, Naruto-san," Itachi said in a calm, emotionless voice.

"Yeah, or we'll have to make you come with us," said the blue man as he reached lightly for the bundle on his back. "Or Samehada will take off your legs." Now Naruto knew this man as another S-class – the highest class currently given – missing nin. Kisame Hoshigake.

"No," a red-haired man in a tattered black coat told a white-haired man in a red outfit, "I haven't heard about snakes or slugs, but I have heard about red clouds."

"You don't say? What kind of village would you be able to see red clouds in? It has to be a unique thing to behold," responded Jiraiya.

"Oh, certainly. They say there are two you can see in town now." The man paused, took a drink, and noticed several gold coins now on the table. "There are even rumors that weasels and fish are running about in town, but you know how unreliable such rumors can be."

"True, but it does strike my interest." As the toad sage stood up he put another coin on the table. "That ought to pay for our drinks," he said while knowing that it would take a month of drinking to burn through a quarter of the gold. "But now I'm going sightseeing. You are always such an interesting guide and I hope I can count on you for more entertainment in the future." The white-haired man shoved his way out of the bar and started running at a pace that most jounin would envy. After all, the crafty weasel and hungry shark may be hunting for prey.

Naruto slowly reached his hands behind his head in a manner that screamed subservience and surrender. He walked from the room and to the waiting men. Kisame was about to grab him and leave in a sunshin, only two hear two dreaded, and probably not wise for any stealth oriented task, words. "Dynamic Entry!"

The fish man quickly brought up his bundle to block the attack from a green-wearing jounin as Itachi jumped into the air, throwing shuriken both at the ground where he stood and a patch on the wall. Both spots burst into smoke as the hidden Kage Bunshin made by Kakashi that were about to spring a trap were destroyed. The cyclopean jounin walked around the corner, eye-smile in place but porn put away. "Ah, I see you found out my little ruse?" he asked.

"Yes. And now, you will both-" Kisame began only to jump back as a third voice called out, "Doton: Yomi Numa!" The floor turned into a quicksand like swamp that tried to suck in the two nukenin but did not affect the Konoha nin.

The floor turned back to normal as Jiraiya also rounded a corner at the other end of the hall. "Kuchiyose no Justsu: Iwagama!" the man shouted as he finished one last seal and slammed his hands into the ground. The walls, floor, and ceiling turned into a fleshy substance, the near impenetrable stomach of a giant fire-breathing toad, that also attempted to engulf and digest the nuke nin in such a fashion that ceiling and wall walking were useless defenses.

"Come! Kisame!" the Uchiha shouted. "We may win a fight here, but at least one of us would be lost. Trapped between Kakashi and Jiraiya with Gai in their midst was not a good plan and they went the only available place. Up.

Itachi muttered "Amaterasu" as eyes changed into a new form, that of the Mangekyou Sharingan, for a few seconds while spewing out black fire that easily ate through the ceiling. The nukenin leapt through the hole and Gai was quick to follow, but stopped by Jiraiya as the black flame coalesced into a boundary that would have cooked Gai in an instant. Jiraiya grabbed a scroll from his black with the kanji for fire and absorb on it, swiped a little blood across it, and watched as the fire was collected and extinguished into the scroll.

The three experienced nin and a nearly shell-shocked Naruto looked at the destruction as the toad stomach jutsu was released. Without a word wasted, the master grabbed his apprentice's shoulder and spirited them away while the jounin followed. No way in Hell was he paying for this mess. It was only a few seconds later when an unfortunate innkeeper came upon the damage. "No! My hotel rooms!" Little did he know that, as the reincarnation of a particular cabbage seller, he was cursed to constant property damage. But he would find out in time.

Kage Nui- Shadow Sewing- Spikes are made from shadows and are capable of piercing, cutting, and tearing.

Nikudan Sensha-Human Bullet Tank-The Akimichi user expands into a huge cannonball capable of quick movement and devastating blows.

Rasengan-Spiraling Sphere- The ultimate in shape manipulation that can grind most anything through the use of spiraling chakra contained in a spherical shell. It is not a complete jutsu.

Amaterasu-Goddess of the Sun-The ultimate fire technique is a bloodline only technique that requires the Mangekyou Sharingan, the form unlocked upon the owner of a mature Sharingan maintaining emotional strain (usually) from killing one's best friend. Amaterasu releases a black flame from one eye that can burn (almost) anything and does not cease to burn for a long period of time without further control.

Dynamic Entry-An entry kick used by Maito Gai that involves a high-speed jump kick.

Kage Mane no Jutsu-Shadow Imitation Technique-The controlling Nara manipulates their shadow until it connects with an opponent's. The Nara's physical actions are then repeated by the subdued party. It seems a strong enough person (though it is not determined if this is purely physical strength or if chakra enhanced strength also counts) can break the jutsu with enough effort.

Kage Kubi Shibari-Shadow Neck Bind- A variation of Shadow control used by the Nara clan to make shadow hands to strangle, hold, or break the opponent.

Kuchiyose no Justsu: Iwagama-Summoning Technique: Toad Stomach- The stomach of the Iwagama toad is very dense and acidic and can suck in and digest lesser opponents. It is also hard to escape and the toad breathes fire and must have a very strong stomach to do so.

Shintenshin no Jutsu-Mind Body Change Technique- The Yamanaka user projects his/her soul/mind to enter another body. They can then absorb (some) memory and control the body in (almost) all cases. The user's body, however, is left vulnerable and damage done to the possessed body is also done to the user's body. Canon expresses concern over the technique's slow speed and necessity for a good, straight aim.

Doton: Yomi Numa- Swamp of the Underworld – The user creates a quicksand-like bog on the ground to trap and slow enemies. It seems that chakra use determines thickness of the swamp and depth of the swamp.

Cabbage Seller- In Avatar, one unlucky man consistently has his cabbage stand destroyed by Aang and company under unfortunate, though often funny, circumstances. In honor of the destroyed hotels in Naruto, he will not be forgotten as his reincarnation's inns are destroyed.

And that is where I stop for the night. The chapter has been slightly edited, though not so much that one really needs to reread it.

Yet again, I am begging. Reviews tell me what is right, wrong, liked, and disliked. I love knowing people care about the story enough to say something, even if the review is simply "good job" or any other two word combination. Good night, beautiful and not so beautiful people of the interwebs.